I was brutally bullied for years by sociopathic thugs in a ghetto growing up man. I know how you feel and I'm definitely scarred for life because of it. Also my social skills are subpar and I'm kinda awkward as wellI'm in a worse position than you. I was bullied as a kid and still I can't detect when people are being nice to me or messing me around. I have less social skills and might even be on the spectrum (tests indicate that I'm not and I don't think that i am... Just an obsessive personality).
I know how you feel, you're not alone trust me