Bald And Dating - Feeling More And More Hopeless

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hopingbutfearing

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Being bald is challenging in itself but to lose your hair at a fairly young age like myself (25/26) was not easy knowing that in time I would not be that attractive as I once was.
Now at 34, I’ve lost all my hair and I can definitely say that it has affected my dating chances. I’m not as appealing to women as I once was. I remember when I still had some hair left I would still get women in public giving me a second look etc. but now, nothing, I'd be lucky to get a glance. I'm sure this is something that many of you can relate to, that feeling like you're invisible sometimes and baldness has alot to do with it. Most women simply aren't into it. I obviously wouldn’t care if I was married but still being single, still searching at this age, this is not a great place to be.
Dating sites and statistics have proved that bald men receive fewer messages and spark less interest from women.

To prove this I actually did an experiment on a dating site I've been on for the past few months. I uploaded some old photos, ones of me from around 5 years ago when I still had a fair amount of hair (enough to have a buzz cut look) and still looked great. I left these photos on my profile for quite a while just to see who would message me compared to the messages I received when I have my current photos up (of how I look now with no hair) and did notice some difference. I tend to have older women viewing my profile with the bald look but I would say I’ve had less interest overall. There was one girl I remember who waved at me (whilst having my old photos up), I messaged back, she responded and then l changed them after my second message to her….and I haven’t heard from her since! She seemed very keen and then the moment she saw my baldness I guess it put her off.
I have thought about a hair transplant but even with that, I’ve been told that my baldness is so severe that I may not have enough donor hair to be a good candidate for one! I know there are some women who specifically like a bald head but they are few and far between.

How have other guys who are totally bald and still single coped with this impending thought that women won't even bother giving you a second glance?
 
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IdealForehead

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hopingbutfearing said:
What are the reasons behind that then if it isn't your lack of hair?
Click to expand...

Haha don't get me started man.

- short (5'7.5")
- tiny bird bone structure (ie. 6.25" wrist circumference at around the watch-wearing thinnest level of the forearm)
- born with a huge forehead which should finally be gone as of next week at least (1 less problem)
- boyish face and voice
- not white and where I am that alone is damn near a death sentence unless you're also at least tall/handsome/ripped
- bad facial development in puberty which caused crossbite/underbite and facial asymmetry, partially corrected with triple jaw surgery in my early 20s but still subpar and will need 3 more separate surgeries spread over 1.5-2 years to completely fix to ideal standards (probably will start the revision process later this year)

For the record, even most average guys will tell you girls never give them a second glance. If you were born or went through puberty below average this was never going to be a thing you'd experience.

In online dating 96% of the likes go to the top 50% of men, meaning just being below average to any extent makes you invisible.

If you're in the bottom 30% or so physically youre almost completely fucked for dating.
 
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joeblack2017

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I think you should invest and improve other areas of your life then. I mean from what I've experience, yes being bald takes out a huge huge part of being attractive, but women actually looks at the whole package and different areas of who you are. Been there dude. If you are physically fit, have good posture, neat and well groomed, can maintain eye contact and can hold up a great conversation, you're way up to par than the guys who have thick hair, flabby fat body, loose shirts and dirty pants, who are bums and are video game addicts (nothing wrong with it though) who looks at women in a creepy way and not even smiling at them. Being bald also gives you a sort of advantage that you can come off the radar when hitting on women, they think you are below average and won't set their guards too high, and by that, you can have the chance to get to know her, make her laugh a little and boom she's got you on her mind. True story. I even have an ex work supervisor, he is 38, shiny bald single father, and he's dating 20 yr old girls, knowing he has great value, can be a leader, funny and he doesn't care. He doesn't even have that much money too and has no car.

On the other hand. From my side, yes I know it may sound that I'm a hyprocrite but the reason why I wanna keep my hair is mainly for MYSELF. Its just that. I wanna look and feel good. I wanna have hair. I wanna wear a suit with hair. I wanna go out play sports and go to beach with hair. It has nothing to do with how insecure I am. I can and did go to dates even with my balding hair. I got a 20 yr old girl who has a boyfriend who was flirting with me and I got her to get to a coffee date and movie with a balding head. She wanted to go to my place and maybe sleep with me. I've been into a lot of RSD, pick up stuffs for a decade now and got my confidence and game in check. You know what I mean? I dont know if you guys get it, but having hair for me is more for myself and how I feel when I look at the mirror. I dont care how people see me. I dont want their approval. I feel that I've been at my best when I have hair. That's why I'm doing my damndest to keep it
 
Afro_Vacancy

Afro_Vacancy

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hopingbutfearing said:
What are the reasons behind that then if it isn't your lack of hair?
Click to expand...

IdealForehead said:
Haha don't get me started man.

- short (5'7.5")
- tiny bird bone structure (ie. 6.25" wrist circumference at around the watch-wearing thinnest level of the forearm)
- born with a huge forehead which should finally be gone as of next week at least (1 less problem)
- boyish face and voice
- not white and where I am that alone is damn near a death sentence unless you're also at least tall/handsome/ripped
- bad facial development in puberty which caused crossbite/underbite and facial asymmetry, partially corrected with triple jaw surgery in my early 20s but still subpar and will need 3 more separate surgeries spread over 1.5-2 years to completely fix to ideal standards (probably will start the revision process later this year)

For the record, even most average guys will tell you girls never give them a second glance. If you were born or went through puberty below average this was never going to be a thing you'd experience.

In online dating 96% of the likes go to the top 50% of men, meaning just being below average to any extent makes you invisible.

If you're in the bottom 30% or so physically youre almost completely fucked for dating.
Click to expand...

For all the whining about baldness making men invisible to women, the fact is that there are very, very few men on this forum who report having had great success with women prior to balding.

Do you have a reference for that 96% claim? I would have expected the distribution to be even more skewed, to be honest.
 
blackg

blackg

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Afro_Vacancy said:
For all the whining about baldness making men invisible to women, the fact is that there are very, very few men on this forum who report having had great success with women prior to balding.

Do you have a reference for that 96% claim? I would have expected the distribution to be even more skewed, to be honest.
Click to expand...
He's back! I thought you were coming back on April 7.
 
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4myfuture

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My recommendation to you is working on your self esteem/ confidence. Balding will usually make things a bit harder in terms of dating, but the more subconciously this is on your mind the worse it will get to deal with..I dont doubt that you will get less hits with online dating once you appear bald. You can overcome some obstacles if you improve the way you talk/interact with women..Honestly, it may not sound sexy, but it's all a numbers game. The more women you can talk to, the more you have a shot to hook up with ect ect ect. When I was single I reached a point where I just didnt care anymore. Infact, during the early dsting stages I would try to work my hair woes into a conversation in a tasteful way. Ultimately, I was just weeding out the people that may have a problem with balding. I decided to take this approach after a topik debacle I had when dating this one person in particular. This girl I did meet online and one her over on the phone. My pics were such that you couldn't necessarily see hairloss. I went through a very bried period where I used topik to try and boost my confidence (Give myself a better chance to work my magic)..I met up with this girl within a few weeks of us talking *topik in hair. Things went pretty well on the first date...enough so after the dinner we chilled in my car outside the restaurant in Manhatten listening to music. It was all a big relief since things had been moving along so well on the phone. We went on a second date, which wasnt quite as good but then we did get on each other a bit in the car and things seemed good..In any case, she cancelled on me when she was supposed to come to my place and then the next day she wanted to meet l, but earlier in the day. I did go meet her and it was extremely windy that day. I remember having the feeling that something may not look right with my hair. I met her for an early dinner and I knew something was up because she offered to pay for the meal. That night we spent less time in the car and our conversation on the phone was more brief. Then she completely ghosted me. I so didnt see it coming that I actually thought something happened to her. Several days later I realized that she must have seen the topik and recalled her briefly bringing up something about hair. I realized that she was probably fishing to see if I would come clean. Since I met her online, Im sure she had some other options on the table. I think the first couple weeks I was the front runner but then I noticed our conversations were getting a bit shorter. At first, I attributed it to us having gotten to knos each other and feeling more comfortable. I think the xldeal breaker for her was seeing my hair issues, maybe even being creeped out if she saw the topik. That was the last time I used that crap and I never looked back. Infact, this was the catalyst for me being ultra upfront about my hair moving forward. I found that many of the women I spoke to actually found it funny that I evened bothered to bring it up in the first place. But I found it liberating getting it off the table in the beginning..Maybe some of the women felt I had balls to be so direct about it. In any case, Im 37 and married for four years ar this point. My wife is pretty hot and she knows I treat my hairloss and doesnt really care. Im obviously in a different point of life than you as Im no longer dating, but I thought this story was relevant. I will say that I got so good at dating that I would identify red flags such as a girl being very superficial and I would cut the chord immediately. Many times these girls would reach out to me a time or two after that wondering what happened. Once the girl even became hostile, but I cut her because she made a comment once about some guys balding on the phone and I simply opted not to waste my time..I do remember getting a kick out of her hostility on our final call. In summary, just wear thw whole baldness thing and dont let it hold you back. Again, you may have to play the numbers but if you act confident and learn from your mistakes you can succeed. Infact, over time it becomes a near certainty. Just be a man and your already ahead of most of the femine androgenous guys today.
 
blackg

blackg

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4myfuture said:
My recommendation to you is working on your self esteem/ confidence. Balding will usually make things a bit harder in terms of dating, but the more subconciously this is on your mind the worse it will get to deal with..I dont doubt that you will get less hits with online dating once you appear bald. You can overcome some obstacles if you improve the way you talk/interact with women..Honestly, it may not sound sexy, but it's all a numbers game. The more women you can talk to, the more you have a shot to hook up with ect ect ect. When I was single I reached a point where I just didnt care anymore. Infact, during the early dsting stages I would try to work my hair woes into a conversation in a tasteful way. Ultimately, I was just weeding out the people that may have a problem with balding. I decided to take this approach after a topik debacle I had when dating this one person in particular. This girl I did meet online and one her over on the phone. My pics were such that you couldn't necessarily see hairloss. I went through a very bried period where I used topik to try and boost my confidence (Give myself a better chance to work my magic)..I met up with this girl within a few weeks of us talking *topik in hair. Things went pretty well on the first date...enough so after the dinner we chilled in my car outside the restaurant in Manhatten listening to music. It was all a big relief since things had been moving along so well on the phone. We went on a second date, which wasnt quite as good but then we did get on each other a bit in the car and things seemed good..In any case, she cancelled on me when she was supposed to come to my place and then the next day she wanted to meet l, but earlier in the day. I did go meet her and it was extremely windy that day. I remember having the feeling that something may not look right with my hair. I met her for an early dinner and I knew something was up because she offered to pay for the meal. That night we spent less time in the car and our conversation on the phone was more brief. Then she completely ghosted me. I so didnt see it coming that I actually thought something happened to her. Several days later I realized that she must have seen the topik and recalled her briefly bringing up something about hair. I realized that she was probably fishing to see if I would come clean. Since I met her online, Im sure she had some other options on the table. I think the first couple weeks I was the front runner but then I noticed our conversations were getting a bit shorter. At first, I attributed it to us having gotten to knos each other and feeling more comfortable. I think the xldeal breaker for her was seeing my hair issues, maybe even being creeped out if she saw the topik. That was the last time I used that crap and I never looked back. Infact, this was the catalyst for me being ultra upfront about my hair moving forward. I found that many of the women I spoke to actually found it funny that I evened bothered to bring it up in the first place. But I found it liberating getting it off the table in the beginning..Maybe some of the women felt I had balls to be so direct about it. In any case, Im 37 and married for four years ar this point. My wife is pretty hot and she knows I treat my hairloss and doesnt really care. Im obviously in a different point of life than you as Im no longer dating, but I thought this story was relevant. I will say that I got so good at dating that I would identify red flags such as a girl being very superficial and I would cut the chord immediately. Many times these girls would reach out to me a time or two after that wondering what happened. Once the girl even became hostile, but I cut her because she made a comment once about some guys balding on the phone and I simply opted not to waste my time..I do remember getting a kick out of her hostility on our final call. In summary, just wear thw whole baldness thing and dont let it hold you back. Again, you may have to play the numbers but if you act confident and learn from your mistakes you can succeed. Infact, over time it becomes a near certainty. Just be a man and your already ahead of most of the femine androgenous guys today.
Click to expand...
Interesting post but please consider using paragraphs next time.
 
ManinBlack

ManinBlack

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Murkey Thumb said:
Its a solution for thousands of men and has been for hundreds of years.
Click to expand...

It is NOT a solution. At least not a very good one. If it was we wouldn't have guys risking ruining their sexual health taking finasteride or getting scars on the back of their head from transplants just to avoid the horror of becoming that goofy bald guy with an obvious rug. It would have been a non-issue and nobody would bother with drugs or researching a cure. But it is not a very good solution for the majority of people, which is why they desperately avoid it and try a whole regimen of much riskier treatments before succumbing to it. Hell most people don't even resign themselves to wig wearing, they just end up shaving their heads and staying bald. Why? Because nobody wants to be that laughing stock in an awful looking toupee who is not fooling anyone but themselves.
 
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IdealForehead

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O

Obesecat

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1st your not getting girls because you are bald. You are not getting girls because you are old. Most men are married by the time they are your age. And most women by the time they are 24.

Lower your standards I’m sure there is still someone outthere for you
 
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S

SteveTabernack

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joeblack2017 said:
Being bald also gives you a sort of advantage that you can come off the radar when hitting on women, they think you are below average and won't set their guards too high, and by that, you can have the chance to get to know her, make her laugh a little and boom she's got you on her mind. True story. I
Click to expand...

One of the wildest copes I've seen around here
 
I

INT

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Yes getting bald will make you less attractive, what will even have a bigger negative effect on your attractiveness is when you start acting according to this.
Disclaimer: This is only the case for the women that are mentally worth dating however.
 
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