How being Ugly has given me Confidence

[CaptainForehead]

When I was young, I used to feel inferior to my smarter company at college/at work.

Now, however, ugliness has set me free. Many of my superiors are not that handsome. This realization gives me confidence,
that no matter what they do, or how successful they are in their domain, there is an invisible barrier of physical beauty they cannot break. There ARE a few who are both handsome, and smart, and they do quite well with the ladies, but I now get that a large part of their success is due to the genes of aesthetics they were born with. That a not so intelligent handsome dude would fare not so worse off.

It also has changed the way I interact with women. Having accepted the condition of being incel for life, there is now no cause for me to feel intimidated by them. I don't have a need of their approval. I instead enjoy watching other dudes make fools of themselves.

Of course, an adverse side effect is that now I have no passion for work, seeing that if were successful at work, I would still be low on the SMV chain . I have to pretend at work that I care. There were many years where I did not pretend, and I slacked off; I payed heavily for it (fired from a job, had difficulty finding new ones..). The lesson was learnt. Put on a mask and fake it. Acquire skills, even if you have no passion for them, so that you will be wanted.

I am dead inside. But I got confidence.

 

[Nadester]

IMO you don't look like a very happy guy.
Even im ugly but im not as negative...
*remembers still a nw2 and only 18*
*Awkward*
Thank you for sharing

 

[hellouser]

Confidence is a byproduct of predictability.

But this is the least desired type of confidence. You know how people say to you 'if you like that girl, just go up to her and be confident' However its such bullsh!t advice. Be confident? ABOUT WHAT? The fact that you're bald and repulsive to women? Sure, you can be confident that THAT is going to turn them away from you.

But CaptainForehead hits the nail on the head. It's not a matter of being 'negative' its a matter of accepting reality; yeah, those privileged with socially desired physical traits fare MUCH better in life than those that don't. And bald men should be the FIRST people to recognize that!

I made comment in relation to this in another thread, here's my original comment:

The only way to get a true answer from women is either to get inside their head and mind read or listen in on private conversations amongst women themselves. But even then, it's not conclusive as women themselves havent got a fvcking clue of what they want.

Put it this way, the better looking you are, the more likely it is that a woman will overlook any negatives about you (laziness, lack of education, etc). However, as we all know that baldness is somehow a cardinal sin, it CAN be 'tolerated' by women so as long as you have either money or status. But, make no mistake, you are at their mercy and can be ditched for a better suitor.

Despite this... women are allowed to have fake nails, fake faces with paint roller makeup, fake hair with extension, fake height with heels, fake eyelashes, fake skin tones, fake tits and fake personalities.... and they want a 'REAL MAN' ?!

Have any of you seen the show 'Love Lust or Run' ?? I honestly empathize with some of the women... particularly this one:

[video=youtube;Oadv3xZS8-0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oadv3xZS8-0[/video]

Listen to how she breaks down when she takes off all the makeup and hair. Pay attention to the part at 7:00. She's in tears and says

I've never been good enough. I don't know how to like myself.
...People don't care about that [her accomplishments]. They judge you for the way you look, they don't care what's in here, they don't care. And I'm proof that everyday of my life it doesnt matter how good of a person you are on the inside, its what you look like on the outside.

This woman gets it, because its true, people really are that shallow despite all the efforts that people will make to say the contrary. Notice how Stacey (the show host, and btw, I find her ridiculously sexy) says people will judge you within the first three seconds of meeting you? Well, its true. Now try that as a bald or balding man approaching a woman, or a job, or a social circle and making friends. So now, while the woman in the video can hide her imperfections behind society's tolerated use of makeup and everything else, what is unfortunate for us bald men is that there is NOTHING for us and if we try to be open about it or seek help we are treated like second class citizens. The day, if it ever comes, we get our hair back, just like the woman in the video says about herself, will still be a long road ahead of us to fully understand our positive change to our natural selves both physically and psychologically as the damage from society is very deep.

 

[CaptainForehead]

^^ Excellent post

And I'm proof that everyday of my life it doesnt matter how good of a person you are on the inside, its what you look like on the outside.

I don't think that people don't care about what is on the inside. It's rather that they have a (low) threshold, and once you satisfy that threshold, THEN they do not care about additional improvements, and focus instead on looks.

 

[swingline747]

LOVE stacy London, love that white strip in her hair, BIG turn on.


anyway on topic. Acceptance gives you a sense of freedom but at what cost? Either way, take some MMA courses and just become a lightweight (dont really know your weight) fighter to get some girls. Never fight an ugly guy.... they have nothing to lose.
No passion at work is just your line of work, it has nothing to do with looks but honestly I think if you were confident and happy you'd strive to be the best and exude passion at whatever you were doing because you are good looking and people would be enthralled with whatever you were doing.
Looks trump know how in everything tho. I could get any job when I was better looking. Didnt matter what I knew. As long as I talked the talk they figured they would train you in whatever. In order for brains to trump you literally have to be an autistic savant in a field. You need credentials so good it blinds everything else.
Girls always go to looks unless they themselves are not really lookers. Same thing as a job, girl figures she can train you for the position.
Maybe you need a hobby you like that you can turn into a small side business. I have a few of those. That will give you some passion in a field you can lean to.
Also you dont have confidence.... you are very far from that.
What you are is bottom. Not caring is not confidence, its just not caring. Ive been in both worlds. Both can be nice tho.

 

[hellouser]

LOVE stacy London, love that white strip in her hair, BIG turn on.
View attachment 31426

I need to get this off my chest: but the more i think about it, the more my ex resembles Stacy physically. We still keep in touch on a regular basis and hang out, but for some reason, despite my attraction to Stacy (i think shes pretty damn hot) I *dont* get that feeling for my ex. Is there something wrong with me?

 

[swingline747]

I have a very ugly friend, and women just won't ever consider him a romantic candidate. He's a NW1 though but his face is really messed up.

All the women do to him is befriend him because he's very funny, then pretend like they're best friend with him. But allow him to touch them? Forget it, they would call the police.

I guess a lot of women put ugly men in the friendzone to look like they're not shallow to society. How about giving these guys a chance to sweep you off your feet ladies?

Oh you're not attracted to them?! Then don't give those poor unattractive guys false hope! My ugly friend has been taken advantage of so many times by manipulative females it's not funny.

Women always want to seem like nice persons who are attracted to features that go beyond looks, like personality you know. Please. At least men are upfront about what they want in women.

Well at least they are not being just horrid b****s and ignoring him period. Also "false hope" is not a real thing. If that was the case then every girl I was friends with in my past would have justifiable right to think I was a misleading a hole.
I just read an article about men and false signals and how men have been programmed through instinct to respond to ANY signal as a sexual advance. Its theorized its because men do not want to lose a possible opportunity to spread their genes. Accurate....? Who knows.

How is your friends face busted?
Also sometimes being funny when you are not attractive is not always a good thing. Maybe he should try being witty instead.
I mean would you give THIS girl an opportunity to sweep YOU off your feet?



This is a mild case, the first pic i wanted to use wouldnt post.

Either way at my local pet store where I buy my aquarium stuff there is a little blonde girl who is CONSTANTLY flirting with me. Young too which is weird cause there is obviously a 10+ year difference (her being younger) if I dont shave.
Either way she has AWFUL acne. LIKE AWFUL. She would be passable if not for this but either way, my buddy was telling me she obviously wanted "it" but
1) didnt want to cheat on the GF
2) could not imagine kissing her and then hitting some of those pimples.

I am not mean, even semi flirtatious back to her. I dont do this for false hope but because I want to be nice to her. There are OBVIOUSLY prettier (MUCH MUCH prettier there) girls working there but why would I be mean or put offish to her and affect her obvious self esteem more than it prob is?
I would rather give her a confidence boost so she can deal with those uber stuck up pretty white girls. In fact I wait for the day one of the prettier girls in there wants to be a b**ch and tried to flirt with me in front of her so I can snub them hard.

get what Im saying. Maybe in your friends female friend's minds they are thinking the same way.

- - - Updated - - -

I need to get this off my chest: but the more i think about it, the more my ex resembles Stacy physically. We still keep in touch on a regular basis and hang out, but for some reason, despite my attraction to Stacy (i think shes pretty damn hot) I *dont* get that feeling for my ex. Is there something wrong with me?

no why would there be?
My ex's look like a lot of people. Sometimes I find the girls they look like hot and not them anymore and sometimes its reverse. Your brain has been branded.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

Remember Rebecca Adlington, the double olympic swimming champion from the uk being specifically targeted for her big nose. Didnt matter that she is one of the greatest swimmer ever, and has a masters degree, no having a crooked nose deletes all that. The poor woman caved in and had surgery......doesnt make a difference, they will only fixate on something else.

 

[Nadester]

When you are politically correct, your social quotient is high.
When you are honest, you REPEL majority of people and those who are with you, THEY ARE DIAMONDS.
This forums is awesome bcoz of it.
That and it has better looks then the other hairlosd forums.

 

[hellouser]

Remember Rebecca Adlington, the double olympic swimming champion from the uk being specifically targeted for her big nose. Didnt matter that she is one of the greatest swimmer ever, and has a masters degree, no having a crooked nose deletes all that. The poor woman caved in and had surgery......doesnt make a difference, they will only fixate on something else.

John Inverdale made some really shallow remarks about Marion Bartoli (a female tennis player) that because she's ugly, she's going to have to compensate. Here's an audio recording:

[video=youtube;_c_oxL0kTzI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c_oxL0kTzI[/video]

It's really fvcking sad that the media would push this disgusting agenda that your existing amongst society can only be validated by physical beauty. That a**h** should have been FIRED.

 

[lkm370]

Although I generally agree with the OPs original post, most of history's greatest people were either ugly or normal looking. I know all too well that being ugly sucks but even in the throes of my worst depression I never thought it could stop me from doing something I was really good at. Most of the bosses at my jobs have been fatasses or baldies so I have a hard time believing this could hinder me but I dont want a job in the corporate world anyway

 

[doublebatman]

Remember Rebecca Adlington, the double olympic swimming champion from the uk being specifically targeted for her big nose. Didnt matter that she is one of the greatest swimmer ever, and has a masters degree, no having a crooked nose deletes all that. The poor woman caved in and had surgery......doesnt make a difference, they will only fixate on something else.

I saw her on some sports programme. She seems pretty chill, she's built like a brick ****house. I'd love shoulders that wide

 

[swingline747]

Again, the problem is not that girls don't want ugly guys, it's that they like to pretend otherwise. They want to seem less shallow than men.

Of course I wouldn't let that ugly girl sweep me off my feet, but I would tell it like it is.

Women will pretend things like "No but if he is confident and smart, I won't mind dating him."

BS.

guys do the same ****. I wont tell that poor girl I wouldnt date her because of her acne. I would make something up (if i was single)

I think what you are thinking of to is the difference of guy and girls and SEX.
I guy always thinks openly about the sex first. Ugly chick = no go cause I wouldnt want to sleep with her. Hell if a chick is hot and the sex is good guys will put up with some crazy ****. Even marry a girl.
Girls dont USUALLY think about jumping in the sack first. In the long run MOST girls wont put up with a guy they are not mentally attracted to as much as a guy with a girl whos not their equivilent. I speaking rules and exceptions.

so in a girls dumb mind they are thinking long haul, if the guy was nice and sweet and kind, but their physical instincts still wont let them get that far to find out whether they admit it or not. Guys also dont seem to catch as much crap socially when being shallow. Maybe if we as people could accept yes women are shallow as well and not crucify them for it they would be more open. But in the end would we want that? Do some guys like believing they have that one in a million shot.

 

[SayifDoit]

There's this girl at my workplace whose face is literally covered in acne, kind of sad really, she'd be pretty good-looking otherwise. What's weird is she has like tremendous cleavage, I think she does it to distract from her face...well it works....lol!
Lets face it though there is a BIG difference between a ugly girl and ugly guy, one is practically involuntary abstinence and the other....shoot lower....
I wonder which is which :hmmm:

I consider myself to be ok looking, nothing special. I definitely get more attention than the more ugly guys....

 

[bilboswaggins]

Being attractive, no, being simply normal-looking for your age is a requirement to have a normal dating life.

Yep, I know heaps of guys who are VERY average being able to pull girls quite easily. These are the short (5'7), slightly out of shape dudes but are all nw1.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

If average and below average men woke up tomorrow knowing they would never have a chance, there would be way more mass-shooting.

But they won't, you will still see the same chumps every week at the entrance of the night club thinking "Tonight is my night, I will land a hottie!"

I don't want to sound like I'm bragging but, since I got my hair back, I'm pretty much cruising through easy dates. The difference to my bald period is night and day.

It's so easy I don't even think or obsess about it anymore, I just know that anytime I feel like it, I can set up a date with a girl and bang her.

No more "what will she think about the fact that I'm bald?" and other worries of that kind.

Being attractive, no, being simply normal-looking for your age is a requirement to have a normal dating life.

Young bald men will have to compensate (like I did when I was slick bald) to get the bare minimum of female affection.

Hmmm, dating isnt a problem when bald, but attaining a relationship out these "dates" is.

 

[CaptainForehead]

anyway on topic. Acceptance gives you a sense of freedom but at what cost? Either way, take some MMA courses and just become a lightweight (dont really know your weight) fighter to get some girls. Never fight an ugly guy.... they have nothing to lose.

I did martial arts for several years, unfortunately I was not good at it. Then I started lifting weights, was also bad at it (as in difficult to gain strength), but I have kept at it. Screwed up my back permanently in the process by pushing too hard.

Also you dont have confidence.... you are very far from that.
What you are is bottom. Not caring is not confidence, its just not caring.

Perhaps.
I indeed have lost interest in most of the things in life. Now, if I am to do anything, apart from binge watching TV serials, the activity must better me somehow. Otherwise I don't see the point. As a result, I have zero interest in watching sports and similar crap.

 

[billybob mcdougal]

That's what I've found out. Women's tendancy to hypergamy is very strong. You may land her but there is a little voice inside their head who will constantly badger them with:

"Why are you with him? He's bald! Didn't you pay attention in Sex and the City?! Bald men are losers, you can do better! You find yourself a tall stranger with a full head of hair now! You go girl!"

They all wake up eventually. And the hotter they are, the more they will take pleasure in reminding you how worthless you are when breaking up with you.

Women have social status to adhere to. A man bald is not exactly arm candy!

 

[bilboswaggins]

I did martial arts for several years, unfortunately I was not good at it. Then I started lifting weights, was also bad at it (as in difficult to gain strength), but I have kept at it. Screwed up my back permanently in the process by pushing too hard.

wtf how is it possible to screw up your back permanently? did you go full retard deadlift or something lol

 

[scorpiolove]

When I was young, I used to feel inferior to my smarter company at college/at work.

Now, however, ugliness has set me free. Many of my superiors are not that handsome. This realization gives me confidence,
that no matter what they do, or how successful they are in their domain, there is an invisible barrier of physical beauty they cannot break. There ARE a few who are both handsome, and smart, and they do quite well with the ladies, but I now get that a large part of their success is due to the genes of aesthetics they were born with. That a not so intelligent handsome dude would fare not so worse off.

It also has changed the way I interact with women. Having accepted the condition of being incel for life, there is now no cause for me to feel intimidated by them. I don't have a need of their approval. I instead enjoy watching other dudes make fools of themselves.

Of course, an adverse side effect is that now I have no passion for work, seeing that if were successful at work, I would still be low on the SMV chain . I have to pretend at work that I care. There were many years where I did not pretend, and I slacked off; I payed heavily for it (fired from a job, had difficulty finding new ones..). The lesson was learnt. Put on a mask and fake it. Acquire skills, even if you have no passion for them, so that you will be wanted.

I am dead inside. But I got confidence.

I've been there man, stuck in dead end jobs, with no chance of advancement or promotion, I was also incel for a long time when I was bald. What you need is some beer, weed and hookers, you got to let go of yourself and get out of your shell somehow, you got money and an occupation,it's a good start,get a friend to show you the ropes, we all started out as beginners at one point in our lives. Get laid, get paid and don't be afraid to upgrade.