learning to accept my hair loss

[learning_to_accept]

i was one of those guys growing up that said, "i dont have to worry about MPH, because my dad, and my mothers dad, both have full heads of hair". my dad is 54 and doesnt look like he has lost a hair on his head yet, in fact it isnt even gray. when i was about 21, i had very long hair, and noticed that i had more hairs on my pillow, as i thought that it was just due to me having longer hair, but now that i look back, it was definitely the start of my hair loss. it hasnt been slow, even though my friends and family say it has ( i am now 26 and pretty thin). anyway, i had many of the same social and anxiety problems that many other ppl on this site have had, and thats obviously a major problem. the other thing i have anxiety about is that fact that when i was young i was in a pretty bad accident that left me with a scar from my right ear that runs around the front of my hairline to my temple by my above my left ear. i really just want to accept my thinning hair and trim my hear short. the one time i have done that i got soooo many questions about "what happened" and even though people ask because they care, that gets very old. i am also in a profession where i have to talk infront of a lot of people, so that caused some nervousness and anxiety. i am not embarassed of my scar, but with the thinning hair and my scar together it can look a little wierd for people to see. luckily i have great support from my fiance. i have tried some natural cures, and i have also tried nioxin supplements, i wasnt very faithful to them as my skin is pretty sensitive and i didnt like the way my scalp felt, and i really felt like they werent helping much when i was. i have recently began propecia and i have dedicated myself for a year. but then its over, i am done trying, i have to accept it and move on with my life, there are way too many important things for me to focus on, and there are too many people in this world who have a lot worse things to worry about other than hair loss. i am lucky God has blessed me the way he has. Thank you for listening, this is a great website. Philippians 4:13

 

[learning_to_accept]

is there anyone out there that reads this and wants to reply, or is this forum only for bitching and whining about how not to accept our hair loss. i dont want to be hand cuffed by many of the things ppl on here are hand cuffed by: for example taking 5 supplements orally in the morning and at night, and rubbing stuff on my scalp, and making sure i have the right shampoo and only use it so often, and busting open pills and rubbing them on my scalp. this all sounds crazy to me, and half the stuff people are mixing together sounds dangerous, and how the hell do you all have time for that sh*t, you must wake up an hour early every a.m. to do this. i am scared enough the way it is just taking propecia, i want my dick to work, i want to have kids, thats what life is about. i am obviously not near as educated as most the people on here about the different ingredients you have been digesting and throwing on your scalps, but at some point dont we just have to accept it. one more thing, this hair loss thing definitely had me down for a long time, i was depressed no doubt about it, but the thought of SUICIDE NEVER ONCE CROSSED MY MIND. that is absurd and selfish to think that way and i have heard people on here talk about that, what the hell. we are all men, i have the same problems you all have, with a scar from ear to ear, and it sucks, but what are we thinking by risking other aspects of LIFE to have HAIR!! is it really worth it?

 

[IBM]

Its called love. I'm always thinking about my hair. As long as i dont lose my male identity, which of course is also precious, i do the best i can for my hair.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

You have an intelliegent outlook on life, well done.

A lot of the posters on this site suffer from mental problems as well as just their hairloss, so that's why you'll see a lot of over the top posts about suicide and how shitty life is.

Also bear in mind, you have a fiance and a job. A lot of posters on this board aren't gifted with such luxuries. You yourself may feel different about your hairloss if you were single and the girls you went out on dates with were rejecting you because of your thinning hair.

 

[learning_to_accept]

i completely understand, but i had thining hair as i was getting my job and as i was meeting my finace, and i understand people want to do their best for their hair, i am the same way. but i just got sick of thinking about it all the time, and i dont want to be hand cuffed. you cant let this affect what you are on this planet to do. and a lot of people on here have great support from others.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

This post comes off as "preaching". I mean it's good that you want to learn to accept it but don't take shots at others for their situation. You have a fiance and a career. Many don't. You also are thinning and not bald, big difference.

But good luck, I hope it works out well for you.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

i completely understand, but i had thining hair as i was getting my job and as i was meeting my finace, and i understand people want to do their best for their hair, i am the same way. but i just got sick of thinking about it all the time, and i dont want to be hand cuffed. you cant let this affect what you are on this planet to do. and a lot of people on here have great support from others.

It's very true. A lot of people do completely over-react. I would prefer not to be going bald too, but at the end of the day, it's only hair. We all grow old and lose our looks anyway.
I'd much rather be slick bald than be dying of cancer, paralyzed, having downs syndrome, etc. I may not have hair, but I still have a healthy body and a healthy mind.

Unfortunately not everyone sees it this way. The 21st Century is a time in the history of man when it's incredibly important to look good. Some men see their hair leaving their head and imagine their life is as good as over. Sad but true. However, in my experience, the men who get the most depressed about their hairloss are the shallow types who, in their youth, spent all their time cruising bars and clubs and banging any drunk, hot chick they could score and now when they find their youthful looks are fading, suddenly realise they have no other skills or positive personality traits to fall back on.

 

[learning_to_accept]

hat prisoner, i am not preaching, i am just dealing with these things in my own way, but let me ask you, what are the reasons why people dont have carrers, or dont have a fiance, i sure as hell hope it isnt becasue of their hair loss. this isnt a life stopper, is it tough? yes definitely, but i have friends who have lost brothers and sisters, moms and dads, there is a war going on right now, whether right or wrong, people are dying, there was an earthquake in china that killed 20,000 ppl. and i am worried about losing my hair? this is the way i will look at it from now on whether you view it as preaching or not, it is the facts. we still have healthy hearts, and hopefully everyone is taking care of themselves, we still breathe! i am trying to not be vain.

 

[ghg]

Don't talk to hatprisoner91 about common sense. He's NW6!

 

[HatPrisoner91]

GHG, you can joke about it NOW. But I also know that some of the Norwood 2 complainers wouldn't be here if they were a Norwood 6. They would have shot themselves by now. If you complain about being a Norwood 2, then it's not gonna get any better later.

A NW2, shouldn't even be bothered by hairloss.

 

[IBM]

A NW2, shouldn't even be bothered by hairloss.

Why? A NW2 will get to NW6. If its fast or if its slow we dont know but it will get will get and thats the scary thing. Not even cutting the balls will save us from get balding.

 

[Avery]

A NW2, shouldn't even be bothered by hairloss.

Ya, that's bullshit.

 

[ghg]

GHG, you can joke about it NOW. But I also know that some of the Norwood 2 complainers wouldn't be here if they were a Norwood 6. They would have shot themselves by now. If you complain about being a Norwood 2, then it's not gonna get any better later.

A NW2, shouldn't even be bothered by hairloss.

I'm not a NW2, I'm a diffuse thinner in NW5-NW6 scale. And no, I'm probably not gonna shoot myself when I reach NW5-6. I'll probably learn to deal better with baldness as time goes by. There's been a huge improvement already in 2 years. If I don't feel comfortable about going bald in my early-mid 20's, that doesn't mean that I'll feel worse about it when I'm closer to 30 and bald. There's something terribly wrong with the way you see yourself and handle the emotions related to balding if it gets worse all the time.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

To be honest, I think a NW6 looks far better than a NW3 or 4 or extreme diffuse thinning.

Men with NW3 - 4 still try and hide their hairloss through various techniques and stupid hairstyles, where as a NW6 will have more or less come to terms with their hairloss and just shave their hair right down. There has to be something quite liberating in that. Most men with shaved NW6's look quite dignified as far as I'm concerned.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Why? A NW2 will get to NW6. If its fast or if its slow we dont know but it will get will get and thats the scary thing. Not even cutting the balls will save us from get balding.

1) You don't know that. And you might get there in your 50's for all you know. Some stay at the Norwood 2 to Norwood 3 range even when older. I see that all the time. Very common!

2) The point is that people who aren't one always seem to say that being a Norwood 6 is "better" as you have accepted it. It's easy to say when you aren't going through it. If your missing fingers, you hate it. But compare it to losing your entire arm. There are levels with this thing. My point is if someone is a Norwood 2 and already freaking out and posting here a ton, when it gets worse, they are probably gonna shoot themselves.

 

[ghg]

Good comparison, hatprisoner91. I actually am missing 1 finger, been so almost my entire life. When I was 4 one of my thumbs had to be surgered off because it didn't develop properly. I'd much rather have 10 fingers than hair.

2) The point is that people who aren't one always seem to say that being a Norwood 6 is "better" as you have accepted it. It's easy to say when you aren't going through it. If your missing fingers, you hate it. But compare it to losing your entire arm. There are levels with this thing. My point is if someone is a Norwood 2 and already freaking out and posting here a ton, when it gets worse, they are probably gonna shoot themselves.

Like some of us stated before, you're so wrong.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

IF/when you are a NW6, we shall see if you feel the same or better about it.