My husband is losing his hair

[dancer125]

Hi, I am newly married but I have been with by husband for seven years now....throughout college and into the beginning of our careers...we talk about everything....However, one area that he is SO sensitive is his balding hair....in fact one day he came over to my place at the time with a hairpiece from Hairclub for Men on ....he didn't even ask or tell me before he did it...he just did it...and I hated it....so it finally got to the point where I said you Must take that thing off before the wedding and he did after I cried about it.......and he got mad...he is very defensive and never wants to talk about this issue......we talk about everything but he can't seem to talk to me about this...still to this day......why? Oh yeah, my latest issue is that I was cleaning his bathroom and saw some DermMatch product...should I ask him about this or just keep quiet?


Why can't he understand that I love him for who he is.....no matter what he looks like...he is so self conscious......
It also kind of makes me mad....my mom had cancer and lost her hair without her choosing....and she didn't get upset about it....why does he have to act this way?

 

[Guest]

He acts that way because he feels that way

 

[Axon]

It's tough on our mental health. That's our mane.

It's more about him than you. It has little to do with you or how you percieve him.

 

[dancer125]

Please reply

Please someone help me....and reply

 

[elguapo]

Was he losing his hair when you met him?

Is he a really good looking guy, who "cherishes" his looks?

 

[Matgallis]

It's tough on our mental health. That's our mane.

It's more about him than you. It has little to do with you or how you percieve him.

Hmm for some reason I think this is the opposite. You'd think he'd care more about what she thnks than anyone on this earth...

He is probaly just really angry and frustrated. I bet he is often questioning himself on why he is losing his hair. He probaly feels like his youth is being stolen away from him (a lot of us feel this way). Since you are a woman most likely not expericing hairloss, he feels as though you wouldn't understand and really you can't.

Your best bet is to be very supportive of him at this point. Try sitting him down and asking him why it bugs him and reassure him that you will be there to battle this till your last breath. Tell him you'll love him with or without hair...

Just my .2 cents

 

[dancer125]

DermMatch

Should I ask him about the DermMatch that I saw...or just let it go.....

 

[smudge]

Re: DermMatch

Should I ask him about the DermMatch that I saw...or just let it go.....

Dermatch is a cover up. If he didn't like talking about his wig, I doubt he'd enjoy a convo about dermatch.

 

[dancer125]

DermMatch

Is DermMatch like makeup or a wig? Why did he not tell me he was using it?

 

[Brasileirao]

Look, he probably had a good head of hair and the thought of lossing it has put him into panic. He probably has some insecurites, like we all do, and perhaps feels like you may leave him for his lack of hair. I would suggest having a talk with him, tell him what you found and let him know how you feel. He needs to talk about it, its the only way to make him feel more at ease.

How old is he anyways?

Tony

 

[Cassin]

Re: DermMatch

Why did he not tell me he was using it?

It sounds like he is just trying to figure things out. It's a very personal decision he is making, give him space. Let him decide what he wants to do with his hair, it's up to you to support him or not.

 

[elguapo]

See, if he only realized that he is losing his hair now, and he is really good looking, and "knows" it, he might think that you like him for his good looks, and that now that he is "losing his looks", you won't like him.

This is just my opinion.

I also think that you have to be quite far in the balding process to think "okay, I'm losing my hair, and there is no cure, so I just have to accept it, versus fight it". I have two good friends who are further than I am. One is way bald, and he's in his early 30s. But he's a great guy, and he knows that his friends and wife love him for who he is. He's not down about hair loss, probably because he has no chance of fighting it, and went strong into the "acceptance phase". The other guy is going faster each yea, but still gels his hair and combs it to hid his balding areas. He talks about it, and he's married and confident, but you can tell he's still hiding it, still "fighting", if you will.

I think the better looking you are, hte more you rely on your looks, or rather, the more importance you place on your looks.

 

[Brasileirao]

Re: DermMatch

Why did he not tell me he was using it?

It sounds like he is just trying to figure things out. It's a very personal decision he is making, give him space. Let him decide what he wants to do with his hair, it's up to you to support him or not.

I think her support would be to talk to him about it. It sounds like he has been dealing with this for sometime. It needs to be out in the open.

 

[Pirate Commander F.B.]

Finasteride

Minoxidil

Nizoral shampoo

The answer to all of life's problems!

 

[Axon]

It's tough on our mental health. That's our mane.

It's more about him than you. It has little to do with you or how you percieve him.

Hmm for some reason I think this is the opposite. You'd think he'd care more about what she thnks than anyone on this earth...

He is probaly just really angry and frustrated. I bet he is often questioning himself on why he is losing his hair. He probaly feels like his youth is being stolen away from him (a lot of us feel this way). Since you are a woman most likely not expericing hairloss, he feels as though you wouldn't understand and really you can't.

Your best bet is to be very supportive of him at this point. Try sitting him down and asking him why it bugs him and reassure him that you will be there to battle this till your last breath. Tell him you'll love him with or without hair...

Just my .2 cents

For me, it's all about my own looks and confidence. My girl and I have been together for two years now; she loves me, doesn't care how I look.

I could give a f***.

It's all how I'm percieved by other women and how I percieve myself. It doesn't make me feel old, it makes me feel flawed. I'm not trying to score with other women, I just want to know I can. I don't want to look in the mirror and see a bald head. I know I'm not alone in this, either.

He hides the treatments because he's embarassed. Please...

 

[scud666]

its bloody obvious

its ironic... u're probably too self wrapped in YOUR OWN world to realzie this. you are NOT the only person your husband sees. he has to face his family, co-workers, clients, friends, relatives, etc. so u're thinking he's being too superficial with his looks. ironically, you are the one with the superficial thought that YOU are the ONLY person your husband cares about. i'm sure he loves you nd all, but come on, he most liekely has a job and spends 8-9 hours with his co-workers. why would it surprise you that he wants respect from them?

first impressions are important. people will remember you from your most prominent characteristic. and most of the time its from physical appearances. would you want people to refer your husband in their minds as the "bald guy?" if he wasn't bald, people might look deeper in him and refer him as perharps "the guy who drives the '88 Mustang." its not a great compliment, but at least its neutral, vs bald being negative.

its a trap. unless he has an even stronger/more prominent characteristic, he'll most likely be labbeled as the "bald guy." and it is human nature to look in the negative side, so unless he has a missing arm or obese, he will be labelled with his most prominent physical trait. but again, it lose/lose. would yo want to be labelled as the fat or handicapped dude (when i mean labelled, i don't mean name calling. i mean psychological referring. when we think of someone we immediately have an image of the person being referred. and most of the time, we remember his most prominent feature). its sad, but thats the way it is. i employed a new product manager and he's only 30 and the only thing racing in my mind when i talk to him is "He's BALDING!" i know it ain't right. and this is coming from a guy who's losing his hair! imagine what the other superficial, non-hair-losing folks will think! they are 10xmore superficial.

this is the way humans are. attractive ppl will preval in the gene pool. they will get better jobs in general and be treted better. why god made it liek this, i don't know cause its one thing we have so little control of.

and think of it in your terms. now that u're married, would you start eating like a pig and not care about how you look? most likely not. u still meet alot of people outside even if you're not trying to develop a sexual relationship.

so unless your husband is SUPER nice or smart, he'll be labelled with a negative trait for the rest of his life. you see how large it his is to him (and us)?

 

[Guest]

Why can't he understand that I love him for who he is.....no matter what he looks like...he is so self conscious......
It also kind of makes me mad....my mom had cancer and lost her hair without her choosing....and she didn't get upset about it....why does he have to act this way?

Hi dancer125

First up I hope I am not speaking 'out of place' here in reference to your mother passing away, but feel there are some points to be made here and I hope I do not cause offense.

I suspect that when you lost your mother, you did not abandon your foundations, your lipsticks, your eye shadows, mascara and so on, I also suspect your personal hygine did not take a nose dive or your hair was not allowed to go astray. Your husband obviously cares how he is perceivied by the world, you may be happy to see him lose his hair and put on a few pounds, It sounds like he is not. I feel it is wrong to connect the loss of your mother with your husbands perceived vanity.

Why did he not tell me he was using it?

It's not like you have found a link between your husband, the Afghanistan war lords, and a plot to invade the US, you have found a cosmetic.

At what stage is his hair loss?

How old is he?


cheers

Ty

 

[Rawbbie]

see.. and now Dancer doesn't reply even though 'she' was desperately looking for help...

Am I the only one who honestly believes that a large portion of these 'newbies' that seem to come here all the time are just regulars trying to pull everyone's chains?

And believe me I mean no harm and am absolutely not trying to stir dirt up again, but i truly, truly think that there are select users in here, past or present ones, who get their kicks and rocks off by logging on as new users all the time and just posting nonsense to get everyone else stirred up. This again, is a thread that I just don't buy. And if it's legit, then hey, I'm wrong, but I have a habit of viewing all new messages with both eyes open..

 

[binoculars]

Am I the only one who honestly believes that a large portion of these 'newbies' that seem to come here all the time are just regulars trying to pull everyone's chains?

Hello Rawbbie,

Yes there is a good chance that you are only one of two people that visit this website, everyone else, Cassin, gourmetstylewellness.com, Deaner, Bartman654, Axon, Zimmy and so on are all the same person logging in as different posters.

There was one point in 2002 when we had 4 users, now it's just you and us.


Be Wise

Stay Focused

Look Sharp


Binoculars

 

[hair mchair]

Yes there is a good chance that you are only one of two people that visit this website, everyone else, Cassin, gourmetstylewellness.com, Deaner, Bartman654, Axon, Zimmy and so on are all the same person logging in as different posters.

I am Zimmy, Axon, and Tynan. I might be Mr. Telogen too but I don't remember.