Concerned - Should I Say Something?

[HopeL]

I am not sure about this but I think my son might be experiencing some hair loss. It's been almost a year since I saw him last. He recently dyed his hair black, it's normally sandy blond and it looks like it might be thinning in the back. I thought maybe it was because his natural color is growing out but I'm not sure. Our visit was very enjoyable and I didn't want to ruin it with anything negative but I'm wondering if I shouldn't have asked.

Some history -
I am female, my hair started thinning about 3 years ago. I've been using minoxidil to stop the loss. My father, grandfather and my brother, all experienced hair loss from the back to the top. My father is famous for his comb over. My brother simply shaves his head or keeps it very short. My son's father has had a good head of hair - no thinning other than the natural amount at his age - 58 or so. His father - same thing, no hair loss to speak of until old age. I never thought my son would be affected due to his father's good head of hair.

So, back to my question. Should I bring this up to him? I know from my own research that follicles die and that minoxidil can keep them going. My fear is that if I don't tell him and if he really is starting down the path my brother and father did, that he'll regret not knowing sooner. He's only just turned 20 and I'm not even sure he's aware of it because it's in the back at the top. What 20 year old looks there? It really saddens me to think I might have passed this gene on to him. I know what it's like to face losing one's hair. I don't want to be an interfering mother but we are pretty good in terms of things we can talk about. I just don't want to make him feel bad or upset him. Would appreciate any advice from you guys out there - especially some his age.

Concerned Mom

 

[TheGlamorous]

Telling someone they're losing hair can go either way, depending on the person's attitude or knowlege of hair loss.

For instance, if somebody had tried to tell me I was losing hair this time a year ago, I would have told them to "F&*^ off" for two reasons. One: deep down I knew I was slowly losing hair, but it looked good, and it was fun to pretend to live in the mansion I remembered. Two: Admitting it to other people seemed like such a pathetic thing to do, as if it was sort of demeaning.

Mind you- I was only just turning seventeen this time last year. If your son is 20 then it mightn't be so bad. I can't really give much advice, only that I wouldn't have reacted too well to it personally, given my circumstances.

However if you are that desperate to save his hair you have to at least try, it'll pay off in the long run trust me. Oh and don't be sad about the genes you gave him, those were out of your control 8)

 

[Hans Gruber]

your son may react badly now,or of course he may not,but im sure he'll thank you for it further down the road.do you know about propecia? if his loss is not so bad yet then dont bother with minoxidil,its propecia that will maintain what he has,and prevent further loss.

my parents said they knew what was up with me a while back but they didnt say anything,i kinda wish they had cos i could have done with a dose of reality rather than taking my mind off it by getting drunk n high.

so long as you can give your son the knopwledge you have or point him towards these boards then im sure itll all turn out well.

i say definitely tell him

:hairy:

 

[s.a.f]

I'm sure he's noticed himself after all it is his head that its happening to.
This is bizarre for me because my parents were always of the 'pretend its not happening' view. And even when it got to the point where it could'nt be argued they just had the 'it does'nt matter/its not a problem' opinion. The fact that you feel guilty and blame yourself is very admarible. But you cant blame yourself for the way things have turned out, you've already shown to have more concern about your sons wellbeing than most other mothers.
However this just goes to show that the 'women dont think it matters' theory is BS.

 

[CCS]

it is better to risk pissing him off now that guarantee he will go the rest of his life without enjoying basic joys like dating because women don't like his hair loss.

minoxidil does not keep hair alive. propecia does. my site in my signature will give him a good overview of hair loss, and this board will also be good for him.

 

[s.a.f]

Its possible that he may be one of those well rounded individuals who ar'nt overly concerned about hairloss.

 

[HopeL]

Thank you for the replies and the great feedback.

To s.a.f. - I'm one of the women who didn't mind hair loss in my mate. I dated someone when I was in my early 20s who was fairly bald. I think what's bothering me is that I know it affects you guys. I read this forum frequently 3 or so years ago when I first found out about hair loss and had an eye opener as to the feelings hair loss produces. In women, hair is very important but I didn't realize how deep the feelings went for some men.

I must have misunderstood about minoxidil. I could swear I read that if one starts using it, it will keep what you have alive or at the least (if you're a responder) stall the process a bit. Isn't Propecia expensive? What is the regular guy with a minimum wage job and no insurance supposed to do to afford something like that? :-x

Thanks for the nice comments also. I'm not admirable...just being a mom.

 

[Guest]

Sounds very similar to me, Hope.

No one noticed my front last year, but everyone noticed me thinning at the intersection between the back part of the top of my head and the top part of the back of my head, the vertex. AND NO ONE TOLD ME. It made me so upset. I think your son would want to know in this age. Maybe 30 years ago he wouldn't because nothing could be done to stop it, but he's starting to thin in a decade where we have lots of stuff for balding. Is this the spot where your son is thinning? You should get him on meds immediately because he has a good chance of growing it back and maintaining. The longer the wait the less the chance he has.

Does his loss look like this? My head is tilted back b ut you get the idea:

 

[HopeL]

I think it's similar. And you are correct, he has more options these days. I think it's only right that I tell him. Then he can take it from there. If it isn't actually thinning, then no harm done but if so, maybe he will be able to treat it. I just hate being the one to tell him...

Sounds very similar to me, Hope.

No one noticed my front last year, but everyone noticed me thinning at the intersection between the back part of the top of my head and the top part of the back of my head, the vertex. AND NO ONE TOLD ME. It made me so upset. I think your son would want to know in this age. Maybe 30 years ago he wouldn't because nothing could be done to stop it, but he's starting to thin in a decade where we have lots of stuff for balding. Is this the spot where your son is thinning? You should get him on meds immediately because he has a good chance of growing it back and maintaining. The longer the wait the less the chance he has.

Does his loss look like this? My head is tilted back b ut you get the idea:

 

[Thinning]

Explain the options to him.

1.) He can go bald and girls wont find him attractive
2.) He can take propecia, keep his hair, keep getting girls, but might battle limp c*** and man boobs from the propecia.
3.) He can use Rogaine ( foam is ideal ), keep his hair longer ( not as long as propecia ) get girls longer, and wont have to worry about limp c***.
4.) He can use both and regrow what he has lost.

 

[HopeL]

Well, perhaps I won't put it quite that bluntly to him... :blush: But it's good to know about side effects. I'd forgotten about those.

Explain the options to him.

1.) He can go bald and girls wont find him attractive
2.) He can take propecia, keep his hair, keep getting girls, but might battle limp c*** and man boobs from the propecia.
3.) He can use Rogaine ( foam is ideal ), keep his hair longer ( not as long as propecia ) get girls longer, and wont have to worry about limp c***.
4.) He can use both and regrow what he has lost.

 

[omgstfuty]

Thinning, you complete and absolute mong

First things is first, losing hair doesnt mean you dont get less women, it may do for you because your a sad little man, who relies on hair because you have become fixated.
Blokes who become one with them selves get the best women, I can tell by the way you type you still havnt lost your virginity pal.
Dont f*****g dare and try and tar other men with your feelings about hairloss.
I personally think your a pussy,(but thats just my opinion) I fucked a stunning girl last night, I have wanted to shag for ages, and I did it by acting like a man, not a pussy worrying all the time, and I have a buzzed head.


How dare you make people feel like sh*t who come on this site,just because your inferior?? I wouldnt be supriesed that if you had a full head of hair, you would still be a moaning prick. :roll:

 

[Guest]

Thinning, you complete and absolute mong

First things is first, losing hair doesnt mean you dont get less women, it may do for you because your a sad little man, who relies on hair because you have become fixated.
Blokes who become one with them selves get the best women, I can tell by the way you type you still havnt lost your virginity pal.
Dont f****ing dare and try and tar other men with your feelings about hairloss.
I personally think your a pussy,(but thats just my opinion) I fucked a stunning girl last night, I have wanted to shag for ages, and I did it by acting like a man, not a pussy worrying all the time, and I have a buzzed head.


How dare you make people feel like $#iT who come on this site,just because your inferior?? I wouldnt be supriesed that if you had a full head of hair, you would still be a moaning prick. :roll:

Awesome. Glad I'm not the only guy who knows what a f*****g prick Thinning is.

Watch him respond with a caustic post about how you are fat and must be 15 years old and how you must be a NW5 and how he is ONLY a NW2.5 and makes 900k a year and has a super hot girlfriend. It's so predictable.

 

[omgstfuty]

Jayman its bloody obvious the guy is a weirdo, simple as.


He appears to me to be weak, and can not grasp the fact of becoming a man.
I actually pity this sad little tosser, I pity most sad c**** on thios site that preach that hairloss is bad, it may be bad for said men, because they are pussys and cant handle it.
They dont like hairloss because there f*****g ugly and in most cases very weak, very weak men, who lack character and strengh, and have been watching to much television, simple as gentelmen.Noobs reading this, life isnt as bad as said freakshow says so, shaving your head makes things in life easier....


Thinning, f*** off into your own simple little world u prick, dont bring other people down into your shithole existence.
Smile, and maybe you might have a life pal.

 

[Thinning]

WTF are you blabbing about?

You are the weak ones, acting tough on the net. Come say that in person to me, lol get your *** beat.

Anyhow if you think women dont care about hairloss, go live under a rock because you are in major denial.

And anyone brave enough to PM me I can provide pics that show what kind of shape Im in, and pics of me with my girlfriend.

Just send me pics of you so we know who is who.

Then we see who is real and who is BS'ing about how tough they are.

Otherwise stop calling me out.

 

[Skaff]

Definately tell him so he can get on treatments before it gets worse...but obviously go about it in a nice way. :wink:

I usually cut my own hair, so I noticed the first signs of hair loss well before anyone else...which was a blessing. Normally people with crown thinning don't notice until it's pointed out to them by some insensitive prick in a public setting. Fortunately, I use mirrors to see the back of my head when doing a trim (quite the skill) so knew what was happening from an early stage.

You MUST tell him.

PS... Jayman, that picture is pretty much a silhouette

 

[Skaff]

And anyone brave enough to PM me I can provide pics that show what kind of shape Im in, and pics of me with my girlfriend.

Are we talking Pam and Tommy Lee type pics here...or holiday snaps?

 

[ceee]

WTF are you blabbing about?

You are the weak ones, acting tough on the net. Come say that in person to me, lol get your *** beat.

Anyhow if you think women dont care about hairloss, go live under a rock because you are in major denial.

And anyone brave enough to PM me I can provide pics that show what kind of shape Im in, and pics of me with my girlfriend.

Just send me pics of you so we know who is who.

Then we see who is real and who is BS'ing about how tough they are.

Otherwise stop calling me out.

A guy who makes fun of people who act tough on the internet and threatens to kick everyone's *** in the same post is so rare. If nobody else does, know that I appreciate you, thinning.

 

[Guest]

I think it is your duty as a concerned mother to support your son as good as possible. In this case it means that you should talk to your son about his hair and help him preventing further deterioation. Good Luck to your son and his hair loss!

 

[Nathaniel]

I wish my mom would have told me I was starting to lose my hair that way I would have acted earlier. But NOOOOOO, my parents even denied I was losing hair when I brought it up to them after I found out. "Don't worry, hair is not important" they said..........YEAH RIGHT!!!!!