Reading this forum has made me dysphoric again

KevinEdEddEddy

KevinEdEddEddy

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f*** YOU f*** YOU f*** YOU ALL YOU wh*** c*** wh*** b****s wh*** SUCKER w****s MOTHERFUCKER SUCKING w****s ONCE AGAIN I AM REPULSED BY MY OWN FLESH I AM f*****g MAD FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED PEOPLE WILL OUTCAST ME THEY WILL COMMENT ON MY BALDING VERY BRUTALLY I HAVE ONLY 1 YEAR LEFT BEFORE I AM NW7 I HATE THAT wh*** b**ch c*** SRAKA LIFE FUUUUUUUUCK PEOPLE WILL TRY TO GET AWAY FROM ME I WILL ALWAYS BE REPULSIVE IF I SHAVE MY HEAD TO THE BONE THE HORSESHOE PATTERN WILL STILL BE VISIBLE I HATE MY GENETICS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE I WILL NEVER BE A NORMAL PERSON I AM JUST A wh*** c*** b**ch wh*** FREAK IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE
 
justinbieberscombover

justinbieberscombover

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I recommend EMDR therapy


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disfiguredyoungman

disfiguredyoungman

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KevinEdEddEddy said:
f*** YOU f*** YOU f*** YOU ALL YOU wh*** c*** wh*** b****s wh*** SUCKER w****s MOTHERFUCKER SUCKING w****s ONCE AGAIN I AM REPULSED BY MY OWN FLESH I AM f*****g MAD FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED PEOPLE WILL OUTCAST ME THEY WILL COMMENT ON MY BALDING VERY BRUTALLY I HAVE ONLY 1 YEAR LEFT BEFORE I AM NW7 I HATE THAT wh*** b**ch c*** SRAKA LIFE FUUUUUUUUCK PEOPLE WILL TRY TO GET AWAY FROM ME I WILL ALWAYS BE REPULSIVE IF I SHAVE MY HEAD TO THE BONE THE HORSESHOE PATTERN WILL STILL BE VISIBLE I HATE MY GENETICS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE I WILL NEVER BE A NORMAL PERSON I AM JUST A wh*** c*** b**ch wh*** FREAK IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE
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AAHHHH I STOOD AGHAST AT THE PERVERTED REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, HANDS TURNED TO SLIMY WEBBED APPENDAGES SECRETING A FOUL SMELLING OILY SUBSTANCE STAINING THE CARPET. EYES SHRIVELLED TO LIZARD-LIKE HUSKS MY HEAD BALD AND SLIMY AS THE MONSTROUS PATE OF MY FISH-LIKE ANCESTORS. AHHHHHH I AM GOING INSAMEEE....NROORRFHH CTHULLU FTHAGNNN

WHY WON'T YOU HELP MEEE NIGGAMAN YOU USELESS CAT

#lovecraftmoment
 
KevinEdEddEddy

KevinEdEddEddy

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justinbieberscombover said:
I recommend EMDR therapy


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Yeah I am trying my best but it's very hard to cope with my situation. Not only I am losing hair VERY RAPIDLY, but also most career paths are closed to me because of my psych ward papers, so I have a severe risk of uneployment. I am useless because I am autistic and I am useless because my eyes f*****g hurt everytime I use my computer. I am useless because my trauma from psych ward haunts me every time I drank socially with my friends and everytime I see someone who resembles my dead friends. My actions have consequences and they are coming to me from the past only to disturb my present and future. I cannot move them to past and work them out because they keep coming back and will never leave me. I am worthless in society, but I am too proud to tell this to people.
 
F

Feelsbadman

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KevinEdEddEddy said:
Yeah I am trying my best but it's very hard to cope with my situation. Not only I am losing hair VERY RAPIDLY, but also most career paths are closed to me because of my psych ward papers, so I have a severe risk of uneployment. I am useless because I am autistic and I am useless because my eyes f*****g hurt everytime I use my computer. I am useless because my trauma from psych ward haunts me every time I drank socially with my friends and everytime I see someone who resembles my dead friends. My actions have consequences and they are coming to me from the past only to disturb my present and future. I cannot move them to past and work them out because they keep coming back and will never leave me. I am worthless in society, but I am too proud to tell this to people.
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Skimming over that image it seems that trauma/not feeling good enough is a major issue
and you're meant to be able to over come it using those techniques
but the problem with that... is that if your'e not good enough because you're ugly and bald then how will doing those coping things change the outcome of your reality?
 
KevinEdEddEddy

KevinEdEddEddy

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Feelsbadman said:
Skimming over that image it seems that trauma/not feeling good enough is a major issue
and you're meant to be able to over come it using those techniques
but the problem with that... is that if your'e not good enough because you're ugly and bald then how will doing those coping things change the outcome of your reality?
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As I said, I am crushed both by NW5 hairloss that was supposed to happen when I am 27 and being mentally disturbed. Even without hairloss I will be most likely unemployed and poor, perhaps even disabled if I lose my sight. I was denied being a normal person since I was born, I will never fit into society, I will never marry and will never be productive. I quit all my activities because I feel like my flesh and soul is rotting. I see my friends partying and while on the same party, it's like looking through glass. Normal human life is just unavailable for me in every possible aspect. Now with losing my hair too fast, it's just my physical form finally matches my wrecked soul and mind. It never began for me
 
KevinEdEddEddy

KevinEdEddEddy

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justinbieberscombover said:
EMDR has helped me a lot.

For example, I had a traumatic bullying experience from middle school that haunted me for years.

Now it's just a memory.
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I think the thing that really helps people in therapy is getting to know what you REALLY feel and most of the time when you get to that, you can work yourself out, assess if it has any effect on your life NOW, and archive memories which haunted you. But hey, you made solid progress if you worked out your traumas. Kudos to you
 
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