Felling pretty low....

[Guest]

I'm starting to panic a bit now about my hair loss, it is kind of taking over a bit. It's very clear it has got worse over the last 3 months than at any other time since I started to lose my hair. Clearly I hope this is down to finasteride. It f*****g better be and it all better grow back.

Thing is when a man loses his hair all he thinks about is turning into an ugly person who will not be able to get a girlfriend. Well my girlfriend is stunning and this is what is killing me. I f I lose my hair I feel it will ruin the relationship as I will be so pissed of about it. I really don't want to lose my hair.

My girlfriend is always paying me big compliments, which lifts me greatly, so this is kind of in the back of my mind and makes me not worry about hair loss. Then on the other hand you only have to look in the mirror to change that.

I love her and she loves me, what I would hate to do is wreck a relationship just because I am pissed off about my hair loss. She is so comfortable with me the way I am, she is not at all worried about my hair loss. The problem is I am and I don't think I could handle it if my hair just went to crap in the next couple of months.

I hope and pray that there is some light at the end of this tunnel.

Has anyone here lost there hair at the temples only for it to grow back even better. I need perking up to convince me that everything will be OK.

 

[ryangern]

traxdata i cant really offer u any help but i am in the same boat you are, i have an amazing girlfriend shes gorgeous i mean gorgeous and she compliements me all the time, but i understand exactly how u feel the hair loss pisses me the f*** off and i am so stressed out about it i am a dick to everyone, i hate it, we need to pray as well as beleive in these drugs to help us thats pretty much all i can say its in gods hands. Losing it everyday makes me feel uglier i know what ur saying, even tho i know im not ugly, it lowers mys elf esteem which does put alot of stress on a relationship, i also feel like if i break up with this girl or if we ever split that im not going to be able to find another gorgeous girl like this because i am too concerned about my hair loss to have teh confidence that attracts these types of girls, im only 19 i love this girl to death but iim not sure if im going to marry her i just dont want to cut myself short you know what i mean?

 

[Guest]

It kills me when my girl says I'm stunning and that I am the best looking bloke in the pub and all that stuff. I'm a very humble person and never think I am better than everyone else. But my girlfriend seems to think so. I'm 36 and she is 30.

The same goes for her though. I tell her she is stunning but she does not think so. So it's both of us that think we are not good looking but the both of think the other is stunning. f*****g weird or what I would say.

I am a very confident person in general but when your hair loss goes beyond a certain point then it starts to eat you up. I have been very happy with my hair over the last year. It's just the last two months that makes me feel like this. It really has started to look sh*t.

 

[Troymaclure]

This is a big fear of mine too...i'm fairly good looking with hair, my girlfriend think's i'm good looking, and she knows about my hairloss thing and it doesnt bother her...so why does it bother me? I mean, i'd still keep treating it but according to her if it still goes then no big deal she'd still find me as attractive...but...would she? This must be a guy thing, i thought it was just me but obviously not...i mean, i thought that once i got a girl who said she loved me for me then i wouldnt care so much about hairloss but, funny thing is, now i care MORE...because i want to keep her and she's only ever know me with hair, how will she feel in a couple of years if i have to shave it?

 

[Guest]

Exactly. Hair is very important as it frames the face.

But I suppose I do have one good thing on my side. My girls ex husband was ugly and bald. In fact all the guys she has been out with have been ugly in my opinion. She says I am by far the besting looking and all that stuff. It does fill me with confidence when I am with her, but it's when you are on your own you start to wonder, for Christ sakes, even her friend wanted me to get my c*** out the other night.... then you think... my hair must look great and I must look great.

It plays serious mind tricks with you as you feel you can have great hair one day and then sh*t hair the next, you can feel and look great one day and then sh*t the next.

I hate hair loss...

 

[Troymaclure]

soooo...did you get it out for her then

Yeah i hate the uncertainty that comes with it, with regards to how you're going to look...makes it hard to commit to plans which girls *hate* more than how a guy looks, which is the funny thing about it all. I go on holiday to Spain on Boxing Day for a week, and i'm pretty much dreading being in a strange apartment, with strange mirrors, and heat, and windy beaches etc. heh i'm gonna be uptight all the time, instead of just enjoying it like everyone else does :-x

 

[Guest]

Nope, did not get it out. My girl was there also. We were all getting pissed up. Although my girl was giving graphic examples of how big I was. Her friends eyes lit up big time.

I feel a threesome coming quite soon......

 

[Guest]

This is a big fear of mine too...i'm fairly good looking with hair, my girlfriend think's i'm good looking, and she knows about my hairloss thing and it doesnt bother her...so why does it bother me? I mean, i'd still keep treating it but according to her if it still goes then no big deal she'd still find me as attractive...but...would she? This must be a guy thing, i thought it was just me but obviously not...i mean, i thought that once i got a girl who said she loved me for me then i wouldnt care so much about hairloss but, funny thing is, now i care MORE...because i want to keep her and she's only ever know me with hair, how will she feel in a couple of years if i have to shave it?

Girls find the horse-shoe hidious.

She is no different. If you donned the "horseshoe", she'll probably be looking for another man elsewhere.

 

[Troymaclure]

If you donned the "horseshoe", she'll probably be looking for another man elsewhere.

not if you give her good head, or have a big knob like Traxdata....

3some...cooooool - we've discussed it half-jokingly but i get the feeling she could be persuaded...how hard can it be? I reckon it'd be cool, a bit of fun

 

[Molecular Help]

Hair loss the ultimate enemy of your perception of your own youth, vigour, and attractability. It really has nothing to do with a more "old" approach to life and relationships.

Your girlfriends who still love you despite your hair loss love you for other reasons. If all they cared about was their ability to attract good looking men, they wouldn't be in a long term relationship with a balding man. Women in general often view relationships as either moving toward increasing commitment and fulfillment or stagnant... in the latter case, you may be asked the dreaded question "Where is this going?"

Trax, you admit that it would be your own head that would end your relationship. That extensive hair loss would drive you so insane that you couldn't possibly sustain a relationship. I think this feeling, something I've confronted myself, comes from the mentality that you must be able to attract good looking women by your looks alone. Though you're in a good relationship, you're much like the husband with three kids who refuses to get a visectemy- there's just something inherently "old" about renouncing the ability to go out and attract a beautiful young girl that instinctively we are totally opposed to.

This brings me to my point.

Since time is the enemy with hair loss, if you find yourself feeling total dread with the encroaching inevitability, you should break up with your girl friend and go out and try to f*** as many good looking women as you can, irregardless of any other lacking qualities. I notice a common theme in the posts in this thread: that you believe that currently you are attractive (or at least, not ugly), but that soon you won't be able to get a date because of your hair loss. If you thought you were ugly to begin with, you wouldn't really be worried about it as much. So, while there is still time, you need to exorcise your need to be superficially attractive through sexual conquests. If you don't, then hair loss will continue to mess with your head to a debilitating degree.

The initial reaction is that you don't want to break up with your girlfriend, because not only is she a hottie, but you also enjoy her company, otherwise you wouldn't be with her for any length of time. This makes sense- in fact, if we were like most people with hair loss, who aren't affected mentally to the extent we are, staying with the girl would be clearly the thing to do.

But the concern here is even with the current relationship, which is great, it's with the ability to attract women afterwards should the relationship end for any reason. And since you're already thinking about that possibility, and the situation becoming ever more difficult as you lose more and more hair while still with your girlfriend, you need to go out and do it to death. You don't want a commited relationship right now- if you did, you wouldn't be worried about being able to attract women superficially, because that just leads to sex. While the girl you have may be wonderful, this type of relationship is just not beneficial to your psychological health right now.

I realize this reasoning seems immature and selfish (I'm sure that's how your girlfriend would describe it). Hair loss is an issue of aging- we consider it a sign of physical decay and unattractiveness, though it physically does not affect any of the components of our personality that actually sustain real relationships. We consider our hair loss to be pre-mature. It affects us negatively because we, as young men, have the need to attract women. We need to be a stud- instinctively, we are in the spawning period of our lives in which we are programmed to try to spread our genes as much as possible. There's nothing we can do about this. Though as young men we do enjoy relationships that go beyond sex, we still have the need to be attractive to attractive women. We still try to catch their eye, even if we are fulfilled.

To accept hair loss we have to get over this. Hair loss ignites a mid life crisis no matter how old you are- you wonder if you've really lived your life fully as a young man should. You're not ready to make the change to a middle aged man, by definition someone who can't get a hot girl unless he's rich.

I'm not trying to say that just because you get dealt the hair loss card you need to become a middle aged man. But you do need to accept that as you become noticibly bald, you will no longer be perceived as you were with a full head of hair. You will no longer be as superficially good looking, and it will be much harder to attract the girls you once did simply with your looks. What sort of women do you get with your looks alone? Superficial ones. Girls that are not relationship material. Sport-fucks. Not relationship material. The girls that match your personality, that you enjoy spending time with (and the feeling is mutual) you can still get with or without hair loss. They're the ones that matter.

So if encroaching hair loss is bothering you, you need to sow your wild oats, get some stds, get it out of your system. Then you can move onto the world of relationships without the baggage of hair loss dogging your identity. Don't stop taking propecia though!

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the great post Molecular Help. I just typed for about 15 minutes with a response. Then hit the back button by mistake...... AArrrrggghhhhhhhh.

Cut a long story....

We both love each other; I know she does not give a toss about hair loss in men. I don't think I will look ugly if my hair loss gets worse. If I feel attractive on the inside then that will be pushed out on the outside. It's just the fact that I lose me hair that pisses me off. And it's only the last two months that it has worsened due to the shed. I hope it can recover and then I will be happy again.

In fact if I look back a year and a half I remember looking in the mirror and being horrified. Yet today I have a really nice girl. So maybe I am fooling myself into thinking my hair loss is worse than it actually is. This is what people are telling me. Maybe I'm too critical and too sensitive.

If I were to just shag around then that would make me feel worse. So empty inside. I need a loving relationship and I have this right this very minute.

I need to pull out of this negative state and start feeling good about myself again.

Thanks again for your great post. Much food for thought....

 

[Brasileirao]

Trax,

Things will come around man...you have your girl, your health and your family. Now, your hair may feel like crap some days and great on others, but you still have hair on your head that can be saved and some day a cure will come around.

Hope all is well!
Tony

 

[Guest]

thanks man.....

 

[Rust1]

It plays serious mind tricks with you as you feel you can have great hair one day and then sh*t hair the next, you can feel and look great one day and then sh*t the next.

Yes I hate that. One day you look in the mirror and you say what's wrong with me, my hair is fine....the next day feel like you've got 12 hairs on your head and the wind's blowing....

 

[jason566]

..At least u guys have a g/f..and there gorgeous..me I got myself and my freakin prolems and hairloss..Im probably gonan be alone forever..unless i date a fatty..so sucks..maybe i should become a monk..

 

[UPsideDown]

bah! forget the monk route... become a pornstar! yes! get laid n get paid!!

peAce!

 

[Guest]

bah! forget the monk route... become a pornstar! yes! get laid n get paid!!

peAce!

thought about that one already. GF says I would make a good p**rn start... MMmmmmmmmmm

 

[oni]

Yeah pornstar and catch HIV then you will not be worrying about how many hairs you have left it will be T-cells :shock:

 

[UPsideDown]

true... however since HIV can stay dormant for as long as 10 years they will have a cure for HIV and Hairloss.. w00t! therefore take that hard earned cash from tapp'n *** for that past 10 years and you will be able to afford the treatments!!!

STR8 Trip'N!

 

[Bone Daddy]

..At least u guys have a g/f..and there gorgeous..me I got myself and my freakin prolems and hairloss..Im probably gonan be alone forever..unless i date a fatty..so sucks..maybe i should become a monk..