Agree with your first statement; strongly disagree with the second.
Tinder 10/10 Male Experiment
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Agree with your first statement; strongly disagree with the second.
EvilLocks
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I agree with you, Joan. I think I've mentioned this before, but I used to date a man who was much older than me. He was interested in me right away, but I wasn't into him. But once I got to know him better feelings developed, and I grew really found of him. So the attraction wasn't there right away for me, but it developed with time.
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Have you broken it off with your gf?
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I like how you keep track of your dates Fred, I have trouble remembering the exact number of guys I have slept with LOL (not that it is an insane amount of guys).
EvilLocks
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I'm sorry Fred, I know how much it hurts when a relationship you thought was good comes to an end. And it's pretty common to compare every potential partner to your ex. I know I do this. Even though he was a douche to me when he dumped me over hair loss, I still care a lot about him. I've been dating a bit lately but I just get bored it seems like. No one compares to him, and it sucks.
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Not to mention, I get afraid of "revealing" my hair loss, and I don't know how or when to bring it up with a guy I'm dating. So it's just easier to not let the relationship go as far as to where I need to tell him the truth (I hide my loss with Toppik and extensions).
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Wow. And you are 23 only. I shouldn't judge :doh: lol
Fred, I was wondering about the situation with your GF. Whether things work out or not, she was someone you found attractive and who also didn't notice or care about your hair, so I'm sure there will be plenty of other women who will feel the same.
EvilLocks
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Keep in mind that I've been "doing it" for nearly 10 years, since right before my 15th birthday. And like I said, it's not an insane amount of guys, but I do have some experience. I've just never counted the guys I've been with, maybe in the beginning I did but then after some time you don't care to count anymore (yes, I realize this makes me sound like the biggest sl*t - but I promise you I'm not! I don't like the word "sl*t" anyway).
FWIW
Established Member
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Cherchez la femme!
If it was not for them, this forum would never exist.
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Fred, good that you didnt wait for her and just went to see her and good that you are kind of moving on mentally and prepared for everything. Anyway you are brave to undergo this torment with dating with your condition and still be succesfull. From what I have seen other high Norwood guys here gave up even trying.
If it was not for them, this forum would never exist.
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Fred, good that you didnt wait for her and just went to see her and good that you are kind of moving on mentally and prepared for everything. Anyway you are brave to undergo this torment with dating with your condition and still be succesfull. From what I have seen other high Norwood guys here gave up even trying.
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Uh Fred maybe it never works because they expect the last point about you, so clearly that's a stumbling block.
I know this is incredibly harsh Fred and I've said it before, but I really do think you must have a miserable or bland personality, if you think you can never win round a girl with charm, conversation and humour, then you must only be limited to basic chat. I mean 80% or even more guys I've ever known, only stand a chance by getting out there and really applying themselves to whatever girl in order to get anywhere. Hell even some girls are attracted to a particular guy and still expect to have some sort of connection personality-wise.
This bull**** fairytale land in which you've dreamt up of, where women just go around pulling the guys they want to ****, it's just not reality. You've probably seen a few examples of it and now you apply it to every single situation.
Even if girls are physically compatible with a guy, only 20% or even less of guys are universally agreed as attractive, so not only does the girl fancy him personally, she has to ensure that her friends will also fancy him, be jealous of her, and hold what she has in high esteem. You've admitted this many times before, girls care tremendously about what their friends think, and will be put off a guy by their friends opinion.
So with this comes a glaring discrepancy in your Fred Complex Thesis, you're saying women are physically compatible to guys, but this is irrelevant anyway as they also need their friends to fancy them. So what's the answer to that?
So why do more than 20% of guys get laid? Because they win girls over, they make them sacrifice their vision of a perfect looking guy that all their friends like, to going with a less desirable guy who they can actually talk to comfortably with. It happens, all the ****ing time, and by denying it, you're denying the vast majority of relationships around you, and you do it on purpose.
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It really doesn't matter what you've done in the past. My older brother has been with probably a hundred women. Was never called a sl*t. I don't know why this term doesn't go both ways. If anything it's worst for guys to do it, because I do believe women tend to get more easily attached afterwards, and it's not far. True story though, my brother is now marrying a girl who lost her virginity to him. She doesn't judge and she's an amazing woman. She knows, that despite his past he would never cheat on her (at least I hope not, lol).
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Fred, I don't remember where, but I have seen a picture of your face... like on a beach or something? Was that you? You're a super good looking guy. The women give you a first date because they ARE physically attracted to you, despite what you think about your hair. They see your hair man. Women notice everything. They still like you. First date - that hurdle is already crossed.
In time you will realise that there are guys out there 10 times better than your ex. You care about him because you shared good moments. That is perfectly natural and to make it worse we tend to cling on to things when we feel we 'lost out' or came off worse. It's mostly just a trick of the mind though. Sometimes when someone treats us badly it knocks at our self esteem so much that deep down, subconsciously we blame ourselves and truly believe it was our fault that they treated us badly. I think this may be partially true in your case but you have to keep reminding yourself that the only thing lacking was his character when he reacted badly to such a superficial thing. In years to come, when you're older and happy with a good guy who accepts you for who you are, you definitely wont think so highly of your ex. It is hard though as I have had similar thoughts and feelings with an ex who treated me badly.
Also, anxiety and fear feeds off avoidance. Live your life, have those experiences, let things go as far as they need and tell guys about your 'hair loss' when it feels right. The ones who care don't matter and the ones who don't care could turn out to be great guys.
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Bald guys all live unfulfilled and celibate lives of misery don't you know...?
Sickening how easy it is for women lol
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Relatively speaking, of course they do.
zzzzzz
Why are you here all day if your life is so fulfilled?
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Back on topic, I bet this whole thing is bull**** anyway. How many girls are dumb enough to believe a profile of a guy who's an international model, is messaging them to ****? I think whoever made this "fake profile" just made all the responses up.
First of all, what's this beef between you and Cocohut?? Haha. You guys both seem like nice enough guys.
Honestly, I don't think Fred is trying to say that personality and humor do not matter. I don't think he just goes out with women and just exhibits a bland personality. I believe that he is just trying to say that outer looks really do matter first and foremost when it comes to meeting women (and oftentimes that means having a decent head of hair), and definitely when it comes to getting your foot in the door. Physical attraction is really first and foremost when it comes to attracting women and without it, a healthy romantic relationship really cannot exist. I will concede that other things are important too (sense of humor, kindness, etc.), but not nearly to the degree of outer looks.
I will agree though that attraction is not always instantaneous. It reminds me of my friend who is married now. When he initially met his future wife, she didn't really like him at all. But he kept on pursuing her, and after a few months, they finally started seriously dating. He was an NW1 too, so his outer looks really weren't eroded. But anyway, they're married now and she seems very devoted to him.
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I think that is a reasonable way of putting it? BTW, are you really from Zaire man?
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I think my cardinal sin against cocohot was what he perceived as mocking baldness, really I was mocking his hatred of people having hair or growing hair. It's an easy mistake to make but I apologised generally for any offence I've caused him, I offered an olive branch and to move on and in future disagree respectfully, but as I say, it was a cardinal sin, and fine it's his choice if he doesn't want to reply to me. But there is a certain irony in his attempt to never acknowledge me again in a dignified manner, I am now at the bottom of every single post he ever writes.
As for Fred, he absolutely is saying that none of those things matter. I don't know if he said it in no uncertain terms in this thread, but he's said it many, many times before, I guess you'll have to trust me on this. He's literally said that personality is 0% factor of attraction, after much pressing from myself he eventually mellowed to at least being slightly more reasonable that it's 0% on first dates or hooking up in clubs, not in a relationship, but this wasn't his original stance.
In one of the first of our numerous debates on the topic, I somewhat sarcastically asked a loaded question "so if you were to walk up to a woman who's attracted to you and asked if she's pregnant, it won't matter?" and to my surprise, he said of course it wouldn't, she's attracted to you so nothing would matter. So that's what we're dealing with here.
But anyway, yes looks are no doubt very important, but the thing is, very few people have them. And even if a guy ticks that box, if he's particularly attractive then even an attractive woman is concerned he's a player, will **** her and not call her back, etc. and the only way of assuring her is by showing your personality to her. What I'm saying is, there's a lot of variables, a lot of things come into play, physical looks is definitely the most important thing, but it's far from the only thing.
As for Fred, he absolutely is saying that none of those things matter. I don't know if he said it in no uncertain terms in this thread, but he's said it many, many times before, I guess you'll have to trust me on this. He's literally said that personality is 0% factor of attraction, after much pressing from myself he eventually mellowed to at least being slightly more reasonable that it's 0% on first dates or hooking up in clubs, not in a relationship, but this wasn't his original stance.
In one of the first of our numerous debates on the topic, I somewhat sarcastically asked a loaded question "so if you were to walk up to a woman who's attracted to you and asked if she's pregnant, it won't matter?" and to my surprise, he said of course it wouldn't, she's attracted to you so nothing would matter. So that's what we're dealing with here.
But anyway, yes looks are no doubt very important, but the thing is, very few people have them. And even if a guy ticks that box, if he's particularly attractive then even an attractive woman is concerned he's a player, will **** her and not call her back, etc. and the only way of assuring her is by showing your personality to her. What I'm saying is, there's a lot of variables, a lot of things come into play, physical looks is definitely the most important thing, but it's far from the only thing.
Hey man. I will agree that very few people really do possess model quality looks. I was never under the illusion that I had model quality looks, with or without hair. I never really looked at anyone else or compared myself to them prior to hair loss. I guess my beef with baldness is not that it is preventing me from being the best-looking guy in the room, but that it is preventing me from being the best-looking guy that I can be.
But anyway, I can respect what you say with regards to the variables point of view and you do seem like a rational guy. And yes, I saw you at the bottom of Cocohut's posts, that is why I inquired, haha.
But anyway, I can respect what you say with regards to the variables point of view and you do seem like a rational guy. And yes, I saw you at the bottom of Cocohut's posts, that is why I inquired, haha.