G
Guest
Guest
has destroyed me from every angle.
Today, I went out to the cinema to take my mind of things. I wish I had never gone now. My day was destroyed when I went to the toilet and saw my hair in the mirror. It was brightish lights and really showed what a bad situation I’m in. I took off my baseball cap and my heart just sank. It’s just got 10 times worse. Finasteride and minoxidil seemed to have made my whole situation worse.
As I type this, I have the same feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same feeling that I’ve had for the last 2 years non-stop. That heart-sinking feeling .
Basically, my hair looks embarrassing at my age. This has devastated me to the extreme.
I’ll describe my hair.
It’s diffuse thinning - receding with a terrible hairline. The hair looks different in different lights. This is a nightmare. I cannot be myself, relax, my self-esteem resides at zero and my confidence has been destroyed. It’s all about preparation. I wasn’t prepared for this at all. I never knew severe hair loss would take away my enjoyment of my early 20’s. I no longer look forward to things. Even though I do have a laugh, I find it difficult to laugh with this mess on top of my head. People around my on a daily basis have made this nightmare even worse, as they have taken advantage of how this has effected me, by becoming more confident themselves.
My social life is non-existent these days. I have no desire to go out as this has hit me for 6. You may ask, how can this effect someone so badly. Well, I don’t know, but it has me. Maybe it was vanity? The fact 2 years ago I was happy with my appearance, only for 2/3 years later to be transformed into an ugly person because of this.
1/10th of the person I should be. I have been somewhat forced to change. The things I used to do, can no longer be done as they are frowned upon by people.
I have found that I just cannot relax anymore. This situation is on my mind 24/7. Why? Why am I effected so badly mentally by this. Here’s the reason why. As I say, I used to feel good about my appearance. This whole situation of feeling like a twat is new to me. I *don’t* know how to handle it.
My motivation has been killed. All I do is sit up in my room and rot. Well, not quite rot, but that’s what I am doing. I have no desire to go out and live life. My appearance has been wrecked due to this and I am severely embarrassed by it. I can’t help it.
I’ve spent a lot of money on propecia, procsar & minoxidil. And It has all been in-vain thus far.
I started minoxidil in May 2003. I used it for 4 months and had moderate results. I stupidly stopped. 4.5 months later and had a nightmare shed. Non-minoxidil reliant hair even shed leaving me looking ugly. So I re-started in panic 4.5 months ago. 4.5 months later, my hair hasn’t returned to how it was. The results aren’t worth speaking about so far. I haven’t recovered from the minoxidil shed. The minoxidil shed has just destroyed my hair.
I feel I have no choice but to get a hair transplant within the next 2 years, even though I don’t have the money at this time.
I read rammers posts on here. Same age, I’m in a worse position than him. At least he has a girlfriend and is in touch with mates. I have no chance of getting a girlfriend with the hair I have at the moment. None at all. Yet when I put my baseball cap on, I get looked at as if I’m half human again. I hate getting looks from girls when I‘m wearing my baseball cap because I feel it’s unjustified. I don’t want to even look at girls anymore because reality is, I will have no chance with them. When I nice girl passes, everyone else looks, I can’t even bring myself to look at her. I am hiding behind a baseball cap and it’s false. Hair loss at an early age has prevented me from being myself.
Basically, my whole day was a nightmare, when I viewed myself in that light in the cinema toilets. My whole world sunk with the realisation that my life has changed 100%. I went to watch the film. I just wanted to get home. I felt sick from what I saw.
The thing is. I can’t accept this. I can’t accept the change this has caused. In every angle of my life. Not just from my way of thinking, but from perception, to what I can say or how I say it.
No joke, the fact that I have to shave my head (probably mixed with the disappointment and depression etched on my face most of the time) gives people the impression I’m a criminal, even though I have never commit a single crime in my life. This is truly horrifying and it angers me. Even though I just have put up with it. I just wish I could smile with a shaved head more, but it’s hard when I know that it doesn’t suit me and looks shocking. It doesn’t and has never worked on me.
I’ve never smoked a single cigarette in my life, but because of my shaved head, people perceiving me as a probable druggie isn’t out of the question. But still I have to grin and bear it.
This has all happened too quick.
That’s part of why I’m taking this so badly. I wasn’t prepared for this.
Everything stems from the fact I have hair loss at a young age. It has effected every angle possible.
My life plan has gone down the drain. I had a plan of what I wanted to do, from career path to how I planned my hobbies. Now it’s gone because this runs my life. I didn’t expect to have my appearance destroyed 2 ½ - 3 years ago. I didn’t see this one coming.
My motivation has sunk. I can’t help that, but it has, this whole episode, the many downfalls has done me badly. Just how big is the change!? Can someone confirm I’m not exaggerating here?
The fact that I haven’t used anti-depressant is an achievement in itself, but that means nothing and no one will ever recognise such a silly thing.
That feeling of enjoyment. I have not had that feeling for about 2 years now.
Disappointment with the treatments have taken my depression further.
That’s where I am now, typing this out.
Thing is, minoxidil and finasteride seem to have accelerated my male pattern baldness. I wish I would never have found the treatments sometimes, because I know for a fact, I wouldn’t have hair like I do today. 100% certain.
These days I am confined to a baseball cap because my hair looks embarrassing for someone my age.
I have this mole at the back of my head that now shows through. An ugly mole that was hidden when I had normal (to even half-normal) hair, now my hair has thinned out badly, the white mole shines through like a beacon.
Just a complete nightmare if I’m honest.
Due to not smoking a single f**, in my life, I have smooth skin. Doesn’t matter a jot! Hair-loss has wrecked my appearance, so great skin or not, it’s pointless if it isn’t complemented with half normal (at least) hair. It’s just a waste of time.
Hair loss has left me with a permanent sinking feeling. That’s what I have - a permanent sinking feeling. I don’t feel good about anything anymore. It’s even managed to kill my enjoyment of Arsenal, the soccer/football team I have loved throughout the years. I no longer have the passion I once did. My life was supporting this team and my passion has been killed, and it all stems from 1 thing.
I always wanted to do my utmost to fix this.
The only answer for me is surgery. I feel the only way I am going to be happy is to get surgery. I just want to be myself again. These last 2 years have been a living hell. I’ve been effected and held back so much. The disappointment of these treatments have made it worse. They have only made me worse.
I have about £600 quid saved. That is no where near enough to get a hair transplant. I feel I have no choice but to get one sooner rather then later though.
Well, it’s been long, but that pretty much sums it all up right now.
I'll post new pics in the next few days for what it's worth.
Today, I went out to the cinema to take my mind of things. I wish I had never gone now. My day was destroyed when I went to the toilet and saw my hair in the mirror. It was brightish lights and really showed what a bad situation I’m in. I took off my baseball cap and my heart just sank. It’s just got 10 times worse. Finasteride and minoxidil seemed to have made my whole situation worse.
As I type this, I have the same feeling in the pit of my stomach. The same feeling that I’ve had for the last 2 years non-stop. That heart-sinking feeling .
Basically, my hair looks embarrassing at my age. This has devastated me to the extreme.
I’ll describe my hair.
It’s diffuse thinning - receding with a terrible hairline. The hair looks different in different lights. This is a nightmare. I cannot be myself, relax, my self-esteem resides at zero and my confidence has been destroyed. It’s all about preparation. I wasn’t prepared for this at all. I never knew severe hair loss would take away my enjoyment of my early 20’s. I no longer look forward to things. Even though I do have a laugh, I find it difficult to laugh with this mess on top of my head. People around my on a daily basis have made this nightmare even worse, as they have taken advantage of how this has effected me, by becoming more confident themselves.
My social life is non-existent these days. I have no desire to go out as this has hit me for 6. You may ask, how can this effect someone so badly. Well, I don’t know, but it has me. Maybe it was vanity? The fact 2 years ago I was happy with my appearance, only for 2/3 years later to be transformed into an ugly person because of this.
1/10th of the person I should be. I have been somewhat forced to change. The things I used to do, can no longer be done as they are frowned upon by people.
I have found that I just cannot relax anymore. This situation is on my mind 24/7. Why? Why am I effected so badly mentally by this. Here’s the reason why. As I say, I used to feel good about my appearance. This whole situation of feeling like a twat is new to me. I *don’t* know how to handle it.
My motivation has been killed. All I do is sit up in my room and rot. Well, not quite rot, but that’s what I am doing. I have no desire to go out and live life. My appearance has been wrecked due to this and I am severely embarrassed by it. I can’t help it.
I’ve spent a lot of money on propecia, procsar & minoxidil. And It has all been in-vain thus far.
I started minoxidil in May 2003. I used it for 4 months and had moderate results. I stupidly stopped. 4.5 months later and had a nightmare shed. Non-minoxidil reliant hair even shed leaving me looking ugly. So I re-started in panic 4.5 months ago. 4.5 months later, my hair hasn’t returned to how it was. The results aren’t worth speaking about so far. I haven’t recovered from the minoxidil shed. The minoxidil shed has just destroyed my hair.
I feel I have no choice but to get a hair transplant within the next 2 years, even though I don’t have the money at this time.
I read rammers posts on here. Same age, I’m in a worse position than him. At least he has a girlfriend and is in touch with mates. I have no chance of getting a girlfriend with the hair I have at the moment. None at all. Yet when I put my baseball cap on, I get looked at as if I’m half human again. I hate getting looks from girls when I‘m wearing my baseball cap because I feel it’s unjustified. I don’t want to even look at girls anymore because reality is, I will have no chance with them. When I nice girl passes, everyone else looks, I can’t even bring myself to look at her. I am hiding behind a baseball cap and it’s false. Hair loss at an early age has prevented me from being myself.
Basically, my whole day was a nightmare, when I viewed myself in that light in the cinema toilets. My whole world sunk with the realisation that my life has changed 100%. I went to watch the film. I just wanted to get home. I felt sick from what I saw.
The thing is. I can’t accept this. I can’t accept the change this has caused. In every angle of my life. Not just from my way of thinking, but from perception, to what I can say or how I say it.
No joke, the fact that I have to shave my head (probably mixed with the disappointment and depression etched on my face most of the time) gives people the impression I’m a criminal, even though I have never commit a single crime in my life. This is truly horrifying and it angers me. Even though I just have put up with it. I just wish I could smile with a shaved head more, but it’s hard when I know that it doesn’t suit me and looks shocking. It doesn’t and has never worked on me.
I’ve never smoked a single cigarette in my life, but because of my shaved head, people perceiving me as a probable druggie isn’t out of the question. But still I have to grin and bear it.
This has all happened too quick.
That’s part of why I’m taking this so badly. I wasn’t prepared for this.
Everything stems from the fact I have hair loss at a young age. It has effected every angle possible.
My life plan has gone down the drain. I had a plan of what I wanted to do, from career path to how I planned my hobbies. Now it’s gone because this runs my life. I didn’t expect to have my appearance destroyed 2 ½ - 3 years ago. I didn’t see this one coming.
My motivation has sunk. I can’t help that, but it has, this whole episode, the many downfalls has done me badly. Just how big is the change!? Can someone confirm I’m not exaggerating here?
The fact that I haven’t used anti-depressant is an achievement in itself, but that means nothing and no one will ever recognise such a silly thing.
That feeling of enjoyment. I have not had that feeling for about 2 years now.
Disappointment with the treatments have taken my depression further.
That’s where I am now, typing this out.
Thing is, minoxidil and finasteride seem to have accelerated my male pattern baldness. I wish I would never have found the treatments sometimes, because I know for a fact, I wouldn’t have hair like I do today. 100% certain.
These days I am confined to a baseball cap because my hair looks embarrassing for someone my age.
I have this mole at the back of my head that now shows through. An ugly mole that was hidden when I had normal (to even half-normal) hair, now my hair has thinned out badly, the white mole shines through like a beacon.
Just a complete nightmare if I’m honest.
Due to not smoking a single f**, in my life, I have smooth skin. Doesn’t matter a jot! Hair-loss has wrecked my appearance, so great skin or not, it’s pointless if it isn’t complemented with half normal (at least) hair. It’s just a waste of time.
Hair loss has left me with a permanent sinking feeling. That’s what I have - a permanent sinking feeling. I don’t feel good about anything anymore. It’s even managed to kill my enjoyment of Arsenal, the soccer/football team I have loved throughout the years. I no longer have the passion I once did. My life was supporting this team and my passion has been killed, and it all stems from 1 thing.
I always wanted to do my utmost to fix this.
The only answer for me is surgery. I feel the only way I am going to be happy is to get surgery. I just want to be myself again. These last 2 years have been a living hell. I’ve been effected and held back so much. The disappointment of these treatments have made it worse. They have only made me worse.
I have about £600 quid saved. That is no where near enough to get a hair transplant. I feel I have no choice but to get one sooner rather then later though.
Well, it’s been long, but that pretty much sums it all up right now.
I'll post new pics in the next few days for what it's worth.
