Gardener's Product Review: Chewbaca Technique - Day 7 report

[The Gardener]

In the interests of furthering science, I am playing the role of guinea pig and trying the infamous 'Chewbaca Technique' and stopped whacking off, cold turkey. I've been on the wagon for 7 days, 7 long f*****g days, and here is my report.

First off, no signs of enhanced regrowth activity... YET.

For a little historical context, I normally released my valve once every day or two, as I have been officially single for a few months now. I am dating someone and we haven't 'gone there' yet, but it is imminent.

'Chewbaca' and some other posters have mentioned that masturbation drains the body of 'chi', a term in Eastern medicine for a sort of inner energy. Well, let me tell you, if this is what it feels like to have an increased level of 'chi', then the Chinese forgot to mention that increased 'chi' not only gives you additional energy, it makes you want to f*** like a motherfucker. Right now, I have twin supernovas inside my ball sack. I got hard just turning on the hot water valve in the shower. I have 'chi' coming out of my f*****g nostrils. Right now I'd f*** an armadillo if it looked at me the wrong way.

I haven't noticed any 'increased energy' as a result, but I can say that I think my head is a little clearer.

I do have a date with the little lady on Saturday and she has hinted at intimacy. The timing could not be better. I sense the makings of the Perfect Storm.

 

[Lizzad]

The indefatigable Gardener, who would have thought that a hair loss site would have spawned a being with such ubiquitous excellence in every post he executes. :toma:

Gardener for President and leader of the free world? :yeah:

 

[GeminiX]

Gardner, class post as ever!

I'm going to be chuckling all day...

D

 

[The Gardener]

The indefatigable Gardener, who would have thought that a hair loss site would have spawned a being with such ubiquitous excellence in every post he executes. :toma:

Gardener for President and leader of the free world? :yeah:

Cheers, Lizzad... lol... It's really good to hear from you. You do know that you were the first person to respond to the first posting that I made on this website. I hope you are doing well!

Gemini... keep on keepin' on. You have one of the most compelling stories of anyone on this board and it is great that you have shared with us.

Now, please excuse me so I can change out the cold packs I have stuffed in my briefs. Seriously, I haven't whacked off in a week. I am ON the Plan Chewbaca, and the chi is flowin'!

 

[Lizzad]

The indefatigable Gardener, who would have thought that a hair loss site would have spawned a being with such ubiquitous excellence in every post he executes. :toma:

Cheers, Lizzad... lol... It's really good to hear from you. You do know that you were the first person to respond to the first posting that I made on this website. I hope you are doing well!

Oh yes i remember well, that post was heading onto page 2 with no replies, but i saw the potential in you, in he who would one day be King. One could say i groomed you, but then that would sound too Micheal Jacksonesque. Oh hell, lets cut to the chase...I own yo *** biatch! :mrgreen: :laugh: nfire:

ps. i hope you've been taking good care of Cassin while i've been away!

 

[snake20]

LMFAO

Gardner, that was some funny fuckin sh*t man!! I hope your "perfect storm in the making" goes great for you!! Damn, that was some funny fuckin sh*t.

Still laughing.........

Keep on keepin' on!

 

[blueshard]

You are gonna finish way too quick if you don't release the lion out of the cage before the date.

 

[21gone]

Dont go out with a loaded gun Gardy, it is bound to misfire!

 

[trev]

Hey Gardy

Why dont you try shooting your load all over her hair, and check for thickness in a few weeks time, let us know and we can all start shooting our load on our heads, or we can buy it from you already made, you could be a millionaire this time next year!!

 

[GeminiX]

I can see the packaging now...

"Gardy's Semen Serum - Loin fed spunk to hairy head hunk"

D

 

[hardcastle]

Good luck with that, Gardener. Let us know how it goes.

I've heard varying reasons on the masturbation theory. One site I saw said that masturbation steps up the level of testosterone in the body, thereby - I guess - providing more fuel for DHT.

What I don't understand about this theory is how masturbation would be any different from actual sex. Seems to me that since the basic process is the same, your hair wouldn't be able to tell whether you were alone or accompanied, and the only real effect on hair growth could be achieved by utter abstinence. But I'm not a chi expert, so maybe those Chinese guys knew something I don't.

And this also begs the question: is going through life with a raging desire to hump everything in sight worth a possible slight increase in hair? Because I'd have to think pretty seriously about that one.

 

[The Gardener]

Ha ha... you guys are too funny.

Well, I must say that I don't truly believe the theory about not wanking helping with hairloss, but I was just curious what it would be like to live life as a non-wanker. I must say, my balls feel gloriously rejuvenated, and I feel like someone sprinkled pixie dust in my ball sack. It must be the 'chi'. The down side is that I get hard every time a nice rack or *** passes my office doorway.

I was walking behind one of the girls here who has a really nice figure, and while walking she casually caressed her hips to straighten the fabric of her pants, as they were 'buckling' a bit as she walked. Boing! That was all it took. I had to drop in somewhere, make an immediate emergency landing, and find a place to hide until it wasn't visible anymore through my khakis.

And this also begs the question: is going through life with a raging desire to hump everything in sight worth a possible slight increase in hair?

Well, today it's more of a physical thing. I think my libido has calmed down a bit as compared to yesterday, and I'm actually not thinking about it as much.

No regrowth, yet.

 

[shay]

holy sh*t

holy sh*t! thats it, now i know my problem since i got married i have bashed the bishop a lot more in fact at least four times a week!

hence getting married has made my hair fall out, it all makes sence now hair starts to go grey within a few weeks of my marrige then starts to receed tnen starts to fall out as regular sex goes off the menu.

forget the big 3 stay single you'll get a lot more sex and probably keep ya hair!!

regeime
buy flowers for the wife
do the washing up
keep the house tidy
say yes love to everything.

 

[Chujgcha]

...

 

[Chujgcha]

...

 

[drinkrum]

Gardener,

With your pipes overloaded, you gotta make sure the "perfect storm" doesn't turn into the "quick lightning bolt". That'd be a big bummer.

D.

 

[dead]

Gardener:


c*** report ?


over


Ty

 

[Guest]

Gardener,

Can you add a poll to this thread or create a new one in which we can all try and predict how long you go until you say f*** it and 'oil your bat'.

Methinks if you have the will-power to resist the urge you may end up mucking in your trolleys whilst you sleep within a week or so.

Try not to empty those bins man.

All the best,

Neil

 

[hardcastle]

On the up side, at least Gardener doesn't have any libido issues.

Sigh...

 

[Guest]

On the up side, at least Gardener doesn't have any libido issues.

Sigh...

Stick a small root vegetable in your anus.

That should sort out any erectile dysfunctia.