How Do You Guys Deal With The Worst Days?

[razzmatazz91]

I don't mean bad hair days here.
I'm talking about those of us who just look plain bad.

I've been on finasteride for 18 months. No improvement, a bit of shedding. I'm sticking to medication, but chances are I'm fucked for life.

Often, over the past 6 months, I have had suicidal ideation, been thinking about suicide almost daily. I won't do it to my family.... I just turned 26. But I can't see any good reason other than that to go on living. I don't know what to do with my life anymore..... Sure, I can get on antidepressants, work hard and "get by". But what's the point? What's the point of trying so hard, the point of doing anything at all if my life is going to be painful... and I have completely lost the ability to ever be happy?

How do I deal with this? I know it will never pass.... there's no solution unless I have miraculous results with finasteride AFTER these 18 months... how do you guys deal with this bullshit?

 

[kj6723]

Is it getting worse or just staying the same? Might need to add something more to your regimen if after 18 months nothing positive has happened

 

[Emu]

What about a transplant? How's your donor hair. They have come a long way with fue transplants. Have a successful fue and your life would change for the better in 6 months.

 

[myusernamenow]

what's the point? What's the point of trying so hard, the point of doing anything at all if my life is going to be painful... and I have completely lost the ability to ever be happy?

I don't want to disregard the unique struggles of hair loss, but it has been acknowledged for thousands of years that "life is suffering," as they say. That doesn't make it any less worth living. Things I would do when feeling down about hair loss: get away from this site, get exercise, consider therapy, volunteer, etc. Do anything except ruminate, basically.

 

[razzmatazz91]

What about a transplant? How's your donor hair. They have come a long way with fue transplants. Have a successful fue and your life would change for the better in 6 months.

I don't know. It could change for the better.... But in would need to keep on and on getting transplants...and I'll be a weird looking pathetic man when I'm too old to take finasteride anymore.

Also, I am a diffuse thinner...so probably it won't work. I'm poor too, but that could change.

I don't want to disregard the unique struggles of hair loss, but it has been acknowledged for thousands of years that "life is suffering," as they say. That doesn't make it any less worth living. Things I would do when feeling down about hair loss: get away from this site, get exercise, consider therapy, volunteer, etc. Do anything except ruminate, basically.

How can it not make it less worth living bro? And what do u do if u can't do anything? If just stepping out makes u tired....

 

[myusernamenow]

How can it not make it less worth living bro? And what do u do if u can't do anything? If just stepping out makes u tired....

I'm not sure what you mean. Pain, setbacks, failures, they're fundamental parts of life. I'm sure hair loss isn't the first problem in your life that's been out of your control. How did you handle those challenges? I think you'd benefit greatly from speaking with a qualified professional, as it sounds like you're despondent.

 

[Exodus2011]

I'm not sure what you mean. Pain, setbacks, failures, they're fundamental parts of life. I'm sure hair loss isn't the first problem in your life that's been out of your control. How did you handle those challenges? I think you'd benefit greatly from speaking with a qualified professional, as it sounds like you're despondent.

you may be right that you need to distract yourself from hair loss if you want to feel better (assuming you are doing everything you can to fix it in the first place) but hair loss is unique in that it REDUCES YOUR ACTUAL WORTH. that makes it worse than 99% of problems

most poeple's "problems" are meaningless and minor and stupid. boo hoo gf broke up with me (get another one, doesnt change you as a person), i'm poor (work hard), etc. its all so stupid

OP, one kind of person you can look at to feel better are uglies. theyre ugly no matter what they do with hair. i'm not going to lie most of my friends are ugly. perversely it helps me feel a lot better L O L.

of course like i said though if you really want to feel better GET MORE HAIR. you need to focus on saving for a transplant.

actually fixing your problems >>>>>>>>>>>>>> changing your response to them

 

[g.i joey]

I urge A lot of the members here who are depressed/suicidal and on propecia to consider a short break from finasteride, considering a side effect of the drug is depression and it seems as if MAJORITY of the depressed/suicidal members in here are on finasteride. It would be pretty important to rule out finasteride as the culprit to being in such a state mentally.

Not to discount the depression that actual balding brings on,I'd know, I was depressed as f*** before finasteride, but never considered suicide prior or while on finasteride.

Finasteride can definitely be adding to that and possibly even being the culprit to suicidal ideation.

 

[razzmatazz91]

I'm not sure what you mean. Pain, setbacks, failures, they're fundamental parts of life. I'm sure hair loss isn't the first problem in your life that's been out of your control. How did you handle those challenges? I think you'd benefit greatly from speaking with a qualified professional, as it sounds like you're despondent.

Thanks for the advice man. I'm in India. I've seen many therapists... Most of them here, even the good ones, hand you books like "the secret" and tell you some positive v thinking stuff. I was prescribed drugs too. I've got my iq tested on a therapists advice... And I'm a near genius. I think that makes it worse because I don't have the ability to fool myself into become positive or happy.... That's why I can't "just shave it brah" and be done with it, or join the "this too shall pass" club.

You are right that I'm becoming despondent. But I have no idea what to do anymore...I have no hopes and desires... Nothing.

But thanks for the advice man, really.

you may be right that you need to distract yourself from hair loss if you want to feel better (assuming you are doing everything you can to fix it in the first place) but hair loss is unique in that it REDUCES YOUR ACTUAL WORTH. that makes it worse than 99% of problems

most poeple's "problems" are meaningless and minor and stupid. boo hoo gf broke up with me (get another one, doesnt change you as a person), i'm poor (work hard), etc. its all so stupid

OP, one kind of person you can look at to feel better are uglies. theyre ugly no matter what they do with hair. i'm not going to lie most of my friends are ugly. perversely it helps me feel a lot better L O L.

of course like i said though if you really want to feel better GET MORE HAIR. you need to focus on saving for a transplant.

actually fixing your problems >>>>>>>>>>>>>> changing your response to them

Dude that is so f*****g strange. How can I just hang around uglies and feel better? I can't see a way out here.

I urge A lot of the members here who are depressed/suicidal and on propecia to consider a short break from finasteride, considering a side effect of the drug is depression and it seems as if MAJORITY of the depressed/suicidal members in here are on finasteride. It would be pretty important to rule out finasteride as the culprit to being in such a state mentally.

Not to discount the depression that actual balding brings on,I'd know, I was depressed as f*** before finasteride, but never considered suicide prior or while on finasteride.

Finasteride can definitely be adding to that and possibly even being the culprit to suicidal ideation.

That's true. Guys need to be careful. I was prescribed medication for depression even before I started finasteride. I am convinced that I am at present b depressed because of hair loss and not finasteride.
It sure made my depression worse. Earlier, at worst times in life... I would always look at solutions. When I was living under v the threat of physical and sexual abuse as a child 24/7 (and it actually happened quite a few times), I had my eyes on the future... I was always telling myself that i will grow up one day and no one will be able to do anything like this to me.

I know my past is pretty fucked up bro. But trust me...I started falling into suicidal ideas only after hair loss... And the realisation that THERE IS NO SOLUTION FOR ME but to hope against hope that finasteride will work the way it has worked for those who see improvement after a long long time.

 

[myusernamenow]

Thanks for the advice man. I'm in India. I've seen many therapists... Most of them here, even the good ones, hand you books like "the secret" and tell you some positive v thinking stuff. I was prescribed drugs too. I've got my iq tested on a therapists advice... And I'm a near genius. I think that makes it worse because I don't have the ability to fool myself into become positive or happy.... That's why I can't "just shave it brah" and be done with it, or join the "this too shall pass" club.

You are right that I'm becoming despondent. But I have no idea what to do anymore...I have no hopes and desires... Nothing

I'm talking about CBT, not some life coaching or positive thinking. Your IQ has nothing to do with your unwillingness or inability to develop the tools necessary for you to live a meaningful life. Assuming you're "too smart" for treatment is going to cause you a lot of trouble.

 

[razzmatazz91]

You're right about that. I don't want to sound like a dick man....but most therapists here are awful. I do know about CBT. I have been trying it for a few months. It has helped me get by at times without the medication...but I don't know about the meaningful life part. I may not be too intelligent for it, but may well be to hopeless. Still, I will get back on my feet one of these days and get back to CBT.

It's hard to just go on living when you know that happiness at an animal, visceral level is impossible. Pleasure is certainly possible, but not happiness. It's hard to go on living as if it is a duty to my family when I really don't want to. But I am brave enough to go on..

I'll be thinking about your wise words in your posts above to help me get through this.

 

[PappinAce]

life is just death in slow motion. you're on your way out whether you like it or not. will that be tomorrow via self inflicted wrist wounds or in 70 years from cardiac arrest?

all that will be left behind when you're dead is the effect you've had on others. that's the case whether you're a narcissist full head or a depressed baldy. what effect will you have?

maybe we can't live well. but let's at least try to die well. death is a lot longer than life.

 

[Exodus2011]

You're right about that. I don't want to sound like a dick man....but most therapists here are awful. I do know about CBT. I have been trying it for a few months. It has helped me get by at times without the medication...but I don't know about the meaningful life part. I may not be too intelligent for it, but may well be to hopeless. Still, I will get back on my feet one of these days and get back to CBT.

It's hard to just go on living when you know that happiness at an animal, visceral level is impossible. Pleasure is certainly possible, but not happiness. It's hard to go on living as if it is a duty to my family when I really don't want to. But I am brave enough to go on..

I'll be thinking about your wise words in your posts above to help me get through this.

I understand bro. But it is possible to feel happiness now and then as a young baldie. If i can then you can. Ofc a lot harder but STILL possible

What youre talking about is something ive been feeling since ive been bald too - life has no or little meaning. It has to do with being inferior, looked down upon, and rejected. especially relative to a not so distant past. That latter fact makes it 10x more painful

 

[g.i joey]

That's true. Guys need to be careful. I was prescribed medication for depression even before I started finasteride. I am convinced that I am at present b depressed because of hair loss and not finasteride.
It sure made my depression worse. Earlier, at worst times in life... I would always look at solutions. When I was living under v the threat of physical and sexual abuse as a child 24/7 (and it actually happened quite a few times), I had my eyes on the future... I was always telling myself that i will grow up one day and no one will be able to do anything like this to me.

I know my past is pretty fucked up bro. But trust me...I started falling into suicidal ideas only after hair loss... And the realisation that THERE IS NO SOLUTION FOR ME but to hope against hope that finasteride will work the way it has worked for those who see improvement after a long long time.

Wow, well I didn't aim my post directly at you, as I had no clue of your prior history with depression. Just I've been reading about ALOT of people being depressed and coincidentally majority of them are on finasteride, and I mean it's a well documented side effected, so ruling it out as a culprit should always be considered.

I really hope the next 6 months make a turn for the better for you man as you really seem like a genuine guy.

 

[Exodus2011]

Wow, well I didn't aim my post directly at you, as I had no clue of your prior history with depression. Just I've been reading about ALOT of people being depressed and coincidentally majority of them are on finasteride, and I mean it's a well documented side effected, so ruling it out as a culprit should always be considered.

I really hope the next 6 months make a turn for the better for you man as you really seem like a genuine guy.

The depression is from the baldness that makes them take finasteride, not the finasteride lol

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

The depression is from the baldness that makes them take finasteride, not the finasteride lol

Then depression from finasteride not working.

 

[g.i joey]

The depression is from the baldness that makes them take finasteride, not the finasteride lol

Ok that's your case, and many others too, but depression is a listed side effect of finasteride so why not rule that out in the scenario that someone is considering offing themselves?

 

[Exodus2011]

It would be hella hard to do an objective study on it. Bald men are more likely to be depressed and especially the ones who are taking finasteride for it

I wont completely discount it as nonsensical because of how it changes testosterone, but the burden of proof is on you

 

[Exodus2011]

Ok that's your case, and many others too, but depression is a listed side effect of finasteride so why not rule that out in the scenario that someone is considering offing themselves?

Lol i wonder how they controlled for depression from the hair loss itself.

It quite likely could have been conflated with possible depression from finasteride

 

[g.i joey]

It would be hella hard to do an objective study on it. Bald men are more likely to be depressed and especially the ones who are taking finasteride for it

I wont completely discount it as nonsensical because of how it changes testosterone, but the burden of proof is on you

Why would you be depressed if you gotten your hair back?