You can't compensate it

[MrBastard]

I met a girl on a dating site, we met and we even spended a few nights together. My profile picture was me buzzed on 2mm top and 1mm sides, with a clear recarded hairline showing. I feel its better to show it clearely on a profile picture instead of risking an awqward first meeting..

Myth Busted!

 

[bigentries]

Oh yeah, the extreme pessimism
I buzz my hair but even back when I had a very thick hair I used to get no women attention.

But for some reason the NW7 guy I always talk about who is rude as hell has already married twice (And yes, the first time he was bald already) and the ladies are either disgusted by him or love him to the extreme.

Yes, baldness takes away from your looks (biology my ***, Black guys who shave their head have no trouble getting women) but I always assume all the guys that complain around here had it very easy at the time they had hair.

No women attention? People started to giggle at you on the street? Male friends made hurtful comments about your appearance?
That's the story of my life, and I could style my hair into an Afro back then

 

[MrBastard]

You just need to be confident. Yes, many girls will not be attracted. Yes, that can hurt. But you need to see past that and dont seem like and twat like alot of people here looks like they are acting like when the girl discussion come up. Sure it might be harder to find the girl and get her attention at first, but once she get to know you and like you many girls will see past the hair issue. I know MANY people who are slick bald/balding and got good/ok looking women.

So man up... Life is not supposed to be easy

 

[Ori83]

i see myself in the optimistic camp and i agree, vast majority of women wont go with cuse of baldness, its VERY clear to me now when i almost lost it all, not only that, but im in great shape and im confident guy i like to think and in my collage most girls wont give me an half a chance to get to even know me (also some guys), but i dont blame them, just as i wouldnt want to be seen with unattractive people they dont want to be seen with me. very simple, this is how the world works, im not mad over this i understand this and just try to play along... its only bad luck guys just be happy its not something worse and keep hoping some day a nice girl will be attracted to you truely for who you are (which is very unlikely these days lol )

 

[qball01]

I love how people think that "acting cool and outgoing" is being confident...you people think confidence is an act that you put on display...then your life doesn't dramatically change after one or two events where you were "confident" so the automatic conclusion you get is that "confidence doesn't matter, its all looks...I'm bald so no matter how much confidence I have, I'm still a loser."

newsflash...you're not as "confident" as you think you are! And also, guess what...just "acting confident" also isn't going to guarantee you girls! Do you make moves, do you attempt to blatantly show them that you are interested in them (guess what..this involves being sexual)? Do you try and physically escalate things with women and show them you're worthy of being more than just friends? Judging by some of your posts that I have read, (where you basically tell yourself you're a bald loser) I really doubt you even try to do anything more than just speak in a loud voice and occasionally make women laugh...that isn't going to be nearly enough to get them interested buddy...ESPECIALLY when you're not as attractive due to hairloss...you need MORE balls than you would otherwise have in that case.

 

[BornIn89]

Do you make moves, do you attempt to blatantly show them that you are interested in them (guess what..this involves being sexual)? Do you try and physically escalate things with women and show them you're worthy of being more than just friends?

Sounds less like confidence and more like sexual abuse lol

 

[Ori83]

qball01 i have more then a few good looking female friends (and thats what is is just friends!) who stated infront of me as a bald man, that they will never date bald men. and these are extremely good looking girls (one done some modeling long time ago, and she is 32 years old) few months ago i went to a club with a 24 yo girl and a bald young guy approached her and she immediately turned the other way and start dancing with me as if he had some disease, i actually felt so repulsed by her behavior i stopped talking to her. yet the less attractive girls that i know would date almost anyone... on the same note, i had a good run with 30yo+ women.... my conclusion: the more attractive and the younger the girls are, the less likely they will go with a bald man... actually, i say 95%+ of the 25yo- wont give a bald man a chance regardless of his confidence and "sexual aggressiveness" you mentioned (my guess they would just call the cops on you), older chicks will start to settle on the looks department as their biological clock is ticking very fast and many guys over 30 are losing their hair.
now im not blaming girls over this at all, i understand them, just as i wouldnt date a fat girl i dont expect any better treatment from the girls, this is how the world works my friend, if you had some success then kudos to you, but most men cant pull with a bald head. and i dont buy that Niel Strauss bs, i think this guy is wayyyy overrated in that pua scene, instead of reading about this pua bs, spend your time in the gym or on the running course and youll get way more female attention.

 

[FSHGLD]

I agree with the 'confidence is over-rated' argument to a point...I think most girls don't really like guys being too forward and a lot of girls I've been friends/acquainted with talk about how much cocky/forward guys piss them off (and they're often good-looking), mainly because they don't trust them and don't like the idea of being used/not respected by a guy. Of course there are others who don't give a sh*t as long as the guy is good-looking.
But at the same time, most women are attracted to assertiveness...if you're timid in the bar they'll assume you'd be crap in bed, so I think there's a balance to be struck.
Saying that 'no women like bald men' is a bit unnecessarily defeatist, I think we all know that there are some bald men who score hot chicks, but it is undeniably harder, and I don't think there's much you can 'do' to compensate....your other traits will shine through or they won't. What can I really 'do' to attract the same calibre of girls I did 4-5 years ago? Nothing, of course, just be myself and hope some are interested. Of course they generally aren't because I'm a NW3v-NW4 at 24....I was asked to be a model in my college's fashion show when I was 19 (for the following year). I knew there was no point in pursuing it because my hair loss would be obvious by the following year..I don't think anyone would think I look anything like a model now (though I do still get some compliments/attention).

 

[GeminiX]

Confident is not a personality trait like arrogance or cockiness, you can be humble and confident. In fact, most cocky people I know are far from confident and the arrogance is a smoke screen.

You also can't "act" at being confident, it's not an overnight thing (substance abuse excepted), confidence comes with experience and self assurance.

When I was dating, I was bald, overweight, and not particularly good looking; and yet I never felt I lacked attention from women. Sure, there were the shallow ones who only go for looks, yet even they would get chatty at times (I suspect they picked up on the fact I had no interest in them, that can be a turn-on).

What I did have in my favour though was a great group of pals, we would have really good times, dance, mingle etc. Lot's of smiling and socialising.

Please don't take offence (anyone), but the vibe I get from a lot of the people here who struggle with women is that they are the type of people who goes to a bar or club and then just sits in a corner, is sullen and stares at women with that "funny" look...

I've said this before, but I would *love* to be able to put that spark of self confidence into the heads of others.

One caveat I will add for fairness; I have never really been attracted to a person based solely on looks. Sure, I can appreciate beauty, but I'm far more interested in good times and having fun with the gift rather than just what the wrapping paper looks like. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I've dated a "swamp donkey", in fact based on my perception of my old looks I would say I regularly batted out of my league, but still, looks are not really what does it for me. Conversely, women can pick up on that and it's a nice quality for a guy to have.

 

[Oknow]

Confident is not a personality trait like arrogance or cockiness, you can be humble and confident. In fact, most cocky people I know are far from confident and the arrogance is a smoke screen.

You also can't "act" at being confident, it's not an overnight thing (substance abuse excepted), confidence comes with experience and self assurance.

When I was dating, I was bald, overweight, and not particularly good looking; and yet I never felt I lacked attention from women. Sure, there were the shallow ones who only go for looks, yet even they would get chatty at times (I suspect they picked up on the fact I had no interest in them, that can be a turn-on).

What I did have in my favour though was a great group of pals, we would have really good times, dance, mingle etc. Lot's of smiling and socialising.

Please don't take offence (anyone), but the vibe I get from a lot of the people here who struggle with women is that they are the type of people who goes to a bar or club and then just sits in a corner, is sullen and stares at women with that "funny" look...

I've said this before, but I would *love* to be able to put that spark of self confidence into the heads of others.

One caveat I will add for fairness; I have never really been attracted to a person based solely on looks. Sure, I can appreciate beauty, but I'm far more interested in good times and having fun with the gift rather than just what the wrapping paper looks like. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I've dated a "swamp donkey", in fact based on my perception of my old looks I would say I regularly batted out of my league, but still, looks are not really what does it for me. Conversely, women can pick up on that and it's a nice quality for a guy to have.

Gemini out of curiousity and not to be offensive. Do you date men or women right now? Always wondered what dating is like after you have a sex change.

I take it you dated women; how did they feel about you wanting a sex change?

 

[GeminiX]

Gemini out of curiousity and not to be offensive. Do you date men or women right now? Always wondered what dating is like after you have a sex change.

I take it you dated women; how did they feel about you wanting a sex change?

I used to only date women, I had no interest in guys what-so-ever. I don't think I really felt the same way about women as other guys did, which may have been what gave me an edge. As for how I felt, it was mostly envy I think; when I chat to former girlfriends and exes, a lot of them say I was a great listener and seemed genuinely interested in what they had to say (I was), not just the way guys fake interest hoping it's a way to get into bed with them.

Now that I'm *me* I'm fairly open; bi-sexual if a label is required, but really it's deeper than that. I'm attracted to personalities and people generally regardless of looks and gender.

 

[deadlocks]

Do you make moves, do you attempt to blatantly show them that you are interested in them (guess what..this involves being sexual)? Do you try and physically escalate things with women and show them you're worthy of being more than just friends?

Sounds less like confidence and more like sexual abuse lol

Kind of. I now attend college and see how girls act with guys. Girls almost always act first. This means, they choose and only then you do.
Yes, I'm a bit discouraged confidence means almost zero, it's mostly about looks. Just imagine dating with a fat woman, will her confidence matter? To me no. It's same here. Confidence is good, for you, but it's way overrated.

This negative outlook came after yesterday discussion with one girl there are tons of lonely women wanting to be married. Yes, but they want to marry Brad Pitt, or something not worse. When people say this, really, in the world there are thousands of women, but you even don't imagine how your chances are reduced with them. They rate bald men 20 times less attractive then with hair, this says it all.
This reminds me of one woman writing on a date site "there are so many bald and fat men here, what in the world are they hoping for?" You see guys, we even shouldn't hope.
But you're right, I need to work on myself further, in the end we are men and should have balls. Cheers.

I myself would like me a confident fat girl. Granted, I of coarse still would be attracted to her (like a even body for example, good face, nice / compatible personality). You clearly don't know what confidence means in women. Seriously, you want a girl who knows what she's doing and where she's going in a relationship. If she has confidence in herself, she's less likely to make those bad decisions we all know women can make.. cheating, lying... you name it.

So yeah, a "fat" confident girl would do it for me. Been attracted to heavier or at least fleshier women before (sorry to sound disrepectful or anything) so it's possible. Same the otherway around of coarse. Girls can, and will be able to love bald guys. I know that if I'm bald, maybe 30% of girls would still look at me the same (yeah, a lot less but if you pay attention really, attraction with random people is everywhere!).

Sure, you got to work on yourself harder... But mostly it's possible. Personality helps, emotional stability and confidence also do a lot. How you get it, is your journey. "Tan, gym, clothes" is what most people say, but you don't need them if you know something else / better. It's all about following your goals.

Then again, I myself am still scared sh*t loads of hairloss.

 

[Sebastien]

Idk you guys all talk like every other man that isn't bald looks like brad pitt. If you wear some decent clothing, dont rock the thinning look, a decent body and are not much of an a**h** you are probably more attractive than 60% of the normal 'male' population. I guess man that come to these forums are vain to begin with so yeah, you'll put in some effort.

 

[Ori83]

all right Sebastien, your right, todays world isnt superficial at all, and all men are born equal, girls treat bald men just the same as none-bald men... 100% true. :bravo:

 

[FSHGLD]

You won't be making the same comments when (and if) you ever reach a more advanced stage (NW4+) ... you'll see. You just haven't arrived at that stage yet. For your sake, I hope you don't. You should hope you don't as well.

I was thinking of starting a thread on this, but will ask you now anyway...although you've kind of answered.

I was gonna ask if people who are NW6-7 (no hairline at all) found the transition from NW1 to NW3v (ish) - from full head of hair to thinning hair and bald spot at the back but still ok hairline tougher, or the transition from a half a head of hair to nothing at all?
I've got a pretty ok hairline, it's receded a bit but means I get described as having a 'shaved head' rather than bald in general. I've got a bald patch at the back though, probably at best 15-20% of original density.
I'm sure that I'd find the transition from what I have now to what my dad has tougher than what I've already experienced though...I feel like I depend on my hairline psychologically in some way.

Any thoughts?

 

[s.a.f]

I was thinking of starting a thread on this, but will ask you now anyway...although you've kind of answered.

I was gonna ask if people who are NW6-7 (no hairline at all) found the transition from NW1 to NW3v (ish) - from full head of hair to thinning hair and bald spot at the back but still ok hairline tougher, or the transition from a half a head of hair to nothing at all?
I've got a pretty ok hairline, it's receded a bit but means I get described as having a 'shaved head' rather than bald in general. I've got a bald patch at the back though, probably at best 15-20% of original density.
I'm sure that I'd find the transition from what I have now to what my dad has tougher than what I've already experienced though...I feel like I depend on my hairline psychologically in some way.

Any thoughts?

You start off seeing that first signs of temple/hairline recession and feel pretty bad, you try combing to disguise it.

Then you move onto NW3 it gets worse because now theres no real disguising it and you start to panic praying it wont get worse.

Now you've progressed to NW4 theres nothing you can do but buzz it, its obvious you look much worse than you did a year ago. You pray 'if only you could just get back to NW3 again, you could cope with that'. Its ruining your looks but at least you still have some precious stubble up there, you're not totally like grandad yet. "Please God dont let it get any worse"!

NW5 - "How did this happen"?? You are bald you shave it down to zero, You are officialy bald but every bit of stubble is still precious.

NW6 as the last bit of hair you had left slips away your spirit has finaly crumbled. It cant really get worse, but thats no comfort at this stage.

To be honest its like starting out as a 6'2" guy and slowly shrinking to a 5'2" guy.

 

[s.a.f]

Hairline means pretty much to you when you start losing hair. But... the truth is, in my opinion, women generally look down at any kind of baldness. So if you are thinning nw2-3, they rate you as "balding". Receded hair, a relatively big bald spot. it's started. Your hairline of course means to the shaping of your face, but people don't look at you straight most of the time. It's how you look in the mirror. So when you have some receeded hair or a bald pot, your appearance is much damaged already.
Norwood-3 or a mature high hairline is already pretty ugly most of the time, it ruins the shaping of the facial structure. Or course some people look well with it, but the minority only and if it's not too advanced.
As I'm now a sleek nw6, I can tell being receeded nw3-5 is much worse psycologically because you are neither dead nor alive so to say. When you're sleek bald it looks better than ugly patches of hair you're left with. Hairline if gone, but your looks is simply different. You simply look like you never had it. Who will believe a bald man had hair ever? :woot:

I dont agree I think ANY NW6 would be ecstatic to wake up and find themselves a NW3 again. Especially in their 30's NW3 in your 30's is acceptable. Either way for me everystage is better than the one that follows it. With each stage you seem to look more and more like an old man.
And yeah NW3 is balding, women dont see NW2 as though.

 

[bigentries]

I want to believe this is just a minority of opinions or is simply a white thing

I'm Hispanic and very light skinned and know I'm in advantage since white looks are really cherished in the Hispanic community.
Being dark skinned, short and with Indian features is a worse stigma than being bald, yet I've never seen anyone as self-loathing as the ironic quote from Ori83. I see people who are considered "ugly" dating people who are considered "beautiful" all the time

I don't like to be balding, but as any other physical flaw in me, I don't exaggerate the problems it brings.

People around here make it sound like its something that really turns you into a deformed monster that no women would be able to love.

 

[sergiotahini]

When I went from NW1 to NW2 I didn't even really notice. Then as I started diffusing to NW3 my reality quickly became a living hell. I'm preoccupied all the time and it sucks. I just don't want to be bald. It's depressing to read dudemon and uc's posts, but I think there's a lot of truth to what they say, and the truth sucks; there is nothing good about going bald.

Regarding the original topic: I think it's probably true that you can't compensate for it. To have any success with women as a bald guy I imagine that you would need to develop a thick skin and learn to just stop caring at some point. Rejection is certain, and you will need to put in more work than you would if you had no hair loss; be prepared to maintain an acceptable physique, be engaged when they speak to you, and generally offer a pleasurable overall dating experience. It sucks, but that's reality. However, if you are persistent you will find acceptable women willing to date you. I have a number of bald friends (NW4+ at 27-35ish) and none of them are celibate hermits. Do they date "hot" women? Yes, some do, although not the sort of Maxim models I imagine many in the young crowd on this site think they're entitled to. Still, when I was in my early 20s my friend's father owned a modeling agency and we went clubbing a lot, and I did see bald (but rich) guys pulling those types.

I feel really bad for the younger guys though (under 24 or so). People are often extremely shallow at that age.

 

[Ori83]

bigentries, your here just like the rest of us, please climb down from that tree.