The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[resu]

Resu, fear is tough to conquer. I wish I could help you out more to overcome your anxiety but you have to keep searching in ways to deal with it. I was surprised you have never dated anyone in your lifetime. I hope that changes some day.

I had girlfriends, what I said was that I never went on a date with a stranger. I don't think it's possible to overcome some of my anxiety triggers, at least I never had panic attacks or anything like that, my brain just stays on a loop thinking about all the different scenarios or situations for days to months on end!

 

[resu]

After a dozen dates, you're starting to understand how it works and you'll realize that the patterns are almost always the same.

I can tell you that I was terrified when I started this online dating thing, scared out of my wits, and the fear lingers for a while, especially if you go through long periods without any dates.

But once I was in "cruise mode" and after having accumulated enough experience, the anxiety was pretty much gone

Yeah but in the past you could try and "practice" with 4 and 5's with flaws but now they're going out with guys way better looking and with better prospects than me. Online dating skewed things, I never dated anyone I would classify as unattractive to me, I like cute but not "hot" women, that's why it blows my mind when I see guys way better looking than me with women that I would give me ED. The whole "just lower your standards" only applies to guys and it doesn't work, everyone has their own tastes and trying to go way below them it's going to lead to a very bad experience.

For guys like me, it's better to meet women IRL than to go on a date and online dating would be total humiliation. Anyway it's pointless now, hair loss double downed on my misery, no matter what I do it keeps chasing me.

 

[Xander94]

Yeah but in the past you could try and "practice" with 4 and 5's with flaws but now they're going out with guys way better looking and with better prospects than me. Online dating skewed things, I never dated anyone I would classify as unattractive to me, I like cute but not "hot" women, that's why it blows my mind when I see guys way better looking than me with women that I would give me ED. The whole "just lower your standards" only applies to guys and it doesn't work, everyone has their own tastes and trying to go way below them it's going to lead to a very bad experience.

For guys like me, it's better to meet women IRL than to go on a date and online dating would be total humiliation.

Holy sh*t dude after reading your post I realize I f*****g missed a great chance. f***

 

[pjhair]

Holy sh*t dude after reading your post I realize I f*****g missed a great chance. f***

Don't sweat it. Just keep doing what you are doing and keep meeting people. You will find someone. We all have missed out on great opportunities.

 

[resu]

Not true, people (and that includes women) are all forced to learn their worth at a point.

If you think most 5/10 woman think that they can successfully land a 8/10 boyfriend, you're mistaken.

Many women will tell you that they went through the phase of trying to date a hot guy just to be harshly dumped.

That goes for online dating too, there were studies on this: most people know their worth and gravitate towards looksmatched people.

Hell how could I get by online in an international city? I'm no male model myself, yet I've had a satisfying dating life using online dating almost exclusively.

These are all excuses, no all women are not trying to date male models. Only pathologically delusional average women will think that they can.

You live in a country with a very high percentage of attractive women, try going to south of Europe and see how it really is over here, Dante92 states all the time he sees noticeable flawed women with jacked up guys, same as me because in our regions the guys are better looking than the women from a numbers perspective.

I don't think women learn anything, they just hit a certain point where they can no longer attract 7 and 8's for various reasons and are stuck to try and find a beta provider. Basically it all boils down to either looks or status, a guy that has both it's an all you can eat buffet, they can go older or younger, model or minger, tall or petit.

 

[Rudiger]

I think you lack experience on this, I've talked to many, many women over the years who have told me that they learn their lesson, and many of them actually learn from their peers' mistakes when it comes to shooting too high.

They get wary of the good-looking guys, you're talking as if women were empty vessels that are not capable of critical thinking and unable to learn from their negative experiences, and as if none of them had insecurities, as if they all thought they could attract the best-looking guy.

Reality is different and more complex, obviously. Most women want meaningful relationships and they quickly learn (unless they are willingly burying their head in the sand) that they won't get those by chasing the top guys.

I'd even say that the majority of women learn this very early, even before getting out of adolescence. They see average/ugly girls their age "putting out" for the most handsome guys who want an easy lay but the hot ones can be too prudish, but by the age of 16-18 when all girls are becoming sexually active, the ugly slutty ones get left behind. It happens so blatantly and transparently, and it's quite a humiliating lesson for the girls who punched above their weight because other ones their age felt it was too early to spread their legs.

lol

 

[resu]

I think you lack experience on this, I've talked to many, many women over the years who have told me that they learn their lesson, and many of them actually learn from their peers' mistakes when it comes to shooting too high.

They get wary of the good-looking guys, you're talking as if women were empty vessels that are not capable of critical thinking and unable to learn from their negative experiences, and as if none of them had insecurities, as if they all thought they could attract the best-looking guy.

Reality is different and more complex, obviously. Most women want meaningful relationships and they quickly learn (unless they are willingly burying their head in the sand) that they won't get those by chasing the top guys.

But most women aren't critical thinkers at all, even at old age it's hard for me to find one, these guys may be good looking but are wimps because themselves don't want to be cheated so they settle for lower, it's a win-win for both, plus women dictate the dating game these days and have more jobs available to them, they're also more educated since men don't go to colleges in higher numbers like it was in the past. Women don't like to carry over a guy unless it's a boytoy naturally, hence why college educated, high payed women have serious issues finding a man.
Meaningful relationships only enter into play when it's time to start to a family, when they want to have kids it's when you see things get more evenly. Even when it's time to settle if you don't check all the requirements you're put on a very short leash, anything can be used to break the relationship.

 

[Xander94]

Fear is easy to conquer. Ugliness is not.

I've literally seen an ugly manlet with a 7+ woman blonde blue eyes taller than me. He didnt have money or status either. I don't know how he did it though.

We are talking about a literal manlet 155 cm or something

 

[resu]

I've literally seen an ugly manlet with a 7+ woman blonde blue eyes taller than me. He didnt have money or status either. I don't know how he did it though.

We are talking about a literal manlet 155 cm or something

I see those couples too and I have no idea how it happens, if anything is possible of happening it will happen I guess, maybe she has herpes or something worse.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

You live in a country with a very high percentage of attractive women, try going to south of Europe and see how it really is over here, Dante92 states all the time he sees noticeable flawed women with jacked up guys, same as me because in our regions the guys are better looking than the women from a numbers perspective.

I don't think women learn anything, they just hit a certain point where they can no longer attract 7 and 8's for various reasons and are stuck to try and find a beta provider. Basically it all boils down to either looks or status, a guy that has both it's an all you can eat buffet, they can go older or younger, model or minger, tall or petit.

I'm sorry but the way genetics and childhood nutrition works there should be equal number of attractive men and women.

There are lots of beautiful women in southern Europe. I've been to Italy.

 

[resu]

I'm sorry but the way genetics and childhood nutrition works there should be equal number of attractive men and women.

There are lots of beautiful women in southern Europe. I've been to Italy.

Some regional phenotypes favor attractiveness on females while on other regions on males.

 

[SmoothSailing]

It's a fact that there are much more guys than girls in Ireland who've never been in a relationship. This proves hypergamy IMO.

On the other hand after mid 20s this changes somewhat. Most of the older guys in my work have looksmatched gfs whether they are ugly, short or balding.

Girls learn pretty quick that chad will pump and dump them. But below average girls will manage to punch a small bit above their weight leaving below average guys with nothing for a while.

Also tinder is about 3 - 4 times easier here in Colombia than in Dublin. Just need to improve my Spanish and I'll be laughing.

 

[resu]

It seems many of us have been disconnected from reality for a while.

I see the couple on my girlfriend Facebook and believe or not, I've seen some NW6's in their early 20's with decent-looking females that were not even fat.

My girlfriend sees nothing wrong with those couples, and I don't dare to comment otherwise I could be labelled as shallow and obsessive, and she would be right.

The views on this forum are quite unique and yes, extreme. It's easy to see that only a tiny portion of the population consciously focuses on looks and their importance.

I mean just look at the average person on the street, not only are they a mess when it comes to their appearance, but they don't even seem to be aware of it.

They just walk around with their gut, their messy NW4 and their XXL clothes and are like "what?! I'm beautiful!".

That said, baldness affects people's subconscious judgement about you, there's no denying that. It can be subtle and vary from person to person but in general, bald men will get less attention, less smiles from strangers (or people they know), less special treatment.

But to say that baldness prevents you from having a decent-looking partner (if baldness doesn't turn you into a monster), I disagree.

It's not baldness alone it's the height! If I was tall I wouldn't care about hair loss to this degree specially if it was the normal pattern of temple recession but with my looks baldness is a death sentence. Other people are willing to do and engage in other activities, endure their demands and yes it's possible to find someone attractive but for how long? And is it an healthy relationship? Just because you see these couples doesn't mean they even let them grab their butt, some women are very prudish to say the least. Other people who have low self-esteem probably wouldn't want to be seen with a minger themselves because they would think of the looks they would get thinking "oh they must think we're an ugly couple".

I don't support lookism, I don't even like to rate people in numbers and I do like to see happy couples that are similar in looks, their joy brings me joy.

 

[Xander94]

Can we please turn back time for a few days?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Some regional phenotypes favor attractiveness on females while on other regions on males.

Which doesn't apply to southern Europe. There is no shortage of beautiful women in Portugal, Spain, Italy, and Greece.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It seems many of us have been disconnected from reality for a while.

I see the couple on my girlfriend Facebook and believe or not, I've seen some NW6's in their early 20's with decent-looking females that were not even fat.

My girlfriend sees nothing wrong with those couples, and I don't dare to comment otherwise I could be labelled as shallow and obsessive, and she would be right.

The views on this forum are quite unique and yes, extreme. It's easy to see that only a tiny portion of the population consciously focuses on looks and their importance.

I mean just look at the average person on the street, not only are they a mess when it comes to their appearance, but they don't even seem to be aware of it.

They just walk around with their gut, their messy NW4 and their XXL clothes and are like "what?! I'm beautiful!".

That said, baldness affects people's subconscious judgement about you, there's no denying that. It can be subtle and vary from person to person but in general, bald men will get less attention, less smiles from strangers (or people they know), less special treatment.

But to say that baldness prevents you from having a decent-looking partner (if baldness doesn't turn you into a monster), I disagree.

You're such adifferent person than you were a year ago. I think this new girlfriend is softening you up.

 

[Xander94]

You're such adifferent person than you were a year ago. I think this new girlfriend is softening you up.

Heh PUA bootcamp works!!

 

[Dante92]

Heh PUA bootcamp works!!

Lots of sex with an attractive girl works.

 

[Xander94]

Lots of sex with an attractive girls works.

Yep I just hope he doesnt forget his humble beginnings. I know I wouldn't

 

[Xander94]

He already has.