Oknow gives terrible advice for online dating

[Oknow]

Yup + the fact that everything we need gets more expensive. Food, gas, heating,...

Even if you can get the house, imagine paying for kids in this day and age... there won't be much left at the end of the month

just looked on zoopla.co.uk for rent prices

1.5k a month for a 1 bed easy - I can afford this but after I pay off all my bills will save less than 500 a month

national average is 38k , thats 2,322 a month, unaffordable really

 

[Oknow]

That's because too many people are going to university and obtaining worthless degrees, mostly due to New Labour policies which saw holding a degree as a measurement of political success.

As for non-education related debt, that's personal choice surely? No one needs to take out a hire purchase agreement on a brand new Audi whilst living with their parents but they choose to because they want to look good to their peers.

Housing benefit is a major distortionary factor in rent prices and is the largest non-pension component of the welfare state. Most of this goes to private landlords. Were it removed prices would in theory correct in the long term but we don't have politicians willing to make long range decisions due to oppositional opportunism and hysterical media as well as other factors such as lobbying.

I think it's possible to lead a frugal existence if one so chooses. I agree with you on the kids point though, people should reproduce responsibly (if at all) and not have more kids than they can comfortably afford.

Well I studied a solid degree, computer science, got a 2.1, and work in a well known corporate company in a senior role, I should not be struggling to buy.

But here I am , in middle age , living with my parents bitching to you on a hairloss forum.

One other problem is that when you earn more you pay more tax and your student loan payments increase , I’m losing £300 a month repaying my student loan, how is that fair?

if I could pocket it, that’s over 3000 towards my savings or rent

 

[Oknow]

The only solution is to implement rent control and cross your fingers hoping that the laws of economics don't work so none of the predictable harmful effects of rent control happen.

And stop increasing national insurance !

 

[Regan]

This is why many guys are just dropping out and doing their own thing. Costs of having a traditional family are sky high + societal decline

It's over for latemodernitycels.

 

[BeHereNow]

This is why many guys are just dropping out and doing their own thing. Costs of having a traditional family are sky high + societal decline

That's only partially true and is also a convenient copout for timid/awkward guys who lazily complain about stuff on the internet. The incel/MGTOW movements (which seem to be closely correlated) are filled with guys who seem to have begun resentful about not being "chad" (a fictitious scapegoat) and move on to using the "decline of the traditional family unit" as a proxy for their discontent. America is still a hugely conservative place, so what's stopping them relocating to appropriate areas and having their "trad fam" there? One could speculate it's because they still harbour desires for "stacey" first and foremost, and absent that will complain on forums and blame abstractions such as "societal decline".

By what measure are we in "societal decline"? If you mean the decline in the influence of Christianity then that was inevitable due to it being superstition.

 

[Moz5x]

Oh yeah, american girls are the easiest by far.

If you're an incel in the US...just lol you have to actually try to be incel over there.

Almost every guy from UK/Oz/NZ whom I’ve spoken to over the years had the same story about their experience with American women while traveling around the US as a single guy…the girls just throw themselves at them. A lot of it is the accent. Americans love those accents. It’s proven to work in advertising here as people will pay closer attention.
If you are struggling with dating as a normal looking guy in the UK, just come to the US.

 

[disfiguredyoungman]

@Oknow Funny thing is a lot of english guys are good looking imo, they would do well outside of their island.

If I was english I would gtfo and search for a girl on the mainland.

But hey my experience with England is limited maybe it's not that bad.

Nah it's worse than you think. I lived in West-Yorkshire for 1 year. I've seen maybe 1 or 2 English girls during that time, that didn't look like ogres. But the Brits are ignorant of the rest of the world. The men think that women are supposed to look like Shrek in oompaa loompa makeup and the women think they are hot sh*t lmao

 

[doubleindemnity]

I didahtrr

I can post a sh*t of studies and statistics of various sources pointing out very clearly we are in a societal decline, just think about the rampant depressions and record breaking numbers of people taking anti depressants. And yes religion is a "superstition" but it's necessary for a healthy society imo.

And you're wrong, most men are ok with settling down the poblem is somewhere else if we look at studies and statistics.

For example:

View attachment 178769

Here are some studies:

• 5.1 Women feel sexual disgust when they imagine even talking to an unattractive man
• 5.2 Across multiple studies; attractiveness determines romantic evaluations equally for both sexes
• 5.3 70% of women would avoid someone solely based on their looks, compared to 31% of men
• 5.4 Love at first sight can be predicted by physical attractiveness
• 5.5 Only a man's looks and race matter in online dating - his personality does not
• 5.6 Looks are most important in speed dating
• 5.7 Looks are most important in video dating
• 5.8 Looks are most important in blind dating
• 5.9 It is Looks > Personality > Money for both genders, but women lie more about it
• 5.10 Your looks define perception of your personality in online dating
• 5.11 A man's personality only matters to a woman if he meets her basic looks cutoff first
• 5.12 Being unattractive reduces men's chances of finding partners, but not women's
• 5.13 In short-term dating and provided many options, women care more about looks than men
• 5.14 'Very unattractive' women are more likely to be married than other women
• 5.15 Women are less likely to use a condom with a more attractive male partner
• 5.16 A man's masculinity and physical attractiveness predicts a woman's chance of orgasm
• 5.17 A man's physical attractiveness to other women predicts his partner's chance of orgasm
• 5.18 The attractiveness gap in a couple predicts how long they wait before engaging in sex

Also funny we're talking about societal decline and here's an article from a few days ago:

Bloomberg - Are you a robot?

Five Million Men Are Still Missing From the U.S. Workforce​

"Experts say those men are “missing” from the labor force for several reasons, ranging from reduced job opportunities for the less educated to the effect of the opioid epidemic and the fact that some men would rather play video games than work."

The journalist blames it on video games...of course men playing games is a consequence/escapism. Not the cause.

All of the stuff from those studies seems to have been true for the past 50 or so years. "Societal decline" suggests that something is changing now compared with before. Do you have studies regarding that?

 

[whatevr]

Almost every guy from UK/Oz/NZ whom I’ve spoken to over the years had the same story about their experience with American women while traveling around the US as a single guy…the girls just throw themselves at them. A lot of it is the accent. Americans love those accents. It’s proven to work in advertising here as people will pay closer attention.
If you are struggling with dating as a normal looking guy in the UK, just come to the US.

That feel when you're from Europe but have a flawless generic American pronunciation and accent. Definitely such a thing as being too good at something.

 

[BeHereNow]

@Pigeon posts all of these "studies" in a haphazard manner without developing them in a cogent way to explain why they mean what he thinks they mean. He's just copying and pasting them from echo chamber incel forums where dissent is not tolerated and won't have read them himself beside the occasional abstract. It's a form of gaslighting, the "he who shout longest wins" approach, and shotgun argumentation akin to 9/11 Truthers who post massive walls of text containing weak and unstructured arguments thinking if they don't get a fully comprehensive response each time (which is clearly impossible) then they "win".

 

[Moz5x]

I’ve met people in Japan who studied at international schools as kids and their English is very American even though their parents weren’t.

 

[BeHereNow]

My sole contribution to the link posting competition is this, debunking the "blackpill": https://www.timsquirrell.com/blog/2018/7/9/debunking-the-blackpill-part-one

 

[BeHereNow]

Okay so in other words you have no counter arguments.

You have no arguments either, just spamming of links once you get out of your depth in free format discussion but your fragile ego demands a "win". Exactly the same as your anti-finasteride schtick. I can only imagine how unimpressive you are in face to face conversation, on the rare occasion you dare submit to it.

 

[BeHereNow]

Pigeon when he wants to "prove" his incel talking points: "Studies (even when I haven't read them) matter".

Pigeon when he wants to "prove" fiansteride is bad: "Studies/scientific data matter much less than anecdotal evidence on self selecting forums."

 

[BeHereNow]

I invite any outside observer to read this thread in its entirety and they will see I developed many arguments in a conversational manner in keeping with the spirt of the thread using knowledge readily accessible to me. Contrast this with Pigeon who spammed links and graphs, devoid of context or his own commentary, and I will let that tell its own story.

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

My sole contribution to the link posting competition is this, debunking the "blackpill": https://www.timsquirrell.com/blog/2018/7/9/debunking-the-blackpill-part-one

Very interesting article, cheers for posting. While the author does debunk the hardcore blackpill approach ( which is frankly, like every extreme ideology, pants on head stupid) I'm not sure if his first counterargument stands up to complete scurtiny, given the context of our current society.

He says:

"The conclusion they draw is the people are just as judgemental as their technology allows them to be.
The conclusion that we can reach, then, is that women (and men) are not inherently “lookist".Instead, they become more or less “shallow” based on the information available to them. In a situation where pictures are placed prominently, they are far more likely to judge someone on the basis of them"


First off, this is a pretty hasty conclusion to make based on the collective experience of some people going on a single blind date. A very small and flawed sample set.
Secondly, whether people are inherently lookist is irrelevant, the question is if they are lookist period. I think it's naive to assume that in a reality as interwoven with technology as ours, the widespread enabling of such a superficial value system won't have lasting effects on our mindsets. Especially on the younger generations', whose personalities are molded by constant exposure to the internet.

 

[norwood_spotter]

Very interesting article, cheers for posting. While the author does debunk the hardcore blackpill approach ( which is frankly, like every extreme ideology, pants on head stupid) I'm not sure if his first counterargument stands up to complete scurtiny, given the context of our current society.

He says:

"The conclusion they draw is the people are just as judgemental as their technology allows them to be.
The conclusion that we can reach, then, is that women (and men) are not inherently “lookist".Instead, they become more or less “shallow” based on the information available to them. In a situation where pictures are placed prominently, they are far more likely to judge someone on the basis of them"


First off, this is a pretty hasty conclusion to make based on the collective experiences of some people going on a single blind date. A very small and flawed sample set.
Secondly, whether people are inherently lookist is irrelevant, the question is if they are lookist period. I think it's naive to assume that in a reality as interwoven with technology as ours, the widespread enabling of such a superficial value system won't have a lasting effect on our mindsets. Especially on the younger generations, whose personalities are molded by constant exposure.

i think everyone with a sane mind can admit that both genders are visuals creatures and that you need to fullfill a certain looks threshold to get a food in the door and show your personality

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

i think everyone with a sane mind can admit that both genders are visuals creatures and that you need to fullfill a certain looks threshold to get a food in the door and show your personality

That's evident. I'm more interested in the effect of said technology on the dating choices of younger people. Who I think have become considerably more lookist than before, for the reasons I've previously mentioned.

 

[vondoom]

30 years ago , somebody that is degree educated , with a corporate job could easily afford to buy and live in London, where London like now was a multi cultural hub

30 years on , even if you are earning above the national average in London by x2 or 3 your salary, you are not earning enough to easily rent and save for a deposit

it’s fucked

historically poor places in London such as Peckham , Brixton, hackney etc are unaffordable for many

yeah that sh*t is happening everywhere, everything goes up, except your salary...
somehow i think the only chances you have are self employed (and got some luck), or you start in a good company and stay there forever (with raises and nonus and sh*t)...
if that doesnt happen, youre sh*t out of luck...

 

[Oknow]

yeah that sh*t is happening everywhere, everything goes up, except your salary...
somehow i think the only chances you have are self employed (and got some luck), or you start in a good company and stay there forever (with raises and nonus and sh*t)...
if that doesnt happen, youre sh*t out of luck...

might become a consultant soon , can make mega money as one