What Happened In The 3 Days Away From GourmetStyleWellness.

[rclark]

So, i was banned for 3 day.

3 days without GourmetStyleWellness, without venting, without worrying and engaging in discussions, so it sounds good, isn't it ?
Nope.

Three days? I've been banned a total of 67 days this year.

You probably would have killed your coworkers by then.

 

[rclark]

NW3 at 17.

Now I understand. If I was Norwood 3 at 17, I would probably kill my neighbors.

Come to think of it, I hate my neighbors! You're not looking to move, are you @Stanx22 ?

 

[Stanx22]

Now I understand. If I was Norwood 3 at 17, I would probably kill my neighbors.

Come to think of it, I hate my neighbors! You're not looking to move, are you @Stanx22 ?

No.

I almost never see my neighbours.

 

[blackg]

Now I understand. If I was Norwood 3 at 17, I would probably kill my neighbors.

Come to think of it, I hate my neighbors! You're not looking to move, are you @Stanx22 ?

The West will send him into a frenzy.

 

[Chromedome1990]

Years of bullying, years of mental illnesses, years of rejection from society and loneliness, my shitty genetics and my rapid hair loss, being a kissless virgin at 18 all fucked me up until i had become the one i'am today.

Young man, wake me when you're 27 and all of those things you mentioned.

 

[bridgeburn]

if you're aware that depression is caused by chemicals imbalance, which i strongely believe too btw

Depression can also be caused by hairloss.. especially when its at a very young age

 

[bridgeburn]

So, i was banned for 3 day.

3 days without GourmetStyleWellness, without venting, without worrying and engaging in discussions, so it sounds good, isn't it ?
Nope.

What happened yesterday made me realize how important this place to me and how i truly need it.

Suddenly, for no reason at all yesterday, i snapped and got into tantrum.

I was extremely enraged and started to snap at my own family for no reason and told my mother to get the f*** out of my room and leave me alone, and then closed my door and stayed two hours sitting on my bed in pure darkness.

I spent those two hours thinking about killing, hurting, raping and every fucked up thing imaginable.

I wanted everyone to suffer and die a painful death so badly that i was ready to sacrifice my family and everyone i had ever known to see it happen, i was extremely fucked up.

The rage and hatred inside me was too strong that i almost fainted, my head was hot, my body was shaking, i was dizzy and felt the worst headache ever possible.

After the two hours passed i started to finally feel normal again and it toke me few hours until i had controlled myself, and then i slept.

After i woke up, i realized how much of a shitty and fucked up person i'am and i felt disgust at myself and sorry for my family, but i felt sad because of how i had changed.

How i had changed from my old, pure self to the psychopath that i'am today.

Years of bullying, years of mental illnesses, years of rejection from society and loneliness, my shitty genetics and my rapid hair loss, being a kissless virgin at 18 all fucked me up until i had become the one i'am today.

I thought when my emotions die that i'll be free of pain and suffering and i'll finally control my emotions and be stronger, but no, bottling up your emotions will do nothing when you finally snap and release them at everyone around you.

I will see how i'll become and if this sh*t continues, i will ask to be commited to a mental institution and live there forever before i hurt anyone

or worse, before i hurt my own family.

this happened after a 3 day ban? I really hope you never get permanently banned

 

[Dante92]

Okay, Stan, please, seek help. This forum is not just about venting, it's about getting help and advice from a community of users, of people who can relate to your pain and your suffering and went through shitty experiences themselves. I know what it feels like, the helplessness, the anger for being rejected, insulted and humiliated for things outside your control. But please, don't hit rock-bottom as I did, it wil make climbing back to the top all the more difficult. You still have plenty you can do to change and improve your situation, the first step is admitting to yourself that you need help.

 

[bridgeburn]

Are you hair still getting better Bridge?

yes

 

[the bald arty]

Im not sure addiction of a form is a good idea. Plus your hair is not so bad.

 

[Stanx22]

Okay, Stan, please, seek help. This forum is not just about venting, it's about getting help and advice from a community of users, of people who can relate to your pain and your suffering and went through shitty experiences themselves. I know what it feels like, the helplessness, the anger for being rejected, insulted and humiliated for things outside your control. But please, don't hit rock-bottom as I did, it wil make climbing back to the top all the more difficult. You still have plenty you can do to change and improve your situation, the first step is admitting to yourself that you need help.

I told my parents that i'm mentally tired and fucked up and that i need some help, but they don't give 1 sh*t about it.

My father is also depressed and angry and i can never even talk to him.

My mother don't care and she can't see that my problems are serious (she knows that i have hair loss)

I have 1 friend and he is also fucked up and can't do anything for me.

Tried to seek professional help, all the therapists were sh*t and did nothing to me except taking a lot of money.

My parents don't even want to buy my treatments despite them having the money because they don't give a f*** about me nor my hair loss.

I tried everything, but nothing and no one gives a damn about me or even bothers to help me, even my parents.

And that fuels my hatred and anger even more, i feel like everyone think that i'm not even worthy of help or having a normal life.

 

[fixthis]

I told my parents that i'm mentally tired and fucked up and that i need some help, but they don't give 1 sh*t about it.

My father is also depressed and angry and i can never even talk to him.

My mother don't care and she can't see that my problems are serious (she knows that i have hair loss)

I have 1 friend and he is also fucked up and can't do anything for me.

Tried to seek professional help, all the therapists were sh*t and did nothing to me except taking a lot of money.

My parents don't even want to buy my treatments despite them having the money because they don't give a f*** about me nor my hair loss.

I tried everything, but nothing and no one gives a damn about me or even bothers to help me, even my parents.

And that fuels my hatred and anger even more, i feel like everyone think that i'm not even worthy of help or having a normal life.

You live in Egypt right, I take it stuff like depression is even worse understood there.

 

[razzmatazz91]

But you also know that this statement could precisely be what your pbm is: painting/seing things darker than they are...

That's something I am guilty of. So can hard to stop yourself from doing it though... Or understanding that what you think might be wrong.