life is over :[

[Gboy2k8]

We're all talking to the air , it isn't helping.

Guess this weekend I'll try again,
I'll tell you what's up :\

 

[ali777]

We're all talking to the air , it isn't helping.

Guess this weekend I'll try again,
I'll tell you what's up :\

Hey hold on....

if it is not working, why did you decide to try again????

so whatever we are telling you, it is getting to you....

go out and socialise!!!!!!!!!! make friends..... girls will eventually come...

 

[Thickandthin]

We're all talking to the air , it isn't helping.

Guess this weekend I'll try again,
I'll tell you what's up :\

I think you are going about this the wrong way.....

You have no experience with women, and yet you are trying to pick them up at clubs/bars? That's a horrible idea man.

In those environments, people who are looking to hook up are usually dressed well and extremely confident - guys and girls alike. It's a very tough environment to thrive in when it comes to attracting someone - think of it as a real world example of natural selection in humans. The only times I've ever been successful in attracting a chick in a bar is if she's already with my group of friends and I have an easy in to start a convo. Going up to a random girl in a club is very daunting and very easy to mess up/make a fool of yourself. That's why there's a whole community based on helping guys get better at it - the seduction community. You need loads of confidence and experience to be successful at it, and even being confident+good looking isn't a guarantee you'll get laid every time. And since you are so lacking in experience and confidence, no wonder you are crashing and burning every time. You're probably a deer in headlights out there and women can sense that from a mile away (even the drunk ones).

You've got a lot of things working against you in general when it comes to women, but ESPECIALLY so in a nightclub environment. So I suggest you look elsewhere. Forget the advice about chatting up girls in public places. Again - that stuff requires confidence that you simply don't have at this point. Look for girls in your class, job, through your friends, whatever. Join some random club if you have to.

Seriously - ever girl I've ever been romantically involved with I've met through school, work, or friends. That's how it happens. Stop looking for girls in bars - you're setting yourself up for failure.

And don't count out the average looking chicks.....they are your best bet right now.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I think you are saying we are all wasting our breath. Well probably, but there maybe another poster out there going thru the same thing as yourself. Maybe at least we might have helped them. I wish I had the internet when I was growing up. You guys are so lucky you can come on here and get free advice and everyone seems to be "on your side". I wish growing up, I had friends like s.a.f, Cassin, ali, Obsidian, Uncomfortable Man, and the rest of the nice people on here. I would have definitely had a better childhood and would have had better confidence and higher self esteem. Instead I had jealous friends and a brother that enjoyed "stabbing me in the back" for no reason just because I was a good looking smart athletic looking kid with great hair. However, all that negativity made me believe I am worthless and unattractive hence I developed BDD.

 

[ali777]

You have no experience with women, and yet you are trying to pick them up at clubs/bars? That's a horrible idea man.

In those environments, people who are looking to hook up are usually dressed well and extremely confident - guys and girls alike. It's a very tough environment to thrive in when it comes to attracting someone - think of it as a real world example of natural selection in humans. The only times I've ever been successful in attracting a chick in a bar is if she's already with my group of friends and I have an easy in to start a convo.

I'll go with that as well.... I used to be a hardcore clubber back in the days, but I don't think I pulled anyone in a club setting until I was 21 (I was offered sex by a 40yo, but that's different). That's 3 years of clubbing without a single hit. There was lots of snogging and touching, but no sex. After that I became good at it for awhile.

The way I see it, to get laid you have to earn the trust of a woman... Establishing the trust is very important. That's why the chances of going home with a complete stranger are low, close to zero. It's very simple, she doesn't know you and she doesn't trust you. If she hasn't seen you before, and you aren't a sweet talker, forget it....

If you join a club, or get to know lots of people, the things are very different. When you go out, you meet familiar faces and start talking to women, and things happen naturally.... If you have large group of friends, you won't have to try hard to get laid.... Eventually there will be a girl that is looking to hook up and you'll be there available...

 

[iwantperfection]

i disagree. Snogs lead to numbers which lead to sex or maybe a rship. When i was 20 i had a bad split. I started to club alot. I slept with 9 women in about 6months all got from clubs. All students, all fit. My female friends started saying i was acting wrong and i stoped. Still kept the kisses going but cut out the playa stuff. Clubs and pubs .. its where its at. student nights. r u a student gboy?

 

[ali777]

i disagree. Snogs lead to numbers which lead to sex or maybe a rship. When i was 20 i had a bad split. I started to club alot. I slept with 9 women in about 6months all got from clubs. All students, all fit. My female friends started saying i was acting wrong and i stoped. Still kept the kisses going but cut out the playa stuff. Clubs and pubs .. its where its at. student nights. r u a student gboy?

OK.. let me explain...... All the women I've slept with have been students as well (I didn't do 2 degrees, but I went to grad school)... You go to a student club, or student bar or whatever and you are already on a common ground. You may not know the person but she might have seen you around campus, you may have common friends, or something and things are very different.... You have lots of things in common.

Now, imagine going out to a big night club in central London, where you have no common ground with the women. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's a different playing field. You might meet someone that likes you, and you exchange numbers, etc.. But the chances of sex the first night are slim... Even slimmer for an "average" looking bloke with no confidence....

PS: I agree a snog leads to a phone number, etc... If they didn't want to sleep the first night, I couldn't be bothered to make an effort... I'm very lazy in my approach to women... I think I'm scared of rejection :whistle:

 

[iwantperfection]

im still doing my second one but i have a gf. lol.oj.

Your right. prob wud be harder but same concepts apply. I have the confidence/arrogance i could pull anyone. anywhere, anytime. lol. Confidence is something i have too much of. gboy needs to put his selfish arrogant head on and believe. Girls dont like saps.

 

[zackmcqueen]

'Girls dont like saps.'

Damn right. Contrary to what films like transformers might have you believe, it's not the bumbling wuss who falls off his bike that gets the fit girls...it's the steve stiflers. Or the rich and well-hung.

 

[Smooth]

I think we confuse him, causing more stress on hes side, he needs a gf to f*** around abit, but lack of confidence is an issue when you approach her the first time, youcan go out with one friend, someone you can trust and who is good with the ladies, doesnt really matter where, school, bars, pubs, the bus station the mall.. just go out, pick a few numbers and from there its very natural and easy, once you get good conversation going the f*****g will soon to come... it is THAT simple.
from personal exprience, when meeting the first time, the first converstations dont start very well, but it shifts rapidly after few sconds (or minutes) just keep it going, be "light" and when you got a good converstation going for you, your confidance go up fast.

 

[Gboy2k8]

I think we confuse him

say that again.

 

[ali777]

I think we confuse him

say that again.

Bro, the details don't matter... What everyone is saying is that you need to get out and the chances will come....

Go out and make some friends. You'll meet someone through your circle of friends, you'll get invited to parties, bars, clubs, etc....

If you don't know how to make friends, join a club or something and get talking to people.

 

[iwantperfection]

gboy one day....

[youtube:1ke3pxj8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOifaUXPk4g[/youtube:1ke3pxj8]

 

[uncomfortable man]

Watch yourself folks, Cassin's getting lock happy.

 

[Quantum Cat]

i disagree. Snogs lead to numbers which lead to sex or maybe a rship. When i was 20 i had a bad split. I started to club alot. I slept with 9 women in about 6months all got from clubs. All students, all fit. My female friends started saying i was acting wrong and i stoped. Still kept the kisses going but cut out the playa stuff. Clubs and pubs .. its where its at. student nights. r u a student gboy?

I regret not having your experience as a student now. I did a lot of clubbing as an undergraduate - had a lot of fun with friends but never got with women, out of choice really. Partly I was looking for a relationship rather than just sleeping with them. I also lacked confidence if there was a girl I fancied but was fine talking with people I didn't fancy... grrr...frustrating - why is it always like that? :thumbdown2:

 

[iwantperfection]

aw man u shuda went for it.but i know exactly where you were coming from.

btw..i enjoy your posts.. you keep it real like myself and say what you think. nice one

 

[Gboy2k8]

Well, no luck this weekend.
Just went to visit a friend about an hour ago and got a bad comment about my hair.
It's funny how it can destroy entirely my whole confidence in a moment.

Plus I think I'm shedding, dunno.

 

[ali777]

Well, no luck this weekend.
Just went to visit a friend about an hour ago and got a bad comment about my hair.
It's funny how it can destroy entirely my whole confidence in a moment.

This is the biggest mistake you can make. Going out once doesn't guarantee you a girl. You have to hang in there for a long time until something comes along.

As I said, the easiest way of getting a girl is through becoming social. You meet people, then their friends, etc... One day something will come along.

It takes a major effort to get to that point... Now don't be lazy and live your life. Make sure you meet people regularly and that you socialise with them. Don't go into hiding because your hair doesn't look perfect.

I get shy only when I talk to someone I fancy a lot, normally I don't have a problem with talking to women but I don't go out much and I don't put myself in positions where I can get a girlfriend. I have a few regular female friends, they are a great bunch to be around and if I'm likely to get laid, it is going to be through them or with them.... You need friends...

 

[uncomfortable man]

Hey Ali, did you get your quote from the Maury Povich show? lol!

 

[Smooth]

Gb, you hair is one thing, not getting laid is another, there is no- onceover- corelation between the two, only the one you make in your head! snap out of it, maybe you shouldnt start with the bimbos at the bars and clubs, just ignore those for a while, focus on finding a nice girl, someone form work/school/firend circle, i dont think i say something that hadnt been said already, just make the seperation between hairloss and not getting laid ( im nw4 and i f***.. kinda alot recently :dunno: , and i m ugly as f***... trust me on this one, it's all in your mind bro')