Responding to Teasing

[sandovalusa]

Teasing...

I went to a Christmas dinner with a bunch of family and friends I had not seen in a long time. One man kept referring to the fact that I had a shaved head at every chance he got. For example, I went outside and made a phone call. When I came back in, he pointed at my head and said "must be cold out there, eh?"

I wanted to yell "$@#$ YOU!!" but obviously doing so would make me look like a lunatic and it would make me an outcast amongst my friends and family. Instead, I smiled and chuckled and agreed that it was cold outside.

How would you respond in this specific situation?
How would you respond in general?

 

[Smooth]

I personally dont like to hold my feelings, if i get insulted i insult right back, i had a guy pointing my hairlose at work and went on his ugly-*** broken teeth.

the best way is to avoid or ignore the comments by others, sadly easier said then done as fail each time...

 

[billythekid]

it depends on what u want to achieve.

i would have gone up to him and smiled and grabbed his shoulder very firmly (in a threatening way) and said something random but related, like 'it is a little chilly out there, but i'm sure you will be fine'

 

[Draco88]

^^That's just weird.

It sucks that there are idiots like this..usually there's nothing you can say 'back' to them, that will make them reconsider next time, without making yourself look threatening, or an idiot etc

Two of my so called friends, who have made comments in the past about my hair (and now seem to have just settled on openly staring at my hair), well since i've known for quite some time, i also know that both suffer from some serious self esteem issues, so i've planned a come back, if they ever say something to me again, and i think it's the type that won't make it clear that i've been offended, since people who make those comments, want you to be offended.

 

[qball01]

hey man, good to see another young baldie on this site...stay strong man, and don't buy too much into a lot of the negative BS you read around here....also, you look good with a shaved head, good head-shape, and I'm sure the scars will fade over time (and theres lotions and creams which can help with that, such as vitamin E).

Anyways, I'm not sure what else this guy said...but based on that comment I wouldn't take it as a full on insult. Sometimes people are just generally interested/curious about someone who has shaved his head...a lot of people are socially akward and make comments that they aren't aware go beyond somebody's boundaries. But you have to realize that if you had felt more comfortable with it, a comment like that wouldn't have been a big deal to you either. Like I said though...I'm not sure what else he said, maybe he was being a dick...and in that case you just have to show him its not OK to make comments like that. But the less people can see you care, the less inclined they are to persist....so I really think that is key. Otherwise...some people are just f*****g douchebags, eventually theres not much more you can do than accept that and don't let people like that reflect on how you see yourself, because if YOU are a good, standup guy who treats himself and others with respect...then somebody who needs to make malicious comments to make himself feel better is just truly beneath you and you should see him as such...see him like you would a fly....annoying and slightly bothersome when you first encounter it, but overall insignificant.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Welcome to the forums Sandoval...I know what you are going through. Alot of what Qball says is true...there are alot of insensitive, clueless people out there that may make fun of you for being bald, under the assumption that you can take what they dish out and not take it personally. Sometimes, it's not so innocent and people can be cruel and feel as though it's ok to belittle someone for something that they will never have to worry about. Either way, neither is fun to experience and as unfortunate as it is, there is little you can do other than grin and bear it, then come here and vent about it. It's sucks being bald at such a young age but this place can help you manage your feelings and get others feedback and insights, some helpful and some not so much. Looking forward to your contributions Sandoval.

 

[sandovalusa]

@uncomfortable man and @qball01 - Thanks for the advice and support. I chose this forum out of other forums because I like the atmosphere. I've been lurking around here a while before actually deciding to make an account. I plan to stick around.

@Smooth - If I'm directly insulted, I would definitely shoot an insult back. What about when its a passive aggressive joke like in my example? If he makes a light hearted comment and I shoot back telling him that he has screwed up teeth, it makes me look insecure and it makes me out to be the bad guy. I want to stay on good terms with people but I want to let it be known that I don't like the constant attention on my head.

 

[sandovalusa]

@dudemon - I love it! I can play dumb and ask for clarification about the bald comments. By having to explain his snide remark, he will look like a jerk in front of everyone! That is a good way of turning the tables without making myself look like an #@$-hole.

 

[Smooth]

If he makes a light hearted comment and I shoot back telling him that he has screwed up teeth

lol the guy was literally pointing my hair going "ha ha ha", in situations like this i say go full force on them.

I like how dude handles with his unique way.. i guess when its not a direct insult then a passive aggressive is the way to go... either this or just ignore them.

funny just the other day some guy in my class asked me something before an exam, while i tried to explain to him and his friends (there was like 4 guys around) i noticed that he was looking DIRECTLY into my scalp, now it wasnt a glance or something, he wasn't listening to what i was saying, i just went out of the blue :" yeah, im losing it, i know...now can we go back to the question you asked"... he looked shocked and so embarrassed, he couldnt look me in the eyes after that. :dunno: