Social Drawbacks To Being An Incel ( Not Only Relationship )

[blackg]

There's a lot of truth to this but I think it overlooks the fact that being unattractive is still an uphill battle in every way, just as being attractive is a downhill free ride that can be difficult to f*** up.

An ugly or even average guy has to be impressionable for people to want to be with socially, when there's no clear visible signs that this is a person you want to be known to know, then subconsciously you don't want to know them socially unless you're positively manipulated otherwise.

An attractive guy will automatically attract such social attention as he already has a social standing above an average person. Many traits in his personality are already unattainable for a less attractive man, for example, by simply being normal and not arrogant, he is therefore humble. By simply not being a self-obsessed hack, as it is assumed he could very well be, because of his social status as attractive, he is adorned a positive quality, by doing absolutely nothing.

For an average guy to be humble he needs to have achieved things, he's in a band, skateboards, travels, and barely mentions it. For an ugly guy, multiply more of these positive attributes with each other (for example a top class degree, multi-lingual, published writer, DJ), and if he doesn't brag about these achievements, he is then humble.

For those endless hours of work, he achieves the same status as a handsome man, who simply doesn't brag about how many chicks are on his phone. The only way the handsome man can f*** this free ride up is by being a total social retard, either by bragging or being obnoxiously introverted.

I know plenty of guys with this "free ride" who really have absolutely nothing to them, but because they aren't instantly obnoxious, are embraced by people around them. I even have good friends that I like, who from time-to-time kind of hate the aforementioned typical good looking friend, because they simply wouldn't hang around with them unless status is involved.

And let's not forget that females, sex, and a love life is imperative among the alpha males out there, which represent a considerable amount of the targeted social market, not the majority by any means but most importantly, carry the most influential weight.

This is simply a harsh truth, but by being incel or mainly romantically un-involved with anyone most of the time, you are seen as weird by alpha males, they can't relate to this and see you as questionable in different ways. Possibly homosexual, possibly a paedophile, or maybe some weird otherkin thing they've read about and laughed at.

Being ugly cuts out a lot of social opportunities with these types which can be vital, that's not to say it's the end of it, but you definitely don't have that accessibility to the top of the social food chain.

Your "in's" come a lot lower than that, and your impressionability will decide on your survival with those "in's", and the moments you rub shoulders with the higher ups may decide if those previous bonds with the "in's" are suddenly broken.

Oh sweet jesus!! Rein the length of your post in a bit. I lead a busy life!

 

[Rudiger]

I lead a busy life!

That's gotta be the funniest post you've ever made.

 

[blackg]

The only payback good, kind people will get is mistreatment, betrayal and disappointment. No good deed goes unpunished.

I experienced this first-hand. I'm kind, overly polite, condescending, all I got back is sh*t.

Well no f*****g wonder!

 

[blackg]

That's gotta be the funniest post you've ever made.

Thanks mate.

 

[Rudiger]

I have to admit that although in the past I've said it doesn't bother me that people do not read my lengthy posts and comment ignorantly on the obvious fact that they are lengthy, it is bothering when a retard like blackg passes comment on it. Every. f*****g. Time.

I put a lot of thought in that post in explaining exactly what I mean, ignore it if you want, I ignore others lengthy posts as well, I don't feel the need to comment on it.

 

[uhoil]

Well...

It's true that attractive people have it easier in life, including making friends.

In my own experience, attractive people don't have to do as much as others in order to be validated. I am above average in the looks department, and I'm pretty tall as well, but I do prefer to hang out with below average looking guys, because most of the time they're not assholes.

I've seen girls treat me differently, I get invited more often to hang out, and they laugh with me when I'm around, even though I am a very awkward and reserved person, I admit it.

Meanwhile my friends, they have to put more effort in order to gain attention from these very same girls. They have to dress better and be more extroverted.

Makes me sad, because they're awesome, they're better than me in many aspects, but get looked down just because they're shorter or uglier. Wish people gave more importance to what's inside.

 

[blackg]

I do prefer to hang out with below average looking guys, because most of the time they're not assholes.

Hahha... This made me laugh a bit.
So your below average friends aren't assholes.... yet!!
Give it a few years and then witness all of that pent up resentment that your so-called friends harbour start to seeps itself out from every pore.
It usually results from years of being left on the sidelines, throughout their youth and then into middle age.
Ohhh.. and it will come out!
And it has only one place to go...
It will be spewed at those closest to them, especially those who they perceive as living a "better" life then them.
It's coming!

Drop them now, they probably already secretly hate you.

 

[Exodus2011]

His life will improve for sure, there's no denying that.

Even when something good happens to people, you think it's fake.

This is paranoia, my brainwashed conspirationist Muslim cousin thinks like that.

All human interactions are about deceiving and manipulating each other to get what one wants.

Yeah right, try that for a few months and tell me how great it works out for you.

Trust is the most valuable human resource, if you behave like a psychopath who treats people unfairly and is only concerned about getting what they want, you're going to pay for it eventually.

It might take months, years, even decades, but make no mistake, payback is coming for that kind of people. People distance themselves from them after having been hurt too many times, or their own conscience eats them up.

That's what I believe anyway. No one ever gets away with anything, even good-looking assholes .

so i see you learned something from Professor Exo's lectures on the indispensability of morality

 

[Exodus2011]

There's a lot of truth to this but I think it overlooks the fact that being unattractive is still an uphill battle in every way, just as being attractive is a downhill free ride that can be difficult to f*** up.

An ugly or even average guy has to be impressionable for people to want to be with socially, when there's no clear visible signs that this is a person you want to be known to know, then subconsciously you don't want to know them socially unless you're positively manipulated otherwise.

An attractive guy will automatically attract such social attention as he already has a social standing above an average person. Many traits in his personality are already unattainable for a less attractive man, for example, by simply being normal and not arrogant, he is therefore humble. By simply not being a self-obsessed hack, as it is assumed he could very well be, because of his social status as attractive, he is adorned a positive quality, by doing absolutely nothing.

For an average guy to be humble he needs to have achieved things, he's in a band, skateboards, travels, and barely mentions it. For an ugly guy, multiply more of these positive attributes with each other (for example a top class degree, multi-lingual, published writer, DJ), and if he doesn't brag about these achievements, he is then humble.

For those endless hours of work, he achieves the same status as a handsome man, who simply doesn't brag about how many chicks are on his phone. The only way the handsome man can f*** this free ride up is by being a total social retard, either by bragging or being obnoxiously introverted.

I know plenty of guys with this "free ride" who really have absolutely nothing to them, but because they aren't instantly obnoxious, are embraced by people around them. I even have good friends that I like, who from time-to-time kind of hate the aforementioned typical good looking friend, because they simply wouldn't hang around with them unless status is involved.

And let's not forget that females, sex, and a love life is imperative among the alpha males out there, which represent a considerable amount of the targeted social market, not the majority by any means but most importantly, carry the most influential weight.

This is simply a harsh truth, but by being incel or mainly romantically un-involved with anyone most of the time, you are seen as weird by alpha males, they can't relate to this and see you as questionable in different ways. Possibly homosexual, possibly a paedophile, or maybe some weird otherkin thing they've read about and laughed at.

Being ugly cuts out a lot of social opportunities with these types which can be vital, that's not to say it's the end of it, but you definitely don't have that accessibility to the top of the social food chain.

Your "in's" come a lot lower than that, and your impressionability will decide on your survival with those "in's", and the moments you rub shoulders with the higher ups may decide if those previous bonds with the "in's" are suddenly broken.

a lot of the time the most popular people are humble though. comes with the territory of being socially adjusted and handsome. you know, the kind of guy who becomes president and CEO. hard working and assertive yet friendly. the socially perfect combo. someone like obama.

 

[Exodus2011]

Ah... OK.

lol scarcasm?

 

[RegenWaiting]

His life will improve for sure, there's no denying that.

Even when something good happens to people, you think it's fake.

This is paranoia, my brainwashed conspirationist Muslim cousin thinks like that.

All human interactions are about deceiving and manipulating each other to get what one wants.

Yeah right, try that for a few months and tell me how great it works out for you.

Trust is the most valuable human resource, if you behave like a psychopath who treats people unfairly and is only concerned about getting what they want, you're going to pay for it eventually.

It might take months, years, even decades, but make no mistake, payback is coming for that kind of people. People distance themselves from them after having been hurt too many times, or their own conscience eats them up.

That's what I believe anyway. No one ever gets away with anything, even good-looking assholes .

If only justice was served, always. Sadly, that's not the case in my experience while being on this earth.
Not only do individuals get away with *A LOT*, but even entire countries get away with heavy duty - sh*t on humanity sh*t.
Rich countries buy out quota for carbondioxide from poor ones, imperialists enslave (with different strategies) foreign populations,
genocides are reality all over the world, and war crimes are as common as they come. Who answers for this? - The losing/weaker part. Always.
There's no fairness and justice. The winner writes the history and chooses who gets to live on.

As for 'clinical psychopats', no they don't own a counscience.

I like how you would like it to be like this though. And I respect you for spreading the ''good word''.
Also, setting such high ethical and morale standards for yourself is admirable.
Wish more people would have that 'line of thinking' and counscience, it's just that -
today we've never been closer to a more egocentric world in which there's
really just one rule:

Survival of the fittest (good looking, IQ etc factors...you know them all I'm sure)

Cheers

 

[Bklyn_23]

An attractive guy will automatically attract such social attention as he already has a social standing above an average person. Many traits in his personality are already unattainable for a less attractive man, for example, by simply being normal and not arrogant, he is therefore humble. By simply not being a self-obsessed hack, as it is assumed he could very well be, because of his social status as attractive, he is adorned a positive quality, by doing absolutely nothing.

For an average guy to be humble he needs to have achieved things, he's in a band, skateboards, travels, and barely mentions it. For an ugly guy, multiply more of these positive attributes with each other (for example a top class degree, multi-lingual, published writer, DJ), and if he doesn't brag about these achievements, he is then humble.

For those endless hours of work, he achieves the same status as a handsome man, who simply doesn't brag about how many chicks are on his phone. The only way the handsome man can f*** this free ride up is by being a total social retard, either by bragging or being obnoxiously introverted.

This was a great insight, and very true from my experience as an attractive man. You're ascribed good qualities simply because you aren't a jerk - as if being a jerk as an attractive person is somehow to be expected and thus not being one is laudable. Pretty strange when you think about it.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I already told you I was bullied in high school and it didn't stop until I stood up for myself.

You can't just be good and kind all the time, especially when people disrespect you, that doesn't make you a good person, that just makes you naive and easy to pick on.

Have you ever tried to show some teeth? To at the very least point out to people that what they're doing is unacceptable and that you don't like it?

Often that's enough, I know that was enough for me in high school. But make no mistake, this isn't easy, especially if you already let the bullying go too far.

Just tell people to stop. Whether you believe it or not, bare a few exceptions, even the biggest a**h** can tell the difference between right and wrong.

Again, I know people who are ugly and bald yet no one fucks with them and they get respect from others.

You need to stop believing that there is something wrong with the whole world and that you're perfect (and good and kind!) as you are.

If he's not in a good emotional place to fight back right now, it may not be the best place to start.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Just an anecdote for you guys,

A while back I went to a yoga class with two married women from my work that after a year I became friends with. I got there ten minutes before they did (we take different routes to get there due to living in different areas). They got there and saw that there were mats next to me and they asked me to move my mat to an emptier part of the room.

Can you guess why?

It's because they wanted the three of us to practice near each other. The good-looking guys won't understand this, but part of me was surprised that they weren't relieved that I'd be at the other end of the room due to finding me disgusting. It actually didn't occur to me that they'd prefer to have me practice adjacent them.

That is the sort of social positioning that becomes internalized following decades of bullying, being unattractive, being afraid of repelling women, et cetera. I'm probably socially isolating myself on numerous occasions without even realizing it.

 

[Rudiger]

This was a great insight, and very true from my experience as an attractive man. You're ascribed good qualities simply because you aren't a jerk - as if being a jerk as an attractive person is somehow to be expected and thus not being one is laudable. Pretty strange when you think about it.

The reason I know is because I'm also attractive.

*TRIGGER WARNING HUMBLE BRAG MIXED WITH "It's not fair I'm so pretty" BULLSHIT*

I am a pretty calm person outside of this forum, I realise how to be respectful towards others and take a moment if I feel like losing my cool, because I'm basically not a c***, people really do think I'm an incredibly nice guy. When I'm not, at least in terms of what society would generally classify as a "nice guy", I really am cynical about most people, I can get quite judgemental, and I feel this is all justified. I think 80% or more of people are quite deplorable, hypocritical, narcissistic beyond a salvegeable point, I don't know if I'm any different, but I know for certain that I'm being treated different.

And I need to remove the element of women altogether when talking about this, because obviously there's a bias in the way that I want any advantage over women that I can get. I don't give a sh*t about being treated positively for something outside my control, I'll just embrace it, no questions ask.

But it's the friendship bonds I instantly form with men who seem to be somewhat admirable of the fact I'm a good looking guy who is somewhat impressionable and has humour and opinions, these could all be at a basic level, or I could be hilarious and incredibly interesting. The point is, I'll never know, I don't know how to gauge what I am and what I'm progressing towards as a person.

We've posted TedTalks on here about supermodels who feel shitty because they don't know their true value as people, and my instinctive reaction is "f*****g bullshit!" but no, it's not at all. I can imagine it being ten times worse for attractive females as their value as a person, within themselves, is diminished to nothing. On top of that there's a guilt of "I didn't actually do anything to deserve adoration".

I can imagine many people's reaction to this as "wah wah wah I've been gifted so many opportunities of happiness without any payback whatsoever" well f*** off. If you're average or ugly at least you understand how you are as a human being and can gauge what you're about, because I'm completely f*****g clueless, and this does not inspire productivity.

Anything I do or be will be lauded and praised even if it's mediocre, so what's the f*****g point.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I am a pretty calm person outside of this forum, I realise how to be respectful towards others and take a moment if I feel like losing my cool, because I'm basically not a c***,

I read this and what I strongly suspect is that you're belligerent off this forum but you're oblivious to it.

 

[CopeForLife]

Just an anecdote for you guys,

A while back I went to a yoga class with two married women from my work that after a year I became friends with. I got there ten minutes before they did (we take different routes to get there due to living in different areas). They got there and saw that there were mats next to me and they asked me to move my mat to an emptier part of the room.

Can you guess why?

It's because they wanted the three of us to practice near each other. The good-looking guys won't understand this, but part of me was surprised that they weren't relieved that I'd be at the other end of the room due to finding me disgusting. It actually didn't occur to me that they'd prefer to have me practice adjacent them.

That is the sort of social positioning that becomes internalized following decades of bullying, being unattractive, being afraid of repelling women, et cetera. I'm probably socially isolating myself on numerous occasions without even realizing it.

I didn't understand.

So they wanted 3 of you to practice together or have you in the empties part of room i.e. farther than before?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I didn't understand.

So they wanted 3 of you to practice together or have you in the empties part of room i.e. farther than before?

They wanted the three of us to practice together.

That took me by surprise, because my assumption (which I was not always conscious of) was that women would want as much distance as possible.

 

[CopeForLife]

They wanted the three of us to practice together.

That took me by surprise, because my assumption (which I was not always conscious of) was that women would want as much distance as possible.

slayer

just finished my cheesecake and it was amazing as ever

 

[Rudiger]

I read this and what I strongly suspect is that you're belligerent off this forum but you're oblivious to it.

I think when someone writes what they are, there's a gut instinct to believe they are compensating for what they are not. That gut instinct is often wrong, especially when examining someone closely and their perception of themselves.

While there's times when I get angry, I have way too many instances of people constantly telling me I'm a nice guy, especially when they don't need to or feel this is an "admission" that they don't want to admit, that I know for sure that this is what I'm perceived as.

You didn't explain very well as to why you thought this, it was one sentence, and I'm going to mark this down to another "David-ism" of bitterness and intended malice out of nothing, rather than forming a reasonable opinion based on anything, it's just bias against me. The other day you Liked posts against me that blackg made about me being generally and vaguely unlikable, but his posts were ridiculously broad and nonsensical.

You don't normally engage with such vague posts but you Liked these ones. It's pretty clear to me that it was about me, and you couldn't care less about the reasoning behind them, as long as it's about me, as someone who badmouthed you, that's all that matters.

Keep pretending that there was nothing more to my attack on you than "jumping on the bandwagon" but acknowledge that I waited until everyone else had finished, because I don't want to be lumped in with them. Like you acknowledged, I am not afraid of thinking for and expressing myself in my own ways, and your attempt at saying I am "ganging up" on you, rather than focusing on what I actually said, is a clear sign of insecurity, and that would be insecurity of the truth.