Disturbed by new girlfriends love for my hair

[deg_dilemma]

I don't mean to highlight the irony here but hiding something as significant as a hair system from your life partner was always going to lead to a failed relationship. Honesty above all else, and vulnerability between partners leads to strength.

 

[deg_dilemma]

The sad truth is that once you start wearing a system you can no longer really enjoy the frisson of a woman (or man as the case may be) running their fingers through your hair. I miss it.

I had a girl who I told (somewhat obliquely) about my system, and she also became a bit obsessed about it. The feel of a new system is silky and tactile, and she would run her fingers through it when we were on our own or even in company. Also, I think she liked being in on my "secret". I tried to put her off, telling her I was sensitive about it and didn't like it touched, but she did it anyway. I suppose in a way it was a good thing, because it meant she equated the system with nice natural hair - something to be felt and enjoyed in an intimate setting. I got used to it when we were on our own, but I was always on edge if she touched it in company in case she would do something to make it obvious it was a system.

You're a lucky guy Noah - I wish my wife felt my hair like that. Or I wish I had a mistress who did

I would add that with a UTS system, which is usually fully bonded, the break between bio hair and system ridge is almost imperceptible. So if you're hiding the system from a new partner or a fling, then it's not a problem at all for her to feel through your hair.

 

[JaneyElizabeth]

I'm going bald and none of my friends can tell read the breathless advertisement in the sports section back in the 80's. It would have been better I'm going bald and even my wife doesn't know!

 

[jimlad]

Are brand new systems very noticeable? I’m not a wearer (yet) so intrigued to know!

Not really if they're styled down, but this was when I'd just woken up - it did look ridiculous!

 

[jimlad]

It's more the contrast with the old system, which depends how much you raked the old one before you replaced it. Some guys really give their pieces a hammering, and leave it till it's starting to look a bit ratty before they replace it, and then of course there is a big contrast. (To be clear, I'm not saying Jimlad does this . It's always tempting to conclude that it looks OK and just leave it that bit longer rather than spend money to replace it, but it's better to get into a regular pattern of retiring systems before they start to deteriorate visibly.

This is what I do now - always dump it a month before it gets really ratty. That way, you always look good, and you get to keep a stock of emergency system from the old ones.

 

[J9907]

My girlfriend lives with me and has no idea, even when I did the transition (I had hair but took the leap early). I told her a bit about it but didn’t go into much detail just said I’m getting something done for my hair as I’m starting to thin but I told her at the time that its a quite a sensitive topic for me so I would appreciate if she wouldn’t make a big deal about it because it will look thicker. She has only ever complimented and said how great it looks but doesn’t realise it’s not my hair. Sometimes I will wear a beanie around the house (even for days) when I have it off and I’ve said that there will be times I need the bathroom for a while. She’s been really chilled about it all which has made me consider just coming out about it.

 

[Noah]

My girlfriend lives with me and has no idea, even when I did the transition (I had hair but took the leap early). I told her a bit about it but didn’t go into much detail just said I’m getting something done for my hair as I’m starting to thin but I told her at the time that its a quite a sensitive topic for me so I would appreciate if she wouldn’t make a big deal about it because it will look thicker. She has only ever complimented and said how great it looks but doesn’t realise it’s not my hair. Sometimes I will wear a beanie around the house (even for days) when I have it off and I’ve said that there will be times I need the bathroom for a while. She’s been really chilled about it all which has made me consider just coming out about it.

She sounds like a keeper .

 

[Mystery411]

The secret to not having women mess with the hair:

1. put a lot of product in it. Trust me..they won’t touch it, even during the big “O”

2. say you have a scalp condition

Both work just fine. Or you can be honest, but I reserve that for women I’m going to be serious with.

 

[9982]

So, I'm pretty recently divorced. 15 year marriage. The ex wife did not know about my system until about half way through the marriage and that's only because I decided to tell her. Which she did not care.

That said, I now have a girlfriend since my divorce. She is constantly giving me compliments. She always says she loves my hair. This bothers the hell out of me. I'm not ready to get into the whole fake hair conversation with her yet. I definitely will tell her but when the time is right. In the meantime these hair compliments are driving me nuts. Can anyone relate?

Just say it's fake and laugh.period. At least you were honest. Now you are free.

 

[Fanjeera]

The secret to not having women mess with the hair:

1. put a lot of product in it. Trust me..they won’t touch it, even during the big “O”

2. say you have a scalp condition

Both work just fine. Or you can be honest, but I reserve that for women I’m going to be serious with.

Lots of product draws attention to it and makes it look fake. Also most products are probably bad for the hair, because they contain alcohol. I can only think of paste, wax, poumade or the spray-in conditioner we use anyway.

 

[Mystery411]

Lots of product draws attention to it and makes it look fake. Also most products are probably bad for the hair, because they contain alcohol. I can only think of paste, wax, poumade or the spray-in conditioner we use anyway.

I use Pantene alcohol-free hair spray #3. It gives the feel of strong hold hair spray, without ruining the unit. My systems last 9 months (18 months with 2). They are French Lace. Also, they never look fake (if you do it right). I used to cut hair, so maybe I have a better eye for this stuff than most.

 

[nahte42]

I can relate to the feeling of awkwardness over the compliments. I’m 25 and reached a Norwood 7 by age 23, and always wore hats to cover it up because I knew I looked like an old guy from the shoulders up.

Since starting to wear hair systems I’ve been getting looks and attention like never before and have had girls and guys tell me I have a “fuckboi” haircut going on. It’s absolutely crazy how important good hair is to the attractiveness of a young guy. I used to downplay it, and so did others. Said it was no big deal. But sadly it is.

I don’t know how to handle all the new attention I get now. I’m not super outgoing and am a little nervous about eventually telling girls what’s going on on my head. lol

 

[Mystery411]

I can relate to the feeling of awkwardness over the compliments. I’m 25 and reached a Norwood 7 by age 23, and always wore hats to cover it up because I knew I looked like an old guy from the shoulders up.

Since starting to wear hair systems I’ve been getting looks and attention like never before and have had girls and guys tell me I have a “fuckboi” haircut going on. It’s absolutely crazy how important good hair is to the attractiveness of a young guy. I used to downplay it, and so did others. Said it was no big deal. But sadly it is.

I don’t know how to handle all the new attention I get now. I’m not super outgoing and am a little nervous about eventually telling girls what’s going on on my head. lol

Yeah, I can’t imagine being your age and telling women. While I look very young (the hair helps ha), and date women between 25-35, I’m close to 50. So, I definitely feel less stressed about it. If it makes you feel better, my stylist says most of her newer clients are in their 20’s, so it’s becoming more accepted (we have a ways to go, but it’s happening).

 

[nahte42]

Yeah, I can’t imagine being your age and telling women. While I look very young (the hair helps ha), and date women between 25-35, I’m close to 50. So, I definitely feel less stressed about it. If it makes you feel better, my stylist says most of her newer clients are in their 20’s, so it’s becoming more accepted (we have a ways to go, but it’s happening).

Oh yeah, it’s definitely more accepted. I don’t tell people unless they ask specifically about it. And when I do, if they use the word toupee, I explain it’s a *system* and that it’s taken from samples of my hair and blended with it, because I lost my hair due to medication that I took for a condition in my teens. That’s how I talk about it and leave it at that.

I’m not interested in superficially dating people for looks anyway. I do my own thing in life and when the ride or die comes along she will not base her commitment on the fact I have some hair enhancement. That’s the way you have to look at it. I’ve already had my casual period. I’m on a deeper mindset now.

 

[Fanjeera]

I can relate to the feeling of awkwardness over the compliments. I’m 25 and reached a Norwood 7 by age 23, and always wore hats to cover it up because I knew I looked like an old guy from the shoulders up.

Since starting to wear hair systems I’ve been getting looks and attention like never before and have had girls and guys tell me I have a “fuckboi” haircut going on. It’s absolutely crazy how important good hair is to the attractiveness of a young guy. I used to downplay it, and so did others. Said it was no big deal. But sadly it is.

I don’t know how to handle all the new attention I get now. I’m not super outgoing and am a little nervous about eventually telling girls what’s going on on my head. lol

Right now the fringe and combing everything forward is in fashion luckily. Best time for a hidden hairline.

 

[Fanjeera]

I use Pantene alcohol-free hair spray #3. It gives the feel of strong hold hair spray, without ruining the unit. My systems last 9 months (18 months with 2). They are French Lace. Also, they never look fake (if you do it right). I used to cut hair, so maybe I have a better eye for this stuff than most.

I've been looking for that hairspray forever. No place sells it.

 

[Mystery411]

I've been looking for that hairspray forever. No place sells it.

Damn, that sucks! It’s the only hairspray that doesn’t dry my hair out, gives a good hold and actually smells great! (No strong odor)

 

[TooBad]

Loreal elnette is great.

 

[Fanjeera]

Damn, that sucks! It’s the only hairspray that doesn’t dry my hair out, gives a good hold and actually smells great! (No strong odor)

Where do you get it?

 

[Mystery411]

Where do you get it?

Grocery store or CVS. Have you tried Amazon?