life is over :[

[treeshrew]

saw some real sweet b****s

love them sweet b****s! eh.. whatever...

when you are attractive you get positive reinforcement in everything you do, and therefore it is easy to be confident. as you slide down the scale of attractiveness, this is not the case. often people are colder to you, don't make as much of an effort to get to know you, ignore you, etc. and it becomes more difficult to act confident.

i know we're about to have this discussion for the zillionth time on this damn forum, but i still do not agree that "hair doesn't matter, just be confident".

would you hook up with a fat chick that was confident? c'mon.

oh, and GBOY2K, where do you get the money to go snowboarding for 4 months in New Zealand? Can I come?

 

[Nichiyoubi]

I'm very confident with everybody, my job demands I interact and lead people, like I say its one thing to go speak/dance/charm a women but another for them to find you attractive.

...Confidence wont get you women, be it a drunken stranger or the girl of your dreams, the good ones want the same things as us and sadly with no hair I dont make the grade.

My experience is different. Once I figured out that I was punishing myself emotionally over my hair loss I decided right then and there that I was going to be who I am - hair or not. That step affected my self confidence in a huge way. Thereafter I dated more and better looking women than in years past.

Don't tell yourself you "don't make the grade with the good ones because of hair loss. It's not true my friend. I once knew a girl who was drop dead gorgeous and very nice too. She was going out with this guy who was bald and eventually married him. Ultimately they ended up splitting up and she was dating again. Her new boyfriend: bald dude.

If what you say is correct then bald guys would never have a chance. But actually their chances are equal to guys with hair. I know a lot of bald dudes who are married to very fine women. Happens all the time.

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. That's why most women look beyond a man's hair line and barely factor that in to their decisions about who to date. It's also why men are such harsh critics of their own appearance.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

Well done if thats true, sadly I'm in the same position as 99% of the forum, hairloss makes me uglier. Theres isnt a confidence or identity issue, 'being yourself' doesnt make you an 8/10 with women, I used to be with hair.

I can still go out and get laid if need be, I proved that to myself over the past month, just had to settle for munters

 

[Smooth]

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. That's why most women look beyond a man's hair line and barely factor that in to their decisions about who to date.

Oh boy oh boy, i wish i had a warp machine i could "slide" to the alternate universe you live at.... :whistle:

 

[GeminiX]

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. That's why most women look beyond a man's hair line and barely factor that in to their decisions about who to date.

Oh boy oh boy, i wish i had a warp machine i could "slide" to the alternate universe you live at.... :whistle:

Nichiyoubi is correct, unless you're only considering much younger women, i.e. girls.

So many guys seem to think that you need to have good enough looks to get your own page in a calendar to pick up dates, but it's *all* about attitude. I proved this over and over again to myself, personally, and you won't find many people less likely to appear on a calendar than me (well, maybe one of those weird "special interest" calendars, but they don't count).

Why this conversation always goes around and around is baffling. Some people are just so comfortable in what they perceive to be the cause of their misery; they don't want to do anything to fix it. I'm pretty sure that's the time one should be seeking medical advice about depression.

edit: spelling / typos

 

[Nichiyoubi]

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. That's why most women look beyond a man's hair line and barely factor that in to their decisions about who to date.

Oh boy oh boy, i wish i had a warp machine i could "slide" to the alternate universe you live at.... :whistle:

Smooth, c'mon over buddy!

Belief systems govern behavior. If people believe that baldness is something to be loathed, as a lot of bald gentlemen do (not saying you in particular) then that belief will manifest itself in negativity. And guess what really turns people off? People with negative attitudes.

One should ask the question "am I a joy to be around?" The answer need not get posted in a forum, one should answer it honestly for themselves. If the honest answer is "well, not really" then one has hit the nail on the head.

If the hair loss is making a person less of a joy to be around, then what's the answer? The answer is "DO NOT LET IT!" Easier said than done? Maybe. But the same could be said for a lot of things in life. Everyone holds the key in their own hands, in their own minds.

Maybe a warp drive has slipped me through a wormhole into an alternate universe. If so, I can say this place it totally awesome!

 

[superfrankie]

saw some real sweet b****s

when you are attractive you get positive reinforcement in everything you do, and therefore it is easy to be confident. as you slide down the scale of attractiveness, this is not the case. often people are colder to you, don't make as much of an effort to get to know you, ignore you, etc. and it becomes more difficult to act confident.

i know we're about to have this discussion for the zillionth time on this damn forum, but i still do not agree that "hair doesn't matter, just be confident".

would you hook up with a fat chick that was confident? c'mon.

I fully agree on that. It becomes easier when you get positive reinforcement from people all the time due to your handsomeness whitout you having to do nothing to get it. Thats the reason why good looking people are the ones who seem to be happiest and most confident in the first place!!! Youre confident for a reason - cause you get confirmation all the time from other people that youre good enough. Ofc you can get confidence in other ways but it becomes 1000 much easier if that way.

No, I wouldnt hook up with her. Not under any circumstances.In fact, I would never want to get to know a girl I didnt feel some kind of attraction for in the beginning. I think Im talking for 100 % of all guys. If a girl cant please us physically right away (there is at least something we must be attracted to,c`mon) the game is over for here in that instant whereas that is not the exact same case with a guy since that is more likely to change over time. (how interesting we are as humans, how funny we are, confident etc). Its hard to change her perception ofc, but its much more likely to happen for a girl than a boy.

 

[superfrankie]

I'm very confident with everybody, my job demands I interact and lead people, like I say its one thing to go speak/dance/charm a women but another for them to find you attractive.

...Confidence wont get you women, be it a drunken stranger or the girl of your dreams, the good ones want the same things as us and sadly with no hair I dont make the grade.

My experience is different. Once I figured out that I was punishing myself emotionally over my hair loss I decided right then and there that I was going to be who I am - hair or not. That step affected my self confidence in a huge way. Thereafter I dated more and better looking women than in years past.

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. .

I love your input. It has really helped me to get to the bottom of and understand my self-punishment. Im on my way to something great. I love to come in here read your uplifting posts. There is so much sorrow around here its easy to forget that positivism also exist.

That is a fact, YES. (i.e. that men are for more visual on that subject) When we put a woman inside of our "friend-zone" there is nothing she can do to get herself out of there.

 

[BrightonBaldy]

SF, you have that the wrong way round, its guys who cant ever get out of the friendzone. that is universally accepted by men everywhere who have been there (bald or not bald)

 

[uncomfortable man]

Maybe a warp drive has slipped me through a wormhole into an alternate universe. If so, I can say this place it totally awesome!

http://www.slybaldguys.com/

 

[Nichiyoubi]

My experience is different. Once I figured out that I was punishing myself emotionally over my hair loss I decided right then and there that I was going to be who I am - hair or not. That step affected my self confidence in a huge way. Thereafter I dated more and better looking women than in years past.

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. .

I love your input. It has really helped me to get to the bottom of and understand my self-punishment. Im on my way to something great. I love to come in here read your uplifting posts. There is so much sorrow around here its easy to forget that positivism also exist.

That is a fact, YES. (i.e. that men are for more visual on that subject) When we put a woman inside of our "friend-zone" there is nothing she can do to get herself out of there.

Superfrankie if anything I have written helped you in any way I am so happy to hear it.

Speaking of happiness, some years ago I discovered a gentleman named Dennis Prager who has taught me a lot about what it means to be happy. He is not the typical over-the-top gimmicky "it's too good to be true" type of guy. He is a realist, and uses simple language and great examples to make his point.

If you can spare 5 minutes I recommend you check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQqJvfh9irs

It's not mentioned in this video, but he developed something called "The Missing Tile Syndrome." Let's say you are looking at an otherwise beautifully tiled ceiling in a historic building, but one of the tiles is missing. Humans tend to fixate on the flaw and even assign it more importance than the overall picture.

Dennis has said that for men our hair often becomes "the missing tile." For women it may be their body shape or weight. Everyone has missing tiles, even wildly successful people like Elvis Presley - the very person being held as an example of "hair perfect for stardom" on a different thread. Elvis sadly became the victim of some of his own "missing tiles."

Let's focus on what's right, not what isn't. Keep the faith bro!

 

[superfrankie]

My experience is different. Once I figured out that I was punishing myself emotionally over my hair loss I decided right then and there that I was going to be who I am - hair or not. That step affected my self confidence in a huge way. Thereafter I dated more and better looking women than in years past.

There is a fundamental difference between males and females. Men are far more visual when it comes to judging attractiveness than women are. .

I love your input. It has really helped me to get to the bottom of and understand my self-punishment. Im on my way to something great. I love to come in here read your uplifting posts. There is so much sorrow around here its easy to forget that positivism also exist.

That is a fact, YES. (i.e. that men are for more visual on that subject) When we put a woman inside of our "friend-zone" there is nothing she can do to get herself out of there.

Superfrankie if anything I have written helped you in any way I am so happy to hear it.

Speaking of happiness, some years ago I discovered a gentleman named Dennis Prager who has taught me a lot about what it means to be happy. He is not the typical over-the-top gimmicky "it's too good to be true" type of guy. He is a realist, and uses simple language and great examples to make his point.

If you can spare 5 minutes I recommend you check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQqJvfh9irs

It's not mentioned in this video, but he developed something called "The Missing Tile Syndrome." Let's say you are looking at an otherwise beautifully tiled ceiling in a historic building, but one of the tiles is missing. Humans tend to fixate on the flaw and even assign it more importance than the overall picture.

Dennis has said that for men our hair often becomes "the missing tile." For women it may be their body shape or weight. Everyone has missing tiles, even wildly successful people like Elvis Presley - the very person being held as an example of "hair perfect for stardom" on a different thread. Elvis sadly became the victim of some of his own "missing tiles."

Let's focus on what's right, not what isn't. Keep the faith bro!

Youre very wise. I hope as many guys as possible read your posts.

I checked him out and he really has something to offer me. As you said: he feels real - a realist, not some kind of hypocrite. He has some real interesting views on different subjects. Very much appeciated!

 

[superfrankie]

I love your input. It has really helped me to get to the bottom of and understand my self-punishment. Im on my way to something great. I love to come in here read your uplifting posts. There is so much sorrow around here its easy to forget that positivism also exist. [quote:1mt4tbzd]

You hit the nail on the head when you talked about "Your self punishment". It makes no sense to punish yourself, particularly when you haven't done anything wrong!

We 'talked' a lot before New Year and I was wondering what you are doing differently to shape your life in 2010. You said you were going to get involved in a number of new things to start feeling much better about yourself and not always seeing everything from a hair loss perspective.

As I said, let people see the 'person', particularly if that person is has a particular expertise. Let's face it, if you were consulting a doctor or a lawyer, because you had a problem, you would be really interested in the guy's expertise and wouldn't notice whether he had any hair or not![/quote:1mt4tbzd]


I have decided that this year is going to be the year I master the skill of producing trance, to be specific uplifting trance. Its a vision and a dream Ive had for a few years now. And Ive decided make my dreams come true this year, cause when is it a better time than right now to start acting and aim towards the stars? That time will never come and as long as dont realize that my head will always make up things that prevents me from starting. There is not a better time to start than today!

so I sold my PS3 and bought a midi keyboard together with some dj-software books on how to master my specific music production software (ableton suite) along with a few other things. Im not in for a being a novice. I want to creat high quality stuff. Realistically its gonna take a long time before I reached that stage. Maybe 6-12 months. But that is the challenge and Im welcoming it more than ever. When Ive decided to put energy on something I do it whole-heartedly, not by halves.

...and Ive decided to start playing soccer again. Finally Im not just having a vision in my head. Ive decided to act out that vision practically. For the first time in a long time I mean business. And I feel so much happier for myself to have been able to put thoughts into action and also begin this year in a very optmistic way.

 

[GeminiX]

@SuperFrankie: Brilliant

 

[superfrankie]

Maybe a warp drive has slipped me through a wormhole into an alternate universe. If so, I can say this place it totally awesome!

http://www.slybaldguys.com/

hahaha, I love you for it UM XD

slybaldsguys, f*** them! They act like hair loss is some kind of godsend from above. If they could become a little bit more realistic about the situation they gain some respect. Talk about live in a reality full of denial. Its tougher to get over your hair loss than hearing "every guy fits the sly look, welcome to the bald brotherhood brother"

I was banned from there when I tried to be more realistic in my opinion. Maybe they felt I was some kind of threat to them, that could cause them to vanish from their world of denial and face reality. If your not over-optmistic in there they ban you. I mean, c`mon. wankers :gay:

 

[s.a.f]

slybaldsguys, f*ck them! They act like hair loss is some kind of godsend from above. If they could become a little bit more realistic about the situation they gain some respect. Talk about live in a reality full of denial. Its tougher to get over your hair loss than hearing "every guy fits the sly look, welcome to the bald brotherhood brother"

I was banned from there when I tried to be more realistic in my opinion. Maybe they felt I was some kind of threat to them, that could cause them to vanish from their world of denial and face reality. If your not over-optmistic in there they ban you. I mean, c`mon. wankers :gay:

I agree they act like anyone who even slightly dislikes going bald has serious issues. I think its them who's in denial. :jackit:

 

[GeminiX]

As I'm sure I've said a few times already, the approach I take to the challenges life throws at me is thus:

Challenge:
Can I change it or do anything about it?

Answer:
Yes - In which case, make a plan and deal with it / fix it / buy a new one etc.

- or -

Answer:
No - In which case, stop worrying about it and just focus on achieving the things I can do something about.

Sure, I think it would be nice to be size 10, or win the lottery, or have the looks of a runway model etc, but there is really nothing I can do to achieve any of that. I just file those things away for the day a genie shows up while I'm helping mum clean the silverware.

 

[superfrankie]

slybaldsguys, f*ck them! They act like hair loss is some kind of godsend from above. If they could become a little bit more realistic about the situation they gain some respect. Talk about live in a reality full of denial. Its tougher to get over your hair loss than hearing "every guy fits the sly look, welcome to the bald brotherhood brother"

I was banned from there when I tried to be more realistic in my opinion. Maybe they felt I was some kind of threat to them, that could cause them to vanish from their world of denial and face reality. If your not over-optmistic in there they ban you. I mean, c`mon. wankers :gay:

I agree they act like anyone who even slightly dislikes going bald has serious issues. I think its them who's in denial. :jackit:

That`s what I like about this place. Its much more authentic decribing people affected by their hair loss and the challenges it comes with it.

 

[Smooth]

Challenge:
Can I change it or do anything about it?

Answer:
Yes - In which case, make a plan and deal with it / fix it / buy a new one etc.

- or -

Answer:
No - In which case, stop worrying about it and just focus on achieving the things I can do something about.

in which case, what are you doing here?.. :dunno:
(not that i want you to leave or anything, just to make a point, by your logic you should either already beaten hair loss or you just dont give a f***...)

 

[superfrankie]

learning is behaviour change. You havent learned if it hasnt changed your behaviour for the better. Until then, words are just words.