New GF, scared to tell her about my hairloss. PLEASE HELP!

[neomonk]

Hi everyone, I am 25 yrs old and I recently got a new girlfriend. She is my first girlfriend and we've been dating for the last 4 months. They have been the best 4 months of my life. This girl is my world and we are madly in love. She's told me that she will accept me for who I am and everything. But at the same token, I am scared to death to tell her that I am losing my hair. She is beatiful, intelligent and nice and I'm scared to death that I will lose her to someone else. I'm a diffuse thinner and I'm in a bind because I want to start propecia right away but don't want to suffer any of the sexual side effects since we are becoming initimate. I've also lost my virginity to her because in my heart I know that she may be the "one." How do I bring up the topic to her? And she doesn't know I have hairloss yet because whenever we go out I use toppik and hairspray and use the bed head spikey look. My crown and top of my head is slowly thinning out. I can't hide behind toppik all my life. On more casual days, I wear a hat to conceal my hair loss. She's had pretty good looking bfs in teh past with great hair. But she has told me that I am different from the rest because for the first time in her realtionships, she isn't upset and fighting with her significant other. I guess I am respectful and know how to treat a lady. I'm a nice guy overall. And whats worse is that she is good at giving head massages and she's offered to give me one so many times but I've turned her down because I tell her it "tickles." Someone please kill me now. Make it quick and painless. :shock:

I need help guys. I really do. I feel so down in the dumps right now.

 

[Freestyle]

Re: New GF, scared to tell her about my hairloss. PLEASE HEL

Hi everyone, I am 25 yrs old and I recently got a new girlfriend. She is my first girlfriend and we've been dating for the last 4 months. They have been the best 4 months of my life. This girl is my world and we are madly in love. She's told me that she will accept me for who I am and everything. But at the same token, I am scared to death to tell her that I am losing my hair. She is beatiful, intelligent and nice and I'm scared to death that I will lose her to someone else. I'm a diffuse thinner and I'm in a bind because I want to start propecia right away but don't want to suffer any of the sexual side effects since we are becoming initimate. I've also lost my virginity to her because in my heart I know that she may be the "one." How do I bring up the topic to her? And she doesn't know I have hairloss yet because whenever we go out I use toppik and hairspray and use the bed head spikey look. My crown and top of my head is slowly thinning out. I can't hide behind toppik all my life. On more casual days, I wear a hat to conceal my hair loss. She's had pretty good looking bfs in teh past with great hair. But she has told me that I am different from the rest because for the first time in her realtionships, she isn't upset and fighting with her significant other. I guess I am respectful and know how to treat a lady. I'm a nice guy overall. And whats worse is that she is good at giving head massages and she's offered to give me one so many times but I've turned her down because I tell her it "tickles." Someone please kill me now. Make it quick and painless. :shock:

I need help guys. I really do. I feel so down in the dumps right now.

Start taking Propecia.

Keep using Toppik and hairspray.

If she sees you taking Propecia, just say it's to stop hair loss and you'd rather keep what you have than go bald.

If she sees you using Toppik, show her what it is. Tell her it's a temporary concealer to cover up thinning while you wait for your hair to thicken back up again on treatments. Then show her your Propecia and tell her you have a good chance of keeping your hair while you're on it.

If she loves you, then she's not going to flip out. If you act casually like it's no big deal, then she's going to think it's no big deal. If you sit her down like you're about to tell her someone has died, then she's going to think it's a serious issue.

Don't worry about sexual sides. They're rare. If you get them at all, they go away after time.

Just be honest. You're on medications to stop hair loss. You use concealer to cover it up while this happens. Issue solved.

 

[jakeb]

yep

Freestyle nailed it. Do it his way and you'll come off as a guy who has life under control, makes an effort, and doesn't let things he can't control get him down.

If you sit her down and say "there's something really big that I've been hiding from you and I just don't know how to say it..." then you'll sound like a total nutjob. Don't make it into a bigger deal than it is.

Also, take the finasteride. Seriously. You most likely aren't going to have sides, and you can always stop taking it if you're one of the unlucky side effect guys.

 

[neomonk]

thx for the help guys, i really appreciate it. means the world

 

[Freestyle]

thx for the help guys, i really appreciate it. means the world

Good luck, man.

And like Jake said; show her you're a guy who has things under control.

You care about your appearance. Nothing wrong with that.

I wouldn't even make a point of telling her at all. If she finds out, just explain it as though it's part of your everyday life, and no big deal.

You'll be fine.

 

[-cj-]

I had to have the same discussion with my significant other.

Just tell her, she's not going to care and if anything she'll support you through it, honestly. The best thing I ever did was tell my girlfriend that it was an issue and it bugged me.

Tell her that you've been looking into a few things to help keep your hairloss to a minimum but it could effect a few other things. I highly doubt she's going to grab her stuff and leave!

 

[Stokes]

Never had any problems with getting it up or keeping it hard, been on propecia since 03. She will be happy that you are doing something about it. Its just like her eating healthy to keep her weight down. Same kinda thing....

 

[Petchsky]

Don't tell her anything. My hairline is noticeablly receded, I've been taking Propecia for nearly a year, and in the middle of all that, I have the prettiest girlfriend I ever had in my life. My hairloss is a big deal to me, and yours probably is to you. But my girl doesn't give a sh*t, she's never said anything about it. And I doubt yours would care. If you say anything about it, it might make you sound all weak and worried to her, and girls hate that sh*t. Even though women say they like "sensitive guys", they really don't like it when they can tell you're insecure about something. Just go take your Propecia if you want and don't worry about it.

 

[hairwegoagain]

There's a good chance she noticed your hairloss a long time ago. It's also probable that she hasn't spent as much time thinking about it as you took writing your post. If you have a quality gal, it's won't make any more difference than the kind of toothpaste you prefer.

 

[northeastguy]

I would definitely tell her, but that's just my two cents worth. It's better to go ahead and put everything out there than hide it and possibly get hurt more later on. Chances are she wont even care. I told the girl I'm dating before we started going out, we had been really good friends for a year or two and she was suprisingly dying to go out with me. And I broke it to her and she didn't care, and still doesn't. I wasn't a puss about it(hard to come on strong with it tho) but was just casual that it was something that made me insecure but that its just part of life and I was getting on with it.

So, good luck my friend whatever you choose. Regardless she probably will not care. Once again, good luck.

 

[n1kki6]

ALthough its hard try not to be embarrassed about it. I had a couple girls over the other night and left my minoxidil on my couter and one of them asked about it, and i was just like hell yeah rather that than go bald like its not big deal. Must not have bothered them cause they were over the next night. I am guessing someone you are dating would be even more understanding so I wouldnt get to worried about it.

 

[-cj-]

Any updates?

 

[biff]

Re: New GF, scared to tell her about my hairloss. PLEASE HEL

And whats worse is that she is good at giving head massages

How many people thought he was saying she is good at blow jobs before getting to "massages"? :lol: