What do most women really feel about bald(ing) men?

[toocoolforhair]

If you look on a lot of websites and forums you will see the same thing. Women say they would have no trouble dating a bald or balding man. After all, it is personality that counts. If that is so then hair loss is no problem; women will love you anyway.

However, in my experience it is not quite true. I have seen many bald men in night clubs trying their hardest to pick up women with no success. I have even experienced it myself and I am only a shaved down Norwood 3. When I had enough hair to grow it out I had plenty of easy dating opportunities. Nowadays that isn't the case; women no longer throw themselves at me. I have to be bold instead. Is hair loss the reason?

Are most women lying about their true feelings? Is hair loss a big turn off? I can't help but think women begrudgingly accept bald men as they age. Most of the young, attractive women I meet go for the same type of guy. And it's not the bald(ing) guy. There have been exceptions though.

What do most women really feel about bald(ing) men?

 

[s.a.f]

viewtopic.php?f=41&t=52267&start=90

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

It completely depends.

If you look alright bald, then it wont be much of a problem, the women doesnt care so much about having you having no hair, its the overall attrativeness bar of all your features.

If you dont look so good bald then its obvoiusly going to be harder. And it also depends on the women, and how attrative she is. If she is unbelievavbly bueatiful and you are bald then dont expect a miracle.

In fact its pretty pointless to ask these questions. At the end of the day, good looking people go for other good looking people and vice versa. Bald(ing) or not, you will have a certain level of attractivness that women of a lesser and similar attractiveness will go for. As men, I dont think we go around saying, 'I could never go out with a woman with short hair, or who was really tall, or short, who was this color or that color.' We simply dont do that, because quite simply its stupid to go around completely shutting out any possibilities with millions of women jsut because they dont meet your criteria.

It just completely depends. I may still find a woman attractive even if there is something about her which isnt conventianally attractive. Its the same with women when they judge men, they dont have some type of mental checklist 'no hes too short, no he's too bald' ( of course these things may come into play, but its not predefined) there are always exceptions to conventions, and there are good looking people who arent what on paper what we would consider attractive.

 

[Nashville Hairline]

I'll never forget watching some fashion show while channel surfing and the women presenters were talking about how the shoes their potential mate was wearing was most important. :dunno: women are strange creatures.

Have seen bald guys in nightclubs having great success with the ladies and also guys floundering so badly I was embarrassed for them. But thats just from observation, I have no real idea whether it was the hair making the difference.

There's no definitive answer really: its a problem for some women and for others it isn't.

Also, while there exists hot women with diabolical taste in men there is always hope! :woot:

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

I'll never forget watching some fashion show while channel surfing and the women presenters were talking about how the shoes their potential mate was wearing was most important. :dunno: women are strange creatures.
Have seen bald guys in nightclubs having great success with the ladies and also guys floundering so badly I was embarrassed for them. But thats just from observation, I have no real idea whether it was the hair making the difference.

There's no definitive answer really: its a problem for some women and for others it isn't.

Also, while there exists hot women with diabolical taste in men there is always hope! :woot:

Ha exactly. This is thing, women are cut up about things like dress sense and grooming. Attractiveness is a complex subject. But it isnt just our physical body alone that makes it up, its our mentality and our style, as well as other things. Having no hair doesnt nessacarily mean your in trouble, you if you can be stylish and have a fun personality, you still come across as an attractivness. Would a women rather hang out with a depressed, quiet and dull NW1 or a full of life interesting happy bald guy??

 

[Smooth]

The age plays a huge role there, **most** girls at their early/mid twenties wouldn't go with baldies, when they get to 28+ id say.. then this starting to change for some abnormal reason, i think it has something to do with the fact that a young chick has more time to find her "perfect" groom while she looks her best... either way, i came to understanding that women are waaaaayyyyy more superficial the guys.

 

[Smooth]

:agree:

 

[Thinneritgoes!]

oh god, it never ends....

I don't have enough energy to comment on these topics anymore (except to comment that I don't have enough energy)

 

[DoctorHouse]

It's never going to end. No matter what, losing hair is going to make you miserable IF YOU LET IT. I am the cause of many of my own problems. I have no one to blame but myself. Those last two sentences I just typed and I actually meant them are something you are not going to read over and over again in this forum. If some of these people could admit at least that, they are taking the first steps in understanding themselves and maybe have a chance to change their outlook on life and live a more productive positive life.

 

[Smooth]

ok for all of you smart-asses who think you just wake up one morning feeling great and smiling and all of a sudden the world will smile back, i have one question for you: if you know it all, what the f*** are you doing here? if its THAT simple really then why do you waste your time on these forums ???? just change attitude like you advise, start smiling and get the f*** out of here with your condescending posts about how you can concur the world if you just realize its all in your head....and take a close look at your life before you give others advises.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Smooth, I don't know if you were directing that comment toward me but I guess I will respond. I do waste time on this forum but unfortunately this forum has grown on me like mold on a stale piece of bread. I hope I don't come across as condescending as I don't intentionally mean to do it. I find this forum entertaining as well. I find some comments on this place to be somewhat out of the ordinary. I guess my primary intention on coming to this forum was to find similar situations to mine. When I first started taking Propecia and using minoxidil at the same time, I started losing lots of hair. More than I have ever lost in my lifetime. I came here for answers and got more than I bargained for. I was like Ryan at first. Paranoid I was going to be bald thanks to Propecia or minoxidil. I learned I was wrong. I also learned how hair loss affects people and I realized I was not alone. I have definitely made a positive move in the right direction thanks to this forum. The people in this forum have taught me alot about how the world perceives bald people. I never knew this world was full of such ignorant people that treat bald people as if they were handicapped. It did help me in many ways. I hang around hoping I can give back some positiveness this place gave me but if no one really cares what I have to say then tell me now so I can be on my way already.

 

[ali777]

I am the cause of many of my own problems. I have no one to blame but myself. Those last two sentences I just typed and I actually meant them are something you are not going to read over and over again in this forum.

I typed those sentences not long ago. I can't remember the context but I did say most of my problems were self inflicted.

Anyway, most of the time the real issue isn't hair but the mind set. There is no need to go into this subject again, most of the guys in this forum are in denial.

Then she sat near me, though there was a lot of other places. I was so embarrassed that I simply walked away. :shakehead: Maybe if I would more believe in myself I would ask for a phone number? But if she would refuse it would be terrible for me. Hairloss made me very insecure, but I'm the only to blame that I feel like a 14 yo kid with no much experience with women. I'm sure those who are posting this "bald without money=no women" are the same insecure outsiders.

I know I'm NOT an ugly guy, I wouldn't claim to be very good looking neither. Even when I had the perfect hair I never really had the balls to ask women out. Apart from last year, I always had a gf in one form or another and sometimes more than one, but I don't ask them out. I somehow end up hooking with someone... That's a proof on its own that I'm not ugly :dunno:

Anyway, my point is, insecurity is a b**ch. I actually know what my problems are, but I somehow don't deal with them. Just like we are afraid of rejection when asking women out, I realise that I'm afraid of failures in general and that affects all aspects of my life, eg work and stuff. I've been seriously thinking about it, and I need to find a solution to this problem. I need to get rid off that "fear of failure".

 

[ali777]

Until, I can become "sucessful" at other things (or fix my God-awful hair somehow), I will have to continue living as a solitary man and avoid social situations and women altogether nowdays.

Becoming successful at other things isn't about becoming famous or making money. I mean it's not about you going up one level in the society, but it's more about you having a little hope to which you can hold on to so that you can project a bit of confidence to the others.

That's pretty much what I meant in my previous post. I've become almost too scared to try things, scared of failure. The fact is, I have a good CV with masters degree and I'm tri-lingual. I need to break the mold.... I know you and I aren't the only ones here with similar problems.

Basically, I have learned to accept defeat. Life has beaten me, and I probably can't ever triumph over it. Life has screwed me so hard that I doubt anybody in my shoes could have overcome it. So, I am not so hard on myself for that reason.

Accepting defeat is an understated virtue, we all should be gracious in defeat but admitting defeat even before the game has begun is the wrong mindset to have.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Ali, you are always one of the best posters on here. I always like reading what you have to say. You say you have fear of failure. I have fear of rejection and at the same time I have hard time trusting people. I believe everyone is out for themselves. When you say you have fear of failure, what do you mean by that?

 

[ali777]

Ali, you are always one of the best posters on here. I always like reading what you have to say. You say you have fear of failure. I have fear of rejection and at the same time I have hard time trusting people. I believe everyone is out for themselves. When you say you have fear of failure, what do you mean by that?

I don't face up to my responsibilities, I bury my head into the sand and I disappear.... I thought about it for a long time, I tried to figure out what caused it and why I behave like that.

I think I'm a good example for someone with "Passive–aggressive behavior". I'll give you a quote from Wikipedia that describes me pretty well:

Deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious.

I sort of know when and how it got out of control, I just can't snap out of it and it's holding me back. I've been planning to move and start a new life for a long time, but there are a few things that I need to do before I can leave and I somehow don't deal with them. I'm in the middle of a few things at once, but I don't do any :dunno:

I figured out the reason why I behave like this is that I'm afraid of facing up to my responsibilities and that I might fail.....

I wasn't like this as a teenager, I was very organised and conscientious. There is a good guy somewhere inside me but another part of me is suppressing the good guy....

You see, I'm making excuses again and I'm sulking... Typical :whistle:

PS: I know couple people with trust issues. I tried to understand why they have trust issues. On the surface there is nothing obvious, there must be something deeper there that even they aren't aware of.

 

[qball01]

this question is much too ambiguous for a clear cut answer....and contrary to what dudemon the women expert has written...there is no definite "forumla"...

it all depends on many factors

How old is the guy we're talking about? How does he actually look bald? Where does he live? How old are the girls he is going for? What type of girls are they? What is the environment he is meeting these girls like (bar, club, school, job, internet, friends, etc.) How does he carry himself? Is he ambitious and what are his career prospects? Does he know how to carry a conversation with a woman and physically escalate things? Is he funny and can he make a girl laugh? How does he come across to other people? How does he feel about himself overall and the fact that hes bald?

All of those questions contribute to the much sought after answer...the result will depend on a myriad of factors

and dudemon, I gotta disagree with the "man must be a bald superhero to get any women theory and hair is the missing part of the equation"...the way I see it...hair is one of many assets a man can posess in attracting a woman. If he loses his hair, he loses one of those assets (how he looks bald can definitely restore part of it but needless to say, hair is obviously the PREFERENCE.) But if he makes up that lost physical asset by acquiring or posessing other ones (hence the reason a lot of bald guys are muscular and lean) and he is able to not let the hairloss affect his other internal assets (such as self worth, confidence, etc.) then it likely won't be a big deal to a lot of girls....

Its like breast size for women. my PREFERENCE is big breasts...that could be a redeeming/deciding factor in me hooking up with a girl who isn't so attractive...if she otherwise had a nice rack. However, if an otherwise attractive adn cool girl who I got along with well happened to have small breasts it wouldn't matter to me...I wouldn't be saying to myself..."damn, she doesn't have big breasts, now I'm going to have to begrudgingly settle for her." I wouldn't care nearly as much because there would be many other reasons for me to like her, and I would still vastly prefer her over a not so attractive, annoying, but big breasted woman.

That is how women will see baldness IMO...its all on a case by case basis depending on the guy...and while I will contend that hair is a PREFERENCE for most women (there definitely is a small minority of bald headed fetish women), it doesn't necessarily kill the chances of a bald man. Everybody would PREFER to be with a perfect ten, so in theory, everybody who isn't with a perfect ten is "settling." In reality though, most people learn to be perfectly fine with not dating models if the chemistry and attraction is still there...a bald man is still capable of generating attraction. And he also doesn't have to be rich, famous, very handsome (despite lack of hair) and look like a bodybuilder to be able to date within a range of normal, attractive, non-model women. If he wants to only date models and playboy playmayes, then yeah...good luck. That is when the rich and famous part of the equation would come in to play because just about every man in the world would want these women.

 

[Oknow]

I don't have the ability to have those things because I look like a freak.

But, other bald guys who have never had hair transplant's, or guys who have had hair transplant's and shave it all off after spending about $10,000 on laser-dermabrasion on their donor scar to disguise and minimize it, or bald guys who had minimal hairloss to begin with and have had successful hair transplant's, are not in the same boat as me.

Neither are you, or are many of the guys on this forum, particularly the younger guys. I guess I should just go to a forum for deformed/disfigured freaks and leave this forum, but there aren't any of the kind, as I have looked.

But, what I was getting at is that I admitted I had been defeated, and by doing so, I was able to let go and release some of the heavy burden of it all. That has allowed me the ability to just accept what I cannot change, and then just try to live out the rest of my days by making the best of it. That's all I can do.

Not every bald guy can overcome their baldness; atleast not so easily as you claim. Perhaps you are a "minimal Norwood" and only "think" you know what you're talking about, but you are mistaken about some things in my opinion.

Right Dudemon, out of everyone bitching on here overtime, I actually feel very sympathetic towards your case. I currently have a form of disfigurment, but because it is a very subtle, it isn't that noticable and most people just think that this is the way I am supposed to look. And yeah I guess despite it I am a fairly attractive guy but like UCMan I often think to myself "Man I could be a stud if it was fixed because I do get female attention"....That's BDD.

But put it this way, and this is where I can relate. This disfigurement can make me look VERY odd/and ugly at times. Like say I have lost a lot of weight right, it becomes more prominent as it is eseentially my jawline that is at fault, which is related to my teeth. My bottom jaw slants to the right, with my actual face being longer then it SHOULD be. Furthermore right now I am unable to smile with my teeth touching, so as a result I am not very photogenic as I have to always pull off a stupid pose - sometimes it looks very fake and forced. In addition to this a weak jawline means that your face kinda fades away due to a lack of definition in photos.

And you know what just like you Girls notice this after a while; not so much the actual problem, but the way it changes my body language, I freeze up when it comes to photos for example. As a resultI have heard so many comments in my time:

"You always do the same poses"
"Why dont you smile with your teeth"/"Smile with your teeth"
"I want a photo with you" *I tense up*

etc. etc.

Anyway, where am I going with this? My issue is getting corrected now, and as I know how it feels when you have a disfigurement of some kind, my best advice to you is to get the scar removed. As long as THAT is there, you are going to be subconciously be bothered by it, and unless you develop the correct inner coping mechanisms that isn't going to change anytime soon. You can go out a 100 times, and end up failing EVERY time because you'll just end up doing the same things. When really what the problem is, is internally, you are broken due to your disfigurment.

As for being bald, as there is nothing that you can do about it -- you have to develop a way to deal with it. The same for me if I ever become bald, I will have to as well.

The girls -- yes you are right it will be harder. I can kinda predict what happened, you approached, opened, built a bit of rapport and tried to #close. But AT the same time I bet you any money these girls were being bitchy with you -- that is exactly where you have to up your game, you have to jump through more hoops by turning sh*t around of them. Seriously go flirty cocky funny on them, show them that you are a smart arse and not phased by their beauty, it never fails and will make you come across as interesting.

Often I push and pull my target, act unobtainable but obtainable at the same time if you get me.

 

[toocoolforhair]

dudemon, would you ever upload a photo? You make it sound like you are the hunchback of Notre Damme. Also, would you ever consider lowering your standards, or are they set in stone?

 

[Thinneritgoes!]

Dudemon, roughly how old were these girls?

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Dudemon - dont you ever get bored of writing the same old depressive listless dribble?

Yes, hair loss has wrecked your life. Geez, that whole thing is getting really boring.

Its just like the football club I support; when we lose, the manager always blames the referee's or fouls/cheating from the otherside, he wont ever accept that his team simply wasnt good enough.

Im just tired of you trying to make everyone else believe that your miserable life is your reality just because your bald head. Your physical attributes play a part, but your confidence/mentality does too, and you know it.

Please remember that you can only account for your own expereinces, it seems like you paint a bleak picture for all of us.