Unclever and attractive vs genius and unattractive

[GeminiX]

The thing which I can't seem to get my head around in some of the depressing posts is the way some members seem to "cheer on" each depressing point made by someone else. It's like some guys *want* to be miserable because they are so comfortable with it and when other people post points they agree with it somehow vindicates their misery.

Almost makes me want to learn more about psychology. You know the saying though, "misery loves company"

 

[s.a.f]

Their just being realistic and when someone posts a comment that rings true to them it makes them feel assured that its not just them.
Far better than just having someone reply "hey come on guys forget about it hair does'nt really matter".

People are just venting thats all, just because someone comes on here and posts a depressing post about their inner feelings on losing their hair, does'nt mean that they spend all day moping around depressed about it.

Many guys have to put it to the back of their mind and put on a cheery persona throughout the day, so they have every right to let off some frustrations when they come on here.

I dont say its the end of the world but when someone else comes on here and says that certain aspects of it get him down and I feel the same I'm going to back up his particular point of view.

We're just being realistic, we all suffer from it or we would'nt be here so we might aswell admit it. Nobody wants to be miserable but denying your true feelings does'nt work either, when some guy says he looks worse because of his hairloss I'm not going to give him a moral boosting pep talk and expect him to change his mind - thats just like putting a band aid over a severed limb.

 

[s.a.f]

Remember Kurt Cobain

Rich, Attractive, a hair style that made rock history.
The guy just did whatever he liked, didn't cared about how he looked, how he wrote songs. He became one those few individuals in music history along with Tupac and The Beatles that became saints during their lifetime and is considered a sin to criticize. Yet the guy decided to blow his head off

I agree with Gemini, the grass always looks greener on the other side

I must admit I have sometimes wondered what would had been of him if he was born ugly and went bald like Novoselic :woot:

Cobain looked like a scruffy street junkie he was not attractive to anyone other than skanky rock groupies like Courtney Love.
The guy was fucked up on heroin and the pressure of being made into a superstar by his musical success thats why he blew his head off. I dont see what this has to do with the subject we were discussing.

 

[Aco_KK]

Yeah but you make it sound like the mirror literally breaks when you look at yourself in the mirror.

What about a hair system for you saf? Don't slate me for it, it's just a suggestion. They're pretty much undetectable...the only poeple that can actually pick the system wearers out, is a person on hair loss forums :thumbdown2:
That's if you can afford it.

As I said, I'm good looking-ish (i think) and i still get hardly any attention from women (well girls, i'm 19) NONE ! Maybe it's my bad posture from my flatfeet, (i have a slight hump back )

The problem with the depressing posts is that, if a young guy comes here for the first time, reads these posts coupled with dudemon, the guy thats held captive in a hat and UC man they'll be scared and sh*t their pants ! regardless of what f*****g norwood they are.

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah but you make it sound like the mirror literally breaks when you look at yourself in the mirror.

No like I said before I think I look average/ok but I would feel so much better about myself if I did'nt have to deal with this. I'm 36 yrs old and I started as a teen and was bald in my mid 20's. Yes it has had a massive effect on my social life and the way I feel about myself. Its not the end of the world but nobody like to see themselves take a big hit in the looks department.

What about a hair system for you saf? Don't slate me for it, it's just a suggestion. They're pretty much undetectable...the only poeple that can actually pick the system wearers out, is a person on hair loss forums :thumbdown2:
That's if you can afford it.

I've been bald and had hair transplant's now I'm using that and concealers to try and give myself the best appearance. But Nobody knows this to the world I'm just a balding guy with weird looking hair. The thing with wigs is if you want to start wearing then you have to do it when there's virtually no loss at all, you cant go from obviously balding to full head of hair overnight. Of all the options wigs have the worst stigma attached to them.

As I said, I'm good looking-ish (i think) and i still get hardly any attention from women (well girls, i'm 19) NONE ! Maybe it's my bad posture from my flatfeet, (i have a slight hump back )

The problem with the depressing posts is that, if a young guy comes here for the first time, reads these posts coupled with dudemon, the guy thats held captive in a hat and UC man they'll be scared and sh*t their pants ! regardless of what f****ing norwood they are.

Any guy coming on here in the first place is already freaking out about it. But I think they know that not everyone feels the same as some guys on here. 99% of balding guys dont join internet forums or use treatments.

This is the IMPACT of hairloss section! - What do you expect positive comments by people happy to be losing their hair? The impact of hairloss is a negative one! I went through hairloss to total baldness on my own back in the 90's - 00's, I wish I'd had some fellow suffers to confide in about this, venting is good even if those you vent to cant give you the answers you need, its good to have some outlet of release.

 

[superfrankie]

Their just being realistic and when someone posts a comment that rings true to them it makes them feel assured that its not just them.
Far better than just having someone reply "hey come on guys forget about it hair does'nt really matter".

People are just venting thats all, just because someone comes on here and posts a depressing post about their inner feelings on losing their hair, does'nt mean that they spend all day moping around depressed about it.

Many guys have to put it to the back of their mind and put on a cheery persona throughout the day, so they have every right to let off some frustrations when they come on here.

:bravo:

 

[Nene]

Their just being realistic and when someone posts a comment that rings true to them it makes them feel assured that its not just them.
Far better than just having someone reply "hey come on guys forget about it hair does'nt really matter".

People are just venting thats all, just because someone comes on here and posts a depressing post about their inner feelings on losing their hair, does'nt mean that they spend all day moping around depressed about it.

Many guys have to put it to the back of their mind and put on a cheery persona throughout the day, so they have every right to let off some frustrations when they come on here.

I dont say its the end of the world but when someone else comes on here and says that certain aspects of it get him down and I feel the same I'm going to back up his particular point of view.

We're just being realistic, we all suffer from it or we would'nt be here so we might aswell admit it. Nobody wants to be miserable but denying your true feelings does'nt work either, when some guy says he looks worse because of his hairloss I'm not going to give him a moral boosting pep talk and expect him to change his mind - thats just like putting a band aid over a severed limb.

I don't think anyone is saying "forget about it hair doesn't really matter." Of course it matters and it bothers all of us to lose it. I've never convinced myself of the BS that you can just shave your head, work out and be a stud like Jason Statham. I realize I'm less attractive with less hair as the vast majority of us are. To think otherwise would be delusional. I think the problem with the negative people is that they say, "I'm bald so now I have to hate life and myself till I die." Instead of thinking that way and encouraging others to think that way, I decided to say, "I'm balding, I hate it, but I'll try to find other things in life to make it worthwhile."

 

[Obsidian]

The thing which I can't seem to get my head around in some of the depressing posts is the way some members seem to "cheer on" each depressing point made by someone else. It's like some guys *want* to be miserable because they are so comfortable with it and when other people post points they agree with it somehow vindicates their misery.

Almost makes me want to learn more about psychology. You know the saying though, "misery loves company"

It's just misery loves company, I know from first fact since I could be miserable at times and when someone is happy you are reacting out of two ways 1. Somehow you think in your (my) mind they are mocking you (me) 2. You are just jealous.

It reminds me a lot of the lone survivor of zombie attack.

 

[superfrankie]

btw, i've found that most girls either unclever and attractive, or smart and unattractive...

Ive noticed this aswell. Generally, the more good looking the girl is the duller her personality is.

 

[Aco_KK]

I really dont understand how this works :dunno:

 

[Primo]

It's simple really. Good looking girls have no reason to develop conversational skills or a personality because they know very well that men will always approach them first.

Therefore for a man to attract these unintelligent, good looking females, first and foremost he needs GAME! Without any game doesn't matter if the guy is a stunning NW1, he'll still come across as clumsy and insecure to many females.

This is why often you see really good looking girls going out with average looking guys and visa versa. Personality and looks often complement each other on either sides of the relationship.

 

[s.a.f]

It's simple really. Good looking girls have no reason to develop conversational skills or a personality because they know very well that men will always approach them first.

Therefore for a man to attract these unintelligent, good looking females, first and foremost he needs GAME! Without any game doesn't matter if the guy is a stunning NW1, he'll still come across as clumsy and insecure to many females.

This is why often you see really good looking girls going out with average looking guys and visa versa. Personality and looks often complement each other on either sides of the relationship.

Not really you could just aswell argue (and in my experience this is what I've seen) that goodlooking people because they naturally attract others to them (and therefore have much more social interaction) have better developed confidence and therefore often possess excellent social skills. Whilst the unnatractive people are more shy and insecure therefore often less outgoing and socialy inadequate.

 

[Ori83]

I'm pretty sure there's a HUGE gap in the ratio between men and women who considered to be hot... there a saying here: "10% of all men f**k 90% of all women" even tho plenty of women will argue against it, i believe that every women experienced at least once in her life-time, A one night stand! and trust me - she wasn't looking for brains/skill/talent/(or even) money, thus forcing her into the "90% statistic"....after she "checked", she can get on her high horse and look for a meaningful relationship, and most women are smart enough to pick the less attractive men who will value them much more and will provide with some sort of security (either emotional, economical or some other crap women need) so the guys who were pushed to the end of the line during their 20s are now being bend over in their 30s for girls who didnt give them the time of the day, just before their looks fades away (therefore the birth of the "biological tick").

so in today's society, if you value sex, and enjoy the attention and company of astonishing Felines at your feet, im afraid that brains alone is not enough to get you those perks, we (most of us - unlike GeminiX {and im not being cynical... just in case!}) havent evolved yet to choose our mates strictly on mental attraction/emotional connection, tho we sure like to think so, and as primitive as it is, my brain will lead me to the arms of a good looking fem with and an iq of a potato over an unattractive girl who i can have a good conversation with... sorry :dunno:
i know i may come across bitter, but im far from it, im just being realistic based on what i've seen and experienced over the years, and im not sad about it either, its just what it is, maybe decades from now things will change, but since we're not there yet, id rather be Tyler Durden then Jack the cancer patient ...:hump:

 

[superfrankie]

You could just aswell argue (and in my experience this is what I've seen) that goodlooking people because they naturally attract others to them (and therefore have much more social interaction) have better developed confidence and therefore often possess excellent social skills. Whilst the unnatractive people are more shy and insecure therefore often less outgoing and socialy inadequate.

Fully agree s.a.f! There is a strong connection between people who are confidence and outgoing and people who are considered to be good looking by the opposite sex. Every male or female I know who are confident and outgoing are the ones who get free attention from others just because they happen to look good. Its not strange that those people are very social. Ive never come across one single individual so far who`s got huge amounts of confidence, that is very unattractive physically.

 

[superfrankie]

so in today's society, if you value sex, and enjoy the attention and company of astonishing Felines at your feet, im afraid that brains alone is not enough to get you those perks,

If you want them to truly feel attraction for you, you must have some kind of physical attribut that makes them want to be around you from the very beginning. Or else, other things such as great personality and so on, does not mean a sh*t. There must be something on the shallow level that attracts them.

Im happy Im a guy though, since this is much more obvious with guys. This is how we work.

 

[person]

I agree with the majority of points. You need to first attract the girl with your physical looks. Then they will fall in love with you and still have a connection with you even if you are losing your hair. My advice is to look your very best as young as you can. Time is short.

 

[bigentries]

Well I was saying that it might be a cultural thing, but this sounds like a bunch of teenage nerds complaining about how they will never attract hot girls.

I knew about a girl that was friends with one of the guys I hanged out at college that was dating a gang member, believe me the guy was not "cute", was not "rich", hell, his "gang" was very lame, and the girl had a rich family, cute and I don't think it was any sort of rebellious attitude.

I have lived in some of the poorest places in America and not so rich at the south, and I have met so many odd couples where the guy was as ugly as a frog and probably living on welfare while the girl could have made it way better that I have a hard time believing all the crap I'm reading here

 

[s.a.f]

I'm pretty sure there's a HUGE gap in the ratio between men and women who considered to be hot... there a saying here: "10% of all men f**k 90% of all women" even tho plenty of women will argue against it, i believe that every women experienced at least once in her life-time, A one night stand! and trust me - she wasn't looking for brains/skill/talent/(or even) money, thus forcing her into the "90% statistic"....after she "checked", she can get on her high horse and look for a meaningful relationship, and most women are smart enough to pick the less attractive men who will value them much more and will provide with some sort of security (either emotional, economical or some other crap women need) so the guys who were pushed to the end of the line during their 20s are now being bend over in their 30s for girls who didnt give them the time of the day, just before their looks fades away (therefore the birth of the "biological tick").

so in today's society, if you value sex, and enjoy the attention and company of astonishing Felines at your feet, im afraid that brains alone is not enough to get you those perks, we (most of us - unlike GeminiX {and im not being cynical... just in case!}) havent evolved yet to choose our mates strictly on mental attraction/emotional connection, tho we sure like to think so, and as primitive as it is, my brain will lead me to the arms of a good looking fem with and an iq of a potato over an unattractive girl who i can have a good conversation with... sorry :dunno:
i know i may come across bitter, but im far from it, im just being realistic based on what i've seen and experienced over the years, and im not sad about it either, its just what it is, maybe decades from now things will change, but since we're not there yet, id rather be Tyler Durden then Jack the cancer patient ...:hump:

It wont be in a few decades either, maybe a few millenia, the fact is this is something that evolution has hardwired into our subconcious over 100,000's of years. We are all programmed to try and mate with the most geneticly gifted partner we can get. This is the first stage of attraction. Its not the be all and end all but figurativley speaking good looking people get to jump the queue.

 

[superfrankie]

It wont be in a few decades either, maybe a few millenia, the fact is this is something that evolution has hardwired into our subconcious over 100,000's of years.

And it shows no sign of changing. In fact, it will only get worse. In the near future we will have the chance to genetically modify humans so our future babies can have the attributes we want them to have. In 150-200 years time every old man will be a natural NW1 with dark hair. Just like Hollywood wants. LOL.

 

[s.a.f]

And it shows no sign of changing. In fact, it will only get worse. In the near future we will have the chance to genetically modify humans so our future babies can have the attributes we want them to have. In 150-200 years time every old man will be a natural NW1 with dark hair. Just like Hollywood wants. LOL.

TBH I think that in the near future mankind is going to be facing some problems that will make what we look like seem pretty insignificant. If we're still here in 150 - 200 yrs time.