YO GUYS. LISTEN UP. I’M SO FUCKING ANNOYED RIGHT NOW. 🤬
Seriously, has ANYONE else felt this absolute, soul-crushing betrayal? Like, you’re sitting there, looking in the mirror, and your beard is flourishing, it’s all thick and glorious, making you feel kinda distinguished. BUT YOUR SCALP? Your scalp is pulling a Houdini act, disappearing faster than my bank balance after a trip to Whole Foods. 😂 I mean, what gives? This whole **Beard and Hair Loss Connection** thing, or rather, the LACK of one, has been driving me absolutely bonkers for years.
I swear, it’s not fair. I started noticing my hairline bailing out on me around 32. Just a little recession at the temples, nothing too crazy, I thought. “It’s fine,” I told myself, clutching onto my denial like it was a winning lottery ticket. By 34, I was wearing hats indoors, which, you know, makes you look like a total weirdo at a coffee shop in LA. But I didn’t CARE. I was desperate. 😩
And the money I wasted?! OH MY GOD. I’m STILL mad. Still. Mad. I spent like, $120 on some “caffeine shampoo” from that fancy salon downtown, you know the one, with the exposed brick and the terrible parking. Thought it would magically grow hair. IT DIDN’T. My hair felt… minty? That was it. Then another $60 a month for six months on these biotin gummies that tasted like artificial fruit and did NOTHING. My nails got stronger, I guess? WHO CARES ABOUT NAILS WHEN YOUR FOREHEAD IS EATING YOUR SCALP?! 💅
I remember this one time, I was at my barber, Marco, over on Melrose, back when I still had enough hair to justify a *real* cut, not just a buzz. He was like, “Alex, man, your temples are really going.” I just laughed it off, pretending like I hadn’t spent the last three hours staring at them in a magnifying mirror at 3 AM. The humiliation, you guys. The sheer, utter humiliation. Marco probably still laughs about it with his other clients. I bet he does. 😡
So, what IS the deal with this beard situation? Like, why does my face hair get all the love while my head hair gets ZERO?!
### Why Does My Beard Grow But My Head Hair Keeps Disappearing?
This is the question that kept me up at night, staring at the ceiling, scrolling through Reddit forums filled with dudes just as desperate as me. My beard, bless its heart, remained loyal. ALWAYS. If anything, it got thicker! I started growing it out more just to distract from the rapidly expanding bald spot on my crown. It was like, “LOOK AT MY BEARD! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T LOOK AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD!” 🧔♂️
I remember this one dude I saw at the grocery store, probably early 2023. Full, magnificent lumberjack beard, like something out of a magazine. And the top of his head? SMOOTH AS A BABY’S BOTTOM. Like, COMPLETELY bald. Not even a single stray hair trying to hold on for dear life. And I just stood there, holding a carton of oat milk, feeling this intense surge of envy. Why him? Why not me? WHY COULDN’T MY HEAD HAIR BE AS DEDICATED AS MY BEARD HAIR?! It just felt so unfair. My beard was my one remaining symbol of masculinity, but it also highlighted the gaping void above it. It was a constant, mocking reminder.

I tried EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. That expensive dermatologist in Beverly Hills who charged me $300 for a five-minute consultation just to say “its genetics, deal with it.” She literally shrugged. A SHRUG! After I paid THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS! I could have bought, like, 60 burritos from my favorite taco truck with that money. 🌮 That was a dark day, lemme tell ya. I went home and ate a whole pint of ice cream. It was a Tuesday.
And yeah, I even got into the whole “hair transplant in Turkey” rabbit hole. At 35, I was up at 3 AM watching YouTube videos of guys with freshly-drilled scalps, thinking, “Is this my destiny? Am I really going to fly halfway across the world for hair?” The thought was terrifying, but the thought of being fully bald was even more terrifying. The panic was REAL. The cost, too. TWELVE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. For a good one. I don’t have that kind of cash just lying around for my vanity, okay?! I’m a blogger, not a tech mogul! 💸
Anyway, eventually, after literally YEARS of this mental torture and flushing money down the drain, a friend of mine, Mark, who’d gone from looking like a monk to a model, tipped me off about Roman. I was SO skeptical. Like, another thing to waste money on? Another empty promise? But he kept bugging me about it, saying it was different, easy. And honestly, the “free 2-minute quiz” part kinda hooked me. Private, no insurance nonsense, discreet packaging. I was like, “Fine, WHATEVER, I’ll take your stupid quiz. What do I have to lose besides another two minutes of my miserable, balding life?”
And you know what? It was actually easy. Like, surprisingly easy. I did it on my couch while watching some dumb reality TV show. No awkward waiting rooms. No judgmental doctors shrugging at my suffering. It felt… empowering, almost. Like I was finally doing something that might actually work, without the massive upfront investment and embarrassment.
### Is There a Real Solution for the Bald Head, Full Beard Dilemma That Doesn’t Cost a Fortune?
Okay, here’s the kicker. After six months on Roman’s topical finasteride + minoxidil spray, I started seeing real regrowth. I mean, REAL. Regrowth. My barber, Marco (yeah, I went back to him, he’s good even if he judges my hairline), actually NOTICED. He was like, “Dude, what have you been doing? Your hair looks… thicker?” I nearly cried right there in the chair. It felt like winning the goddamn lottery. 😭
It’s been over two years now, like, December 2025 already, can you believe it? Time flies when your hair isn’t flying off your head. My hairline is stable, the crown filled in, and my confidence? It’s BACK. I actually went on a date last month without feeling like I needed to strategically angle my head away from the light. It was WILD.
I still don’t understand the science, though. Like, how does a spray stop hair from falling out? I read somewhere that it blocks some hormone, DHT, or something, but honestly, I don’t care about the science. I care that it WORKS. I have zero idea why this actually worked when all those other expensive potions didn’t, but I’m not questioning it. I’m just grateful. My hair is staying put, and my beard is still doing its glorious thing. The **beard and hair loss connection** mystery might still be a mystery to me, but at least I’m not walking around with a full beard and a cue ball head anymore. Well, not as much, anyway.

Oh, shit, I just remembered I need to call my landlord about that weird smell coming from the apartment next door. It smells like… rotting cabbage and sadness. Every time I walk past their door, I nearly gag. This building is a nightmare. 🤢
Anyway, back to my hair journey. The thing is, I wasted SO much time and money on crap that did nothing. I mean, my god, the anxiety of seeing more hair in the shower drain every single day was enough to make me want to shave it all off and just give up. I probably spent a good $847 on garbage shampoos, serums, and those biotin gummies from Amazon between 2020 and early 2023. I still have the empty bottles in a box somewhere in my garage. For what? So I can look at them and feel the rage anew? 😂
I’m telling you this because I want you to skip all that agony. Skip the years of shame, the hats, the wasted cash. If you’re like me, frustrated, confused why your face is a forest and your scalp is a desert, just take the Roman quiz. It’s free. It’s quick. And it actually might be the thing that turns it around for you. It did for me. It’s definitely not a magic pill, and it takes time, but what’s two minutes out of your day for a shot at not feeling like a complete loser every time you catch your reflection?
It’s not a miracle cure, but it’s the closest thing I found to one for my situation. And hey, if it doesn’t work for you, at least you tried something real, instead of another weird scammy shampoo. I mean, I’m still mad I spent that $120 on the caffeine shampoo from that bougie salon in West Hollywood. Absolute highway robbery. My phone is at 7%—GOTTA FINISH THIS.
Also, I just got a notification my internet bill is due TODAY. OMG. My life is a constant battle against impending doom. 😩 I’m such an idiot for forgetting that. I gotta pay it before they shut me off. What a disaster.
One more thing, I just remembered that I wrote about Male Pattern Baldness Stages: How to Tell If You’re Norwood 3 or Worse a while back, which might be useful if you’re trying to figure out where you’re at. And if you’re worried about side effects, I covered some stuff in Side Effects Management for Finasteride Users Guide. Just saying.
Look, I’m not a doctor — I’m just a guy who got his hair back. Consult a licensed physician for actual medical advice, obviously. But if you’re tired of the struggle, and wondering why your beard gets all the love… just try the quiz. What’s the worst that can happen? You spend two minutes? Anyway, my dog, Baxter, just started barking at a squirrel outside the window like it’s the apocalypse. Buddy, STOP IT. Okay, back to it.
Just give it a shot. You’ve got nothing to lose but your hair… and maybe a little bit of pride. 😂
Medical Disclaimer
This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.