Dealing with 'Banter'

Cybergod

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One of my so called friends has started annoying me quite recently. He met my dad a while ago, and since then he's made the association with my thinning crown.

He told me the other day "wow you're balding mate" (i'm already on propecia for just over 11 months), which I just shrugged off as if I didn't know/care. Lucky for me it doesn't seem to be highly noticeable yet to other people. To be honest this comment didn't really bother me.

Now hes far from perfect himself, with a high hairline that's rapidly receding. The other day we were out and someone was really slating him over it in front of these girls. Obviously I kept my mouth shut, I try and avoid discussions about hair if possible; when suddenly out of the blue he turns to me and shouts "I don't know what you're standing there for, you're balding too", and pulled my hood down (it was cold outside). I just replied saying I couldn't hear him over his high forehead (I hate making jokes like this, but I couldn't let him get away with trying to show me up for no reason other than his pathetic insecurites).

This I could of let slide, but he did it again the next day when sober when we were out with a couple of other people. He just blurted out "Oh look at your hair you're balding". One of the other people we were with took a look at me, looked at me weirdly and just asked my "friend" what the hell he was talking about (this person happens to have one of the thickest heads of hair I've seen). I made another joke about his forehead blinding me by reflecting the sun which everyone laughed at (and I did feel bad for at the time, but he leaves me with no option).

It's not just me though, hes made comments in the past about other peoples hairlines. Yesterday we were watching a program with ant and dec in it; and he made a comment laughing about ants hair being stupid (to be honest its not much worse than his own hair).

Clearly he's insecure and he's using these tactics to probably deflect them off himself but I'm getting extremely tired of it. I'm quite sensitive about my hair, and I don't need him constantly drawing attention to it. If he keeps doing it i'm going to have to give him a taste of his own medicine and start humiliating him in public; instead of defending myself. I'd rather avoid doing this so was wondering if there was any advice on how I should handle this situation?
 

PepperJack

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Cybergod said:
One of my so called friends has started annoying me quite recently. He met my dad a while ago, and since then he's made the association with my thinning crown.

He told me the other day "wow you're balding mate" (i'm already on propecia for just over 11 months), which I just shrugged off as if I didn't know/care. Lucky for me it doesn't seem to be highly noticeable yet to other people. To be honest this comment didn't really bother me.

Now hes far from perfect himself, with a high hairline that's rapidly receding. The other day we were out and someone was really slating him over it in front of these girls. Obviously I kept my mouth shut, I try and avoid discussions about hair if possible; when suddenly out of the blue he turns to me and shouts "I don't know what you're standing there for, you're balding too", and pulled my hood down (it was cold outside). I just replied saying I couldn't hear him over his high forehead (I hate making jokes like this, but I couldn't let him get away with trying to show me up for no reason other than his pathetic insecurites).

This I could of let slide, but he did it again the next day when sober when we were out with a couple of other people. He just blurted out "Oh look at your hair you're balding". One of the other people we were with took a look at me, looked at me weirdly and just asked my "friend" what the hell he was talking about (this person happens to have one of the thickest heads of hair I've seen). I made another joke about his forehead blinding me by reflecting the sun which everyone laughed at (and I did feel bad for at the time, but he leaves me with no option).

It's not just me though, hes made comments in the past about other peoples hairlines. Yesterday we were watching a program with ant and dec in it; and he made a comment laughing about ants hair being stupid (to be honest its not much worse than his own hair).

Clearly he's insecure and he's using these tactics to probably deflect them off himself but I'm getting extremely tired of it. I'm quite sensitive about my hair, and I don't need him constantly drawing attention to it. If he keeps doing it i'm going to have to give him a taste of his own medicine and start humiliating him in public; instead of defending myself. I'd rather avoid doing this so was wondering if there was any advice on how I should handle this situation?

Uh. If I were in your shoes I'd nip it in the bud. I'd tell him those comments--especially in public and infront of women--are unacceptable and not to do it again--ever. If he asks why, you could tell him you don't like it (you don't need to explain further). If he responds that "he's only joking," you could tell him you don't give a damn that he's only joking and you won't tolerate it. If this was my crazy friend, I'd draw the line for him and tell him he's not to cross it. Then, if he did it again against my wishes in public I'd do an about-face immediately and leave him wherever he may be to sit by himself in the restaurant, bar, or wherever we may be--even if I drove us there--he'd have to find his own way home.
 

BrightonBaldy

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I find it easier to deal with people being idiots than I do dealing with people who try and pretend they dont notice, who be polite. I'm alot less comfortable in situations where somebody is describing a bald person on tv and doing everything possible to avoid the B word or when I get apologetic glances my way when mentioning hair cuts.

Dealing with your mate above is easy and you know it.
 
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