You Will Look Great Bald If You Have These 5 Signs!

[mr.statham]

No, he’s an ugly mess. Skin discoloration, wrinkles, saggy cheeks, fucked up teeth and jawline, frowning nose area, and that’s only a picture. Imagine looking at the dude up close.

Nah, I agree with the video. It's mostly his ears. Photoshop normal ears on him, and he'll look way better.

Somehow Channing pulls off big ears, but not him.

 

[Hairsystemnoob]

Nah, I agree with the video. It's mostly his ears. Photoshop normal ears on him, and he'll look way better.

Somehow Channing pulls off big ears, but not him.

I disagree but I respect your opinion.

 

[mr.statham]

We use a completely bald head to explain.

First point of attack: skin color. The darker it is, the more lenient.

Second point of attack: skin thickness. Thick, tight, linear skin wins. Wrinkly, watery, puffy skin loses. You combat that by having a good hygiene, proper neck alignment, proper posture, proper dentals. I’ll come back to the last part later.

Third point of attack: skin condition. Do you have moles? Acne scars? Discoloration? You lose. How to fix? Co2 laser, fraction laser, bleaching creams, silicone patches, kenalog injections, avoid the sun. It takes time, it’s super annoying to heal but suddenly your scalp is clean, so is your face.

Fourth point of attack: temple area. We haven’t discussed about angles yet but this is the pre-angle part that will clue you in. The further back your temples start, the more alienated you look. The more they start at the front, the less alienated you look. The more wide and open your frontal part of the scalp is, the bigger your head looks. Classic example is Jason Stratham who looks like sh*t but somehow baldies around the globe fall for it and call him Chad because theyre told to.

Fifth point of attack: forehead. Is it linear from eyebrows to its end? You win. Is it not? Do you have overdeveloped corrugator muscles? Do you have wrinkles from constantly lifting your eyebrows? Congratulations you look like sh*t. How to combat it? Wear a hat, it will stop you from lifting your eyebrows and looking up while lowering your head (this is done subconsciously to allow you to see hair in your receding crown). Corrugator muscles swelling can completely go away if you do this. Which brings me to my next point.

Sixth point of attack: cheeks and under eye area condition. Do you have saggy cheeks? Do you have eye bags? Congratulations, you can’t be saved. I’m kidding ofc you can be. How to combat it? Lift your head high, posture, etc. Look up to the sky or the sun frequently, that will fix the eye bags and your eyelids dropping all the time. Kids frequently and properly. It allows for the muscles in the cheekbones to develop and they cause lifted tight cheeks and also the “hook” line in your nostrils (if a friend of yours is a V and one day he comes up having that hook, be sure he got some last night). Also, proper bite is important but that’s a whole other story.

Seventh point of attack: ears. If you’re like Legolas, better fix it. You fix it by keeping the lower area of the ear slightly outward and tucking in the upper area, it gives you the male model ear shape. And ofc trim that disgusting huge earlobe of yours that hangs there like fish bait. Congratulations, you’re a 5.

Eighth point of attack: teeth. Braces, hygiene, veneers, whitening. The possibilities are endless. Once you sort them out, have a gum contouring done as well and you can smile all day. Smiling is confidence. It may not get you laid but you’ll live longer to witness a hair loss cure. I’m kidding, we are all gonna die bald. Let’s continue.

Ninth point of attack: lips. Not much you can do here just kiss frequently and learn to let the lips slide outward while doing it instead of shutting them down like a claw. If you’re gay, your lips development and shape depends on how you blow. And yes I’m being serious. Some chicks blow by tucking their lips and getting a stupid face. Other chicks blow by letting the lips out as they suck. No need to tell you who the winner is. Thin lips lose, big lips win. Conclusion? @Hate da Bt obviously doesn’t know how to suck.

Tenth point of attack: jawline. Here’s where most of baldcells get fucked. Whatever you do, if you go bald you better fix your jawline or you. are. done. Forget the minoxidil beards. Beards are disgusting anyway, they’re wigs for the face. Only insecure people grow beards except for those who naturally grow a perfect one. How to combat your non existing jaw? Have surgery. Have implants. Pay great attention to a 90 degree (almost) angle in the mandibular area from he earlobe down. Congratulations you’re a 6. And no, losing fat won’t fix it. Keeping your head high and perhaps doing some mild neck extensions will assist. Add to it that generally having a thicker neck helps disguise your complete lack of manliness.

Eleventh point of attack: eyebrows. This plays a HUGE part in how a bald head looks. Huge. Huge. H-u-g-e. Let’s break it down. Do you have no eyebrows? You’re hospitalized. Do your eyebrows make a big curve? You’re a bald lady. Are your eyebrows thin, sparse and thyroid-like? You’re fucked but not totally. You basically want to have deep dark eyebrows that are as linear as possible, NOT painted perfect (that’s gay) and with a slight direction down. TLDR check out Brad Pitt’s eyebrows and don’t try to mimic his constant puppy look as that will wrinkle your forehead. How to fix eyebrows? Latisse unless you have blue/green eyes. Minoxidil unless you wrinkle with it. Castor oil if you believe in slow gains. Eyebrow transplant if your donor is pristine with dark THICK STRAIGHT hair. And better do it in a good Doctor cause density has to be perfect and he needs to stay in a small linear area.

Point of attack number 12: chin. Just get a normal chin. Preferably wide but not long or pointy. If you have a pencil pointy chin or one that wrinkles then grow a beard shadow.

Point of attack number 13. Head shape from the sides. Remember where most baldies have this giant head from where the ear ends up to their galea? That’s done because of two things: a. Biting/chewing mechanism and b, sleep position. That’s why many have this thinned area ina specific part of their temples and coincidentally it’s right in the muscle that expands when you chew gum or bite with force. It’s my belief actually that hair loss starts from the teeth. The way with which we bite, sleep and pose develops the muscles in the scalp that either choke or don’t the hair follicles in the galea and in some cases in the entire scalp (diffuse) and neck pressure creates dermatitis which can expand in the nose, the eyebrows, the chest. All are areas where you can create an awful amount of tension. Doctors name this tension “stress” and then they tell you “that will be 50€”. As to how to fix this, it’s a story for another time. But generally having an oval face EXCEPT FOR the mandibular area is preferable as a bald man. Otherwise you look like an alien.

Oval face with square mandibular area, wide proportionate chin, tucked in ears, full cheeks and a straight French nose preferably with normal nostrils and straight dark eyebrows which give the illusion of a separation between your ugly face and your bald head.

When I said “figure out the angles” it wasn’t about this only. It was about how to posture your face in the event of a picture or when you’re talking to a girl. You always try to keep everything at an angle that squares your dumb face as much as possible. Turtle neck, saggy cheeks, lifted eyebrows, all those are recipes for disaster.

So pick up your phones. Shave that head. And walk to the nearest plastic surgeon because you’ve got work to do. Congratulations, you’re an 8.

Now I don’t know how god created you but the last 2 points ain’t easy to come. I know what you’re gonna say. “Hit the gyyyyym”. No. Chicks don’t care. Like literally they don’t. Not one bit.

The last two points are: height and penis. Are you over 6 feet? You’re good. Are you 5’9” or more? You’re still an 8 but at least you ain’t a dwarf. Are you 5’5” or less? You’re lucky, I hear South Korea and Thailand are very affordable. So let’s assume you’re a 9.

Penis: ah, there we are. The pinnacle of fear (and bs). Do you have a monster dick? Life is yours, literally go and f*** anyone. You’re bulletproof. Are you 6” or more? You’re a 9,5. Are you tiny? Remember to pick your jelqing tools on your way to Japan. You’re still an 8.

Bonus: walking and posture: knock knees, bow knees, pelvic tilt, hunchback, turtle neck, shoulders down etc. if you got those, fix them. Learn to walk like a model, not like a stiff board.

Another bonus: hygiene: the cleaner you are, the better. I won’t bother going into detail.

This is how you become a 10, while being bald. Or a 5. Or a 6. Or an 8. Or a 9.

As DalaiLama said: if a problem has no fix it’s pointless to worry about it.

That’s how you embrace baldness. You fix a ton of other sh*t and realize how ugly you were to begin with. Then you know that hair played no part in it. All Androgenetic Alopecia does (we are talking alopecia, not your sorry *** nw2) is f*****g with your conception of “age” and “time”. As if you’re 20 and I drew a magic stick and now you’re 40. With the mentality of a 40y old you’re trying to hit on a 20y old girl. That’s why it fails and kills you inside. It’s all mental. If you bring yourself back to your real age, you’ll never rub a lotion on your scalp again.

Thank you for reading my thoughts on this and if you have any questions just shoot.

@DyingOfTheLight does this ^ look like someone trolling? I'm not sure. Too much effort.

 

[DyingOfTheLight]

@DyingOfTheLight does this ^ look like someone trolling? I'm not sure. Too much effort.

No. Way too personal as well. Looks like someone who's unsuccessfully trying to troll fellow baldies as some form of idiotic cope. Ironically one of the most elaborately deluded and insecure posts I've read on here as well, so he's also projecting.
To really get under people's skin you have to be more cold and calculating, I just lol at his pathetic efforts that stink of insecurity tbh

 

[mr.statham]

2 things:
1. Dont believe what women say, even regarding to their own look preferences, they either lie (even if its annonymous, basically they lie to themselves sometimes) or dont know what they are attracted to

Wamen lie in somewhat predictable ways: how much they are NOT impressed by bad boy jerks.

Also, asking abstract things like "do you like muscular guys" will give you garbage answers.

However, post a couple of photos and ask them to choose one, and they'll often have strong preferences that they are able to articulate.

So, I'm not too worried about them lying about this:

 

[karatekid]

First, you analyze the way that women lie too much, they just lie about everything that relates to attraction/sex/men in general. So you cant have reliable survey on those topics based on women opinions. Period.

And this guy just look like normal, average, unattractive dude in both photos so it doesnt say sh*t to me. My comment was directed to the Tom Cruise pictures.

 

[Wolf Pack]

First, you analyze the way that women lie too much, they just lie about everything that relates to attraction/sex/men in general. So you cant have reliable survey on those topics based on women opinions. Period.

And this guy just look like normal, average, unattractive dude in both photos so it doesnt say sh*t to me. My comment was directed to the Tom Cruise pictures.

As we say, hair is a halo for good looks only but it's also a matter of self identity and confidence. So even if an unattractive man gets good hair, it still makes a difference to his life without an objective aesthetic enhancement to his appearance among others.

 

[Bklyn_23]

View attachment 112104

Most female G@G users said both look hot.

I like how, even with a face as good as Tom f*****g Cruise, they had to change the eye color to make him look better bald. There might be some other photoshop wizardry going on there too, but it's hard to tell. Those cat's eyes make everyone look better - a friend took a picture of me with that via snapchat filter when we were video chatting one day and I was like "whoa, I wish I had those eyes!" I guess one can always get contacts lol.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

I guess one can always get contacts lol.

Except contacts look fake and if you are exposed the chick will think you are pathetic..

Btw they also changed his skin tone, facial proportions and stubble. Gave him temporal ridges and assumed that he'd have the ideal head shape. Plus if you look closely there's a hairline shadow above his forehead.

 

[Night]

People that compare them hiding their baldness from a woman to them wearing makeup is hilarious. It's why your single. Women hold the power. They are usually more sought after especially online. Also having this weird 'getting even' attitude and pretending life should be fair won't get you far in life.

 

[LastSamurai]

I'm currently in a 'I look shitty' phase. My skin on my face looks shitty, my hair looks shitty. I have these shitty bags.

But I'm trying to transition to a semi macrobiotic vegetarian diet, although allowing myself some cheese.

Alongside that, I'm planning to go sober. I had this weird complexion fail over the past week or so. Crappy junky food plus alcohol.

The point being, hairloss makes us look shitty. But there are still a sh*t ton of other variables.

My last short on sides haircut didn't work out at all. The woman cut my hair way too high. I don't know how she managed to f*** it up, but she did. They always do. My hair is definitely at an end game. I'm seriously curious about tanning solutions for my face. If I had some colour it would be much more bearable.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

My last short on sides haircut didn't work out at all. The woman cut my hair way too high. I don't know how she managed to f*** it up, but she did. They always do. My hair is definitely at an end game. I'm seriously curious about tanning solutions for my face. If I had some colour it would be much more bearable.

A lot of barbers can't differentiate between a low fade and a high fade, unless I show them pics and explain explicitly

 

[justinbieberscombover]

@mr.statham @Bklyn_23

 

[karatekid]

I like how, even with a face as good as Tom f*****g Cruise, they had to change the eye color to make him look better bald. There might be some other photoshop wizardry going on there too, but it's hard to tell. Those cat's eyes make everyone look better - a friend took a picture of me with that via snapchat filter when we were video chatting one day and I was like "whoa, I wish I had those eyes!" I guess one can always get contacts lol.

Lol they even added a tattoo on his neck and an earring. Which means that if you're bald you have to join a motorcycle gang and run crack dealer game.

 

[swingline747]

However Roly is the ONLY norwood 7 I find attractive so far...And looks good bald.
Normally not attracted to slick/severe bald guys.
Although mostly into guys.

that is NOT an attractive man

pink = female votes

blue = male votes


View attachment 112102

whats that from, is there an actual link to an actual study or was that just something you made

 

[swingline747]

Is he not masc?

View attachment 112266

he looks like a literal goblin

 

[justinbieberscombover]

Lol they even added a tattoo on his neck and an earring. Which means that if you're bald you have to join a motorcycle gang and run crack dealer game.

Lmaooo

 

[N003]

@mr.statham @Bklyn_23

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[justinbieberscombover]

View attachment 112497

Ain't bald beautiful?