How can I help my male pattern baldness partner with their confidence?

[Hunter580]

My partner is 23. We've been together 6 months and are living together. I'm crazy for him. And I'm a catch! I'm in my 20's long hair, tattoos, 55kg, ride a motorbike, work out like a beast, I tick a lot of boxes. So all this talk of girls not finding male pattern baldness guys attractive is nonsense fellas honestly.

The thing is, his confidence is at rock bottom because of male pattern baldness.
In 6 months the only time I saw him with his hat off was when the beanie he wears to bed fell off while he was sleeping and I just so happened to wake up in the middle of the night.
He doesn't even know I saw him.

He wears a cap all day has a shower before bed and appears with his beanie on.

It means he won't take his shirt off in bed either in case it knocks his hat off.
Sure, it's not ideal. BUT my main concern is how do I help him?

I tell him everyday that I love him. Of course I do and I'm genuine every time I say it.
I tell him how attractive his is. He's a carpenter, built like an ox, can bench press me, has a back like a dining table, smells gorgeous at all times, drives a v8. I'm on to a winner.

But I can see how much this tears him up. We don't talk about it because I don't want to upset him, worry him, embarrass him.

Please guys, I need to know.

What are the top three things you wish your woman or just women in general would do to make you feel good about yourself?

Can I get him talking? Do I suggest treatments or therapies to try? Do I just shower him in affection and hope he'll come round eventually? What if he doesn't?

I'll level with you. This is driving him to drink. And he's a horrible drunk. I need a hand with this.

Can't wait to hear your responses.
Thanks
Hunter.

 

[zeroes]

He sounds like he has serious issues.

Maybe watch movies with bald guys and mention how hot they are.

I honestly have no idea, if you have told him you don't care and don't have a problem with his baldness he will only have himself to blame if you guys split over his inability to deal with hair loss. He will be kicking himself later in life.

 

[Quantum Cat]

ask him why he always wears a hat. Then he'll have to discuss the subject rather than keep avoiding it.

The best thing a woman could do for me would be to pay for a hair transplant. Failing that, just tell me she doesn't care that i'm balding

 

[uncomfortable man]

I am in a very similar situation except I am in your guys shoes. So let me be of some assistance in getting you inside your BF's head. My wife gives me positive feedback/love/compliments all the time because she knows how insecure I feel. But knowing that makes me question weather the compliments are genuine or just hot air meant to inflate my withered ego. Either way, I know it comes from a place of love but I am afraid to say that this issue is bigger than the both of us. I too wear a beanie all the time because I hate the way I look, but even worse I hate the way people look at/ treat me when I am uncovered. Society tells us that baldness is not acceptable and for us bald guys that message may be more clear than someone unafflicted. I think it's remarkable BTW that your in love with a bald guy and wish there were more women like you who are not as swayed by societies prejudice against baldness but unfortunately it won't blind him to the fact that he still feels shame because of his appearance.

 

[Exodus2011]

has he seeked out treatment? tell him about rogaine, propecia and nizoral

 

[CaptainForehead]

Didnt know you were a Beanie prisoner UCMan.

Do you wear it even in bed?

 

[uncomfortable man]

My sentence began when I first noticed how people treated me with less respect and just downright rude. It was a combination of shame and social anxiety that drove me under the beanie. A coworker asked me in the crowded break room why I always wear a beanie. I said I wear a beanie because I'm bald. If I had hair I wouldn't need it.

 

[Quantum Cat]

you wear it even in hot weather?

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yes. People don't take a day off hating because of the heat. They may suspect but at least they don't see me that way and open me up for ridicule. In this particular case I would say that I strongly prefer to experience physical discomfort before emotional discomfort.

 

[SDK]

It is not easy, especially at first, to accept the fact that you are getting older. I think that is where most of the insecurities stem from. Losing hair is a sign of aging, predisposed or not.

Like I have already said, the truest thing about hair loss is that people subconsciously see it as a personal failure.

 

[james12]

It is not easy, especially at first, to accept the fact that you are getting older. I think that is where most of the insecurities stem from. Losing hair is a sign of aging, predisposed or not.

Like I have already said, the truest thing about hair loss is that people subconsciously see it as a personal failure.

The stigma against balding is entirely cultural. There is no reason to be concerned about it otherwise. If people see balding as a failure then they've been instructed to feel that way by society. If you want a grasp on how powerful the negative propaganda is against hair loss , just think about this for a moment: millions of men with no affiliation with each other clamor to seek treatment for male pattern baldness , often at the FIRST signs of the condition manifesting. Why the rush , why the impulsive fear of what's coming?This is a phenomena seen across, class, age, gender, geography even.

It's ridiculous when you think about it, the wasted finances and human costs that are gorged by a society fixated on youth and beauty. Both qualities of which are fleeting and non-productive.

 

[uncomfortable man]

It is not easy, especially at first, to accept the fact that you are getting older. I think that is where most of the insecurities stem from. Losing hair is a sign of aging, predisposed or not.

Like I have already said, the truest thing about hair loss is that people subconsciously see it as a personal failure.

Don't confuse age related hair loss with male pattern baldness. I lost my hair when I was twenty three due to male pattern baldness, not from getting old. The problem is that people will perceive you as being old, even if you are in your prime. Like James said, baldness is not the problem in itself rather it's perception. Kudos to James BTW, for his realistic view of this issue.

 

[CaptainForehead]

The stigma against balding is entirely cultural. There is no reason to be concerned about it otherwise. If people see balding as a failure then they've been instructed to feel that way by society. If you want a grasp on how powerful the negative propaganda is against hair loss , just think about this for a moment: millions of men with no affiliation with each other clamor to seek treatment for male pattern baldness , often at the FIRST signs of the condition manifesting. Why the rush , why the impulsive fear of what's coming?This is a phenomena seen across, class, age, gender, geography even.

It's ridiculous when you think about it, the wasted finances and human costs that are gorged by a society fixated on youth and beauty. Both qualities of which are fleeting and non-productive.

I'm watching a tv series - all the men have hair, EXCEPT for one, Mike Malley, who had the role of a undesirable man who was set up on an undesirable date with one of the heroines. The heroine was single, had two kids, father not in the picture, and living with her parents. Yet, she was pissed at having been set up on a date with this bald, non-athletic person.

 

[Hunter580]

Thanks so much for everyone's response I hadn't managed to check replies til yesterday and it was such a relief to see people had responded.
I've no one to talk to about this and I appreciate the support!
Zeroes the day before reading ur post I did exactly as you said and comment on how genuinely hot I reckon Jason Stratham is with his shaved head and designer stubble and asked if he'd consider growing a beard.
But his dad has beat it into him that working men don't have beards and that a clean face is a sign of someone who works hard.
Hmm.
Quantum Cat I asked our first night together why he wouldn't take the hat off he snapped 'cos I've got **** all hair'
Eek! Case closed and anytime I've brought it up since I get shut down that he doesn't want to talk about it right now.
UCman I don't think it's remarkable that I love him. I just love him. It helps he looks smokin hot in his hat as well haha but it's painful reading how much despair is on these forums. Men distressed they'll never be loved. I've honestly never regarded hair as a credential for dating someone and I have many girlfriends who are the same. We have a massive group of friends with male pattern baldness scattered throughout. But they all have girls or no trouble getting girls I'm sure they'd rather have hair given the choice purely because as has been mentioned, society has trained them that way. But their male pattern baldness doesn't slow them down.
I guess what I'm saying is there IS hope.
Exodus2011 I haven't the first clue about treatments can anyone give me a dummies run down to what these things do and how they work and what their success rates are and where to get them?
Thanks again everyone it helps to know there are people out there to turn to

 

[Exodus2011]

he has an almos guaranteed chance of stopping his hair loss if he starts both propecia and rogaine

a good chance of regrowing some to a lot of hair as well

maybe like 50% chance of regrowing a lot to a little

if his hair loss is recent than the chances are way higher tho

 

[kthxbi]

the 'big 3' of hairloss are minoxidil (rogaine), finasteride (propecia) and ketoconazole shampoo (nizoral)

minoxidil encourages growth of hair, keto is very good for inflammation and itching as well as being a mild antiandrogen (this helps to prevent production of DHT, a hormone which is believed to be #1 cause of male pattern baldness) and finasteride is a much stronger antiandrogen. there are other treatments too - but these three are the most commonly used and the most commonly recommended.

good luck - it's really nice of you to care like this for your fella and i hope things work out well for the both of you.

f

 

[meetjoeblack]

My partner is 23. We've been together 6 months and are living together. I'm crazy for him. And I'm a catch! I'm in my 20's long hair, tattoos, 55kg, ride a motorbike, work out like a beast, I tick a lot of boxes. So all this talk of girls not finding male pattern baldness guys attractive is nonsense fellas honestly.

The thing is, his confidence is at rock bottom because of male pattern baldness.
In 6 months the only time I saw him with his hat off was when the beanie he wears to bed fell off while he was sleeping and I just so happened to wake up in the middle of the night.
He doesn't even know I saw him.

He wears a cap all day has a shower before bed and appears with his beanie on.

It means he won't take his shirt off in bed either in case it knocks his hat off.
Sure, it's not ideal. BUT my main concern is how do I help him?

I tell him everyday that I love him. Of course I do and I'm genuine every time I say it.
I tell him how attractive his is. He's a carpenter, built like an ox, can bench press me, has a back like a dining table, smells gorgeous at all times, drives a v8. I'm on to a winner.

But I can see how much this tears him up. We don't talk about it because I don't want to upset him, worry him, embarrass him.

Please guys, I need to know.

What are the top three things you wish your woman or just women in general would do to make you feel good about yourself?

Can I get him talking? Do I suggest treatments or therapies to try? Do I just shower him in affection and hope he'll come round eventually? What if he doesn't?

I'll level with you. This is driving him to drink. And he's a horrible drunk. I need a hand with this.

Can't wait to hear your responses.
Thanks
Hunter.

Assuming you are a girl, why do you keep saying partner unless this is a gay relationship?

Not everyone can pull it off. Still, indifference is attractive.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Still, indifference is attractive.

You mean by this that girls want a man to be effortlessly attractive but not be vain and arrogant about his looks.

Yeah, perfectly reasonable expectation right?