Comebacks For When Someone Makes Fun Of Your Hair.

[Rudiger]

Tell the truth about how that kind of joke makes you feel and why, as precisely as you can.

Tell them your story, and if they stil mock you after that, get the hell away from those people.

At my workplace, one look was enough, then I expanded a little on my story and why yes, it should be obvious that mocking someone's appearance can hurt them like hell.

Understanding people will appreciate your honesty and stop. Whatever you do, do not try to ignore the problem because not only will it get worse but you'll be regarded as a pushover who nods and smile while he's being verbally attacked.

Just because baldness is one of the last bastion of political uncorrectness doesn't mean that you just have to sit there and take it.

Always remain civil and never start a conflict that will escalate, especially at work.

Exactly, if in a one-on-one situation.

I don't know if this topic was about group situations when someone calls you out in such a manner. This is why I said in that moment to move on as casually as possible, people generally don't appreciate someone getting made fun of and the aggressor won't be celebrated no matter how "funny" it is. It just makes things awkward when someone creates a bad environment unnecessarily, people do not like it, and unless the aggressor is very stupid, they'll realise it's not appreciated. If they haven't grown up and still want to bully you (but let's be honest not many of these types exist outside of adolescence, they are out there but the behavior is weeded out of society or maybe forced into manifesting as other more subtle types of bullying) they'll still realise they can't be seen positively by continuing to give someone sh*t when that person is just trying to move on and ignore them.

Unrelated Fred- that was an odd Dislike you gave my last post, I was just messing around

 

[Rudiger]

Oops, I didn't even know I gave you that dislike, I was typing that post on my phone so it's always easy to click on things inadvertently.

Yeah sure! Still so bitter about our old battles, reported.

 

[Funkymonk1]

And what do I say when someone mocks my hair? My hairline is receding because it's running away from you!!!1

Great way of making a bad joke while also mocking yourself.

So I brought up cocohot before because he had your attitude, and it's all very ideal sounding, but it was clear to me he never acted any of this out. Have you? And what exactly did you say? The response of others around?

I did say that I wasn't looking for an argument didn't I? Oh well I guess guys like you can't help themselves lol.
That particular joke? - "My hairline is receding because it's running away from you!" It's called being self deprecating. It's maybe not the funniest joke ever but it's showing that you're not bothered by the persons comments and that you can laugh at yourself (as well as a little dig at them). You should try it occasionally instead of taking yourself so seriously.
What is clear is that you know nothing about me but you're making presumptions based on some comments I've made on here. I have dealt with rude or ignorant people in the past with putdowns. It's not always the correct response - it actually depends on the situation/person but used in the right context they can be the correct answer. For example there was a woman at work who was known for being a bully. One day she had a big long rant at me over nothing in front of everyone. I waited for her to finish and said "sorry I wasn't listening to any of that. Can you start again?" She just looked at me and then stormed off in a huff. Everyone in the team laughed and some of them thanked me for shutting her up.

 

[Rudiger]

I did say that I wasn't looking for an argument didn't I? Oh well I guess guys like you can't help themselves lol.
That particular joke? - "My hairline is receding because it's running away from you!" It's called being self deprecating. It's maybe not the funniest joke ever but it's showing that you're not bothered by the persons comments and that you can laugh at yourself (as well as a little dig at them). You should try it occasionally instead of taking yourself so seriously.
What is clear is that you know nothing about me but you're making presumptions based on some comments I've made on here. I have dealt with rude or ignorant people in the past with putdowns. It's not always the correct response - it actually depends on the situation/person but used in the right context they can be the correct answer. For example there was a woman at work who was known for being a bully. One day she had a big long rant at me over nothing in front of everyone. I waited for her to finish and said "sorry I wasn't listening to any of that. Can you start again?" She just looked at me and then stormed off in a huff. Everyone in the team laughed and some of them thanked me for shutting her up.

I guess my tone could be friendlier but this is hardly an aggressive argument (if that's what you mean), maybe sarcastic but I'm hardly being outright rude. I'll tone that down if even that is confrontational in your book.

So if I am a bit defensive about your ideals it's because I think it's truly terrible advice that is actually harmful to anyone using it, I understand self-deprecation and like most people it can be a part of my humour eg mocking my own sh*t joke, acting dumb, joking about having a small penis, sarcastically talking about how I pump iron for serious gainz (I go to the gym), I'm a bitcoin Wall Street trader, etc.

These things are all fine because I don't care if anyone jokes about it. My hair? No, that's not acceptable, and barely anyone can say they're truly fine with it (unless kidding themselves).

Being self-deprecating about your baldness is saying to others that this is okay to joke about it, it's acceptable. So what happens? They do, more and more, because you're telling them that it's OK to make fun of something that people have no control over.

And again, you still haven't clarified you actually do make "come backs" such as your examples given.

Of course having witty comebacks is respected by people, but baldness is just impossible to create anything good that makes the other person feel stupid for getting involved with. At best you can make a cheesy gag about your hairline running away from them, it isn't funny and will just confuse them, and others, it might get you out of the situation once or a few times at best.

But for every 1 poor joke you make, they have a thousand, because baldness is just an infinite gift of potential mocking, like being short, or fat. They can compare you to so many characters and even inanimate objects, it's really so easy, and if you give out that signal that "I've won this round with my sh*t joke" they'll not only feel justified that it's okay to joke about that with you, they'll soon be doing it again, and again, and again, because you opened the floodgates, and they have an arsenal of insults to get you with later. While you pretty much have nothing, or nothing good at least.

I think everyone can relate to this situation- some baldite you know that makes constant self-deprecating bald jokes and creates an environment because he's "OK" with joking about it, everyone should be OK with it. It practically throws anyone with hair issues under the bus, because you don't feel it's acceptable to joke about, and don't want anyone else to feel like that. One guy I'm thinking about in particular is sly bald and only about 27, someone revealed to me just recently that he was depressed about his weight and also his hair, which is why he was off for 5 whole months! This is the same guy who insisted throwing us baldites under the bus every single lunch time by saying things like "the shine of my head putting you off your dinner?! HAAAaaa" and welcoming more and more abuse, but covering it up with the facade that he's so strong and secure about his hair loss.

But anyway another reason I'm defensive about your response is because I'm not necessarily saying you just stand there staring at your feet, but behave with a bit of class and change the subject. Likelihood is that people don't appreciate someone making fun of you (and if they do, you need new friends) it's only acceptable if you decide for it to be acceptable.

Any sign of retaliation will be seen as frustrated bald guy. And I guarantee you the delivery of your joke will not be convincing, because if you're in any way human they'll be able to sense the sadness in getting bald shamed.

Go to 30:40

From this thread, and I make a further dissection of this situation in the 2nd post:

https://www.gourmetstylewellness.com/intera...loss-sufferer-on-live-tv.104540/#post-1460305

I still stand by the idea that it's virtually "impossible" to say anything (and you still haven't said you've actually done so in real life and how that went, but you're happy for others to try it and advise them it's great) and changing the subject or moving on is the best option, or the least worst option really.

If anyone is taking the awful advice in this thread, and starting a new job or college etc anything with a new group of people, you will greatly regret trying to be self-deprecating about it because you open up a situation where other people can continually make fun of you because they think it's acceptable. It's just unfortunate that we have to have a barrier up about ourselves, but that's reality, and if it's just one flaw that you have, people can still forgive your personality in other ways (they'll always think your bald embarrassment is over the top and dramatic etc. but if you're relatively normal in other ways they'll overlook it).

 

[blackg]

This is more like it!

 

[Johnt1997]

Go to 30:40

From this thread, and I make a further dissection of this situation in the 2nd post:

https://www.gourmetstylewellness.com/intera...loss-sufferer-on-live-tv.104540/#post-1460305
Ouch, the pain is written all over that guy's face - you can see exactly what he is thinking.

Rather him than me

 

[Funkymonk1]

@Rudiger That was a long post! I like your passion though and you do make some good points that I agree with actually. There have been times I've just smiled and behaved with dignity as you recommend. As for the times when I've met fire with fire, well, sometimes it shut the person up, another time the person actually thought it was funny and we've been friends ever since (similar sense of humour perhaps?).
I think with the self deprecating thing, again you're being a bit insular and short sighted imo to say everyone will regret doing this and that its awful advice. I know a guy at work who constantly makes jokes about his baldness and nobody makes fun of him. If anything it's part of his charm. Perhaps it would be better to say some people would regret being self deprecating in some situations ditto some people may regret using comebacks. It's like I said ther's no right answer but it all depends on the person/situation, the tone of the comments ect imho.
I know I'm not going to change your mind because I can tell you feel passionately about this but I think we need to agree to disagree.

I know what you mean about people thinking it's ok to make fun of baldness. Someone else on here said that baldness is the last taboo; If you make fun of the fat girl or the short guy you're seen as cruel but it's ok to mock the bald guy. I think it's a macho thing; as men we're not supposed to be sensitive especially about our looks, we're meant to just "man up" and deal with it.

Andre Agassi is a strange one. I saw an interview with him where he said he used to wear a wig on court when he first started going bald and how he was terrified it was going to blow off in a middle of a match! I actually think he looks ok bald personally, I know some women still find him attractive. It does make you wonder though if it really does bother him so much why didn't get a hair transplant? He can certainly afford it!

 

[Mapleman]

The WORST of all times:
'what is on top of head doesn't matter. What matters is what is inside.' (goes back to comic books and PS4)

What is on top of head doesn't matter. What matters is having finasteride inside.

 

[Roberto_72]

I guess my tone could be friendlier but this is hardly an aggressive argument (if that's what you mean), maybe sarcastic but I'm hardly being outright rude. I'll tone that down if even that is confrontational in your book.

So if I am a bit defensive about your ideals it's because I think it's truly terrible advice that is actually harmful to anyone using it, I understand self-deprecation and like most people it can be a part of my humour eg mocking my own sh*t joke, acting dumb, joking about having a small penis, sarcastically talking about how I pump iron for serious gainz (I go to the gym), I'm a bitcoin Wall Street trader, etc.

These things are all fine because I don't care if anyone jokes about it. My hair? No, that's not acceptable, and barely anyone can say they're truly fine with it (unless kidding themselves).

Being self-deprecating about your baldness is saying to others that this is okay to joke about it, it's acceptable. So what happens? They do, more and more, because you're telling them that it's OK to make fun of something that people have no control over.

And again, you still haven't clarified you actually do make "come backs" such as your examples given.

Of course having witty comebacks is respected by people, but baldness is just impossible to create anything good that makes the other person feel stupid for getting involved with. At best you can make a cheesy gag about your hairline running away from them, it isn't funny and will just confuse them, and others, it might get you out of the situation once or a few times at best.

But for every 1 poor joke you make, they have a thousand, because baldness is just an infinite gift of potential mocking, like being short, or fat. They can compare you to so many characters and even inanimate objects, it's really so easy, and if you give out that signal that "I've won this round with my sh*t joke" they'll not only feel justified that it's okay to joke about that with you, they'll soon be doing it again, and again, and again, because you opened the floodgates, and they have an arsenal of insults to get you with later. While you pretty much have nothing, or nothing good at least.

I think everyone can relate to this situation- some baldite you know that makes constant self-deprecating bald jokes and creates an environment because he's "OK" with joking about it, everyone should be OK with it. It practically throws anyone with hair issues under the bus, because you don't feel it's acceptable to joke about, and don't want anyone else to feel like that. One guy I'm thinking about in particular is sly bald and only about 27, someone revealed to me just recently that he was depressed about his weight and also his hair, which is why he was off for 5 whole months! This is the same guy who insisted throwing us baldites under the bus every single lunch time by saying things like "the shine of my head putting you off your dinner?! HAAAaaa" and welcoming more and more abuse, but covering it up with the facade that he's so strong and secure about his hair loss.

But anyway another reason I'm defensive about your response is because I'm not necessarily saying you just stand there staring at your feet, but behave with a bit of class and change the subject. Likelihood is that people don't appreciate someone making fun of you (and if they do, you need new friends) it's only acceptable if you decide for it to be acceptable.

Any sign of retaliation will be seen as frustrated bald guy. And I guarantee you the delivery of your joke will not be convincing, because if you're in any way human they'll be able to sense the sadness in getting bald shamed.

Go to 30:40

From this thread, and I make a further dissection of this situation in the 2nd post:

https://www.gourmetstylewellness.com/intera...loss-sufferer-on-live-tv.104540/#post-1460305

I still stand by the idea that it's virtually "impossible" to say anything (and you still haven't said you've actually done so in real life and how that went, but you're happy for others to try it and advise them it's great) and changing the subject or moving on is the best option, or the least worst option really.

If anyone is taking the awful advice in this thread, and starting a new job or college etc anything with a new group of people, you will greatly regret trying to be self-deprecating about it because you open up a situation where other people can continually make fun of you because they think it's acceptable. It's just unfortunate that we have to have a barrier up about ourselves, but that's reality, and if it's just one flaw that you have, people can still forgive your personality in other ways (they'll always think your bald embarrassment is over the top and dramatic etc. but if you're relatively normal in other ways they'll overlook it).

Jesus, the Agassi joke to poor Sampras.
Can't a balding man do ANYTHING without his baldness being the subject of his own or someone else's joke?

 

[Rudiger]

And him being a former wig prisoner attacking a balding brother like that, while he perfectly knows how Sampras would react to that joke internally. That's a cardinal sin in my opinion.

I agree, he's out of the fraternity.

Andre, I know you're reading this, you're not welcome here anymore. Tell Pete we're waiting with open arms.

 

[Roberto_72]

I agree, he's out of the fraternity.

Andre, I know you're reading this, you're not welcome here anymore. Tell Pete we're waiting with open arms.

"My bald brothers" (Larry David)

 

[rclark]

That's what baldness makes some people feel like.


Although, some people are more naturally like that animal than others.

 

[Jesse Navarro]

The best comeback is in the Bible, 2Kings2.23
God is on our side

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

 

[Rudiger]

The best comeback is in the Bible, 2Kings2.23
God is on our side

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

I wrote about this once when Jesse Ventura was on Joe Rogan:

https://www.gourmetstylewellness.com/intera...does-matter-a-lot.103802/page-19#post-1441777

I loved his honesty in talking about it as revenge.

Maybe there is a God after all.

 

[KyleTroy]

Well I love what you've done with your hair! How did you get it to stick out of your nostrils like that?

I wonder how your hair gets blood supply.

My hairline is trying to run away from you!

I'm not losing my hair, I'm getting more head.

.............or you could just tell them to f*ck off!

Make it really personal

His c*** is small cuz you saw him at the gym

 

[Runninghair]

Deleted

 

[blackg]

Height is always a good one if your tall.

I heard a nw3 getting sh*t in work once (hes 6ft+) and the dude ripping him for his hair was small like 5.5.

He just calmly said “well at least i have some options like a hairtransplant.. you cant fix being a midget” to which he got great laughs especially from the women.

It shut the guy down... badly..

Havnt heard him make fun on his hair again

That was a good one. Sometimes these short fellas are the the most nagging, annoying, little smart asses out there.

 

[Saurabhaj]

Who can make comeback on this insult?

 

[doubleindemnity]

There's no comeback. The only realistic comeback is to agree with them playfully. The fact is that when somebody with hair makes fun of your hair, they're asserting their dominance. You have to accept it because, as a NW6, you're a loser in life and as a NW1, they're a winner. When you see it like this, you'll understand that people who insult your baldness are actually sincere while the people who say "just shave it and be a badass" are the ones who are really making fun of you. So yes, there's no comeback because their insult probably expressed the truth.

 

[Johnt1997]

'Well atleast I'm not a mug who has to buy shampoo every few months, I've got £5 burning a hole in my pocket...'

*uses fiver to buy tub of bleach to drink*