baldness is already ONE STRIKE against you

Brandles

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bald
short
fat

pick one.
if you have more than one of these flaws then your life is going to suffer and not only with dating.

the implication is a man losing his hair must always be in immaculate condition, at least that's what I'm told by the kind spirits who offer advice on forums like this. it's condescending when you think about it. if you're bald "you mustn't be XYZ or else".

you know when you have a flaw that is mentioned in the same breath as shortness or being a broke loser than you must be in trouble.
now I'm not saying give up or anything. that's be honest here, most of us will be living on this planet for years to come. it's advisable then to make the best of what we have. it's just such a bloody big burden, on your wallet, self esteem and mental health.
you can't be skinny.
you can't be pale. for many men these things take tremendous effort to build muscle, esp when you have genetic predispositions to be skinny, or you are light skinned and easily sun burnt. etc.

you must choose from limited hair style options.
etc.
the constant thoughts and rejections, both overt and covert.

hair loss falls squarely into the "trifecta" of doom for men, right with shortness or being overweight. your whole life is characterized by that one flaw . you have to compensate for it, but if you do people will chastise you for trying (compensation is frowned upon as insecurity).you can never win.
 

Brandles

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I'm bald, I'm skinny, I'm pale. I don't want a full head of hair (just some hair, I'd be happy for life with a heavily diffused NW5, which I have for now), I don't want to build muscle, I don't want to be tanned.

That's three major flaws in your book then. I don't face constant rejection. These three flaws, I see them as advantages, I really do. People telling me I should grow my hair back (yeah a lot of people are blind, they see 50 hairs on the top of my head, that means they can cover my entire scalp right!), become huge or get a tan can go to hell.

It may sound cliché, but you build your own reality. If you view yourself as crippled, you will be.

I've read your posts before and I remember you saying you were tall. that is a big point of difference. i bet you would change your attitude if you were a skinny, 120lb kid with a frail frame, there's only so much your confidence can take and often you borrow confidence from one area of your life and apply it to other areas, but what if you have no or little other good points about you? where does the confidence come from then?

or even if you were fat, your experiences in the world would change.. fat and bald is a death sentence socially speaking, so is being short and skinny and bald.
that's what my point is, the way society views things you have already "locked in" your allowance of acceptable flaws, if you have any more flaws you become an outcast.
as an average height man who started losing his hair, who was also skinny there was little in the way of physical attributes I could fall back on. I felt weak and unattractive. I was weak and unattractive. Fixing reality comes before fixing the mind. A sick reality will soon crush you, even if you build a strong mind.
 

aj218

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You also should add looks as you could be a tall, full headed, lean and muscly guy but you might get nowhere if you have a trainwreck of a face.....or look like a pedo.

It's sad how it can come down to the superficial stuff but hey it's how the animal kingdom seems to work too.

Out of the three being fat is the only one you can actually fully solve (currently). Who know, we may one day live in an age where a man can walk into a clinic as 5ft tall and walk out 6ft but that would require a crazy amount of researcj, solving male pattern baldness would be easier, much easier.

At the end of the day, we are who we are. It's what we do with our lives that may change everything for the better. If you have a great skill that can help others, you will only be looked at for that skill by the people who you've helped.
 

Unfollicled

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I've read your posts before and I remember you saying you were tall. that is a big point of difference. i bet you would change your attitude if you were a skinny, 120lb kid with a frail frame, there's only so much your confidence can take and often you borrow confidence from one area of your life and apply it to other areas, but what if you have no or little other good points about you? where does the confidence come from then?

or even if you were fat, your experiences in the world would change.. fat and bald is a death sentence socially speaking, so is being short and skinny and bald.
that's what my point is, the way society views things you have already "locked in" your allowance of acceptable flaws, if you have any more flaws you become an outcast.
as an average height man who started losing his hair, who was also skinny there was little in the way of physical attributes I could fall back on. I felt weak and unattractive. I was weak and unattractive. Fixing reality comes before fixing the mind. A sick reality will soon crush you, even if you build a strong mind.

I can see where you're coming from, but it does seem rather self-defeating to hold a set of negative views that apply to yourself. Life is so much more than a hand of cards and there are examples of successful people all around you that are a testament to that fact. These are the people you should be identifying with. Remember too that there are many folk who use such impediments as an excuse, but if the truth be known, they just lack the savvy, hair or no hair, tall or short, fat or thin. If you could come back in 25 years from now, you would still not find a definitive cure for baldness, so you may as well get used to it.
 

uncomfortable man

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So what does OP hope to accomplish by coming here and reinforcing hurtful social perceptions?
 

Brandles

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So what does OP hope to accomplish by coming here and reinforcing hurtful social perceptions?

what is say is immaterial to the wider problem of discrimination against bald people. If you want to fix the problem you have to change the system not the individual. I'm just a product of a wider mass called society. Albeit perhaps I am a little more blunt than normal, sorry if you prefer two faced liars who appease you in person then talk **** about you behind your back.

I'll be the first person to admit I do not like bald people. I don't like the way they look. I don't like the caricatures of disease and age they represent. I'm not spending handfuls of cash on potentially dangerous hormone altering drugs for nothing, you know?

The truth is i'm angry. I post here to vent, not to be constructive. My life, as it is, is filled with hurt caused by hair loss. I suffer just as you suffer.

It's places like this where we should be able to speak freely about this disease ( and yes it is a disease an organ of the body is dying). In my ordinary life I have to pretend to be a coy, impassive man who takes bigotry, against me, without resistance. Male hair loss is a joke to most people. The discrimination against me is not funny. Yet i am not able to say anything , least I be called "insecure" and "bitter". No mention about the true economic and social costs of hair loss.

You only have to look at this thread. As soon as a man complains about his hair loss, immediately people ascribe negative traits to him. I never said I was bitter. I never said I gave up on life, or that I had no education. yet people assume this is true. that I'm a loser. Much like the negative aura short men generate. There's no escape from the perception of failure and alienation.


I was watching this short documentary yesterday. It was about the mental side effects of hair loss. The protagonist said my thoughts so eloquently, the feeling of no being part of society. being different.

Documentary: I hate my bald head http://vimeo.com/6394691

And you may ask, "well you are not bald yet!" ( i am NW2/2.5). My answer to this is: exactly. I don't want to become bald. Which is why it is so stressful and hurtful seeing your hair fall out. The uncertainty. The mental anguish.
 

uncomfortable man

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Are bald mens souls less valuable than those who have hair? Are bald men not human then?
 

CaptainForehead

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VeprSuper

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They danced around it but the bald dude went 0-7 in the comments.

- - - Updated - - -

They danced around it but the bald dude went 0-7 in the comments.
 

DannyBoyy

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Someone in the link said 6,2 is to tall for her liking so does that mean we should sit here and think being that tall is bad? stupid right? just saying...
 

CaptainForehead

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She was just trying to justify her prefering men with hair. If the 6.2 dude was with hair, she would have chosen him
 

jasenwm

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There it is gentlemen...right from the horses mouth. Good thing I have a few of these features. I'm 5'5,170lbs. ,very handsome face, toned body not huge muscle wise. I make around 90K and I have been bald. I'm 37 and shaved my head for 10 years. I got my share of women with no problem with being bald but it is no question I had to work harder, only got women my age or older and know absolutly if I had a full head of hair I would have attracted many more women including the ones younger then me. Most women do like hair and almost ALL women in there 20's early 30's will not date a guy that is bald. I have a hair system now and it looks amazing. Let me tell you what a difference, people really treat you different when you have hair. What is worse, the people that have known me for years with a shaved head treat me diffrerent now that I have hair. I will never go back to being bald, maybe when I'm 60 or something but men younger then 60 are not suppose to be bald it is a DNA defect, it's jut not well...normal. I know some of you don't like the idea of a system but man it's worth it to me.
 

jasenwm

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False. I dated 9 different girls in 2013, while sporting a NW5. They were almost all in their twenties, two of them were even 19. My current girlfriend is in her early 30's and while she admits liking hair on a man, it's not a deal breaker. Talking in absolutes like you do is never good.

So no, not ALL young women will turn down a guy because he's bald. It's only your (wrong) view on reality.
You are also 24 years old,in the same age range as those women. You are not bald you are thinning and a NW5. I didn't say ALL women I said almost ALL. Besides your from Brussels not the United States, women here are different then women in Europe kid. Another thing,I'm taking about HOTT women not fat or average looking girls. If shes 19 and shes ok looking who cares?!
 

jasenwm

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I'm a NW5, diagnosed by three top surgeons. One even said I was NW5 going on 6.

Also, visibly balding is usually considered worse than slick bald.

Unfortunately for you, one of the girls was American. Half of them were hot and the other half were average.

I see plenty of (hot) girls dating bald guys on the street, at least in Brussels.

You're just trying to find excuses to justify your use of a hair piece.
Excuses? I wear a hair piece because I'm bald and think I look better with hair. That is it. I could just as well not wear one and shave my head like I have for the past 10 years. Some women like men who shave there head but I believe no women is not going to date a guy because he has hair but some women will NOT date a guy because he is bald. I read this thread because I like to read how hair loss has affected other men and like to give my insight that there are options and a hair piece is one of them. Some men take loosing there hair very hard and it affects there everyday lives. I didn't like losing my hair but I have a good shaped head and look good shaved bald but I prefer to have hair. You don't like hair pieces that is fine but I have read other comments to other people on here and it seems all you do is disagree with whatever anyone else is saying and try to correct people any chance you get. In my experance in America most women are superficial, looks matter and bald is not attractive. Not all women but the one I have met this is the case. About the one American women that you posted about,your not Ameican to of course she liked you. If you came to US women would be all over you because you are not from the U.S. Same if I went to Europe. Like I said your 24 you need to live a little bit more wait till your over 30 it's a whole different ball game.
 

DannyBoyy

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She was just trying to justify her prefering men with hair. If the 6.2 dude was with hair, she would have chosen him




Come on dude says who? is this what you do? assume this and that? i like to go by facts not assume.
 

swingline747

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I only post when I feel I really have something to add or when I see statements that seem wrong to me.

Maybe you're right, maybe it's that bad in the US, I've not travelled there yet.

My father has been wearing a piece since he was 18. He said he would do anything to prevent me from going that road.

I think that says it all. The negatives outweigh the positives by far in my opinion.


I always find the selfishness in people breeding when they know their genetics are faulty alarming. He wears a wig, he KNEW there was a big chance his kid would be dealing with this but STILL decided it was worth the risk.
Same with my parent.
Baldness, heart disease, diabetes, depression, among many other issues yet it finally took me and my brother to say enough. Why keep reproducing banes on society, its not helping anyone. To many mouths to feed already anyway.

At least he has a full thick head of hair. That piece of ****.
 

swingline747

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Even if I'm bald at 24, I'm very grateful to be here. You can't blame my father, he told himself what I'll probably tell myself when I'll have a kid:

"20 years from now, we'll have a cure". We're almost there, we have a lot more solutions for male pattern baldness than in the late 70's, when there was just the hair piece.

wish I could feel the same but I want to punch my old man when I see him and his dumb bald head.
 

uncomfortable man

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So you think that a bald man's soul is worth less than one with hair? I may be bald but I am still a ****ing human being with feelings so f u ck you.
 

CaptainForehead

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wish I could feel the same but I want to punch my old man when I see him and his dumb bald head.

Technically, baldness is not really a genetic flaw. If hairpieces were accepted by women to be as natural as shaving beards, or wearing contacts, we would have no problem.
Moreover, eliminating baldites from the world is not necessarily a good thing for the Human Race. Gene diversity is good. Who knows, HIV may mutate into a deadly highly infectious virus spread through air, to which only the NW6'ers are immune because of their genes :woot:
 
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