Yeah hairloss kills your chances

[Nashville Hairline]

Jude is too busy shagging many, many beautiful women to get a hair transplant. :woot:

You guys are being incredibly, insanely harsh again (apart from Saf)...I sometimes wonder what planet you are living on. If Jude Law weren't a famous actor he'd still be with more women than the rest of us put together..

 

[virtuality]

If Jude Law weren't a famous actor he'd still be with more women than the rest of us put together..

I somehow doubt that.

I don't think it's fair to speculate how one's life could have turned out. He might have turned out to be an insecure person, we'll never know :dunno:

 

[s.a.f]

If Jude Law thought the same way as most guys on here he'd have stopped making movies in the 90's and become a hermit. Either that or got a wig.
He still manages to style it to an acceptable level. That pic is with wet hair and not styled. Its the equivelent of a Hollywood actress being papped without make up on.

 

[Oknow]

If Jude Law thought the same way as most guys on here he'd have stopped making movies in the 90's and become a hermit. Either that or got a wig.
He still manages to style it to an acceptable level. That pic is with wet hair and not styled. Its the equivelent of a Hollywood actress being papped without make up on.

Very good point SAF.

I was out last night, had a horrible horrible night - but you know you just need to keep on moving forward.

A lot of people simply give up.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I thought it was all about confidence... oh no, what happened?

Reality must have set in. Yup.

 

[virtuality]

I was out last night, had a horrible horrible night - but you know you just need to keep on moving forward.

A lot of people simply give up.

Join the club

I've been feeling sh*t for the last few days. There is a girl I like, but nothing is happening and I've been gradually getting more obsessed about her. I'm giving myself a few more weeks, if I can't move it on with her, I'll forget about her.

I know there is plenty fish in the sea, and I can get someone else, but that someone else won't be her.

I keep telling myself that I need to snap out of it and get on with my life, however, I don't want to have regrets in the future.

 

[Oknow]

I was out last night, had a horrible horrible night - but you know you just need to keep on moving forward.

A lot of people simply give up.

Join the club

I've been feeling sh*t for the last few days. There is a girl I like, but nothing is happening and I've been gradually getting more obsessed about her. I'm giving myself a few more weeks, if I can't move it on with her, I'll forget about her.

I know there is plenty fish in the sea, and I can get someone else, but that someone else won't be her.

I keep telling myself that I need to snap out of it and get on with my life, however, I don't want to have regrets in the future.

Girls - can't live with them, can't live without them.

 

[s.a.f]

No one like hair loss. To avoid hairloss need to take good vitamin supplements for body.

:stfu: :jackit:

 

[Primo]

Well, I'm a 25yo NW3 that maybe looks a bit "bonkers" as HPM put it earlier in the thread, but frankly I couldn't care less.

Girls only ever have good stuff to say about me because I carry myself confidently in public and always dress well. I've got that "good vibe" too, without being a sleazy dirtbag. I'm always positive and engaging and girls respond to that, despite the fact that my hair might look a bit strange compared to my other NW1 friends.

I also went out on clubbing the weekend, with a party of 12 people and two of the guys tried to rip on my hairloss. (It always seems to be guys rather than girls doing this)

Funnily enough, both guys are short NW1s, both very insecure guys always desperate for girls to like them, probably looking at me and thinking "what's this 5ft8, NW3 got that I haven't got?!" seriously one of them looked straight out of the topman catalogue, you could see he was trying way too hard with his clothes and the hairstyle! :gay:

Personally, I take all the brutal hairloss insults from guys on nights out as compliments because it obviously shows they feel threatened and see me as serious competition.

Anyway girls are extremely perceptive with men and if you greet them with a desperate, insecure and awkward-feeling vibe, they will sense it immediately in social situations and run a mile. Most guys just don't realise this and comfort themselves by blaming all lack of success on hairloss/lack of height/bad aftershave instead.

Honestly, I don't have a clue what's it's like for NW4+ men and don't pretend to know, but as a NW3 I can testify it's still very possible for me to command top female attention.

 

[TravisB]

Yes, I think confidence plays a bigger role than we think. Few years ago, I had full head of hair, but had weak game and confidence when it came to girls. I had girls that were interested in me, and were making "first step" towards me, but they certainly weren't the "hottest" girls in my eyes. In the best, they were average or slightly above average. Hottest girls very rarely make a first move on a man, even when they are attracted to him.

So, when I was trying to pick up the hottest girls, I basically failed, because I didn't know how to talk and act properly, and I think they felt I was not confident. So most of the time, they ended being taken away from me by guys actually uglier than me (i.e shorter, ugly face, worse posture, and most important - sometimes with even less hair!), but I saw that they had one advantage above me - that was the confidence. I saw that they were more relaxed than me when talking and approaching a girl, they knew how to treat a girl properly.

I consider myself attractive (wow, what an immodesty), I mean I got everything - the height, good face, good posture etc. Of course now I have less hair, but then I would say I was "flawless", and I could compete with most guys, when it came to looks.

In the recent years, I learned how to muuuch better lead the game with women, and I became much more confident. And it makes big difference. I actually suceeded with some of the hotter girls, despite my hair loss (I'm currently NW2, but with bad diffusion on top). I learned how to treat girls, and I feel when they feel comfortable with me. I know how to create "spark" between us, when the atmosphere becomes sexually tense. Everything matters when you approach the girl - appropiate conversation, appropiate posture, appropiate touching of a girl.

So that said - confidence matters A LOT!

 

[AoR]

I have to chip in that the very notion of hairloss affecting your chances with women that much is ridiculous. If you can talk to 20 girls and not pick one of them up, then that means you probably have NO idea how to approach and talk to girls, or sadly you might just not be attractive in the first place. I'd bet 90% of them didn't even notice the hairloss.

And there's more than just confidence...you have to have a good personality and know how to show it. Trust me when I say that matters more to girls (or at least to the girls who are worth chasing after) than how much hair you have.

I'm not saying looks aren't important at all. I'd say how you dress and present yourself goes a long way, but again that is an extension of your personality, and hairloss does not need to hinder it. I am a norwood 3 closing in on norwood 4 territory and I now hang out with more girls than I ever have in my life.

 

[kejan]

Last few posts are very good.

I'm NW3 at present and again, never had as much interest or friendship from the ladies than I do now.
I was a bit over weight about 2 years ago, but now fit and in shape but my hair is a worse position that it ever was and this is the most interest I've ever had from girls.

I was very shy for a while when I was younger from about 18-23. Not shy with friends or males in general but with women, I really didn't know how to talk to them. I grew up playing soccer, being in a band, having a brother, and cousins who were all pretty much males that the only women I interacted with were friends' mothers or older relatives.
I looked much better when younger, don't we all? :woot: and spurned a few good chances with some outright great looking women due to my lack of confidence around them.
One of my friend's said his sisters friend al called me ''A waste of a nice looking guy'' due to me not chatting to them.

The hairloss struck a bit, I got frustrated, I ate a bit and put on a bit of weight and then I woke up and started looking after what I eat and exercising. I then decided to do what I can with my hair and move on. I started practising my 'women' skills with everyone I could.
The first few months, people all commented ''When did you start chatting to women?'' etc.

Said this a few times, but for someone who's lacking confidence and how to chat to women. Try chatting up Shop girls/women even - it doesn't matter what/how she looks like. Next time you pop into to buy a juice or whatever when the assistant says ''How are you?'' in that throw about way say 'I'm grea, how are you?' and watch their re-action, almost 8 out of 10x they will look a bit surprised and then talk a bit about their day or the shift. They are probably so use to people ignorning the question or saying fine and puting their head down.
I know they are getting paid to be polite, but it's a start especially for folk who have severe confidence issues.
Just let the conversation flow and ask a few general questions and try make a light-hearted joke and it doesn't matter what she looks like.
It's a start and then once you do this a few times and get some confdience from it, you can go out to a bar/party and try it with someone you like.

There is some useful stuff on those PUA sites but personally, I'm nothing like many of them as a lot of it is false. I'd rather take some of the good things from it and the parts that I can adapt into my personality than transforming myself into a Neil Strauss wannabe.
Find out about yourself e.g if you are told you are funny, intilligent, smart or quizitive and work all these aspects into a more adorable you.

 

[superfrankie]

Anyway girls are extremely perceptive with men and if you greet them with a desperate, insecure and awkward-feeling vibe, they will sense it immediately in social situations and run a mile. Most guys just don't realise this and comfort themselves by blaming all lack of success on hairloss/lack of height/bad aftershave instead..

Well said. Being comfortable in your own skin will affect your approach and behaviour patterns which in turn will make other people comfortable with your presence and possibly even feel attraction for you, even with major hair loss. I know because Im a NW5 myself (okay lets face it, I had attention from hot girls before my hair loss so I guess I cant go from relatively good looking to awful looking just because of hair loss, especially when shaved)*

* although I can confirm from a couple of my NW1 darked hair friends that being shy can also work IF(!) you attract them physically right from the start. I know a couple of them who are such wussies when it comes to approaching women but they get approached instead by girls (even though they fail at a later stage to land the girl). Thats not possible for me though. If I dont have my game together I will be seen as a sad bald below average guy who should put his focus on buying hookers instead.

 

[TravisB]

That's true - handsome guy can attract lot of girls (although the hottest ones will rarely approach him by themselves), but if he doesn't have a clue how to talk to them, is nervous and stuttering, then he's f***ed anyway, because the girls will see that he's scared of them, and they'll be turned off by it, and they will eventually turn their attention to the uglier guy who is the "life and soul of the party". I know what I'm saying, because I've got this situation with quite a lot of girls.

 

[virtuality]

I tried to hook up as "just firends" (exchange emails, facebook, etc...)

Well, I've known this particular girl for almost 20 years. I never really paid attention to her until one night in 2005 she tried to flirt with me. I was in a proper relationship with someone else then, so I didn't really answer her advances. But since then part of me regrets not hooking up with her because she's a great girl, and this time it's me that wants to get close to her, and nothing is happening :sobbing: Karma??

I don't really like playing games or chasing girls, for me these things either happen or they don't. So, I'll get bored after awhile and I'll never ever get to that "friends" stage with a girl.

You know, I do feel and I do look older compared to a few years ago. My face and my hair has changed. But, I have been trying to be healthy and I think it shows. Most of my friends that I haven't seen for a long time do comment that I look younger and fresher. A young girl that I'm very friendly with keeps saying that I have a good vibe.

It's all in the attitude.

Are you banging her?

If not it's likely he can. Good vibe/good aura = I wanna f*ck you!

Been talking to someone today, she soooo wanted to get in my pants.. anyway, she goes like I can't believe a guy like you is still single, there is a certain vibe about you, etc... I'm like WTF!!!!

It's interesting that no one says I'm good looking, I guess my looks aren't my strongest point, but it sounds like my body language, etc is good enough :woot:

She's separated and with kids, I don't want to get involved with such people. Before you say anything, the conditions aren't exactly right for one night stand neither.. If I want to see her I'd have to make an effort like traveling to her place, and that would signal a level of interest. I don't want to give her any false messages. If she was next door or something, that would be just too easy...

 

[superfrankie]

That's true - handsome guy can attract lot of girls (although the hottest ones will rarely approach him by themselves), but if he doesn't have a clue how to talk to them, is nervous and stuttering, then he's f***ed anyway, because the girls will see that he's scared of them, and they'll be turned off by it, and they will eventually turn their attention to the uglier guy who is the "life and soul of the party". I know what I'm saying, because I've got this situation with quite a lot of girls.

This is exactly what happened to me this weekend. I went home with two girls just by having fun dancing around and joking whereas my NW1 friends just stood in the bar hoping something was gonna happen. I was not affected by their beauty. I was not scared. They danced around me, I didnt grab them, or touched them which in turn made them more crazy.

Btw, I didnt sleep with them. Only kissing and a lot of caressing. It was a great night. One year ago I thought no girl would want me again, but not when Ive been more comfortable with being me and not give a f*** about what girls will think of me, in some way they sense that. There is hope guys.

 

[ctulhu]

My two cents: When I was younger with good hair I was a social mess and couldn't get anywhere with girls even if they would approach me. When I was 21 I got my first girlfriend who I had my first time with, and things went well until I turned into a completely depressed mess with -bingo- hairloss.

When she left me I was 23 and a NW3 with diffuse thinning all over the top of my head. Before I really focused on my hairloss though, I started to take care of myself again, lost a lot of weight, dressed nicer and developed my social life.

Hair loss at that point completely destroyed me, I obessed about it day and night, and all the treatments I tried didnt change a thing. HOWEVER, every so often I forgot about my hairloss while out partying, and discovered I could actually be a pretty fun and charming guy. I had some success with women at that point, nothing to write home about, but still a loot better than when I was younger and had all my hair. I've been sexually involved with some good looking girls, and some not that good looking, and I've made out with a hot girl who was slightly crushing on me (confirmed by amutual female friend) who was about 6 inches taller than me. ( I'm 5´3´´).

Today, after about 18 months of treatment, my hair looks better in the front, but still very thin on my vertex. I am obviously balding, instead of just having slightly thinner hair. A slightly better NW3.

I am also in a happy relationship with a 19 year old girl, who knows about the problems I have with my hair, and knows about my treatments. She told me multiple times that she doesn't care about my baldness, and after quite some denial ("she's propably lying, I just know it!"), I believe her. Sure, I could be more attractive with more hair, but it's NOT my looks that make her like me, it's my personality above all else.

I absolutely understand how balding crushed your self-worth, I'm still struggling with it every day, but it DOES NOT hold you back from relationships and dating. Take it from a short, not that attractive, balding man.

 

[superfrankie]

I absolutely understand how balding crushed your self-worth, I'm still struggling with it every day, but it DOES NOT hold you back from relationships and dating. Take it from a short, not that attractive, balding man.

This is worth pointing out. We are always our own biggest enemy. I have actually had more success now with girls when I´m a shaved NW4,5-5 and more laid back than when I was a quite shy and self-absorbed NW1.

But ofc, having success with the ladies does not take away all the pain with losing your hair. Its a much more deeper pshycological issue than that. Hairloss will never be a good thing.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I'm glad your getting it on SuperF. At my work, all the overweight/homely girls love me. They see my bald head and equate that as the great equalizer to their own aesthetic shortcomings. The attractive ones however struggle to even look me in the eyes through their thin veil of politeness and seem to can't leave my company fast enough. :dunno:

 

[HairPieceMan]

i gues they see a good looking guy who is tall BUT is bald therefore he probably lacks the selection of an average looking guy with hair JUST BECAUSE he is bald.

the stigma of merely being bald for dating is really high, you must be part of like 5% of young adults who are bald, even if you look good, you are still bald, A LOT of people equate your hair with sexual power.

i think that would be negated if you were vin diesel, but even willis and statham still look pants bald a lot in daylight. (and they didnt reveal themselves bald until middle age)