What do I tell him?

[chipmunkcheeksx0x0]

My boyfriend has been losing his hair for about a year. We are using the shampoo and Propecia but that hasn't worked. He lost all hope and wants to just shave it off. With he way he talks about the importance of having a head of hair, I know he's going to regret that so everyday I have to convince him not to and just wait. I don't mind reassuring him everyday but I hate seeing him so miserable. He's only 24 so that definitely bothers him the most. You can't tell it's thin unless you are looking at the top of his head. So I asked him to bend down and show me and he said "No, I don't want you to see it because you will be so turned off you'll probably leave me." Wow! This broke my heart to see him so unhappy. He's never been the insecure type. LOL, this isn't the Dr. Phil forums but I love him so much and find him so attractive that his hair couldn't even begin to turn me off if it tried. When I tell him that nothing is wrong with his hair he says stop lying to him but I feel like if I acknowledge his hair is thinning then it will make him feel even worse. Ahhh I really don't know so I'm going to stop rambling. Guys what would you want your partner to do or say?

 

[Cassin]

Propecia takes a long time to start working...how long did you try it?

 

[ali777]

Guys what would you want your partner to do or say?

Probably nothing.... Imagine you have a few extra pounds around the hips and you keep going on about how ugly you look and you just want your bf to give you a bit of reassurance that his love is unconditional. Now, whatever your bf says, he's doomed to fail. If he says he will love you no matter what, you will not believe him. If he says, something along the lines of "Don't worry about it, a few sessions in the gym should do it", you would get annoyed that he's being insensitive. That's what insecurity does to people, we lose sight of reality and we think life is all dark. The question is, how do you get to someone with insecurities?

The only solution is for your bf to accept his hairloss and move on with his life. We talk about it in this forum all the time. He needs to realise that a bit of thinning in the 20s is very normal. Lots of men go through the same, and we don't take it very well.

Sorry, I'm not giving you anything to hold onto. I'm just saying your bf needs to accept it. Hairloss is such that it gets worse over the years, if he doesn't get rid off that negative mentality, he might get even more conscious of it in the future.

I really don't know what the solution is. We are all different individuals. I suppose your reassurances would help him know that he's not alone and that he can always rely on you.

24 is a young age. He's still maturing. You can only hope that he matures soon and realises that life is not all about hair. It's a bit like a woman accepting that she has to live the rest of her life with a few pounds of fat around her hips. There is no way around it.

Good luck!!!

 

[kalbo]

You seem like you genuinely care for your boyfriend and aren't bothered by his hair loss, so all I would suggest is to be honest. It's that simple.

If you really don't notice any thinning then just look him straight in the eye and tell him that. If he's still feeling down, then let him know that even without the hair he's still a very sexy man. Seriously, don't worry about hurting his feelings. If you genuinely don't care about his hair loss, then you have nothing to worry about and his feelings won't get hurt. Just look him straight in the eye and tell him how you feel because if you start looking a bit nervous and hesitant, he'll assume you're trying to hide your true feelings. You may also want to throw in how hair really doesn't matter much to women. Confidence, sense of humor, physical fitness, intelligence, etc. is what really turns women on.

May I also suggest something else? Yes? okay... if he wants to shave his head then just let him. The fact that you're convincing him not to will lead him to believe that you actually do care whether he has hair or not. So next time he says he wants to shave his head, just tell to go right ahead. Chances are, he'll either get scared and not shave his head, or it will only be temporary so don't worry too much (then again you shouldn't be worrying should you?). But if he does go through with it, it's important that you tell him he looks sexy, and you better mean it too! Remember, he could also want to shave his head to see if you'd treat him any differently.

Good luck!!

 

[AssignmentZero]

My boyfriend has been losing his hair for about a year. We are using the shampoo and Propecia but that hasn't worked. He lost all hope and wants to just shave it off. With he way he talks about the importance of having a head of hair, I know he's going to regret that so everyday I have to convince him not to and just wait. I don't mind reassuring him everyday but I hate seeing him so miserable. He's only 24 so that definitely bothers him the most. You can't tell it's thin unless you are looking at the top of his head. So I asked him to bend down and show me and he said "No, I don't want you to see it because you will be so turned off you'll probably leave me." Wow! This broke my heart to see him so unhappy. He's never been the insecure type. LOL, this isn't the Dr. Phil forums but I love him so much and find him so attractive that his hair couldn't even begin to turn me off if it tried. When I tell him that nothing is wrong with his hair he says stop lying to him but I feel like if I acknowledge his hair is thinning then it will make him feel even worse. Ahhh I really don't know so I'm going to stop rambling. Guys what would you want your partner to do or say?

Show him this website and that post ^^^^^^ and he won't doubt you again. Guarateed. (well, not guaranteed but "works 60% of the time, every time" sorta deal).

 

[CCS]

Every time I see a post like this I think SAF got a new email address and gourmetstylewellness.com account and is trying to post stuff like this from women prove his point.

However, I do know many women who've said some dumb stuff about their looks when I did not even care, so it is possible.

When the women complained that they looked ugly, I think it was because they were not getting the kind of worship they wanted, and thought they did not look good enough for that reason. Sex was not enough. They wanted princess treatment. Look at how you treat your guy: guys are easier in that sex is enough. Look at how often you sleep with him and how into it you are. If you are not as into sex and romance as he is, or if he feels he ranks lower in the relationship based on you controlling stuff, then that could explain why he feels ugly. Next time he says he looks bad, don't tell him he looks good; show him with actions. But you don't want to leave him feeling that you can kiss him when you want, but he can't when he wants. Make sure you are interested when he tries to make a move, or tell him you want him to more often.

It is entirely possible you are unattracted to him, at least compared to how he feels about you, and dispite you not wanting to leave him, he can sense that you don't feel the same way just from what you don't say or don't do.

 

[KANGA]

My boyfriend has been losing his hair for about a year. We are using the shampoo and Propecia but that hasn't worked. He lost all hope and wants to just shave it off. With he way he talks about the importance of having a head of hair, I know he's going to regret that so everyday I have to convince him not to and just wait. I don't mind reassuring him everyday but I hate seeing him so miserable. He's only 24 so that definitely bothers him the most. You can't tell it's thin unless you are looking at the top of his head. So I asked him to bend down and show me and he said "No, I don't want you to see it because you will be so turned off you'll probably leave me." Wow! This broke my heart to see him so unhappy. He's never been the insecure type. LOL, this isn't the Dr. Phil forums but I love him so much and find him so attractive that his hair couldn't even begin to turn me off if it tried. When I tell him that nothing is wrong with his hair he says stop lying to him but I feel like if I acknowledge his hair is thinning then it will make him feel even worse. Ahhh I really don't know so I'm going to stop rambling. Guys what would you want your partner to do or say?

Show him this website and that post ^^^^^^ and he won't doubt you again. Guarateed. (well, not guaranteed but "works 60% of the time, every time" sorta deal).

+1 mate, she sounds like a keeper!!!

 

[Mens Rea]

Every time I see a post like this I think SAF got a new email address and gourmetstylewellness.com account and is trying to post stuff like this from women prove his point.

However, I do know many women who've said some dumb stuff about their looks when I did not even care, so it is possible.

When the women complained that they looked ugly, I think it was because they were not getting the kind of worship they wanted, and thought they did not look good enough for that reason. Sex was not enough. They wanted princess treatment. Look at how you treat your guy: guys are easier in that sex is enough. Look at how often you sleep with him and how into it you are. If you are not as into sex and romance as he is, or if he feels he ranks lower in the relationship based on you controlling stuff, then that could explain why he feels ugly. Next time he says he looks bad, don't tell him he looks good; show him with actions. But you don't want to leave him feeling that you can kiss him when you want, but he can't when he wants. Make sure you are interested when he tries to make a move, or tell him you want him to more often.

It is entirely possible you are unattracted to him, at least compared to how he feels about you, and dispite you not wanting to leave him, he can sense that you don't feel the same way just from what you don't say or don't do.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Every time I see a post like this I think SAF got a new email address and gourmetstylewellness.com account and is trying to post stuff like this from women prove his point.

However, I do know many women who've said some dumb stuff about their looks when I did not even care, so it is possible.

When the women complained that they looked ugly, I think it was because they were not getting the kind of worship they wanted, and thought they did not look good enough for that reason. Sex was not enough. They wanted princess treatment. Look at how you treat your guy: guys are easier in that sex is enough. Look at how often you sleep with him and how into it you are. If you are not as into sex and romance as he is, or if he feels he ranks lower in the relationship based on you controlling stuff, then that could explain why he feels ugly. Next time he says he looks bad, don't tell him he looks good; show him with actions. But you don't want to leave him feeling that you can kiss him when you want, but he can't when he wants. Make sure you are interested when he tries to make a move, or tell him you want him to more often.

It is entirely possible you are unattracted to him, at least compared to how he feels about you, and dispite you not wanting to leave him, he can sense that you don't feel the same way just from what you don't say or don't do.

Dude, are you sure you are not joking around? You really can't be this idiotic lol.

 

[Avery]

I am officially convinced CCS is screwing with us.

 

[KANGA]

So essentially CCS is saying having sex will alleviate worries about our hair loss.

Wow. I'd love to live in his fantasy world.

 

[ali777]

Shall we make an effort to keep this thread clean for once :whistle: ??

The lady is asking for help. No need to talk about CCS and his problems. The thread is about someone else.

Do not reply to my post, and do not make more comments about CCS in this thread :innocent: !!!!!

 

[decro435]

I'm glad there girl cares ,because generally a lot of women don't realise what this does to a man. Fair play.

 

[ClayShaw]

I am officially convinced CCS is screwing with us.

I agree.
But if he's not, can you imagine how much fun it would be to see him in random social situations?!?! Especially if he was a little drunk...

 

[s.a.f]

Every time I see a post like this I think SAF got a new email address and gourmetstylewellness.com account and is trying to post stuff like this from women prove his point.

However, I do know many women who've said some dumb stuff about their looks when I did not even care, so it is possible.

When the women complained that they looked ugly, I think it was because they were not getting the kind of worship they wanted, and thought they did not look good enough for that reason. Sex was not enough. They wanted princess treatment. Look at how you treat your guy: guys are easier in that sex is enough. Look at how often you sleep with him and how into it you are. If you are not as into sex and romance as he is, or if he feels he ranks lower in the relationship based on you controlling stuff, then that could explain why he feels ugly. Next time he says he looks bad, don't tell him he looks good; show him with actions. But you don't want to leave him feeling that you can kiss him when you want, but he can't when he wants. Make sure you are interested when he tries to make a move, or tell him you want him to more often.

It is entirely possible you are unattracted to him, at least compared to how he feels about you, and dispite you not wanting to leave him, he can sense that you don't feel the same way just from what you don't say or don't do.

I dont know about you guys but I believe CCS knows women better than this .....er woman. :roll:

 

[Cassin]

for the record s.a.f has no duplicate accounts...I just ran his IP.

 

[follicle84]

Being the same age as your boyfriend with the same problem at one point i might be able to help you out. No matter what you say it wont change how much he feels about his hair. He has to find away round this negativity himself. Only he can do this. One thing i will mention is dont do anything that would make him suspect your going off him just carry on being the same loving person you are towards him thats all you can really do really. My girlfriend use to say to me everytime i'd moan i dont see the problem. I didnt believe her and told her i was going to shave my head and she told me not too. This made me extremelly paranoid and i'd jump to conclusions and say i know you wont fancy me bald and she told me not to be stupid. I shaved my hair when she was out as a test. She came back and looked shocked and wasnt acting the same around me. This really made me feel depressed. Luckilly i got mostly good comments from people in work that made me feel good. It took away alot of my insecurities and i decided i didnt look too bad bald. After a while my girlfriend got use to my new haircut and said she liked it. Her excuse for being different with me in the first place was that i had serious issues and she thought with a stubbly head i looked like a thug but if i was totally bald i'd suit it which im not. My advise to you is let him shave his head in fact encourage him and tell him he'll look sexy bald. Chances are he'll bottle out or do it. If he does it dont act shocked just carry on being the same and tell him he looks good and see nothing to worry about. Chances are he'll get over or not be too concerned and stop worrying and grow his hair back again whilst he still has it.

Can ask how long was he on propecia for it takes a very long time to see noticeable results usually at least six months.

 

[s.a.f]

for the record s.a.f has no duplicate accounts...I just ran his IP.

I may spend alot of time trying to make CCS see sense, :smack: but I'm not that desparate about it.

 

[ghg]

for the record s.a.f has no duplicate accounts...I just ran his IP.

I may spend alot of time trying to make CCS see sense, :smack: but I'm not that desparate about it.

It's worthless, he's an obvious troll. And a very good one I must confess.

 

[heyitsthatguy]

Yeah CCS is a troll, i've been reading alot of his posts and I don't believe it....or maybe I just don't want to haha
I think he may believe some of the stuff he says but mostly its just bullshit. Like safs sig about not going to parties until he gets more muscle on his arms...lol who thinks like that