Is There A Way To Change Ones Values?

[Bigbone]

We know they're out there, it's probably the majority baldies. We can call it living in denial, coping or whatever but we can't really argue against them. In their mind there are other things in life that they value more than being attractive, it might have been their initial thought or it might have been something they developed along the way. The question is how'd they do it?

Personally, there's nothing that makes me feel as good as when a female almost begs you for sex. Having the upper hand in a relationship, affirmation, getting the attention that others really deserve more. The only thing I'd put above is being on MDMA but obviously I can't take it daily. The experience that comes with being attractive can't be bought with money, not even if you're rich is the relationship going to be mutual and I value that, above anything else. Sure, might be related to my insecurities but it doesn't change the fact that nothing else provides me the same happiness.
I know everyone can't have it, only a minority can. My hair is sh*t and I'm tired, I need to value other things in life but I just can't. Nothing convinces me, I apply how others perceive me in every imaginary scenario. I read about others stories, spectate people in real life, I'm trying but nothing seems to change my mind. So, is it even possible to do with force? I'm f*****g tired and I need advice.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

We know they're out there, it's probably the majority baldies. We can call it living in denial, coping or whatever but we can't really argue against them. In their mind there are other things in life that they value more than being attractive, it might have been their initial thought or it might have been something they developed along the way. The question is how'd they do it?

Personally, there's nothing that makes me feel as good as when a female almost begs you for sex. Having the upper hand in a relationship, affirmation, getting the attention that others really deserve more. The only thing I'd put above is being on MDMA but obviously I can't take it daily. The experience that comes with being attractive can't be bought with money, not even if you're rich is the relationship going to be mutual and I value that, above anything else. Sure, might be related to my insecurities but it doesn't change the fact that nothing else provides me the same happiness.
I know everyone can't have it, only a minority can. My hair is sh*t and I'm tired, I need to value other things in life but I just can't. Nothing convinces me, I apply how others perceive me in every imaginary scenario. I read about others stories, spectate people in real life, I'm trying but nothing seems to change my mind. So, is it even possible to do with force? I'm f*****g tired and I need advice.

I'd put money on you being in your 20s. Your concerns and priorities are very much a young mans thing. Nearly every guy in their 20s will be thinking about sex and their appeal to other women. Its pretty normal.

It still matters in your 30s but just to a lesser extent. You begin to have more power in your career and you usually have more responsibilities so you have your mind on other matters.

If you were in your 40s and still worried about this sh*t I would really pity you.

 

[blackg]

I'd put money on you being in your 20s. Your concerns and priorities are very much a young mans thing. Nearly every guy in their 20s will be thinking about sex and their appeal to other women. Its pretty normal.

It still matters in your 30s but just to a lesser extent. You begin to have more power in your career and you usually have more responsibilities so you have your mind on other matters.

If you were in your 40s and still worried about this sh*t I would really pity you.

In ten years you will eat these words, Johnson.

 

[Derelict]

Im in my 20's the chances of me ever being in a relationship or having sex is pretty much zero, i care about my hair because of how i feel about it, not to attract the opposite sex.

 

[Bigbone]

Im in my 20's the chances of me ever being in a relationship or having sex is pretty much zero, i care about my hair because of how i feel about it, not to attract the opposite sex.

So you mean that in an alternative universe where hair loss has zero impact on appearance, social interactions, work and so on you would still care? You just really like hair?

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

I don't think you can really force it yourself, I think reality forces it on you and then it becomes merely a matter of acceptance. To me that sounds like those good people who claim you can cure a racist of his prejudices by letting him travel the world and discover new cultures in earnest. Beautiful in theory but optimistic and naive. I fear if the mind is truly closed off to alternatives it takes a total and complete failure to break it back open and make way for acceptance. I don't think age truly is a factor, I think you simply reach your breaking point and move on; some people hang on till they die some give up without a fight when they're 20.

I know for certain I'm far too vain to give in this young though. You know when a girl looks up to you with those doe eyes of adoration. Just that brief, bright twinkle. A complete transaction of power in a split second. To me that's worth more than whatever money can buy. More than life itself. For me the fall from grace is far too steep right now to accept.

And it's not like I'm not developing myself in other dimensions of life. I'm a PhD student in a prestigious program. I've mastered 4 languages ( English being my third), I have a fairly active and gratifying social life. . . All that matters nothing to the constant rush of validation you get from being good-looking in a society that's infatuated with it's own superficiality.

 

[karatekid]

We know they're out there, it's probably the majority baldies. We can call it living in denial, coping or whatever but we can't really argue against them. In their mind there are other things in life that they value more than being attractive, it might have been their initial thought or it might have been something they developed along the way. The question is how'd they do it?

Personally, there's nothing that makes me feel as good as when a female almost begs you for sex. Having the upper hand in a relationship, affirmation, getting the attention that others really deserve more. The only thing I'd put above is being on MDMA but obviously I can't take it daily. The experience that comes with being attractive can't be bought with money, not even if you're rich is the relationship going to be mutual and I value that, above anything else. Sure, might be related to my insecurities but it doesn't change the fact that nothing else provides me the same happiness.
I know everyone can't have it, only a minority can. My hair is sh*t and I'm tired, I need to value other things in life but I just can't. Nothing convinces me, I apply how others perceive me in every imaginary scenario. I read about others stories, spectate people in real life, I'm trying but nothing seems to change my mind. So, is it even possible to do with force? I'm f*****g tired and I need advice.

Dude you just wrote my exact thoughts. This is 100 percent me

 

[karatekid]

I'd put money on you being in your 20s. Your concerns and priorities are very much a young mans thing. Nearly every guy in their 20s will be thinking about sex and their appeal to other women. Its pretty normal.

It still matters in your 30s but just to a lesser extent. You begin to have more power in your career and you usually have more responsibilities so you have your mind on other matters.

If you were in your 40s and still worried about this sh*t I would really pity you.

This is so bullshit.
First I dont know how old are you, but it sounds like you are a kid, thinking that life is over anyway after 35, and old people are eww and shouldnt have sex.

Second, the reason that people in general deal less with those stuff when getting older its because there are more shitty stuff in their life to deal with - like health and money issues, not because they care less. And also most know that anyway they begin to look like sh*t then why bother..

 

[JohnsonDDG]

In ten years you will eat these words, Johnson.

I've had my prime and I know the slaying will never be as easy as it was in my late 20s and i'm ok with that.

We get to the point where we have to know that we cant be beautiful forever - look at people like scarlett johansen or Charlize theron - not even sure if they're 40 yet but they've already lost their pure sex appeal. Beauty fades and we have to take it on the chin.

I'm way more sympathetic to the teens and twenty-somethings worried about looks and hair then I am towards the over 30s.

 

[swingline747]

so youre two things in life are E and hair? lol

Seriously though, find some kind of hobby. You like MDMA..... learn to DJ, match made in heaven.

 

[Bigbone]

so youre two things in life are E and hair? lol

Seriously though, find some kind of hobby. You like MDMA..... learn to DJ, match made in heaven.

lol, no. I like a lot of other things from time to time, It's just that my obsession with my appearance takes over all of them eventually. I'm trying to focus on other things without success. So I wanted to know if it's possible to reevaluate my values with force.

 

[swingline747]

lol, no. I like a lot of other things from time to time, It's just that my obsession with my appearance takes over all of them eventually. I'm trying to focus on other things without success. So I wanted to know if it's possible to reevaluate my values with force.

nope, I have a million hobbies, a 9-5, my own side business that consumes a sh*t ton of my free time. Youre never going to be free, trust me. The best youll do it slightly busy your self for a while until you have a moment and it all sinks in again.

 

[Bigbone]

nope, I have a million hobbies, a 9-5, my own side business that consumes a sh*t ton of my free time. Youre never going to be free, trust me. The best youll do it slightly busy your self for a while until you have a moment and it all sinks in again.

Yeah, but how are others able to handle it differently? You, me and all the others that are active on these boards are still a minority.

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

I've had my prime and I know the slaying will never be as easy as it was in my late 20s and i'm ok with that.

We get to the point where we have to know that we cant be beautiful forever - look at people like scarlett johansen or Charlize theron - not even sure if they're 40 yet but they've already lost their pure sex appeal. Beauty fades and we have to take it on the chin.

I'm way more sympathetic to the teens and twenty-somethings worried about looks and hair then I am towards the over 30s.

While I agree that we can't fight a futile battle forever, we men have a clear advantage compared to women when it comes to aging gracefully. As long as we can keep our damn hair. ScarJo isn't even 35 yet and she's lost like more than half her appeal, because a women's beauty is youth itself. When that radiance is gone it's over.

 

[swingline747]

Yeah, but how are others able to handle it differently? You, me and all the others that are active on these boards are still a minority.

okay? stay busy I guess. We're also not the minority. How do you figure? If youre talking on this forum, most people see to "give up" over learning to handle things.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

While I agree that we can't fight a futile battle forever, we men have a clear advantage compared to women when it comes to aging gracefully. As long as we can keep our damn hair. ScarJo isn't even 35 yet and she's lost like more than half her appeal, because a women's beauty is youth itself. When that radiance is gone it's over.

Instead of doing number ratings we should do - would f***, wouldn't f***. Scarlett is still in the would f*** category.

Instead of using celebs as examples, perhaps we can consider people we know. As far as I see most people decline around 30 and go steadily downhill into their 40s. By their 50s almost nobody is hot (there will be exceptions but we're talking like 1 or 2 percent).

Men love to bang on about the wall and I think its a comfort blanket. Women have a power over men in terms of beauty and men want the womans beauty to decline as its a thing of justice in their mind.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

Like every other victim of social media in our day and age, you're constantly chasing short sparks of dopamine rushes which at the end bring you to a massive level of grief. Like Prince Harry said this addiction is worse than drugs and alcohol because society considers it "normal" and we're only in the early stages of it so society is being clueless. Realistically you should pursue real passions and goals instead of waiting all day for a chick to give you validation. Respect women but at the same time, stop holding them on a pedestal.

 

[Wolf Pack]

I've had my prime and I know the slaying will never be as easy as it was in my late 20s and i'm ok with that.

We get to the point where we have to know that we cant be beautiful forever - look at people like scarlett johansen or Charlize theron - not even sure if they're 40 yet but they've already lost their pure sex appeal. Beauty fades and we have to take it on the chin.

I'm way more sympathetic to the teens and twenty-somethings worried about looks and hair then I am towards the over 30s.

Good post but I disagree a little. Sex appeal can be maintained by either gender well into middle age provided they retained their looks, hair and minimal skin ageing. Now I think this is easier to achieve as a woman since most don't have serious hair loss if any, they have cosmetics and remaining thin is all that's needed even if there are some wrinkles. I've seen too many younger men chasing MILFs let alone same aged men to think otherwise. Most men are not attractive to look at in the first place (unlike women and according to women), so add in fat with little muscle, balding and wrinkling and he goes from being more or less invisible to totally absent. Top 20% of men can remain attractive to the majority of women until middle age; if they take care of their skin it will include young girls too. I'm still attracting young girls too so there's no rule. I think people say men age better because they're focusing on handsome celeb males IMO or weird forums that think only a teen girl is attractive and angel like. Overall the response is individual of course, poor genes are poor regardless whether it comes to ageing or looks e.t.c. Also depends on ethnicity. In Italy it's pretty normal to see many beautiful older women for example as it is with men.

My sympathies have always lay with the younger brigade too in regards to hair loss - a missed youth is cruel as hell. But as we get older ourselves, we'll realise that no one likes ageing and pain is pain. Our feelings are due to our life experiences, circumstances and our genetic personality - lets not make assumptions. It may be hard for some while others may not care or remain blessed. I'm having wonderful events in my life right now but I'm not going to kid myself that if my hair wasn't like a full head, I wouldn't be feeling 100%. If I wake up with even some hair loss tomorrow, it will still bother me and I'll treat it asap with surgery. This tells me that while I've moved on from hair related suffering years ago, the pain could come back like when I had a receding hairline in my late 20s. Finasteride really is a miracle, saving 60k hairs on top without any miniaturisation, even 10k grafts can't compensate unless it's amazing calibre, even then it has it's cons.

All in all hair loss is a terrifying thing for anyone even for those you may think it should be a walk in the park. That's why I wanted to mention my mate again, I've written about him on here and over PM previously. He's one of my close mates and is Afro-Caribbean origin. He has male model looks but on top of it has all the bonuses, wide masculine frame and added the right amount of muscle, also tall and socially cool. Most girls find him hot naturally. I wrote years ago he had diffuse loss and experimented with a shaved head of different lengths or growing it out. He felt ugly and inferior despite looking much better than even the average black guy who already pull it off! I reminded him constantly but I think the days of Michael Jordan shaved head are somewhat over and loss of hair bothers them pretty much like any other person. I noticed he was still obviously attractive and girls were into him but he had lost something and he knew what to do to reverse this. Now he's pretty full since he has been on dutasteride for years(so scared of hair loss he bypassed finasteride despite there being no difference between the two for most people) and feels great. He's moved on with the rest of his life and living to the full but I know he would also be bricking it if he started balding again.

How's your hair and life? You sound like you're pretty content which is nice.

OP I don't think most people truly change in life after adulthood, they just grow to except good and bad life changes which come their way while adapting their own mindset as best as they can. You should read up about different personalities and general psychology to understand yourself better, may prove to be beneficial. Other than that I think having a good social life is a must as well as true friends, both allow you to discuss whatever in a real life setting.

 

[doubleindemnity]

I'd put money on you being in your 20s. Your concerns and priorities are very much a young mans thing. Nearly every guy in their 20s will be thinking about sex and their appeal to other women. Its pretty normal.

It still matters in your 30s but just to a lesser extent. You begin to have more power in your career and you usually have more responsibilities so you have your mind on other matters.

If you were in your 40s and still worried about this sh*t I would really pity you.

I disagree completely. Firstly, in your 30s, if you're unmarried, you'll have less responsibilities. Life gets easier as you go on. In your career, things will get easier. But people who are bald in their 20s don't manage to get married. And yes you should pity a guy in his 40s worrying about this because he also wasn't able to get married by that age. This is the post of somebody who, as you said, has had their prime. What about people like us on here who don't have a proper late 20s? What about the people here who have never had a girlfriend and won't be able to get married? Can you even relate to them and their experiences? How do you think they feel when you post that things were easiest in your late 20s when they have been years without a single extended romantic interaction with a woman going well? I respect you as a poster but I don't think that you can relate.

A guy who has lost his hair before his late 20s has had his life ruined. Nothing will ever make up for it. All the money in the world can not possibly make up for it. I say this as a guy whose life was ruined completely by hair loss. No high earning and fulfilling job, health, physique, knowledge or achievements have been able to make up for that and I am, as I imagine many on here are, preparing my will to be ready for when I decide that I have had enough.

 

[INT]

A guy who has lost his hair before his late 20s has had his life ruined. Nothing will ever make up for it. All the money in the world can not possibly make up for it. I say this as a guy whose life was ruined completely by hair loss. No high earning and fulfilling job, health, physique, knowledge or achievements have been able to make up for that and I am, as I imagine many on here are, preparing my will to be ready for when I decide that I have had enough.

So because this was the case for you this means that this is the case for everyone?