Peoples Shame Of Discussing Baldness

[kj6723]

yeah man, I am a little nervous, but it should be fun. I have already gone out with this other girl a couple times, but more on the premise of "being friends first" and getting to know each other. I feel that alleviates some of the stress and is also honest, as I am definitely not looking to jump into a relationship any time soon.

Hair loss has been a huge reservation for me with putting myself out there, but since there are apparently some people out there fooled into thinking I'm still attractive, I see no good reason to keep sitting on the sidelines.

I had a really fun time on my date. I'd almost forgotten how nice it is to experience that whole high school type puppy love affection with someone where there's mutual attraction. This girl is also pretty cool...so far lol (with some of the bullsh*t I've seen people pull at this point in my life, I realize it's hard to know if someone is actually a decent person).

You'll be good, especially if she's actually into you. I wouldn't worry

 

[buckthorn]

Just take what you can get .

I don't know about this. i would definitely rather live a life single than a life with someone that I am not attracted to. I can be alone and happy. No problem. I'll get a big farm up in northern cali, and be totally content. IF a woman comes along great. IF not, oh well. The built up expectation of some super happy, disney marriage is the exact reason why so many people end up married and miserable, or divorced.

 

[shookwun]

Kudos to you for not being a beta push over. I take it you have also gone route where you had no partners for a very long time.

After awhile you don't care. However, if someone comes along that's great. Nothing worse then being a male tampon and depending on someone else for happiness.



Having a good job, hobbies and interests outside of pussy is very important.

Money is underrated. It won't get you pussy, but I can tell you first hand nothing beats having a solid bank account and the ability to do whatever you want. Helps us cope and gives us financial freedom versus the waiting till your next pay cheque life style. Nothing more depressing then being in your thirties, and twenties working dead end jobs. Mix balding into this and you have a cocktail for bad years to come!

 

[buckthorn]

Kudos to you for not being a beta push over. I take it you have also gone route where you had no partners for a very long time.

After awhile you don't care. However, if someone comes along that's great. Nothing worse then being a male tampon and depending on someone else for happiness.



Having a good job, hobbies and interests outside of pussy is very important.

Money is underrated. It won't get you pussy, but I can tell you first hand nothing beats having a solid bank account and the ability to do whatever you want. Helps us cope and gives us financial freedom versus the waiting till your next pay cheque life style. Nothing more depressing then being in your thirties, and twenties working dead end jobs. Mix balding into this and you have a cocktail for bad years to come!

Amen brother. I was a push over in one relationship without even knowing it. As soon as she sensed my kindness and willingness to help, she infected my brain like a microscopic parasite and fed there for a while. She had a baby from another man, so she leveraged this a lot. By the time it was over, it was sickening to experience first hand a human being that would use a 5 month old to manipulate another person. Like I always say, I love and respect women, yet at the same time know their immense capability to control men.

 

[blackg]

I think it's reasonable and rational to just say goodbye to relationships. I seriously believe this. I seriously don't think this attitude is unhealthy. I think it's logical and smart. f*ck.

You will disappoint us all if you just give up now, mate

Keep going.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I can't tell if girls don't like nice guys because:

1) They don't like pushovers (direct dislike), they want to feel submissive and not feel like her majesty;
2) Being nice correlates with other attributes (indirect dislike), such as being the lower status person in a relationship. If an 8 is dating a 5, the 5 might turn into a supplicant, then the 8 will dump him on the basis that "he's too nice", but she was probably eventually going to dump him regardless;
3) Frequent niceness dilutes the value of regular niceness (semi direct dislike), like if you bring her flowers multiple times a year she will stop valuing flowers;
4) They genuinely do like nice guys, but men are delusional about who's nice and who isn't, for example the "nice guys of okcupid", all of those men thought they were filled with compassion, and they weren't, they just came off as delusional;

 

[I.D WALKER]

I don't know, maybe they don't, it's just that I find their suffering quite soothing.

It's easy to distrust the kind acts of a person with good looks especially if we're insecure about our own appearances. If we examine ourselves more closely and honestly it's possible we may come to the startling realization at a subconscious level, that our
wary judgement or perception of good looking people itself can act or take the shape of reverse hypocrisy. We can all be cruel in our judgement and treatment of others. With power (should come responsibility), but we know this is hardly the case.
By the same token, at least for those of us who are continually overwhelmed by a sense of powerlessness,
it is imperative to our safety (as well as others) that we arrive at our better senses in a hurry;
this way we are not confused as allies of Arrogance, our true, and indiscriminate social enemy.

I think good looks can give it's ignorant and/or mean spirited possessor greater latitude
to act more carelessly, so at face value might imply they get away with more, even if caught. This is unfair
yet we are wrong to believe that behind the shiny visage of every good looking person, lies an inauthentic, conniving, and unkind person.

I am overstating the obvious here with purposeful intent; we all know or know someone who has know at least one or two "ugly and attractive" persons in their life, who have said and done a lot of ugly things? Yet we tirelessly admire, judge and fight over beautiful material things still while acknowledging that not much good can ever come from it. Riddled with frustration and blinded by our recalcitrant pride, how can we ever hope to win, when we repeatedly choose to disqualify mankind's truest beauty a minute after our accustomed convenience(s) is re-secured?

Sincere kindness is a shy, serene beauty that lies within us.
It waits for every straggler to catch up.
Quietly, unconcerned and perfectly aware that one day
every person will eventually yearn for it's embrace or seek to embrace it.
Sincere kindness may never be crowned humankind's greatest beauty or achievement.
Personally it will forever be our greatest source of redemption.[/QUOTE]

 

[Joan]

They "treat me nicely" out of a misplaced sense of superiority, and they simply keep up a pretense of respect to my face to appear better than they actually are. They ALL feel superior, in a way or the other, and treat me accordingly. They're all the same in the end, and I'm tired of their hypocrisy. I don't even care about what they say anymore, it's useless.

I'm sorry that you must interact with toxic people, Dante. I hope you have at least a few people in your life who truly care about you and who love you.

 

[Dante92]

I'm sorry that you must interact with toxic people, Dante. I hope you have at least a few people in your life who truly care about you and who love you.

That's exactly what I was referring to. Funny. No. Maybe just ironic.

 

[Joan]

JOOOOOAAAANNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How's life treating you?

Hey, buckthorn! As I'm sure some would agree, hair loss only makes other things we must face in life that much harder, but still we carry on somehow. I agree with the advice of kj6723 and blackj (who never fails to give me a good laugh!). It's way too soon for you to throw in the towel.

 

[Joan]

That's exactly what I was referring to. Funny. No. Maybe just ironic.

I'm sorry, but I confuse easily. I'm not sure what you mean by that.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Still with the gross preponderance of perks apparently reserved for good looking people, the badge of victimization wears like sh*t on the best of them.

 

[Roberto_72]

@David_MPN
One more theory as to why girls don't like nice guys. Nice guys who are sweet are a burden because if the girl loses interest she will have to break it off herself and she won't have any excuses to do so since he is not a bad guy. In that sense, "bad" guys come with an easy way out of a relationship if they do find someone better.

Having said that, it amazes me how women will indefinitely pursue a guy who treats them like crap.

Nice guys get friend-zoned - you want to be right in the middle, not too nice and not too bad. Basically, don't be a pushover and set your limits and if they don't like it, they need to know you can find someone else who will. Otherwise, if they sense that your sexual net-worth is entirely dependent on them liking you, then they will quickly realize you are not worth much at all (this applies to both guys and girls).

The incredibile thing about this phenomenon is that is happens in seconds.
One moment you think a lady is extra cool.
One moment later she says something that suggests she is being too needy... And the dark descends over your infatuation. You want to go to her and ask her "WHY did you have to say that!!!"

And I also understand it is a one way street, meaning that when either you or the other person comes out as too needy, it is absolutely impossible for you or for her to recuperate. The relationship is bound very very South.

 

[I.D WALKER]

I'm sorry, but I confuse easily. I'm not sure what you mean by that.

Thanks for that Joan.
I'm happy to learn I 'm not the only poster who has that effect over you.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Personal hygiene is a good sign you're not quite as mentally blown as you'ld have some of us believe.

 

[EvilLocks]

That's exactly what I was referring to. Funny. No. Maybe just ironic.

Joan was just trying to be nice to you. Why don't you try the same for once?

 

[I.D WALKER]

"Mentally blown"? Nah, only dangerously depressed, and I laugh so as not to cry.

Yes uncontrollable laughter has been associated with some severe forms of mania.

 

[Joan]

Joan was just trying to be nice to you. Why don't you try the same for once?

Thank you, EvilLocks.

Maybe Dante doesn't realize I'm 53 and have an older son close to his age (I think he said he's in his 20s) who's been losing hair since he was 18 and that some people do sympathize with him.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Don't let SV jr. fool you Joan,
He's surreptitiously "hamming up" your signature gesture(s) of grace.

 

[Dante92]

Thank you, EvilLocks.

Maybe Dante doesn't realize I'm 53 and have an older son close to his age (I think he said he's in his 20s) who's been losing hair since he was 18 and that some people do sympathize with him.

I didn't know it, sorry.