Getting First System On Friday And Terrified...

[zakmandoo]

Hey all - looking for some advice. I’m getting my first hair system in Friday and I’m scared to death about what to do about my coworkers and what they’ll think. I shave my head every day, so the idea of showing up to work with a full head of hair is giving me a lot of anxiety.

What did you tell people? If you were upfront about your hair system, how did you tell them? This is by far the biggest barrier for me, and I’ve even contemplated quitting and getting a new job where my new coworkers won’t realize that I’m wearing a system...

For now, my plan is to use tape and a weaker bond, so that I can remove it before I go back to work, in case the anxiety is too much. But I really want to do this for myself, because I think it will help my self confidence and I’m really excited about the idea of finally having “hair” again.

Any advice on how to deal with this would be great! Thanks!

 

[Noah]

If you are going from bald to fully hirsute within the same group of people, then the only way is to confront it, prepare for it, and keep it light. There are millions of guys in the world who are not happy with their look as a bald man and therefore they wear a system to improve their look. It’s not a crime. It’s a slightly daring metrosexual step to take, but that can be a strong admirable thing. The key thing is that if everyone is going to know, you have to own the process, be open and proud about it. If it was me, I would be giving it a bit of fanfare. If you are active on instagram, do a mock-up of your bald head and your head with a fun hairdo on. Maybe do several - the Brad Pitt, the Leo DiCaprio, the Shawn Mendes. Then announce that you are fed up being bald and you are getting some fake hair added. Tell them you will be documenting the process, so watch this space. Then maybe take some photos of your process on Friday, so when you walk into work on Monday everyone will know what to expect. It will be a one-day wonder, and people will move on.

 

[PJH1967]

I am out and proud about wearing hair and have found people very accepting of it and actually very curious about the whole process.

I look at it like 'so I may have a bad hair day but hell at least I can go home and change mine' .. as Noah said keep it light and wear it with pride.

 

[BaldBearded]

It really depends on how drastic the change is. I went out on holiday with just a ring of hair (having shaved my head almost non-stop for 24 years before), coming back to the office with 14" of hair, in a Viking topknot. There is probably no more of a drastic change of look story on this forum.

I let people close to me know that I was doing it, why? People here, in Israel, are VERY direct, and I wanted to avoid the potential for being ridiculed.

Now, after more than a year of wearing, the style is a bit more subtle, and most people who have met me after, since then, don't have any idea.

I tend to fully disclose to most everyone I get to know that it' a system. Why, because for me it's being to say "this is a choice", like makeup, clothing, jewelry, or any another adornment (including tattoos or visible piercings). It's a two-fold thing, one I want to promote the idea that there is NO shame in being bald, and two, there is no shame in wanting to wear hair.

No, I don't expect most of you to have that attitude. You want to cover up a balding head and look (and feel) that you have hair, and that's cool.

In the beginning, I was extremely anxious about it. Having long hair (after having no hair for decades) was tough, especially under the middle eastern sun. When I see pics of myself from the beginning (I had some really bad attachments), I cringe. Now, I am much more secure. What took hours to accomplish (remove/attach and style) now takes minutes.

Just remember, you will be your own worst critic. Most people won't really care or pay attention.

Good luck, we are here to support you.

S.

 

[Jalal]

I understand that one of the biggest anxiety sources for someone getting a hair system is how it is going to be seen by the surroundings and how you will answer to the question "what did you do to your hair?" while feeling the less ashamed as possible, especially at work, where you have to show up every day. As Noah mentioned, there are a few tricks you can do to smooth the transition and reduce the light being shed on you and all the interrogations.

That being said, you should acknowledge the fact most people have this tendency of worrying about what other people think, so they spend a lot of time visualizing how they are seen to others, to the point they do not pay attention to changes that others make.

I was in your situation 1.5 months ago, I installed my first hair system on a Saturday, went out the same night and went to work with it on Monday.
At work, of the people I had some interaction with that week:
- around a half didn't dare to ask anything, although I could tell they were wondering what has changed? or whether anything changed? so I didn't have to answer anything and I spoke to them as usual "how was the weekend blabla"
- around a quarter told me something like "nice hair cut man, you shouldn't shave it like before but rather let it grow" (so they didn't even notice I was losing hair in the first place)
- the remaining quarter are those who I'm close with, I explained briefly without any shame or anxiety and moved on.

Since then there are no more people wondering whatsoever, and I'm super happy with the system.

So my advice is, free yourself from the weight of what your entourage will think, it's an unnecessary inconvenient weight to hold that stresses you out. Show up fearless to work, more confident than before, and if people ask, you decide if you want to tell them depending on how close you are. Many celebrities, sports professionals etc. have a hair system, it's common.
To acquaintances I just said I did a Charlie Sheen (or an Antonio Conte, although he also did some hair transplants, but who cares) and moved on.
Even girls who inject botox in their faces, lips augmentation etc. manage the transition well, considering that 1. It's a surgical and (almost) irreversible change and 2. often the results after are not necessarily better than before. Here you are doing a non surgical procedure that you can revert whenever you want and it will very certainly make you look better/younger than before, so just think of the enjoyment you will have instead of how people will confront you!

Good luck on the installation of the system, i'm sure you will greatly enjoy it!

 

[zakmandoo]

Wow - thanks so much for the reply! It gave me a big confidence boost! I think you’re right...I just have to own it. Still very nervous, but hopefully I’ll feel confident enough to wear it to work on Monday!

 

[zakmandoo]

Haha wow, sounds like you’re transformation was intense! Don’t know if I could pull off a top knot, but your experience was super inspirational. Definitely feeling more encouraged!

 

[Noah]

Good luck man. Come back and tell us how it went.

 

[jimlad]

I'm a month in to my transition but haven't been back to work yet (I'm a teacher, I'm not just hiding!).

A couple of things that you should know:

- You will feel like the system does not look good when you first see it. You will think it looks 'wiggy' and too dense. It's a strange feeling having that much hair after having none. This is absolutely a shock reaction, and one that will wear off in time. Try not to freak out, and remind yourself that the emotions you are feeling are exactly the same as that of every other person who has ever got started in this process.

- The first few interactions will be awkward - FOR YOU. Others will mostly be wrapped up in their own life dramas to notice or care that much. The reactions I've received so far from friends, co-workers and family have ranged from not noticing, to compliments on how longer hair makes me look younger. I've had a couple of people give me a funny stare, trying to work out what's changed, but apart from that, nothing. The only person who I genuinely think know it's fake is my grandma, but she accused me of wearing a toupee before I even got one!!!!

- There is a middle ground between being fully honest (like what the guys above suggested) and hiding it completely (which I'm sure is what you want to do). When I first went out to a social event wearing mine, I told myself that the evening could be one of awkward explanations, where I get caught out and have to admit to wearing hair. The thing is that even if people spot it, you don't need to tell them anything unless they ask. It's not like when a woman gets hair extensions, she walks into a bar and announces it like a pregnancy or an engagement. If, at any point, a friend or co-worker decides to ask you up front, you can always tell them there and then, and explain that the reason you've kept it a 'secret' is because nobody was interested enough to ask. This is my tact anyway.

- You are about to embark on the learning curve of a lifetime. I can guarantee your path will be different to mine, so I won't go into huge detail on bonds, tapes, bases etc. But just keep in mind that the gurus on here are known as such because they have done an almighty shift as hair-wearers and know the process inside out. Such wisdom takes time to cultivate, but fortunately for you and I, they are willing to share it with us newbies! Keep in contact with support networks like this forum and grow from the knowledge and insight it provides. I'm a new poster on here, but I've lurked for a long time and I'm amazed by the amazing amount of patience and kindess that goes into answering the concerns that people have.

Finally, the transition is a b**ch. You won't feel right wearing hair at first. But being bald sucks too, and you've made a very good, very brave decision to act in the way you have. Continue to be courageous in your pursuit of the thing you want.

 

[hair4meTomorrow]

Let us know how it goes!

I was not terrified - I went into it expecting to have a "this is my thing, leave me be" attitude. The reality was it didn't look right (as everyone says). I had no idea how to do maintenance (Make sure you know how! With some basic supplies too). And walking into work was actually horrifying.

The reality is though in years to come I want to have been happier knowing I tried something. I look far far younger with this unfortunately. And I've gained so much confidence in doing a lot of the regrooms myself over time. That has helped massively. (Start small: Just redo your hairline after a week or so.. Ask for more information if you need some links).

Unfortunately man, you have every right to be nervous. But you also have every right to live your life how you want.

 

[Hairconomist]

Best of luck man, I'm going through the same thing, getting my first hairpiece on Saturday. I don't think it's really hit me yet what I'm about to go through. The only advice I have for you is: we are all our own worst critics, especially when it comes to the way we look.

 

[zakmandoo]

So true. It hasn’t really hit me yet either, tbh. I’m so excited, but super nervous! My hair loss is the #1 thing I’m self conscious about, so I have a ton of anxiety about how I’ll have to explain or rationalize my decision to my friends, family, coworkers, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I'm super excited about the self confidence it will give me, but dang...I can’t stop thinking about all the awkward conversations I’ll have to have! I feel like I’d rather move to another city and start over than have to explain it to everyone haha

 

[kyuss]

It's already been brought up, but I want to stress that you may not be happy or confident immediately after having your piece installed. This is completely normal. After I got my system installed I went home a spent a few hours pacing around my apartment wondering if I should just remove it and put my hat back on. Do yourself a favour and stick with it and you will thank yourself later. There is no sense being unhappy and bald if you don't have to.

As for telling people, I have always been open about it and haven't had one bad reaction. Of course some people are going to be curious, but there is nothing wrong with wearing hair. Living life on your terms and putting your happiness above your coworkers should be a first priority. After a couple of weeks both you and everyone you know will simply accept your new look for what it is.

There will be a bit of a learning curve. It might take a few weeks or months, but once you get the hang of things you will be wondering why you didn't do this sooner. That was certainly the case for me.

 

[kashmoney]

Let us know how it goes! I just made my appointment for my first system for October after being on the fence for almost a year. Incredibly nervous but also excited to finally get a full head of hair after so long!