Having Full head of hair would change my life

[qball01]

never implied you hated yourself...sorry if you thought I meant that...but at the same time, you clearly do have some internal issues (as do I and a lot of men) that go way beyond just how you look. You realize that in the back of your mind you are telling yourself "I'm too ugly to attract good looking women"....if you don't think that having that default mindset affects how you interact with women then YOU are the one deluding himself. You're not acknowledging instances where guys who may not be great looking can still get with a variety of women....it DOES happen. And in those cases, the guys have to be more confident and unapologetic than good looking men! They can't be thinking of themselves as unattractive and unworthy of women because that WILL show up when they're talking to women! Yeah, a good looking guy has it a lot easier, but women CAN pick up on how a man is feeling inside and when you feel like you're not worthy...it will show up eventually, even if you can fake it for a while.

You said yourself...you've had ONE good/relaxing night out in the last 2 years....well you don't think that can be part of the problem other than just your looks? If you can't be laid back and chilled out when you go out then you're not going to be able to do and say the things necessary to attract a woman...ESPECIALLY if you're not a great looking guy. In that case, you have to have more dominant personality traits than an attractive guy but often times men who aren't great looking don't give themselves permission to act like they should because they think they're not worthy.

And BTW, most men judge themselves as uglier than they actually are so I don't even by the rationale that you're so ugly...care to post or pm a pic for proof? I really doubt you OR dudemon are close to as "ugly" as you say you are, but you THINK you are so that creates a huge problem.

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Would rather words were not put into my mouth, where did I say i hate myself?

Whats true for one person may not be true for anoher, for me the sad truth is that hairloss made me ugly and being ugly is a turn off. Its near impossible to get a woman to speak to you, nevermind flirt, most here know the score.

There will always be couples that dont appear to match to us onlookers, works with both sexes. I'm sure theres thin women who wonder why a handful of men want fat women, it is far from normal. Just because one guy likes fatties, it doesnt mean we all do.

Theres always exceptions.

Just because a bald guy was lucky to find the 1% baldy loving girl, it doesnt mean the other 99% dont care about looks.

Just how ugly can you really be? If you say you were good looking before your hairloss, then I cant imagine you being that bad after.

If you feel ugly, then take better care of yourself.

I honestly cant see I meet or see many ugly people. To be really ugly is something. Its rare. Most people are more or less average. And young people are generally better looking. Obvoiusly I cant say for sure as I dont know what you look like. But you sound like your massivly overestimating.

If anything, if you really do feel that it has taken a notch of your looks, then you might want to rethink about the type of girl your going for. You say only fat/ugly girls will accept you, but thats probably a gross overestimation as well.

To be honest, I used to have very high standards. And I still do in some respects. But im starting to just realise that waiting out for a perfect girl is a fruitless ambition that is unlikely to be realised. More often then not, there are girls about that arent all that bad and are willing to get with you. Im learning to play the cards I have instead of beleive in a fantasy of attaining 8s or 9s. Its not a healthy way to think.

And besides, as I grow older, I begin to find different types of women bueatuful. Ever seen the movie shallow Hall? Im not saying to that extent, but its a similar idea. That once you become less vain and shallow, you will find many sorts of women attractive if you become a bit more open minded.

Since my hairloss, my standards of girls have definitly transformed. I dont go for perfect-looking girls only. Ill go for different types. I remember once starting a thread on here asking if people would be willing to be with a bald women, and most said no. I personally thought that was pretty hypocritical. I for one would keep an open mind about things and be open to all possibilities.

 

[Boondock]

Dude, why not just get a bloody hair system and have done with it? Is a grand a year and 2 hours' maintenance a week really as bad as living this woeful existence?

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Would rather words were not put into my mouth, where did I say i hate myself?

Whats true for one person may not be true for anoher, for me the sad truth is that hairloss made me ugly and being ugly is a turn off. Its near impossible to get a woman to speak to you, nevermind flirt, most here know the score.

There will always be couples that dont appear to match to us onlookers, works with both sexes. I'm sure theres thin women who wonder why a handful of men want fat women, it is far from normal. Just because one guy likes fatties, it doesnt mean we all do.

Theres always exceptions.

Just because a bald guy was lucky to find the 1% baldy loving girl, it doesnt mean the other 99% dont care about looks.

Just how ugly can you really be? If you say you were good looking before your hairloss, then I cant imagine you being that bad after.

If you feel ugly, then take better care of yourself.

I honestly cant see I meet or see many ugly people. To be really ugly is something. Its rare. Most people are more or less average. And young people are generally better looking. Obvoiusly I cant say for sure as I dont know what you look like. But you sound like your massivly overestimating.

If anything, if you really do feel that it has taken a notch of your looks, then you might want to rethink about the type of girl your going for. You say only fat/ugly girls will accept you, but thats probably a gross overestimation as well.

To be honest, I used to have very high standards. And I still do in some respects. But im starting to just realise that waiting out for a perfect girl is a fruitless ambition that is unlikely to be realised. More often then not, there are girls about that arent all that bad and are willing to get with you. Im learning to play the cards I have instead of beleive in a fantasy of attaining 8s or 9s. Its not a healthy way to think. Im not saying getting with the best looking chicks becomes impossible. But im just saying that perhaps you need to look at the type of chicks your going for.

And besides, as I grow older, I begin to find different types of women bueatuful. Ever seen the movie shallow Hall? Im not saying to that extent, but its a similar idea. That once you become less vain and shallow, you will find many sorts of women attractive if you become a bit more open minded.

What I like in girls have definitly transformed in the last few years. Perhaps partly due to hairloss, but I think its a healthy sign of maturity. I dont go for perfect-looking girls only. Ill go for different types. This isnt just me lowering my standards; it was a natural thing. I just find women attractive in different ways. I remember once starting a thread on here asking if people would be willing to be with a bald women, and most said no. I personally thought that was pretty hypocritical. I for one would keep an open mind about things and be open to all possibilities.

If you can find people attractive as a whole, then I think you will be able to feel that you are yourself attractive as a whole. I have been into a real variation of women, and not all conventionally attractive. I think a lot of this has to do with validation. Ie, if you get a beautiful women, youll feel better and it will solve all your problems. But it doesnt work like that. Find beauty in the ordinary and unglamouros women, and you'll be happier.

(I do want to concede however, that perhaps, due to my lower self confidence over the last few years, it might be that subtly, what I find attractive has somewhat altered. I mean, did you ever think about how really ugly people become attracted to one another? Its weird.)

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Thats what I love about this forum, people will say anything to deny that baldness makes men hideous to the opposite sex, how could you possibly know better than me whats going on in my head?

I havent actually said I consider myself very very ugly and I acknowledged that sone baldies can pick up anyone they want, that reply above could be a cut and paste job from almost every thread on here, as if my agreeing baldness is uglifying automaticaly gives me the same character flaws (ie depression, poor self image) that others do even if I dont post as such.

Everything Ive posted is reasonable and doesnt require further analysis of my well being, just because I'm uglier now it doest mean I hate myself, in the same way that just because a bald guy meets a girl who doesnt care about hair, it doesnt naturally mean the reason we all dont is because we arent confident or make enough effort.. its because the vast majority of women like hair and the bald guy was lucky to find the rare one that doesnt care

 

[KANGA]

Just because a bald guy was lucky to find the 1% baldy loving girl, it doesnt mean the other 99% dont care about looks.

Man, I'm so glad your perception isn't reality.

Though, you probably make it your reality by letting hairloss consume you.

Sorry man, there's no sense in debating with you; you seem to have a certain view on things and refuse to believe otherwise.

I'm going to leave you with a quote from Napoleon Hill.

Know this: that which you imagine, expect and visualize in your internal world is that which gets produced in your external world.

 

[barcafan]

Kanga is pretty much correct. Your beliefs shape your reality, no question about it. That's why people with fucked up self reinforcing negative beliefs never end up being happy and just live in depression. If sh*t makes you depressed, its you, not society; there's always something you can do about it. It's like being depressed whenever it rains, it's not under your control so there's no point of being depressed about it. this is coming from me a guy well on his way to a NW4 already.


I know nobody really gives a sh*t what some wanker has to say, but just my opinion.

 

[sadscalp]

Wow, some guys' perceptions of the world in here really are pretty messed up. And this is coming from a 23 year old NW3 (and I mean the REAL NW3, not like some of the fake NW3s in here, I'm talking serious receeding) with significant thinning on top who hasn't had a girlfriend since elementary school. f***, I haven't even made out with a girl since I was like 14, and I have several issues which go beyond "just" losing hair. And this despite I've always been fairly pleased with how I look, even though I'm far from a model.

You really think 99% of the women out there really care that much about whether a guy has hair or not? Well, then your thought pattern is seriously messed up, and I'd recommend you go see someone, a psychologist or whatever.

You think your looks have gone from a 8 to a 4 (!) because of the hair you've lost (which I find really hard to believe), and it bothers you that much? Make it up in other ways. Hit the gym. Get a tan. Wear makeup. Buy a f*****g toupee if it helps.

Seriously, this constant negativity doesn't do anybody any good, least of all yourselves. It's okay to have a setback, and not feel good about yourselves and vent in here, but writing crap like "99% of women don't like baldies" is just pointless, because it's so far from the truth it's laughable. And nobody here wants to read sh*t like that when we're trying to deal with our own baldness. I've had setbacks too. There are times when I feel that I look like sh*t, and I just want the world to end. But then I realize that it has much more to do with my attitude and lack of confidence than it has with my actual looks. Which is true, it's just hard to believe sometimes.
Breaking a negative pattern is one of the hardest things to do in life. I know, because I'm currently going through it. But take comfort in the fact that everyone has issues. Every single human being on this planet, hair or no hair. It might not seem that way, but rest assured it's true. You feel that people are looking at you while you're walking down the street? They're probably thinking the same thing. People look at each other, it's human nature. You think that good-looking thick NW1 with the hot chick on his arm doesn't have any issues whatsoever? You're wrong, and he might even have more issues than you can fathom.

I'm ending this with a Tyler Durden quote:

We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't.

That's right, we probably won't. All we can do is be the best we can. It's a cliche, but it's true.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

As we are all having a last word on this I'll have one too.

Everything I've posted here has been from personal experience, its impossible for any of you dispute that I get a different reaction from the women around me now I have no hair.

I promise you folks theres nobody more philosophical about the world, our perceptions of it, the power of our own minds and our superficial society than me on here, no matter how much I believe it I can never change the fact that the women finding me unattractive HAS changed my life.

At no point have I said I'm depressed, I hate myself or that looks mean everything, I think most of the replies accusing me of that have come from members who have just read about 40 pages worth of blokes moaning they cant get their leg over and assumed I'm in the same boat.

The topic asked would it change your life to have all your hair back... the answer is YES. That doesnt necessarily mean my life is a massive pile of horse sh*t at the moment, it just means my life would change.

If I asked any of you (KANGA) would winning a few million on the lottery change your life, then you replied 'yes it would', I wouldnt preach about the best things in life being free, you being caught up in our manufactured consumer society and claim it was sad that you felt you needed millions to be happy. Nor would I claim instead of saying yes winning millions would change your life, you should concentrate on other aspects- such as having a love for nature and being good to your friends and family, things you don't need money for.

Yet when answering a simple question about hair, I get exactly that sort of response, theres no question having a full head of hair would change my life.

We're all in the same boat here, we'd all love to be NW1's and have all the extra money we've spent on treatments back in our pockets, it goes without saying. Not everybody who admits that is depressed.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Wow, some guys' perceptions of the world in here really are pretty messed up. And this is coming from a 23 year old NW3 (and I mean the REAL NW3, not like some of the fake NW3s in here, I'm talking serious receeding) with significant thinning on top who hasn't had a girlfriend since elementary school. f*ck, I haven't even made out with a girl since I was like 14, and I have several issues which go beyond "just" losing hair. And this despite I've always been fairly pleased with how I look, even though I'm far from a model.

You really think 99% of the women out there really care that much about whether a guy has hair or not? Well, then your thought pattern is seriously messed up, and I'd recommend you go see someone, a psychologist or whatever.

You think your looks have gone from a 8 to a 4 (!) because of the hair you've lost (which I find really hard to believe), and it bothers you that much? Make it up in other ways. Hit the gym. Get a tan. Wear makeup. Buy a f****ing toupee if it helps.

Seriously, this constant negativity doesn't do anybody any good, least of all yourselves. It's okay to have a setback, and not feel good about yourselves and vent in here, but writing crap like "99% of women don't like baldies" is just pointless, because it's so far from the truth it's laughable. And nobody here wants to read sh*t like that when we're trying to deal with our own baldness. I've had setbacks too. There are times when I feel that I look like sh*t, and I just want the world to end. But then I realize that it has much more to do with my attitude and lack of confidence than it has with my actual looks. Which is true, it's just hard to believe sometimes.
Breaking a negative pattern is one of the hardest things to do in life. I know, because I'm currently going through it. But take comfort in the fact that everyone has issues. Every single human being on this planet, hair or no hair. It might not seem that way, but rest assured it's true. You feel that people are looking at you while you're walking down the street? They're probably thinking the same thing. People look at each other, it's human nature. You think that good-looking thick NW1 with the hot chick on his arm doesn't have any issues whatsoever? You're wrong, and he might even have more issues than you can fathom.

I'm ending this with a Tyler Durden quote:

We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won't.

That's right, we probably won't. All we can do is be the best we can. It's a cliche, but it's true.

For 23 years old, you are very wise and know very much how this world works. I agree with all that you said. Unfortunately, alot of the posters have failed to follow in your footsteps. It good that you know your problems and know what you have to do to resolve them. Hopefully these people who around your age can learn from you. All I can say is :bravo: to you.

 

[barcafan]

It's alot easier to blame everything but yourself. just victims of basic human psychology.

 

[BitchBoy]

even the Mona Lisa is falling apart...

 

[Smooth]

f*** Mona Lisa, give me my hair! ><

 

[uncomfortable man]

If I asked any of you (KANGA) would winning a few million on the lottery change your life, then you replied 'yes it would', I wouldnt preach about the best things in life being free, you being caught up in our manufactured consumer society and claim it was sad that you felt you needed millions to be happy. Nor would I claim instead of saying yes winning millions would change your life, you should concentrate on other aspects- such as having a love for nature and being good to your friends and family, things you don't need money for.

Yet when answering a simple question about hair, I get exactly that sort of response

Good observation Brighton. That's because this site is filled with people who just live to dispute anything you have to say like it was a debate. They don't care about trying to help you, all they want to do is prove you wrong. It makes them feel smart and wise and superior like they are taking some moral high ground when all they are doing is being patronizing and condescending. I have much experience dealing with people like this here. It's funny how some people here think they know more about myself than me like they are some sort of authority but I guess that is the risk you take when you decide to open your feelings on the internet.

 

[Obsidian]

The same could be said for you and previous posts as well, don't pretend that your opinion doesn't stink as well.

 

[uncomfortable man]

The same could be said for you and previous posts as well, don't pretend that your opinion doesn't stink as well.

Thanks for illustrating my point Obi...see what I mean Brighton?

 

[DoctorHouse]

UM, Obi is just "toying" with you because he secretly likes you........................................................................ :whistle:
I secretly like you too but I don't need to "toy" with you.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

UM, I dont need anything quoted at me to see theres a fair number on this site who are living in denial.

Hairloss has changed my life, it cant be denied.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Dudemon, spot on.

Of course 99% is an exaggeration but it isnt an extreme one, it isnt far away from 95%...(!) :whistle:


My own hairloss has been aggressive over the past 3 years, its not as if I'm recalling my youth when I say women treat me differently, even though my head was shaved random girls loved running their hands over it.

Everything I've posted on here is from experience, recent experience at that, I can identify fully with those on here who are in the same boat.

Those who say it doesnt make a difference and believe women dont care are clueless, women do, almost every single one of them. You can be as buffed, rich and confident as you want, if theres no initial attraction then you'll always been seen as a buddy and thus unattractive.

 

[Boondock]

True enough, and I guess you have options once you've reached that stage. If you find someone among the 5% who don't mind bald guys, and then go out of your way to do well in your career, you won't have too many problems. It's just a lot more work than being a non-Norwood.