There's this cute girl but ...

[S&L]

So here's my problem .

I'm 23 , still got some hair but my hairline is quite f***ed up , I comb in a way that hides it , it looks good (except when there's freaking wind) , I don't think people suspect I have hairloss , they would probably be surprised if I told them .
I have to say I'm quite good looking ( with hair at least haha) but a little shy to begin with , there are some girls I know are interested in me but I don't know what to do anymore ...

So there's this girl at the gym of the university , very cute , amazing body , but younger than me , she's 18-19 and since my hair loss started I've pretty much lost all my confidence , I'm afraid she won't like it and will not understand , she's quite young after all , I wouldn't blame her .
But being rejected would be hard for me , I'm in a difficult situation generally speaking .

What do you think ? Am i just over thinking ? Being stupid ?
Do you have any experience on how "younger" girls react to hair loss ?

 

[Nashville Hairline]

I don't think people suspect I have hairloss , they would probably be surprised if I told them .

Well then she wont suspect either. Good luck.

 

[TheGrayMan2001]

man up and stop worrying about it. She likely won't even notice unless you bring it up, so don't mention it. And if she does, just laugh it off. If she doesn't like you its probably from acting insecure about the whole situation.

 

[elliotramsey]

You people are so damn cynical. No wonder why you people don't get any girls to like you. If you're even a quarter as cynical in person than on here then i can see why. With all these thoughts that women only like men with full heads of hair, and that if you don't have it ,"ohh you better do something because when she finds out she's gonna dump you".. do you hear yourselves? If women did what you seem to think they all do, then i think the population of this planet would be cut in half.

I see dozens and dozens of couples everyday where the guy has hairloss or even bald. Hell, my dad was balding when he met my mom, he's extremely bald now, but my mom doesn't give a sh*t.

I'm not saying there aren't girls who will blow off their boyfriends/husbands because of that, but a majority of them that do aren't worth the time of day, let alone night.

It pisses me off how you naysayers tell every single person who comes here that if they don't do something about their hairloss then their significant other will dump them because its not necessarily true. They might dump you, but its probably for reasons other than your hair.

 

[Ori83]

i know 2 hot girls that love bald men, one is 21 the other is 27 (the 21 years old fell for a 33 yo bald man after he told her she is hot.... )... if you never try youll never know so go at it.

 

[qball01]

sorry dudemon, but at the end of the day you have to separate YOUR experiences from that of all bald men. You're making it seem like even the best looking bald guy would get rejected by "most" women or that you just don't have a hope in hell when you lose your hair. While obviously there are some women who are very against guys with no hair I don't think its nearly as many girls as you think...provided the guy still looks good.

Which unfortunately points towards the sad truth that in your case, you are probably just a guy who is unattractive. You've said yourself you were an average looking guy at best with hair....well, now coupled with increasing age and the fact that you have a wispy balding hairstyle due to your botched hair transplant's (which by most girls standards is considered the least attractive hairstyle there is unfortunately) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...you likely just aren't seen as an attractive guy. With your overall appearance, in addition to what I'm suspecting are questionable social and flirting skills (by your own admission since you're never able to get past a platonic level you prbly are no longer the most skilled at wooing and flirting with girls) you likely come off as creepy to most women. The baldness just adds to everything, but it sounds like it definitely isn't your only problem.

The bottom line is, I'm not even trying to be rude...it sucks. I sympathize with you. You seem to be in an unfortunate situation regarding your hair and everything else. Botched hair transplant's have left you in a bad spot regarding your appearance. But thats your unique situation, its not some universal law. You can cite cases of guys you know or women whom you have heard make mean comments about bald guys or whatever...but at the end of the day the only thing you know is that YOUR ex wife left YOU because she found you unattractive and that other women have seemingly not found you attractive...you can really only speak for yourself. So stop trying to make it seem like all bald guys are doomed in an effort to take away some of the sting of YOUR situation.

 

[uncomfortable man]

To S&L, just go for it. If you really lost your hair later down the road then you'd be kicking yourself for not taking advantage of the situation when you had hair.... because it gets alot harder to attract women once your bald.

 

[SmileBam]

So here's my problem .

I'm 23 , still got some hair but my hairline is quite f***ed up , I comb in a way that hides it , it looks good (except when there's freaking wind) , I don't think people suspect I have hairloss , they would probably be surprised if I told them .
I have to say I'm quite good looking ( with hair at least haha) but a little shy to begin with , there are some girls I know are interested in me but I don't know what to do anymore ...

So there's this girl at the gym of the university , very cute , amazing body , but younger than me , she's 18-19 and since my hair loss started I've pretty much lost all my confidence , I'm afraid she won't like it and will not understand , she's quite young after all , I wouldn't blame her .
But being rejected would be hard for me , I'm in a difficult situation generally speaking .

What do you think ? Am i just over thinking ? Being stupid ?
Do you have any experience on how "younger" girls react to hair loss ?

It really depends on how her personality and character is.If you can figure it out what type of person is,it'll be great.I am going with gang here and say:be a man!She's only a girl,not a supernatural creature.Rock the jam baby.

 

[Oknow]

So here's my problem .

I'm 23 , still got some hair but my hairline is quite f***ed up , I comb in a way that hides it , it looks good (except when there's freaking wind) , I don't think people suspect I have hairloss , they would probably be surprised if I told them .
I have to say I'm quite good looking ( with hair at least haha) but a little shy to begin with , there are some girls I know are interested in me but I don't know what to do anymore ...

So there's this girl at the gym of the university , very cute , amazing body , but younger than me , she's 18-19 and since my hair loss started I've pretty much lost all my confidence , I'm afraid she won't like it and will not understand , she's quite young after all , I wouldn't blame her .
But being rejected would be hard for me , I'm in a difficult situation generally speaking .

What do you think ? Am i just over thinking ? Being stupid ?
Do you have any experience on how "younger" girls react to hair loss ?

I am 25, and a NW2.

Like you I can hide it when styling my hair to some degree, but there is a prominent V, so the front of my hair looks chewed up a bit.

I have a hot girlfriend at the moment, she always says I have "lovely hair", and always compliments it....

...so probably your hair is not the big issue for you. Your problem is mental. Girls probably dont care/notice your receeding hairline. At least that is the case for me...only a few have pointed out the V hairline, even then, for the most part my hair gets complimented, with the ones who do point my hairline out tell me I am attractive anyway.

Work on your charm.

 

[Oknow]

sorry dudemon, but at the end of the day you have to separate YOUR experiences from that of all bald men. You're making it seem like even the best looking bald guy would get rejected by "most" women or that you just don't have a hope in hell when you lose your hair. While obviously there are some women who are very against guys with no hair I don't think its nearly as many girls as you think...provided the guy still looks good.

Which unfortunately points towards the sad truth that in your case, you are probably just a guy who is unattractive. You've said yourself you were an average looking guy at best with hair....well, now coupled with increasing age and the fact that you have a wispy balding hairstyle due to your botched hair transplant's (which by most girls standards is considered the least attractive hairstyle there is unfortunately) I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...you likely just aren't seen as an attractive guy. With your overall appearance, in addition to what I'm suspecting are questionable social and flirting skills (by your own admission since you're never able to get past a platonic level you prbly are no longer the most skilled at wooing and flirting with girls) you likely come off as creepy to most women. The baldness just adds to everything, but it sounds like it definitely isn't your only problem.

The bottom line is, I'm not even trying to be rude...it sucks. I sympathize with you. You seem to be in an unfortunate situation regarding your hair and everything else. Botched hair transplant's have left you in a bad spot regarding your appearance. But thats your unique situation, its not some universal law. You can cite cases of guys you know or women whom you have heard make mean comments about bald guys or whatever...but at the end of the day the only thing you know is that YOUR ex wife left YOU because she found you unattractive and that other women have seemingly not found you attractive...you can really only speak for yourself. So stop trying to make it seem like all bald guys are doomed in an effort to take away some of the sting of YOUR situation.

Hey man, I'm telling you that, at least in the area I live in, the vast majority of women are how I decribe. I have personally seen a lot of handsome (by women's standards) big body builder guys, and head-shaver guys get rejected something aweful by beautiful women in the gym; while wimpy average looking (NW0) guys, with no 'charm' at all about themself, pick up on the same chicks. I have also seen this in bars and clubs. I know guys in the gym who shave their heads and are huge, who pull the bald look off well, and they would pretty much agree with what I have said in my previous post.

You are correct, I am not a very good looking guy by most women's standards, and I look even worse now after my hair transplants. So it's true my situation is not the same as most 'normal' bald guys. But there are a lot of bald guys in roughly the same situation as me, especially after they went bald and don't look very good bald. Even some handsome guys by women's standards, who don't rock the bald look well, unfortunately wind up in situations like me eventually - especially where I live. Maybe not quite as bad off as me, but not too far from it either.

But I guess it really takes a special girl that will tolerate normal bald guys without expecting them to be like the "movie star" bald guys, or the deal is off. Those are in the minority at least in the area I live in. These women are always taken, and when you do find one available ... you're gonna have to stand in line, and good luck because you're gonna need it! :mrgreen:

BTW, I live near the "Entertainment capital of the world" aka "LA" and I can tell you that most of the women here are "plastic fantastic" and phonier than a $3 bill. Plastic surgery, liposuction, "image" ...ect... and all that goes with it are a way of life here. The overwhelming majority of women here are shallow and very self-centered, especially the younger ones.

Here, the word "superfical" is an understatement!

However, it has been this way for a long, long time here. In my generation, when I was in my late teens and twenties (20 years ago), things were not that much different. So, I suppose that geographic location plays a major role in the difference of how things are where you live vs. where I live. This in turn plays a big role in how we bald guys are treated and perceived in the societies we live in.

Again, the best thing you can do is accept the things you cannot change and try to make the best of it.

For dudemon:

I have a good set of hair, not PERFECT. But its nice and thick.
Recently I was out clubbing, I had approached about 30 girls for fun; yes many were receptive towards me, but I had many many blow outs. Like there was this one girl I wanted to dance with, she told me "no", then ended up dancing with a big bald black guy. By your logic that shouldn't have happened.

And if I look back at that night, some of my actual lines were sh*t. My bodylanguage at times was not great either...I was stiff and not being fun. Girls can sense this sh*t.

There is a lot more to it then the way you look. For example: the same night, I was told by 3 girls that I look like Ross from friends, yet I got 0 numbers.

Truely confident guys, they don't give a sh*t if they get rejected, they just try anyway, and keep on trying. That's how I got my girlfriend, who blew me off the first time I met her. After asking her what she was attracted by, she said my self confidence with her, how I can understand her mentally, and connect with her emotionally.

 

[follicle84]

You sound very much like a younger me. Let me tell you this from experience no one will notice your hairline more than yourself. Ask this girl out and even if she notices your hairline she will probably just think its a normal mans hairline. A girl said those exact words to me when i was 23 and first shaved my head and explained why. For the record i too had a v hairline.

 

[Oknow]

You sound very much like a younger me. Let me tell you this from experience no will notice your hairline more than yourself. Ask this girl out and even if she notices your hairline she will probably just think its a normal mans hairline. A girl said those exact words to me when i was 23 and first shaved my head and explained why. For the record i too had a v hairline.

How old are you now and when did your hairline become a V?

What Norwood are you now?

 

[follicle84]

Im twenty six. Hairline is very crooked and v shaped and still receding. Thats not what bothers me though. My hair is thinning pretty quickly. The change in hair density means i cant do anything with my hair apart from grow it forward. use concealer or shave it. Im at least a norwood 2.5 v diffuse.

 

[follicle84]

My hairline has been v shaped since i was 22.

 

[Oknow]

Im twenty six. Hairline is very crooked and v shaped and still receding. Thats not what bothers me though. My hair is thinning pretty quickly. The change in hair density means i cant do anything with my hair apart from grow it forward. use concealer or shave it. Im at least a norwood 2.5 v diffuse.

Did that just happen overnight?

BTW how did the treatments work out for you?

 

[follicle84]

No i had perfectly straight hairline once. I'll have to put some pictures up to illustrate the difference between now and then. My right temple started to recede when i was 18 and by age 20 i had a slanted hairline which i noticed after a haircut one day. That was when i started worrying about going bald. By age 21 my left temple started to recede and by 22 it was pretty even recession on both temples. I have a v shaped hairline because my front hairline is still were it was before i was 18. By 23 my crown started to thin a little. By 24 my hair started thinning on top its pretty much still continuing to thin. As for my hairline however very little has changed. I've probably lost quater of an inch in 3 years. My hairloss on the crown has slowed too.

 

[BornIn89]

For dudemon:

I have a good set of hair, not PERFECT. But its nice and thick.
Recently I was out clubbing, I had approached about 30 girls for fun; yes many were receptive towards me, but I had many many blow outs. Like there was this one girl I wanted to dance with, she told me "no", then ended up dancing with a big bald black guy. By your logic that shouldn't have happened.

That's precisely why it happened. The words "big" + "black" say it all. She wanted a big (I'm assuming buffed) black dude. Why?

Typically, "big + buffed + black dude" = big c*ck.

The hair is not important to her; whereas, big muscles, big c*ck, and the fact that the guy is black is a turn-on for that particular girl. To her, this guy is not ugly.

Now, I'll bet the guy has also spent a HUGE amount of time in the gym!

Other girls, who aren't looking for the "big unit" sterotype in a guy (ie - "big + buffed + black") are more interested in average or better looking guys upon first glance to even be considered. Once they determine you are "worthy" (appearance-wise) then they will allow you to try to get to the "exchange email/phone/contact info" stage. (Or even let you take them somewhere "private" .. :hump: ..)

Truely confident guys, they don't give a sh*t if they get rejected, they just try anyway, and keep on trying... .

See, that's the difference in the geographic/demographic area where I live vs. where you live.

Around here, if the guy doesn't look so good, it wouldn't matter how confident they are; because, upon first glance, most women will not even give them a chance to show how "confident" they are. (They will literally sit there and ignore the guy COMPLETELY, as if he wasn't even there. I know so, becuase this has been done to me many times!). Not even the time of day! A guy like that who doesn't look all that good, and continues to try to pick up on girls, will make a spectacle out of themselves, be laughed at -- or worse, picked on and made fun of (which, in turn, could lead to physical altercations). That guy will never be taken seriously.

Basically what it comes down to is this:
"You have to look the part to be able to play the part."

If you try to act like something other that what you are perceived to be, then you are generally not taken seriously. You will not get respect, and you will be a joke. This translates into: "You are trying to be someone you're not."

Ever watch "American Idol"? Notice how all the performers have to "look good" as well as sing good? You can extend that same mindset to certain geographic/demographic areas in general societies, such as mine.

To be honest I think you have serious issues and very warped views about life.

 

[s.a.f]

The Oracle has spoken :whistle:

 

[kejan]

It could be that you live in LA, but I've seen ugly guys who have Norwood 3-4s with some decent and even attractive looking Women. One of my friends is a Norwood 3 with strawberry blonde/ginger hair. He is very tall, skinny face, freckles and his nick name at school was 'Luke Chadwick' just need to google him to see. One of my friends even calls him "Good looking from the neck down" as harsh as that sounds.

He never has any problems with the Women. His hair is now thinning as well as Norwood 3, he keeps it fairly short but he is in good shape. He plays soccer and is tall.
He reguarly meets Women but he's outgoing. He sells cars for a living so he needs that. He has 100% confidence not arrogance and it gets the Women. He does indeed get shot down by some but he shrugs it off and basically says 'next'.

He's a fun, confident guy who takes the mick out of himself as well as others, and reguarly is called 'Baldie', 'Baldielocks' or even 'The Eagle' as in the Bald Eagle. He doesn't give a sh*t. He takes it and moves on and keeps going.

As a hetreosexual man, I can see he has a 'Barra-Bing' about him. People want to be in his company, he knows how to talk to people, laugh, joke but also be serious when needed.

Maybe you've had a few harsh experiences, dudemon and I'm not the best at getting rejected. I've had a girlfriend for 5 years but before that I used to take it really badly if I was dumped or a girl wasn't interested. Not saying you need to read those Pickup (bollocks) books but even take a few confidence books from the library or even local college courses, I'm sure it can do wonders.
I have been reading "How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes not for seeking a Woman as I have one but for my work life and it has helped my confidence a lot.

Saying all that, Women will not like bald men, some Women will not be attracted to them just like some Men aren't attracted to bobbed hair on girls, or short men or what not.
It's maybe harder in LA because of the films and the media with the plastic tits and I have been to LA in December and I did notice that nearly everyone under 30 is pretty decent looking, but maybe you should try heading out to Palo Alto, Fresno or somewhere to try find someone..

All the best.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Listen to the dude. He knows what he is talking about..... but it came at a very big price.