I used to get laid all the time in high school...I get NOTHING now (not even fatties)

[melancholy]

everybody who says 'it's all about confidence' are right of course - we all know that - but that doesn't make it any easier.

It has nothing to do with confidence, at least in my case. For me, I lost my hair, then my ability to get women declined, then, several years after the decline started (several years after all I could get was obese women, and even that took a lot of effort), my confidence started to go down and I started getting worried about my hair loss. Then after even really obese women started rejecting me I lost my confidence.

So I lost my hair, then my confidence, THEN my ability to get women, in that order. So my rejections had absolutely nothing to do with "confidence".

I'm planning to take up buddhism in order to be at peace with my male pattern baldness

I would be at peace with my male pattern baldness if I could still have a normal dating life, but I apparently can't.

 

[uncomfortable man]

The problem with this forum is that the majority of posters here aren't actually bald, but that doesn't stop them from trying to give advice to the few of us here who actually are.

In regards to confidence as a cure all, it's a fallacy. Sure, it can't hurt to feel good about yourself but it won't convert someone who has in the blink of an eye already made their mind up about you.... at which point confidence becomes more of a coping mechanism. Like the kitten who sees a lion in his reflection, a cute coping mechanism.

But this wouldn't be as much of a problem if you didn't base all your self worth by how many women you can sleep with.

 

[DannyBoyy]

The problem with this forum is that the majority of posters here aren't actually bald, but that doesn't stop them from trying to give advice to the few of us here who actually are.

In regards to confidence as a cure all, it's a fallacy. Sure, it can't hurt to feel good about yourself but it won't convert someone who has in the blink of an eye already made their mind up about you.... at which point confidence becomes more of a coping mechanism. Like the kitten who sees a lion in his reflection, a cute coping mechanism.

But this wouldn't be as much of a problem if you didn't base all your self worth by how many women you can sleep with.

Going bald is just as bad as being bald though...if the baldness is bad enough that is and you can see where he is going bald...most people say you should shave your head if you going bald for a reason.

 

[melancholy]

But this wouldn't be as much of a problem if you didn't base all your self worth by how many women you can sleep with.

Its not that I base my self worth on my ability to get laid (I don't). Its a simple matter of me wanting a normal dating life (which includes sex) and it makes me depressed being unable to get that. Thats it.

 

[zeroes]

You are aiming far too high, try 300lbs+ and 40+ year olds. /sarcasim

 

[melancholy]

You are aiming far too high, try 300lbs+ and 40+ year olds. /sarcasim

Heh, believe it or not I have approached a few 300lb+ women who rejected me as well. The real kicker is that these women were even more bitchy with me.

 

[Primo]

Like UCman said it's not about basing your whole self-worth on how many women you can sleep with....

It's about maintaining your dignity, high status and self-respect at all times... i.e. not being needy or desperate in the dating game like literally ALL the other guys out there!...

In the harsh circumstances, this is by far and away the best weapon we have against women, and it will gain us respect from many, as well as attraction from a few...

Don't take my word for it though, look through Ori's posts also, he's another NW4/5 guy in his 20s like yourself and if you go through his posts, the gist of a lot of his stuff is, the less you respect/worry about what women say/think the more you can actually enjoy life and build up your self worth and confidence again.

It's not healthy for any man whether they be NW1-7 to spend so much time in life mulling over why a girl dumped them/some fat girl didn't like them... it breeds insecurity like wildfire!

I've got much taller, and more follically endowed friends than myself, who have stupidly let this happen to themselves time and time again, it paralyzes them around women and makes them ultra depressive and no fun to be around with (I have no tolerance for all their loserish whining especially given my NW3 situation)... so for goodness sake don't let it happen to you!

Move on from all that pointless crap and in the future be thinking much more along the lines of WHAT CAN A GIRL DO TO IMPRESS ME? and definitely not, what can I do to impress her?...

 

[melancholy]

Like UCman said it's not about basing your whole self-worth on how many women you can sleep with....

And like I already said in response, I don't base my whole self-worth on how many women I can sleep with. I like girls, I want to be with one, I can't help it, and not being able to get one makes me very depressed. Not really that hard to understand...

It's about maintaining your dignity, high status and self-respect at all times... i.e. not being needy or desperate in the dating game like literally ALL the other guys out there!...

I have gone 5 years without even kissing a girl. Any straight man is going to be desperate at that point.

In the harsh circumstances, this is by far and away the best weapon we have against women, and it will gain us respect from many, as well as attraction from a few...

No, it will not get you attraction. At best they will just be indifferent about you.

It's not healthy for any man whether they be NW1-7 to spend so much time in life mulling over why a girl dumped them/some fat girl didn't like them... it breeds insecurity like wildfire!

Of course it is not healthy, but this is just a natural reaction. Do you think depressed people want to be depressed? No, they want to be happy like everyone else. You could argue that some people do not put in as much effort as they should, but in my case I put in as much effort as possible. The amount of effort I put in was insane.

 

[Primo]

Well then, given your "well above average" social skills that you claim to have and the level of effort you have allegedly put in over the years...

I'm afraid I can only conclude that either...

1) You are exceptionally ugly.

or much more likely

2) You admit yourself that you are very desperate and all girls of course can easily sense this desperate nature in your body language and tone, when interacting with you and are naturally repelled by it.

Also you say it's not about "sleeping with women" for you but then you bring up the point about not having "kissed a girl" in so long also, so it's clear that you're attaching far too much of importance to the physical aspect, at the expense of actually learning how to interact with women properly in order to acheive the physical aspect in the first place!...

If you can't learn how to interact with women properly first, i.e. camouflage how desperate you are, and be at peace with yourself when talking to them... then you will never achieving the physical aspect with women again...

As I said on the other thread I'd suggest concentrating solely on trying to have more successful interactions with women (even if they don't lead to anything) rather than constantly worrying about the physical aspect with girls and feeling you have to prove yourself or rush things... if you do that you will surely continue to go empty handed.

Just having friendly, non-awkward interactions with women, by itself will make your happier and do a world of good for your psyche.... then further down the line you can start worrying about the other stuff!

 

[melancholy]

Well then, given your "well above average" social skills that you claim to have and the level of effort you have allegedly put in over the years...

I'm afraid I can only conclude that either...

1) You are exceptionally ugly.

or much more likely

2) You admit yourself that you are very desperate and all girls of course can easily sense this desperate nature in your body language and tone, when interacting with you and are naturally repelled by it.

Also you say it's not about "sleeping with women" for you but then you bring up the point about not having "kissed a girl" in so long also, so it's clear that you're attaching far too much of importance to the physical aspect, at the expense of actually learning how to interact with women properly in order to acheive the physical aspect in the first place!...

If you can't learn how to interact with women properly first, i.e. camouflage how desperate you are, and be at peace with yourself when talking to them... then you will never achieving the physical aspect with women again...

As I said on the other thread I'd suggest concentrating solely on trying to have more successful interactions with women (even if they don't lead to anything) rather than constantly worrying about the physical aspect with girls and feeling you have to prove yourself or rush things... if you do that you will surely continue to go empty handed.

Just having friendly, non-awkward interactions with women, by itself will make your happier and do a world of good for your psyche.... then further down the line you can start worrying about the other stuff!

I am certain women are unable to read my mind and "know" I am desperate. And I never said I did not care about the physical stuff, what I said was I do not "base my self-worth" on my ability to get women. Two completely different things.

Also, I have female friends in the workplace who I never have tried to get with because I would get fired for sexual harassment like this one ugly guy did. I have friendly chats with these girls all the time, that does not really help my situation.

 

[Michael84]

It's funny to read those statements about "obese women" who are considered ugly and are the last option of a loser. Like "I can't get any decent girl, so I'll settle up with a war pig". I just imagine that there are special forums where these ladies go to find a way to lose weight and become more attractive. I presume they create similar threads and write something like "I became obese and can get only bald freaks despite my social skills didn't change. I hope these pills will help me to get back to normal life and be with handsome men instead of those Frankenstein monsters". Hahahahha....
Sorry, I just saw myself standing aside and watching this whole circus. Like a god from above. He must be laughing at us. It's so funny how people devour each other in the terms of their weaknesses. Natural selection: imperfect should be wasted.
I got drunk a little bit today..

 

[talmoode]

It's funny to read those statements about "obese women" who are considered ugly and are the last option of a loser. Like "I can't get any decent girl, so I'll settle up with a war pig". I just imagine that there are special forums where these ladies go to find a way to lose weight and become more attractive. I presume they create similar threads and write something like "I became obese and can get only bald freaks despite my social skills didn't change. I hope these pills will help me to get back to normal life and be with handsome men instead of those Frankenstein monsters". Hahahahha....
Sorry, I just saw myself standing aside and watching this whole circus. Like a god from above. He must be laughing at us. It's so funny how people devour each other in the terms of their weaknesses. Natural selection: imperfect should be wasted.
I got drunk a little bit today..

Well said!:jump: