would you / have you used a dating or pick-up site?

[Quantum Cat]

is it worth it? I've always resisted because I thought they were a little bit sad, probably full of desperate people, and would likely just cause more unhappiness than any positive experiences.

I might be willing to sign up to a free one just to see. Means I'll have to take a selfie though... ugh :doh:

 

[bald29]

I have friends who get a couple of dates a week in those sites. They all have perfect hairlines though. I did try one of those for a few months, but only got one date with a fat and dumb girl.

Baldies are mainly ignored there, or politely rejected.

 

[SayifDoit]

I don't know what dating sites you guys go on but I think I received zero responses or messages haha.
1. I went on OKcupid, a complete ghost town and practically all the girls are looking for a demi-god(as in a perfect man); not forgetting most of these girls are extremely boring and nothing about them that is remotely unique or interesting apart from the fact them being girls! Hah...
2. Plenty of fish- I found most of the girls were just not my type and most of them have absolutely unrealistically high standard/specific requirements for boyfriend material, just the same as okcupid. The funniest thing is most of these girls have little to no info on their accounts apart from maybe a couple images showing some cleavage, my name is stephanie and I like rollercoasters. Tehe message me if you want. Like what the hell are you supposed to say to that?

I actually created a fake profile on plenty of fish because I honestly grew tired of just looking at some of these girls profiles and sending out messages. Maybe I didn't spend too much time on there....well anyway the guy I created was perfect in everway, doctor, ambitious, good-looking(he is actually a model) and does sailing. Got dozens of responses, everytime I login I get a good 6ish messages, most of these girls basically about as interesting as wet paint hahaha.
Now that's no offence to any of you girls, haha.

To be honest though, I feel as if most of these girls are looking for a man, I look like im 16.

 

[bald29]

I don't know what dating sites you guys go on but I think I received zero responses or messages haha.
1. I went on OKcupid, a complete ghost town and practically all the girls are looking for a demi-god(as in a perfect man); not forgetting most of these girls are extremely boring and nothing about them that is remotely unique or interesting apart from the fact them being girls! Hah...
2. Plenty of fish- I found most of the girls were just not my type and most of them have absolutely unrealistically high standard/specific requirements for boyfriend material, just the same as okcupid. The funniest thing is most of these girls have little to no info on their accounts apart from maybe a couple images showing some cleavage, my name is stephanie and I like rollercoasters. Tehe message me if you want. Like what the hell are you supposed to say to that?

I actually created a fake profile on plenty of fish because I honestly grew tired of just looking at some of these girls profiles and sending out messages. Maybe I didn't spend too much time on there....well anyway the guy I created was perfect in everway, doctor, ambitious, good-looking(he is actually a model) and does sailing. Got dozens of responses, everytime I login I get a good 6ish messages, most of these girls basically about as interesting as wet paint hahaha.
Now that's no offence to any of you girls, haha.

To be honest though, I feel as if most of these girls are looking for a man, I look like im 16.

Nice experiment Maybe you should now remove all the doctor and ambitious part of this profile, and see what kind of responses you get. I think it's all about the pictures.

I'm also thinking about doing something similar, keeping my exact same profile but changing the pictures to myself 3 or 4 years younger, when I had all my hair. The one I used is Meetic, and the responses I got were as if the girls liked how I was, but still were reluctant to date me, which I attribute to the fact that all my pictures proudly displayed my NW5 head (I was in denial at the time). Although unlikely to date a bald guy, the girls in there didn't seem to be looking for a model, and the 6-7s sounded to me as if they had low self esteem issues.

 

[Quantum Cat]

practically all the girls are looking for a demi-god(as in a perfect man); .

this is basically why I've always avoided dating sites - it's basically just an 'appearance is everything' market, even worse than in the 'real life' dating scene. Well, appearance and how much money they think the guy has.

I suspect the free ones are worse for that. More serious daters are willing to stump up cash to join a paid site.

 

[bald29]

this is basically why I've always avoided dating sites - it's basically just an 'appearance is everything' market

Well that is how dating works. Are you looking for just personality? Because if you are, you are in good luck. Millions of unattractive girls are willing to date you today.

 

[Quantum Cat]

millions? yay! :woot:

 

[bald29]

millions? yay! :woot:

yes! unattractive though That's the 'only' problem with baldness, having to go down to the bottom of the dating market, where the ugly people are.

In my case, I don't want a retarded cute girl, but I don't want a nice, ugly one either. I want a cute, smart, nice girl I have smart and nice now, so I know I can't have a pretty girl right now, and that's why I'm not dating until I solve my hair problems. I have no immediate plans of going down there with the undesirable ones --even though I'm one of them now --.

 

[Spanishlad]

Never used a dating site as such but I've used an app called tinder it cuts out all the crap of sending numerous messages and not getting a reply, you can only messages people who have already liked your photos. I know its completely superficial and based just on looks but it can give a welcome confidence boost and it works

 

[Primo]

I have good looking nw1 friends who use Tinder all the time, but with much less success than in real life. I think most girls just use it as an ego boost where they can regularly have at least half a dozen guys chatting to them all at the same time and it is effectively putting all the power into their hands, which I think is bs. Very rarely, do any of these guys I know get an actual date, nevermind a lay, with this thing. Just hot air, days and days of chatting to these girls on whatsapp attempting to arrange dates, then it all suddenly goes quiet as she gets bored of them and moves onto talking to one of the 20 other guys she has at her disposal, who are whatsapping her every single hour.

I'm really not quite sure where us bald/balding males fit into this shallow, aesthetic-perfectionist online world, where attributes like personality, humour and game that can make all the difference for us in real life, are worth absolutely zero lol.

There's no harm doing all this online stuff on this side, but I personally wouldn't rely on it as a staple even if I was a handsome nw1 dude.

Every success I've ever had with quality women has come from what people here would regard crudely as "cold approach" and also meeting people through different clubs, groups and societies etc, basically any opportunity where I can get across my personality in a warm, social environment where most are open to meeting new people.

In the online world girls can contrast, compare and critique my every fault against a dozen other guys profiles, but in the real world I can bond with a girl and gain her trust and attraction in less than a minute and unlike the online world, she doesn't have time to stop and compare me to others or critique all my physical imperfections because I've already left my mark on her psychologically and gained her attraction over every other man in the room because in real life all these guys are too shy and unconfident to approach the girl and instead prefer to gawk and stare at her from a distance like creepers lol.

 

[Quantum Cat]

@Fred

thanks for your stories - are your experiences based on free dating sites or paid ones?

Do you ever use 'hook-up' sites where people are just looking for one-night stands rather than dating?

 

[2bald2young]

I think I managed to get more or less 30 dates from online dating in my life. I'm 24 and have been doing it since I was 17. I took a break from it in 2010 (when my hair really started to go down the drain) and in 2012 (when I had my man boobs on top of the hair loss).

Everything I've read here is accurate, except for the desperation, at least for the women, because pretty much all of them are on dating websites now (Facebook counts as one).

So you can say 99% of girls are desperate. You'll find all kinds of girls. I managed to pull girls from 5 to 9 in the looks range.

We cannot say the same for guys, as they'll often use online dating as a substitute because they can't approach girls in real life.

It's all based on your main profile picture, you can write anything you want on your profile, it just won't matter. Some girls will take the time to read your profile, but they're the exceptions.

I see it even more clearly now with Tinder. Even though I'm good looking and have been offered modelling jobs, I'm still not one of these "demi-god" they are looking for.

If I send 25 messages on Okcupid, I'll get 1 reply. I just say "Hey, how are you?", and it usually works. It also proves the fact that it's all about the picture profile, if she finds you attractive, she'll reply.

My stats are quite low, but I'm honest about how I look: no hats, no combovers, I'm just bald on my main profile picture. I guess it must affect my reply rate. I'll see if it changes after my transplanted hairs grow. You can't say the same about the girls regarding honesty. A lot of them are SIF (secret internet fatties) who will use creative angles.

Only one approach works for men on those websites: upload a very good picture of yourself, possibly taken by a professional, spam message girls as much as you can, copy/paste is your friend. After not more than 3 lines of discussion, ask for her number/Skype/Facebook, talk a little with her some more, then ask her to meet. You should be doing that fast, do not wait more than 2 days to move the interaction forward, because you will have a lot of competition.

For being desperate they have pretty high standards then :/

 

[CaptainForehead]

Fred, I saw a man yesterday who looked very similar to you, only slick shaved. And I could see how he could be popular with the ladies.

 

[Quantum Cat]

In the online world girls can contrast, compare and critique my every fault against a dozen other guys profiles, but in the real world I can bond with a girl and gain her trust and attraction in less than a minute and unlike the online world, she doesn't have time to stop and compare me to others or critique all my physical imperfections because I've already left my mark on her psychologically and gained her attraction over every other man in the room because in real life all these guys are too shy and unconfident to approach the girl and instead prefer to gawk and stare at her from a distance like creepers lol.

I have that problem. I don't make it obvious that I'm hitting on a woman. I don't want to come off as a creep or desperate or cheesy, so I don't approach the woman because I don't want her to know I'm 'interested'. The problem with that is I might come across as distant or even rude. It's hard to get the balance right :doh:

I'm under no illusion that the traditional ways of meeting people are, and always will be the best. I know dating sites are a crock basically, but I'm curious to try them out and see what happens



- - - Updated - - -

Yes, I tried those websites for one-night stands.
.

which sites did you try?

 

[AddictedtoSoftDrinks]

Heres what this girl has to say about eharmony and bald men. I dont know if she is trashing bald men in general or just -Old Bald Men-

"The men on eharmony are beyond annoying and picky! I got matches, but the guys were delusional about what they wanted. To have some 60 fat, rude, bald, ugly, and immature guy tell me he is too good for me is a joke. I could not believe the guys on that site. It's suppose to be a site for people who are SERIOUS about finding a long-term relationship, but the guys won't even get to know you and just judge you by your pic anyway! Also they match you up with people who are inactive and cannot respond to you. What good is that? No more paid sites for me."

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/5988430datingPostpage10.aspx

- - - Updated - - -

I think I managed to get more or less 30 dates from online dating in my life. I'm 24 and have been doing it since I was 17. I took a break from it in 2010 (when my hair really started to go down the drain) and in 2012 (when I had my man boobs on top of the hair loss).

Everything I've read here is accurate, except for the desperation, at least for the women, because pretty much all of them are on dating websites now (Facebook counts as one).

So you can say 99% of girls are desperate. You'll find all kinds of girls. I managed to pull girls from 5 to 9 in the looks range.

We cannot say the same for guys, as they'll often use online dating as a substitute because they can't approach girls in real life.

It's all based on your main profile picture, you can write anything you want on your profile, it just won't matter. Some girls will take the time to read your profile, but they're the exceptions.

I see it even more clearly now with Tinder. Even though I'm good looking and have been offered modelling jobs, I'm still not one of these "demi-god" they are looking for.

If I send 25 messages on Okcupid, I'll get 1 reply. I just say "Hey, how are you?", and it usually works. It also proves the fact that it's all about the picture profile, if she finds you attractive, she'll reply.

My stats are quite low, but I'm honest about how I look: no hats, no combovers, I'm just bald on my main profile picture. I guess it must affect my reply rate. I'll see if it changes after my transplanted hairs grow. You can't say the same about the girls regarding honesty. A lot of them are SIF (secret internet fatties) who will use creative angles.

Only one approach works for men on those websites: upload a very good picture of yourself, possibly taken by a professional, spam message girls as much as you can, copy/paste is your friend. After not more than 3 lines of discussion, ask for her number/Skype/Facebook, talk a little with her some more, then ask her to meet. You should be doing that fast, do not wait more than 2 days to move the interaction forward, because you will have a lot of competition.

Damn that is some nice advice dude. When I was on eharmony a few years ago, I had alot of girls send me connections but I was too shy to connect with the ones I wanted to get with (ones that didnt send me connections.) Pretty much the ones that I found attractive. Im going to follow your guidelines when I get back on there in a few years.

 

[Quantum Cat]

do you think e-harmony is one of the best dating sites?

 

[AddictedtoSoftDrinks]

do you think e-harmony is one of the best dating sites?

Yes I do. If you are looking for a fvck or to go on casual dates so you can sleep around then I suggest you go somewhere else because that mindset will just pollute that site. They have a good community of people looking for a long term relationship that will lead to marriage. Make sure you dont lie in the personality test and be as honest as possible because their system will match you up with someone that matches the results from your personality test. So the more honest you are, the better the matches personality wise. I was on there awhile back and I thought I had met my future wife but I wasnt ready for marriage so I broke it off. Its free but dont pay for the site untill you see a profile that catches your interest and wonder what she looks like. Paying allows you to see their pics, but after you pay you will be allowed to see all pics for your matches. Good luck man.

 

[maher]

Meeting girls online is too much time-consuming and then you end up on a date, with a girl, who looks nothing like on her photos.

The best way to meet girls are summer weekend festivals and concerts. Most girls there are openminded party girls. In worst case scenario you end up getting a bj at 4AM by fatty cute hipster chick.

 

[swingline747]

By experience, I can tell you online dating has way more benefits than the "traditional way of dating", if by traditional you mean meeting girls through your social circles and extended social circles. I was just talking with my friends about it yesterday, and they told me they get into trouble if the girl they were set up with reject them. Gossip spreads fast after the date or after the relationship, and your reputation can go down the drain very fast, even if you think you did everything right with the said girl.

This is why I never get set up by friends nor date people I work with. To easy to piss off a girl then she makes up some weird **** about you and it spreads like wild fire.
Just easier to find a new random person somewhere to take out who knows no one you do and when you split you don't find friends taking sides.
To often I think couples will stay together because of this. They are afraid of losing mutual friends.

Why I also have a rule to NEVER be my friends GF's friend (did that make sense). Its hysterical because all my buddies girls always think Im the biggest jerk and have to have it explained.
My friends could literally punch their GF in the eye and the first thing Ill ask them is "well what did you do to piss him off?"

 

[maher]

And getting a blowjob from a fatty hipster after spending hours and hours chatting up women you don't know is not a waste of time?
.

No. After hours spend partying with your buddies, picking her up on your way to WC.