I talked to some girls....

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I talked to 4 of my exes and a bunch of girls I know and asked them their opinion about a guy balding and shaving his head off. None of them seemed to be turned off by the idea. Most of them said "you can just shave your head off and be fine" or "you can wear wigs and it will be ok". None of them really said "i wouldn't date a guy who is bald/balding". Do you guys think we are exaggerating how girls will just stop talking to us once we lose our hair? There are many bald guys that get really hot chicks all the time without a problem. What do you guys think?
 

Nene

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I think that most girls, at least consciously, are not going to completely rule out dating a guy who is balding. However, losing hair makes you less attractive so it will be harder for you to get a girl's attention. In other words, just because you're bald doesn't mean most girls won't date you, but it does mean that you will have a harder time getting her attracted to you in the first place. Also, maybe those girls are just being nice to you because they know you are balding.
 

Hope4hairRedux

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I think it completely depends. There is no one answer or formula.

Generally going bald decreases your attractiveness. So the more you do to limit that damage that hair loss causes, the better position you will be in.

When it comes to girls, its really hard to say. But generally, I dont think girls have certian critiria for how a guy has to look. Good looking can come in many types, even bald.

Bald is only ugly when its combined with being overwieght, having bad skin, generally letting yourself go. Baldness in this case is the final nail in the coffin. The sad thing about baldness is that it means our motivation to stay in good shape will probably be harder to mantain then someone that has hair all their lives. If your good looking and you have all your hair, then your going to want to supplement that. It makes your life a lot better. In our case, taking care of ourselves doesnt really mean we will be top of the pack - it just stops us from slipping down the scale where we become completely invalid to women.

In the last few years, I have already noticed that has my hair has decreased, so has my attractiveness to women. Perhaps its my general confidence that has decreased though. Or my perception of it all. I dont know. But its all related.
 

Mens Rea

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Hope4hairRedux said:
I think it completely depends. There is no one answer or formula.

Generally going bald decreases your attractiveness. So the more you do to limit that damage that hair loss causes, the better position you will be in.

When it comes to girls, its really hard to say. But generally, I dont think girls have certian critiria for how a guy has to look. Good looking can come in many types, even bald.

Bald is only ugly when its combined with being overwieght, having bad skin, generally letting yourself go. Baldness in this case is the final nail in the coffin. The sad thing about baldness is that it means our motivation to stay in good shape will probably be harder to mantain then someone that has hair all their lives. If your good looking and you have all your hair, then your going to want to supplement that. It makes your life a lot better. In our case, taking care of ourselves doesnt really mean we will be top of the pack - it just stops us from slipping down the scale where we become completely invalid to women.

In the last few years, I have already noticed that has my hair has decreased, so has my attractiveness to women. Perhaps its my general confidence that has decreased though. Or my perception of it all. I dont know. But its all related.

Good post.

So far since my hair loss has progressed i feel ive improved with women and ive actually got better looking. Ive kept the weight off my face, i think my face has become more handsome, my skin has improved and my general social competence has developed.

I do agree though as the hair loss progresses to a point where it really affects your look im sure it becomes very difficult for guys to simply bust their *** to avoid slipping futher down the ladder.

I can definately see how guys lost their vanity altogether and let it go though but i think you shouldnt assume that even these guys are all grossly unhappy - im willing to bet some just because less vain and focused on other more important things.
 
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Nene said:
I think that most girls, at least consciously, are not going to completely rule out dating a guy who is balding. However, losing hair makes you less attractive so it will be harder for you to get a girl's attention. In other words, just because you're bald doesn't mean most girls won't date you, but it does mean that you will have a harder time getting her attracted to you in the first place. Also, maybe those girls are just being nice to you because they know you are balding.

Actually they don't know I'm balding. I've been thinning for the last month or so but I still have a full head of hair and my thinning is only noticeable to me so far. Most of my friends say I'm just seeing things.
 
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dudemon said:
wannakeepitall said:
Women don't talk to guys that they think are ugly...unless it's to be "friends." Sex is not even being considered when a woman/girl talks to a guy that they do not consider a potential mate. No way, no how...aka it's a "Platonic" relationship, in other words. If that guy trys to make advances, there is about a 99.99999......% chance that he will get a slap across the face and told to get the hell out.

I don't agree with this. Maybe it only happens in the bar scenes. I know many ugly guys dating hot girls because they have the confidence to get those girls. It all comes down to confidence with girls. If girls only digged good looking guys, then you wouldn't have so many married and dating couples. In their 20s only like 25% of men are actually good looking and as the age level goes higher the percentage gets even lower. But sooner or later 95% of the population ends up getting in a long term relationship or getting married at the end of the day. In college campuses you will see many many ugly men dating hot chicks all the time because that's when men have the most confidence.
 

treeshrew

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wannakeepitall said:
I talked to 4 of my exes and a bunch of girls I know and asked them their opinion about a guy balding and shaving his head off. None of them seemed to be turned off by the idea. Most of them said "you can just shave your head off and be fine" or "you can wear wigs and it will be ok".

I sincerely doubt you got their honest opinion. I don't think they'd admit it for fear of coming off as shallow. What if a girl asked you your opinion on dating a girl that was overweight? It's the same thing. Would you say no, you don't find fat girls attractive? I probably wouldn't because I don't want to offend anyone. I'd probably say it's more about personality, connection, etc, but we all know a fat girl is less attractive. Same with baldness.

That said, confidence does play a huge part. An ugly dude with serious confidence is going to do better than an attractive dude that is severely shy/awkward. The catch is that ugliness usually inhibits confidence.
 

Bald Dave

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Nene said:
I think that most girls, at least consciously, are not going to completely rule out dating a guy who is balding. However, losing hair makes you less attractive so it will be harder for you to get a girl's attention. In other words, just because you're bald doesn't mean most girls won't date you, but it does mean that you will have a harder time getting her attracted to you in the first place. Also, maybe those girls are just being nice to you because they know you are balding.

That is just your opinion that bald guys are less attractive. How many girls have told you that bald guys are less attractive?
 

Bald Dave

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wannakeepitall said:
dudemon said:
wannakeepitall said:
Women don't talk to guys that they think are ugly...unless it's to be "friends." Sex is not even being considered when a woman/girl talks to a guy that they do not consider a potential mate. No way, no how...aka it's a "Platonic" relationship, in other words. If that guy trys to make advances, there is about a 99.99999......% chance that he will get a slap across the face and told to get the hell out.

I don't agree with this. Maybe it only happens in the bar scenes. I know many ugly guys dating hot girls because they have the confidence to get those girls. It all comes down to confidence with girls. If girls only digged good looking guys, then you wouldn't have so many married and dating couples. In their 20s only like 25% of men are actually good looking and as the age level goes higher the percentage gets even lower. But sooner or later 95% of the population ends up getting in a long term relationship or getting married at the end of the day. In college campuses you will see many many ugly men dating hot chicks all the time because that's when men have the most confidence.

I totally agree that confidence means so much to a women. I see so many ugly guys who are sure of the themselves and confident pick up beautiful girls. Men are different to women in terms of that we go 90% for looks and we think that women are the same and they're not.
 

Bald Dave

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dudemon said:
wannakeepitall said:
.... None of them really said "i wouldn't date a guy who is bald/balding". Do you guys think we are exaggerating how girls will just stop talking to us once we lose our hair?...

I have met and known more than a few women/girls over the years that did say exactly that, or something similar to it.

Women don't talk to guys that they think are ugly...unless it's to be "friends." Sex is not even being considered when a woman/girl talks to a guy that they do not consider a potential mate. No way, no how...aka it's a "Platonic" relationship, in other words. If that guy trys to make advances, there is about a 99.99999......% chance that he will get a slap across the face and told to get the hell out.

Some bald guys can still look good shaved, but most guys look worse. This has to do with whether a guy is considered good looking or just average. When the hair goes, an average guy becomes ugly, while a handsome guy becomes only slightly less attractive, making him still a potential mate.

When average guys go bald and become "ugly," they are not going to be considered potential mates by hardly any women, and especially not by attractive women who can have almost any guy they want.

So it only makes sense that average looking bald guys (who slipped into the "ugly" category, as their Norwood climbed to the upper end of the scale) are not going to get as much attention from women, as they once did when they were less bald.

Dudemon, where do you live? Beveley Hills where everyone is stuck up and superficial? Normal girls don't care about looks and until you realise that your not going to get very far!
 

Smooth

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Its merely because they have bad personalities... where have you been??? didn't you know there's a clear correlation between personality and looks... have you ever seen a good looking basterd with a hot woman?? - never!
 

barcafan

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It depends on how you look, there's no other way about it.

Does everyone with hair look like brad pitt? no

Does everyone that's bald look like kelly slater? no


I'd just like to say these discussions are probably a waste of your time. every second you waste thinking about it and getting down on it is a waste of your time, it does nothing productive for you except make you feel bad. And it doesnt change a damn thing.
 

barcafan

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finfighter said:
Are you kidding? Good looking woman always go for bastards, where have you been? Well maybe it's just a cultural thing, but here in the USA it's almost like girls are looking for an a**hole, have you ever heard the expresion ''Nice guys finish last''?

*Whoosh*
 

Bald Dave

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finfighter said:
Normal girls don't care about looks and until you realise that your not going to get very far!

Really, they don't? Wow, that is an incredibly accurate statement, I wonder why everyone thinks that physical attraction is imporant to females? It must just all be a conspiracy.I wonder why the vast majority of celebrities that females like are exceptionally good looking men? I wonder why my less attractive friends, have less attracive girlfriends and Vise versa?

I didn't say that good looking guys can't get a hot girlfriend now did I??? I was merely implying that looks aren't as important to women as they are to men hence why you see lots of average looking or even ugly guys with attractive girls. Girls find confidence a major turn on and even if the guy isn't a good looking guy with the right personality and confidence he can still get a hot girlfriend.

Also I mentioned 'normal' girls don't care about looks not celebrities. Celebrities will go for looks as they live in a superficial world but your normal everyday girl who works in the bakers, post office, supermarket etc isn't gonna go solely for looks :hump:
 

Nene

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Bald Dave said:
Nene said:
I think that most girls, at least consciously, are not going to completely rule out dating a guy who is balding. However, losing hair makes you less attractive so it will be harder for you to get a girl's attention. In other words, just because you're bald doesn't mean most girls won't date you, but it does mean that you will have a harder time getting her attracted to you in the first place. Also, maybe those girls are just being nice to you because they know you are balding.

That is just your opinion that bald guys are less attractive. How many girls have told you that bald guys are less attractive?


Ok, so not EVERYONE is less attractive when they start losing hair, just 90% of men. The other 10% might look better or the same. At the end of the day, it makes you look older and people like youth! And yes, I have heard women say things about bald guys not being hot. They only said this in front of me because at the time I had no visible signs of baldness. If you truly believe that baldness doesn't make you less attractive as a rule of thumb, you've been watching too many Disney movies buddy. Come back to reality.
 

Bald Dave

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Nene said:
Bald Dave said:
Nene said:
I think that most girls, at least consciously, are not going to completely rule out dating a guy who is balding. However, losing hair makes you less attractive so it will be harder for you to get a girl's attention. In other words, just because you're bald doesn't mean most girls won't date you, but it does mean that you will have a harder time getting her attracted to you in the first place. Also, maybe those girls are just being nice to you because they know you are balding.

That is just your opinion that bald guys are less attractive. How many girls have told you that bald guys are less attractive?


Ok, so not EVERYONE is less attractive when they start losing hair, just 90% of men. The other 10% might look better or the same. At the end of the day, it makes you look older and people like youth! And yes, I have heard women say things about bald guys not being hot. They only said this in front of me because at the time I had no visible signs of baldness. If you truly believe that baldness doesn't make you less attractive as a rule of thumb, you've been watching too many Disney movies buddy. Come back to reality.

I think you need to come back to reality! Where did you get your figures that 90% of men look unattractive bald??? What sources tell you this??? So you just happen to walk into a club and overhear a group of girls put down bald guys??? Funny that i've been clubbing for 10 years now and never heard a women put down a bald guy - i think you're seriously deluded!

So your saying every women likes a little boy or not a MAN??? All MEN receed at some time in their lives its all about being a MAN! Normal women want a MAN to be a MAN and not a sissy boy.
 

Nene

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Bald Dave

I never said that 90% of men look unattractive bald. I said it makes 90% of men LESS ATTRACTIVE, and I stand by that comment. Sure it's not an exact number, I'm just trying to say the vast majority of men look worse with hair loss. Why are there so many people on this site in the first place if doesn't make you uglier? These people are here on this site why? Because balding made them cuter and they are happy about it? Or because balding is making them feel like they look older and unattractive? I don't know anyone who finds out they are balding and is happy about it. By your logic, since it doesn't make most people less attractive, no one should care that they are balding, yet they do care a great deal! Can you explain why they care if they aren't getting less attractive? Is it because the sun will burn their heads now that they don't have hair? Is it because now they will feel a little colder in the winter? And it wasn't women in a club, it was women I know. One I worked with and two that I dated. And losing hair has nothing to do with being a man. Sure everyone loses a little density as they get older, and most men recede at least a little bit, but being completely bald means you have a genetic defect, it doesn't make you more or less manly.
 

Bald Dave

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Nene said:
Bald Dave

I never said that 90% of men look unattractive bald. I said it makes 90% of men LESS ATTRACTIVE, and I stand by that comment. Sure it's not an exact number, I'm just trying to say the vast majority of men look worse with hair loss. Why are there so many people on this site in the first place if doesn't make you uglier? These people are here on this site why? Because balding made them cuter and they are happy about it? Or because balding is making them feel like they look older and unattractive? I don't know anyone who finds out they are balding and is happy about it. By your logic, since it doesn't make most people less attractive, no one should care that they are balding, yet they do care a great deal! Can you explain why they care if they aren't getting less attractive? Is it because the sun will burn their heads now that they don't have hair? Is it because now they will feel a little colder in the winter? And it wasn't women in a club, it was women I know. One I worked with and two that I dated. And losing hair has nothing to do with being a man. Sure everyone loses a little density as they get older, and most men recede at least a little bit, but being completely bald means you have a genetic defect, it doesn't make you more or less manly.

Nene,

People are on this site to get help and support about their hairloss. I admit hairloss can be crushing but this site is meant to support people with hairloss and give each other encouragement which is what i am doing. I am trying to make people realise that baldness is not a disfigurement but is a completly natural process and you should just get over it. Its easier said than done i know but at the end of the day there are many bald/balding guys that have good jobs, got nice wives and live in a nice house etc and they didn't let hairloss get in the way of their success. Most of the people on this site are not happy with their lives so they blame everything on their hairloss and could you honestly say if you was happy with your life but still bald would you still be posting on this site? Probably not! The only thing ugly about hairloss is that it crush your confidence and self-esteem not your looks!
 

Hope4hairRedux

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Colin297 said:
So far since my hair loss has progressed i feel ive improved with women and ive actually got better looking. Ive kept the weight off my face, i think my face has become more handsome, my skin has improved and my general social competence has developed.

I do agree though as the hair loss progresses to a point where it really affects your look im sure it becomes very difficult for guys to simply bust their *** to avoid slipping futher down the ladder.

I can definately see how guys lost their vanity altogether and let it go though but i think you shouldnt assume that even these guys are all grossly unhappy - im willing to bet some just because less vain and focused on other more important things.

I guess in a way, your hairloss may be an extra motivator for you to put extra care in to making your other areas look nice. I agree that having that sharp look is attractive, having a kind of 'thin' face looks good. Regular exercise and relatively low calorie intake will give you that hungry and lean look. I find when I am doing regular exercise I can go up to an 8 out of 10. My complexion looks bright and healthy.

In relation to basic evolutionary theory, its accepted that people's idea of good looking is essientally an evolutionary drive to pick healthy mates. Ie someone who is in good shape and has a healthy glow will more or less be 'attractive', due to the fact that they look healthy. I think if you can aim for good health, then you have a kind of natural attractiveness that comes through your own look.

Most bald guys I see that look at least decent and better are those who could also be seen as 'healthy' looking. A good complexion, lean body etc. If you throw in confidence which comes with good health, and a good dress sense, then technically baldness isnt really such a big stigma. Right now I dont feel that attractive, I feel ok though. But over the last few months I have really noticed a difference when I have had a thinner looking face and a good complexion. Cold showers are a big help I find. I tend to eat a basic diet and rice, wholemeal bread, vegatables, and occasionally some fish( I eat more widely, but eating fresh plant food is important in having a fresh and healthy look.)

In my opinion the only way forward is to positively adapt to hair loss. Accept that its happening, and just try to get into good physical condition and health - change up your style. Anything really. Its amazing how you can come across if you put a bit of effort in. Why spend so much time fighting it when you can improve yourself overall and just go with it? Far less stress, and better peace of mind and health in the short and long term. I have had my down days - we all do - but I have never considered the supposed 'treatments' that are available. Even if they work to an extent, your more or less just trying to fight something that is happening and that is inevitable. Unless HM actually comes out and properly works then for now im going with the flow.
 

Boondock

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There are two real variables:

1. How good looking the guy is to begin with

2. How much the bald/balding look will "fit" his personal style (regarding head shape, "strength" of facial structure, and so on).

If you're a good looking guy and bald works for you, then you're laughing. If you're an average looking guy and the bald look makes you look strange, you might have lost out quite a bit.

Even in the worst case scenario, however, it's a relatively mild handicap. You can still get married, get a good job, and be happy, as evidenced by the millions of men who do so in this situation. People might rip on you and joke about it, but if it were a serious handicap - believe me - they wouldn't do that. Nobody cracks a joke to the guy who's lost the ability to walk, for example.

The key factor is how much you allow baldness to affect you. If you believe you're completely shafted in life because of it, you're much more likely to see that outcome in reality.
 
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