Slipy, you are absolutely correct. If you go through every single post I have ever wrote on here, I have never once said I was balding. I use the word "thinning" because I have diffuse pattern balding that is going at a snails pace. I have BDD. That is my problem and when I started thinning, it became my obsession to slow down my thinning and try to keep as much hair as I can. My image problem started back when I was a teenager with acne and I was very skinny. I have written many times, I am very fortunate I have a minor problem compared to most of the people on here. I never have participated in the "pissing contests" on here with the low Norwood vs the high Norwood. My posts are all about dealing with BDD/OCD. I have never attacked anyone on this forum based upon how bald they are.
My insight on here is never about balding but about how obsessing about balding can ruin your youth and life. Its compulsively obsessing over a physical feature that I have in common with people on here. Not my Norwood level. My hair was not an issue in my 20's or 30's. I still had image problems. Hair is not the only image problem for alot of the posters on here. I also had low self esteem and social anxiety. Most people on here have that as well. I have always respected Uncomfortable Man and he has respected me because I do not participate in bashing anyone on here. I tried to find a BDD support group but online this came the closest to finding one. SAF was the main reason why I stayed around. He actually helped me get better. I used to believe unless you look like a male fitness model with a NW1, you are never going to be able to compete and attract the most beautiful women. I was so wrong. Women do care about looks to a point but personality must be to the level of their standards or you will just be a "play toy" to them until something better comes along. Women do care about looks and money( financial status). No argument there but its the personality that is going to keep them connected to you. If you become negative about your hair or anything else all the time, they will probably seek attention else where.
No one wants to be around negative people unless they are miserable themselves. Misery loves company as we have seen on this forum day and day out. This place was about support and not a contest of who has it the worst. The fact that several people fight over and over again about the same issues is pathetic. The fact that you want to "fight" with someone over what they rant means you got real issues yourself. Think about that. Someone comes on here to rant and then you tell them they should not rant because you have it worse than them. So who made you judge and jury. People need to learn to support and not judge.
So let me get back to slipy's question, with a minor correction as Primo might have not remembered my story here and he was confused with my situation with people like SAF. I can't tell anything about how its like to be bald because I only started thinning in my late 30's and now in my 40's I have a mild diffuse NW2. For my age, every forum member would think I have great hair in here and might even question if I have hair loss. However, I do have an image problem that I have learned to deal with but when I was in my late teens, 20's and 30's my image problem was major. I barely dated and had virtually no friends because I was alway worried about my skin and my looks. I know balding would have devastated me so I feel for all of you. I am just giving insight of what I have experienced with people in general and what I have learned all these years. You will all change the way you feel 10 years from now but if you have BDD, that will always be there. If you don't, lucky you. 10 years from now your life will be different so I just wanted to let people know if you care so much now, you will always care about your image. So my point is I lived in misery like so many of you. My reason and your reason is not the issue, its the fact that I allowed my misery to ruin my youth. If you want to wallow in misery too, then prepared to lose out in life. They say its never to late to change, well I now believe that is very true. I have changed for the better, hope some of you can too.
