So you think you have it bad?

[baldguy28]

Take a look at what I have going on right now....


1. I'm 28 and losing my hair with no girlfriend ever in my life and no friends because my two good friends got married and moved out of state less than a year ago. I've been losing mine since age 19 and women have rarely ever given me the time of day.

2. Unemployed for 6 months despite being college educated, persistent in using all avenues that I can to find a job and I'm living at home because I'm basically broke.

3. I have a cocky 20 year old brother who is already 6 inches taller than me and has a good head of hair. He has no problems attracting women and has many friends and has told me : "If you need any advice on women, just ask me. You can't attract women because of your per- sonality". My personality is no different than his in that we are both on the laid back side and like sports, women and rock/metal music. I also have 2 cousins around my same age that I have to see at every family get-together who are of course successful with women and have many friends mainly because they are tall with full heads of hair. My family tells me that I should be more "ambitious" and a "go-getter" and maybe I wouldn't be a loser.

4. My father who is Ukrainian and has been a dick to me my whole life and who I inherited this sh*t from is dying of cancer. He was almost completely bald long before he was even diagnosed and wears coke bottle glasses. My eyesight has also been getting worse so it looks like I'm headed down the same path. He constantly calls me a failure when if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be dealing with this since nobody on my mother's side of the family is bald and all of the males on his side of the family are bald and a couple wear toupees. I tried that option briefly at 22 but couldn't get used to wearing one and the maintenance time to apply it was ridiculous.


Now tell me you wouldn't be thinking about suicide after hearing all of that and that God didn't deal me one of the most f*cked up hands you've ever seen? But I'm strong and to me, suicide is just the easy way out of life so I keep battling but I feel like I'm going to just completely break down if I haven't already.

 

[maintainence1]

I know it hard, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. If you go into situations with such a negative attitude you predispose yourself to failure. Good luck dude.

 

[hairschmair]

That is a bit shite indeed.

My suggestions:

1) Sign up to a dating website and you'll find bucket loads of women who, while not gorgeous, you will really enjoy dating.

2) Double the time you spend each day on the little things that do make you feel good (sports, music, movies, whatever it is in your case)

Good Luck friend!

 

[baldguy28]

[I know it hard, but feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. If you go into situations with such a negative attitude you predispose yourself to failure. Good luck dude]

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just needed a place to let everything out. I wouldn't be surprised though if the way that I look (5'8", balding, babyfaced) is affecting me getting a decent job too though.

 

[VWdude]

Hey I read you post and I wanted to say that at times I feel like you do... i'm 22 years old and when i was 17 i started loosing it.. i used to have such thick hair, it was so spiked up in different ways you name it... now its flat and thin....... i was in denial for the most part and if i started the treatments earlier i probably would have not made it this far into my recession ... my hair is thining... but let me tell you... I have the hottest girlfriend.. a really nice car... my job is sh*t i work in some warehouse but hey its money... and it bugs me just as it bugs you. my brother who is 15 has thick long hair.... he likes posing infront of the mirror and says sh*t to try to make me jealous like "my follicles are all flourishing in glory" and it makes me feel like crap... When I look in the mirror, i see the same guy i always did... and my mom says "oh i love my kids if they are bald, hairy or whatever" i know it's just a mom saying that but it made me feel good. My older brother is 25 and he's half bald.... and i guess he got dealt that same cards as me... weird how life tends to do that to you eh? and when i look at the majority of the people in my family... they have so much hair...where did I go wrong? I figure that I am not going to stop doing what I do because of this, i'm going to fight it.... i'm not going to be just another bald guy... Propecia seems to be working with me so im wearing a hat on and off and i keep my hair short because it looks better.. My girlfriend told me that she will love me no matter what and that meant the world to me..... and that means even if i was bald (but i'm going beat male pattern baldness) AND I KNOW IT.... before I came into terms with it, i couldnt sleep at night... i was crying... i would look at my hair constantly...count how many fell out it was a mess and i don't wish the same upon anyone because its a disease...like a mental disorder..when your hair falls out its like your confidence goes to ZERO. Remember, only shallow people will make the occasional comment... but what do they mean to you? sh*t on a stick... do you think a person with a full head of hair is perfect? they got their own problems to worry about... just because some people don't go bald it doesnt mean they life such an amazing life.... no way! my friend who has a full head of hair can't even touch me in the amount of girls i get compared to him... and he knows it... You have to get a grip of yourself and see the good in you.... ask youself who you are and how you are going to overcome your obstacles. Your right suicide is the easy way out but it's a shame to even think that... there are alot of other people out there who wish that going bald was the only thing they would have to deal with. For what it's worth, try propecia i don't know if you have or not yet... or if you have 5 grand and nothing to do with it consider getting a hair transplant... nobody wants to wear a rug on their head right! and dude don't worry... for the love of god, you are no different when you had a full head of hair...

 

[lossing my hair]

baldguy28, i know your situation for you is hard, but believe me others have it worst. you have to work with what you got. theres not other way. the way your thinking is what has you without friends and a girl friend. there are friends and girls for everyone. for some people it's harder but it's possible. i know everyone is different and what maybe is suicidal for you isn't for me, but what has you down are more your thoughts and your hopelessness. your experiencing depression and anxiety. 5'8 is average. most girls are 5'2 to 5'6. if your lossing your hair propecia and hair transplant with a good reputation doctor will make a difference. remeber work with what you got. if it's impossible for you to overcome your situation alone seek for professional help. it worked for me. especially cognitive behavioral therapy.

 

[Greg1]

baldguy28, wow dude, you do have a rough hand! But I hate to say it there is still someone who has it worse than you do. You see, the guys that you might think have it all together and even have the thick and awesome hair may be struggling with stuff that you would have no idea about. I think that you've done the right thing by posting here and letting us know your plight but don't stop there. Take this time in your life as an opportunity to learn about yourself. Seriously! I'm sure that you're already finding out what really makes you mad, happy, sad etc. To be honest with you, this kind of knowledge too many folks just don't have the chance in life to find out. "To thine ownself be true" is what a famous playrite has said and it's absolutely true. Dude, "Seize the Day!"

 

[Brasileirao]

Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

 

[YoungAndThin]

Hey I read your post. I'm sorry to hear about that man.
Don't give up. Get a good job, earn that money and get the world's best hair transplant.

Don't worry about your brother either. People tend to get what's coming to them. I had this guy who for the last 2 months has been making fun of me because of my hair loss. And guess who's starting to lose his hair even more rapidly now? YUP that guy.

 

[kamui]

Wow that is fuked up... I really feel for ya... If I was rich I would give you and everyone a free hair transplant.

Seriously, nobody should suffer from hairloss. I see losing my hair is the same as losing a nose, an eye, or my lips. It's a part of who we are.

I am like you. I will only live once, I don't want to be cheated.

 

[Johnny24601]

re:

All a woman wants is some attention. I know that you are not going out and showing your face around. I promise that if you ask ten women out, at a minimum, one will say yes. Just because you are vain and are constantly obsessing over you appearance does not mean woman are. Every human being has value and yiu must realize that there are millions of woman who are at home having the same depressed thoughts as you and asking themselves why no guys (like you ) are asking them out. The tough part is having the guts to go up and talk to them.
On a side note, mentioning the word suicide is totally irresponsable and though I feel for you and understand where you are coming from, there are so many other options in life and suicide is never one. It is purely a selfish act.
You should also do some charity work to gain some perspective about your life. I work with blind, deaf and handicapped people and it makes you realize that others deal with much worse then hairloss. Some of these people I work with are ten times the human being that I am even though they have been handed an absolutely bullshit hand from god.
You just need a few positive things to get you rolling.
The online dating thing sounds like a great idea for you.

 

[baldguy28]

re:

Well unfortunately appearance also affects getting a good job as well so that is another main reason why I'm worried about what I look like. Not only am I balding but I'm only 5'8" with a lighter complexion, the prescription in my left eye has worsened two levels in the past 6 months & I'm forced to wear glasses and "babyfaced" on top of it with the goofy last name "Melnyk" (though that is the last of my problems). It irritates the hell out of me because I know who I am on the inside and I know what I'm capable of but lose out because of my sh*t gene pool so I'm labeled as less ambitious etc than other people though I'm giving it my all.

 

[Trent]

Its getting nicer out so you won't be pale anymore (provided you don't live in alaska); get contacts so you don't have to worry about your glasses, get on some treatments and start running. by the time you get in shape your hair will be improving from the treatments, and then hunt your *** off for a good job and finally get settled in (say three years) i bet Hair multiplication will be out, then you can fill in the gaps and laugh at how great your life is.

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Your mother thinks you're a loser and your father says you're a failure? You brother sounds arrogrant. If I were you, I'd do whatever it took to get away from your family. Move to another area and start a new life. Only talk to them by phone, and only once a month... on Sunday nights. :lol:

Start over, away from negative influences. I know it's hard to do somthing like this, but I did it late in life, when I was in my late 30's.

You need to mature quickly, and KNOW that your 'ego' has it's own agenda. It wants to be special and recognized. It always wants more, and can never truly be satisfied for long.

But that's just superficial. Getting away from your mind-chatter, and ego is the hardest thing to do in life. But it can be done, and all you have to do is learn to live in the NOW.

 

[Trent]

I think he said his father isn't doing well, so probably not the best idea to abandon the family. But seriously man, everyone here understands your pain. There's days that I didn't even want to live. That seems so stupid over some goddamn hair strands, but i'm not gonna lie and say i didn't think about it. But hairloss is just a grieving process you have to go through, and help is on the way, like i said before, this HM is the real deal in my opinion. It will be here very soon, and male pattern baldness will be something you talk about getting over like it was the flu. But for now, think about how much courage it would take to pick yourself up, and just start over with a new attitude and vigor for life; that kind of behavior DEMANDS respect, from anyone, including your not-so-supporting family. f*** everyone else, this is about you, and your life.

 

[lossing my hair]

Re: re:

Well unfortunately appearance also affects getting a good job as well so that is another main reason why I'm worried about what I look like. Not only am I balding but I'm only 5'8" with a lighter complexion, the prescription in my left eye has worsened two levels in the past 6 months & I'm forced to wear glasses and "babyfaced" on top of it with the goofy last name "Melnyk" (though that is the last of my problems). It irritates the hell out of me because I know who I am on the inside and I know what I'm capable of but lose out because of my sh*t gene pool so I'm labeled as less ambitious etc than other people though I'm giving it my all.

once again there you go with the negative thoughts. it's just making things worst. unless your thinking about being a model your height isn't going to make things harder to get a job. it's your education that counts. i seen shorter and bald guys with successful careers. but they bust their *** for it. nothing in life is easy or comes to you. one has to work for it. if having glasses kills your confidedence get contacts and in the future a eye laser surgery. about the babyface girls love it. in fact it makes you look younger. i know because i have a baby face and i always had girls complemeting it. the truth is you could make a big difference with your life. but it takes you to make it. nothing comes easy. work with what you've got and build. don't make things harder. goodluck

 

[Wezz]

im not that bad


17 and never had g/f


sorry bro, keep ur head up and im sure u will find some nice gal

 

[Glapots]

Take a look at what I have going on right now....


1. I'm 28 and losing my hair with no girlfriend ever in my life and no friends because my two good friends got married and moved out of state less than a year ago. I've been losing mine since age 19 and women have rarely ever given me the time of day.

2. Unemployed for 6 months despite being college educated, persistent in using all avenues that I can to find a job and I'm living at home because I'm basically broke.

3. I have a cocky 20 year old brother who is already 6 inches taller than me and has a good head of hair. He has no problems attracting women and has many friends and has told me : "If you need any advice on women, just ask me. You can't attract women because of your per- sonality". My personality is no different than his in that we are both on the laid back side and like sports, women and rock/metal music. I also have 2 cousins around my same age that I have to see at every family get-together who are of course successful with women and have many friends mainly because they are tall with full heads of hair. My family tells me that I should be more "ambitious" and a "go-getter" and maybe I wouldn't be a loser.

4. My father who is Ukrainian and has been a dick to me my whole life and who I inherited this sh*t from is dying of cancer. He was almost completely bald long before he was even diagnosed and wears coke bottle glasses. My eyesight has also been getting worse so it looks like I'm headed down the same path. He constantly calls me a failure when if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be dealing with this since nobody on my mother's side of the family is bald and all of the males on his side of the family are bald and a couple wear toupees. I tried that option briefly at 22 but couldn't get used to wearing one and the maintenance time to apply it was ridiculous.


Now tell me you wouldn't be thinking about suicide after hearing all of that and that God didn't deal me one of the most f*cked up hands you've ever seen? But I'm strong and to me, suicide is just the easy way out of life so I keep battling but I feel like I'm going to just completely break down if I haven't already.

Hey, I actually know how you feel. I'm 29 - losing my hair, no girlfriend and little confidence and unemployed too. However I have decided to make the change. I've became obsessive about losing my hair and it dominated my life. But one day I woke up and decided to give myself a break by stop being negative about my hair loss. I told myself 'so what, it's only hair. i now wear a tight hair cut and I feel more confident. I've come to realise that women don't really go for looks they go fro postive guys. So you've go to be positve - be less self concsious about your hair - that's what I did and I feel more betetr about it now. it may take tiem ut you will come out the other side feeling better. Because at the end of the day you are worth as much as anyone else on this planet - remember that! Good luck!

 

[everysixseconds]

me neither!

actually though, my meds have tamed my sex drive and dont ever wanna have kids so - who needs women! and plus i can never be myself around women (this has always been the case)

be free!

i just concentrate on making the best out the male freinds i do have! we have such a laugh!! these guys respect me and enjoy my company, and i rarely spend time home. you only live once, make the most of it. every minute you spend depressing yourself over this sh*t is POINTLESS!!

I used to be like you. worse maybe sometimes even. i know how you feel. it will get better!

 

[Odelay]

Indeed that is a sad hand you have been dealt, but there are people that have it much worse off than you do, not that knowing that helps any.

A lot of the problems you have can be fixed with some effort on your part, and some of them are out of your hands. You need to focus on the problems you can solve and are the most important, like finding a job, and go from there. Some good job advice is to use the internet to your advantage and look for jobs in different parts of the state you live in or even a different state altogether, because there are a lot of jobs out there and limiting yourself to a certain city could be the problem.

As far as relationships go there is someone for everyone. Just try to go to social events, find a hobby that involves other people, do some volunteer work or take some kind of class you enjoy at the local college because it is very unlikely you will meet anyone sitting at home mulling over how horrible things are.

While being bald or losing your hair can really mess with your self confidence at the moment you have bigger things to deal with and should focus on them. The option of a hair transplant is always there if you feel you need one, but worry about that after you get the rest of your life in order.