I Am Feeling Suicidal - Just Need To Hear From People

hanginginthewire

hanginginthewire

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I don't know what to type here other than the usual. Hair loss is consuming and destroying my life. I feel total disgust when I look in the mirror. I am quite hairy on my body, the irony of which sickens me.

I am just one of those people who find this level of hair loss intolerable. I know it's a part of life and millions have to deal with it but I just can't. Yesterday a friend invited me out, I did go but while driving over I nearly slammed into a motorcycle that had slowed to turn in front of me. I was checking how much my diffusion shows in the rearview. The only relief I feel is when I'm asleep. I was already underemployed and recently quit my job. I'm willing to undergo transplant(s) (though this would be a tremendous emotional/financial/time-consuming burden, but I'm not at all convinced it will give a reasonable appearance. I don't know, I could go on and on. I'm sorry to post this here I just feel alone with this. It's unbearable. I will psyche myself up to thinking that a transplant will help but then I read about disastorous results or the limits of even the best results. I entertain the idea of taking/experimenting with HRT, but again there is no clear sense of what the results will be or that this will solve the problem. I suck it up and buzz my hair down to a 1 but just can't get used to the look. I see people with little to no hairloss walking around and I feel like they are in the kingdom of the healthy/living and I am cursed. What do you guys do when you are being eaten alive by this disease? Cancer of the spirit is an understatement.
 
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sunchyme1

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maybe post a picture of the hair on top of your head so we can assess your situation better you nut job
 
Afro_Vacancy

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hanginginthewire said:
I don't know what to type here other than the usual. Hair loss is consuming and destroying my life. I feel total disgust when I look in the mirror. I am quite hairy on my body, the irony of which sickens me.

I am just one of those people who find this level of hair loss intolerable. I know it's a part of life and millions have to deal with it but I just can't. Yesterday a friend invited me out, I did go but while driving over I nearly slammed into a motorcycle that had slowed to turn in front of me. I was checking how much my diffusion shows in the rearview. The only relief I feel is when I'm asleep. I was already underemployed and recently quit my job. I'm willing to undergo transplant(s) (though this would be a tremendous emotional/financial/time-consuming burden, but I'm not at all convinced it will give a reasonable appearance. I don't know, I could go on and on. I'm sorry to post this here I just feel alone with this. It's unbearable. I will psyche myself up to thinking that a transplant will help but then I read about disastorous results or the limits of even the best results. I entertain the idea of taking/experimenting with HRT, but again there is no clear sense of what the results will be or that this will solve the problem. I suck it up and buzz my hair down to a 1 but just can't get used to the look. I see people with little to no hairloss walking around and I feel like they are in the kingdom of the healthy/living and I am cursed. What do you guys do when you are being eaten alive by this disease? Cancer of the spirit is an understatement.
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First of all it's better to try the hair transplant first than to assume it won't work. Go with a better doctor, your odds of a bad result will be much lower.

Second please see a counselor. It's fine to be annoyed by your hair loss, it's a recognition of reality, but it doesn't mean that your life is not worth living. There are many people doing very well without hair.
 
sunchyme1

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ok so this is op

38 years old, nw1/2 with some diffuse

lol

was expecting nw3/4 age 22.

mate, you gotta get a grip. your nearly 40 ffs. you have decent hair still for your age. keep it short like you do and youll be fine. and definitely see a counselor. you obviously have bigger problems than hairloss

and i dont mean that in a rude way. ive had mental problems before with bdd and depression, obsessing unhealthily over issues i didnt have.

at your age and level of baldness, this really shouldnt be a problem
 
hanginginthewire

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Yes sunchyme, obviously I suffer from depression. While balding when you are young is far, far worse, that doesn't mean you are going to embrace it in your 30s. Also depends on the circumstance of your life, which you know nothing about. I am not Norwood 1. Probably at 2.5 hairline with significant diffusion in a 5 or 6 pattern. Propecia doesn't seem to be helping. I think yes we do tend to obsess over these types of things if other parts of our lives are difficult, which again, you can't know just because of a person's age.

I can't say I really appreciate the dismissive (and kind of creepy) responses you (sunchyme) have provided here, but yes I can see my post was pretty over the top and was red meat for someone looking to dole out internet snark.

@David_MPN I can never really get a clear sense if transplantation is appropriate for people with an advanced emerging pattern of diffusion but who still have a significant amount of hair. I've heard people say that diffuse loss is one of the worst forms of hair loss both in appearance and treatment options and I can see why. Particularly if you don't respond to meds.
 
Afro_Vacancy

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hanginginthewire said:
Yes sunchyme, obviously I suffer from depression. While balding when you are young is far, far worse, that doesn't mean you are going to embrace it in your 30s. Also depends on the circumstance of your life, which you know nothing about. I am not Norwood 1. Probably at 2.5 hairline with significant diffusion in a 5 or 6 pattern. Propecia doesn't seem to be helping. I think yes we do tend to obsess over these types of things if other parts of our lives are difficult, which again, you can't know just because of a person's age.

I can't say I really appreciate the dismissive (and kind of creepy) responses you (sunchyme) have provided here, but yes I can see my post was pretty over the top and was red meat for someone looking to dole out internet snark.

@David_MPN I can never really get a clear sense if transplantation is appropriate for people with an advanced emerging pattern of diffusion but who still have a significant amount of hair. I've heard people say that diffuse loss is one of the worst forms of hair loss both in appearance and treatment options and I can see why. Particularly if you don't respond to meds.
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Talk to people on this forum who know more about transplant surgeons, for example @Wolf Pack , @kj6723 and @WhitePolarBear . They can give you advice on which surgeons to see. IMO you don't need a permanent solution as better treatments are on the horizon. You just need to hold on for a few more years.

Leaving aside the fact that suicide is an overreaction in the first place, which you understand, it's also a permanent "solution". There's no going back on suicide. Hair loss is not a permanent problem. There are better treatments on the horizon, and regardless of that, you won't care as much if you're bald in your 50s, it will be less of an issue.

How long have you tried the propecia and minoxidil?
 
hanginginthewire

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David_MPN said:
Talk to people on this forum who know more about transplant surgeons, for example @Wolf Pack , @kj6723 and @WhitePolarBear . They can give you advice on which surgeons to see. IMO you don't need a permanent solution as better treatments are on the horizon. You just need to hold on for a few more years.

Leaving aside the fact that suicide is an overreaction in the first place, which you understand, it's also a permanent "solution". There's no going back on suicide. Hair loss is not a permanent problem. There are better treatments on the horizon, and regardless of that, you won't care as much if you're bald in your 50s, it will be less of an issue.

How long have you tried the propecia and minoxidil?
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I know, you're right. This is an embarrassing thread but this hair loss has really, really gotten to me. I will say that yes I do have a lot of hair left as compared to others, but that pic is pretty grainy - the diffusion is worse then it appears there. And again, I can see the 5 or 6 Norwood emerging, hairs still falling out up top, and along the neckline - I have pretty strong retrograde too. I am indeed the type of depressive who probably leans toward BDD issues, but the hairloss has kicked it in to high gear. I'm not really the type who won't care when I'm 50 though, but perhaps I'll care less. Having hair is bound up in my self identity, like it is for most.

I've been on Generic propecia since summer 2016, getting my hands on a legit prescription was an arduous process. I tried minoxidil off and on very briefly, foam or liquid I just can't handle the itch it causes in me. The fact that the propecia doesn't seem to be helping causes me to despair as well. I've read the stats and studies that it's supposed to be effective for like 90+ percent of people but leave it to me to be an outlier.

Anyway, thanks for your encouragement.
 
JeanLucBB

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hanginginthewire said:
I know, you're right. This is an embarrassing thread but this hair loss has really, really gotten to me. I will say that yes I do have a lot of hair left as compared to others, but that pic is pretty grainy - the diffusion is worse then it appears there. And again, I can see the 5 or 6 Norwood emerging, hairs still falling out up top, and along the neckline - I have pretty strong retrograde too. I am indeed the type of depressive who probably leans toward BDD issues, but the hairloss has kicked it in to high gear. I'm not really the type who won't care when I'm 50 though, but perhaps I'll care less. Having hair is bound up in my self identity, like it is for most.

I've been on Generic propecia since summer 2016, getting my hands on a legit prescription was an arduous process. I tried minoxidil off and on very briefly, foam or liquid I just can't handle the itch it causes in me. The fact that the propecia doesn't seem to be helping causes me to despair as well. I've read the stats and studies that it's supposed to be effective for like 90+ percent of people but leave it to me to be an outlier.

Anyway, thanks for your encouragement.
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If you have the money get that transplant man. You don't have a huge amount of area to fill. At your age you probably have a decent financial situation so I'd say get your *** over to Istanbul and get Erdogan to cram the sh*t out of your NW2. Rahal would be a great choice also but I'm not sure you should bother with FUT with such low levels of loss.
 
J

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As a 39 yr old Norwood 1.5 to 2ish, you're not going to get much sympathy from this board. Yeah your hair is not what it was 10 or 15 years ago, this is common with most people your age. Even nw1 40 year olds do not have same density as when they were 20. From your pic your hair looks good, maybe you have some other photos that show more thinning?
 
Roberto_72

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Man, what would you have done if you had started thinning out when under age, like some of us?

Apart from this, don't be suicidal, get a hair transplant, no one will deny it to you, you are 38 FFS.
 
samantha3333

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I think I'm the only one who can relate. 5 years ago, everyone thought I was crazy because there was simply no way I looked "bald". Two years ago, my parents started to acknowledge that I "might" have Androgenetic Alopecia. Now, shopping for a wig.

There isn't even male pattern baldness or Androgenetic Alopecia in my immediate family.

I wish I had better support network when I was suicidal. I wish I didn't have to endure self harm because I was too scared to kill myself. All because my hair loss was so diffuse nobody in my close network offered me support. Now when I recall those painful period I still get teared up.

If everyone is more sympathetic, life would be so much easier
 
Roberto_72

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samantha3333 said:
I think I'm the only one who can relate. 5 years ago, everyone thought I was crazy because there was simply no way I looked "bald". Two years ago, my parents started to acknowledge that I "might" have Androgenetic Alopecia. Now, shopping for a wig.

There isn't even male pattern baldness or Androgenetic Alopecia in my immediate family.

I wish I had better support network when I was suicidal. I wish I didn't have to endure self harm because I was too scared to kill myself. All because my hair loss was so diffuse nobody in my close network offered me support. Now when I recall those painful period I still get teared up.

If everyone is more sympathetic, life would be so much easier
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You can't compare his case to yours, or Dante's, or anybody who did not have a proper youth because of hair loss.
I was never young because of hair loss. OP had a proper youth, I guess. That makes a huge difference.

Plus, he can have a hair transplant and restore the situation. At 19, I couldn't.
 
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