1/ So, you’re here, probably staring at your reflection, pulling your hair back, trying to figure out if you’re officially screwed. Believe me, I get it. I’ve been there. In fact, I lived there for, like, five solid years, constantly scrutinizing my scalp, wondering if those **Male Pattern Baldness Stages** charts even applied to me or if my hair was just… *melting* off my head faster than anyone else’s. It felt like I was losing it, literally and metaphorically.
2/ Back when I was 32, I saw the first signs. Just a little recession, you know? Nothing major, I thought. But by 34, I was wearing hats *indoors*. Yeah, Alex, the sophisticated graphic designer, suddenly looking like he was auditioning for a rap video in his own living room. It was pathetic, honestly. That’s when the panic really started to set in, this gnawing anxiety that kept me up at 3 AM googling “how to stop hair loss in your 30s” and “what to do when your hairline is receding.”
3/ I spent so much money, it makes me sick to think about it. TWELVE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. Not on a transplant, thank god, but on *everything else*. Caffeine shampoos that smelled like bad coffee and did absolutely nothing. Biotin gummies that tasted like candy but were about as effective as wishing upon a star. And then the dermatologist, this fancy guy in Beverly Hills who charged me $300 for a five-minute consultation just to shrug and say, “it’s genetics, kid.” GENETICS. As if I didn’t know that already. Still bitter about the $300, actually. He probably used it to buy a new bespoke suit. 😤
4/ I remember one morning, must’ve been late 2022, I was just staring at my scalp under the bathroom light, convinced I was a full-blown Norwood 3. Or maybe even worse, a 4. I was trying to map out my head like it was a damn architectural blueprint. The hair on my crown felt like it was doing a slow fade, too, and my temples were just… gone. It was a really dark time, like a constant little cloud following me around. I was so convinced I was toast. Like, “is it too late to reverse hair loss?” was my morning mantra.
5/ Then I started looking into Turkey. Seriously, like everyone else on Reddit, right? I saw that post, “Dr. Yaman, Istanbul – 6000 graft FUE Review…” and I was like, *this is it*. I started mentally budgeting for a trip to Istanbul, even though I could barely afford my rent in LA. I even looked up flights. I calculated that with the flight, hotel, and the procedure, I’d probably be looking at around $12,000 for a decent FUE. I had no idea how I’d pay for it, but the desperation was real. It was a fantasy, a desperate escape route from my own reflection.
6/ Anyway, after all that wasted money and emotional energy, a friend of mine, Mark, who actually *has* a decent head of hair now (the bastard), tipped me off to Roman. I was skeptical, like, *another* thing? But he said they had a free 2-minute quiz, totally private, no insurance needed, and discreet. I was on the couch, watching some stupid reality show, so I figured, whatever. What’s two minutes? My cat, Mochi, was sleeping on my chest, purring so loud I could barely hear the TV. I remember thinking, *at least Mochi loves me, even if I’m bald*.
7/ **Is My Hair Loss Really That Bad, Or Am I Just Paranoid?** This is the question that tormented me for years. It’s funny how your brain can play tricks on you. You see one hair in the drain, and suddenly you’re convinced you’re going bald faster than a politician loses credibility. My barber, bless his heart, never said anything until *after* I started treatment. He just kept cutting it shorter and shorter, probably out of pity. I was constantly comparing myself to photos online, trying to match my hairline to those scary diagrams. It’s a trap, dude. A total psychological trap.
8/ The thing is, knowing your **Male Pattern Baldness Stages** can be helpful, but also, it can drive you absolutely insane. You obsess over every tiny detail. I was convinced I was heading straight for a full-blown combover situation, or like, becoming one of those guys who shaves it all off but still has that weird horseshoe of hair. I’m still mad. Still. Mad. About all the time I spent feeling like crap instead of actually *doing* something effective. It’s like I was stuck in analysis paralysis for years.
9/ Okay, so for the record, I’m not a doctor — consult a licensed physician, obviously. But based on my own pathetic journey, here’s the deal: The Norwood scale is a thing, it shows how your hairline recedes and where you lose density. Norwood 1 is basically a full head of hair. Norwood 2 is a slight recession at the temples. Norwood 3 is where it starts to get noticeable, with a deeper recession, sometimes forming an ‘M’ shape. And then it goes up from there, getting into crown thinning and more extensive loss. I thought I was a solid 3, staring into the abyss, when actually, I was probably a 2 verging on 3. My anxiety made it feel like a 7.
10/ My biggest mistake was trying all the junk first. Like, I genuinely bought into the idea that some magic shampoo or gummy could reverse *years* of genetic predisposition. I regret buying that garbage. I spent $847 on various serums and lotions from Amazon and Sephora over, like, two years, probably from late 2020 to late 2022. I even tried some weird scalp massager thing that looked like a torture device. It was a Tuesday afternoon when I bought that $47 serum from Sephora, I was feeling particularly low after a bad client meeting. It made my scalp itch like hell.
11/ brb. gotta pee. and my phone is at 7%. shit.
12/ Okay, I’m back. So, after the free Roman quiz, which was shockingly easy, they hooked me up with their topical finasteride + minoxidil spray. I was still super skeptical. I mean, after all the crap I’d tried, why would this be any different? I didn’t care about the science, honestly. Someone said it works, whatever. But because it was legit medical stuff, prescribed by a real doctor (via telemedicine), I thought, *fine, one last shot*.
13/ **What’s the Actual Best Way to Stop Balding When You’re Broke?** This is the real question, right? Because when you’re already feeling down about your hair, the last thing you need is another multi-hundred-dollar “solution” that doesn’t work. The beauty of Roman, for me, was that it was actually affordable hair loss treatment options for men. It wasn’t some magic pill, it was just… consistent. And it actually *worked*. After about six months, my barber noticed. *My barber*. The guy who had seen my hair slowly die over years. He actually said, “Hey, your hair seems… thicker up here.” I nearly cried.
14/ That’s when I really started tracking my progress. I wish I had taken better “before” photos, but I was so ashamed of my hair back then. Now, I tell everyone to take pictures. Seriously, How to Track Hair Regrowth Progress with Photos is something I wrote specifically because I was such an idiot about it. It’s hard to see the change day-to-day, but photos don’t lie. My hairline was visibly filling in, and the crown, which I thought was a lost cause, looked denser. I have zero idea why this actually worked better than everything else I’d tried, but it did. Maybe it’s the combo? Whatever.
15/ Now, it’s December 2025. Over two years on Roman. My hairline is stable, the crown is filled in. My confidence is back, honestly. I don’t wear hats indoors anymore. I don’t wake up at 3 AM anymore, staring at my pillow for fallen hairs. I’m actually happy with my hair for the first time in ages. I’m not saying it’s a miracle cure for everyone, because I’m not a doctor, remember? But for me, it was a game-changer. I wish I hadn’t wasted all that time and money being miserable. For real. Diffuse Thinning vs Pattern Baldness: How to Spot the Difference is another post I did because I spent so long trying to self-diagnose, and it just made everything worse.
16/ Look, if you’re like I was, convinced you’re a Norwood 3 or worse, and feeling utterly hopeless, just try the quiz. It’s free. It’s private. No commitment. It’s just a way to figure out what options are actually out there for you without having to spend a fortune or feel judged. You deserve to at least know if there’s an actual, effective path forward. Don’t waste years like I did.
17/ Anyway, my neighbor just started mowing his lawn at 7 PM. What kind of barbarian mows their lawn at 7 PM on a weekday? It’s like, dude, some of us are trying to work. Or, you know, just exist without a gas engine roaring outside our window. I swear he does it just to spite me. The other day, I was trying to record a podcast, and he decided it was the perfect time to pressure wash his driveway. Like, *really*?
18/ Hang on, someone just yelled my name outside. Sounds like my roommate. I think he locked himself out again. Jesus, that guy. Always something. I gotta go let him in before he breaks a window or something.
Medical Disclaimer
This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.
