Making the perfect the enemy of the good

templerecess

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I want more positivity on this board.

Guys, I'm 25. I, like you, am dealing with the struggle. I'm in the age range where promiscuity, dating, relationships, and maybe even marriage are coming at a guy so quickly he doesn't know what to do. And I'm balding. Now I've combed through, no pun intended, countless threads before and after joining GourmetStyleWellness. We all know the depression, self-doubt, and anger about our hair loss is mostly driven by our biological imperative. (Find women and make them yours, whatever that means for you, however priapic or romantic.)

The obvious truth, that I'm sure you all know yet are repressing, is that hair is a FACTOR in physical attractiveness. (And we need not even start on other nonphysical forms of attractiveness.) Your emotional attachment to a luscious mane inhibits your rational mind from 1) accepting that baldness does not an ugly man make 2) adapting your attractiveness 3) being indifferent at worst and content at best with your new look.

Extremely short hair or a shaved head looks EXCEPTIONAL on a man with a very angular face and pronounced features. It enhances and highlights handsome facial aesthetics. There are some bald men that are far more attractive than NW1s. The key is physical fitness and healthy skin. These things you can control. Cardio and a top notch, Patrick Bateman-esque skin care routine.

It's depressing to see men (usually the guys under 23) who will retort with "b-b-but no matter how handsome I get I'd still look better with all my hair." So what? The perfect should not be the enemy of the good. I'll rephrase. Use a 1-10 attractiveness rating scale, but in a relative sense. A 10 is you at your absolute most attractive, and a 1 is at your least. (Don't consider yourself in absolute terms compared to other guys). There are 3 possibilities. A) You actually would look better bald than with a full mane, then GREAT. B) You would absolutely look your best with a full head of hair C) You would look your best with hair, but your personality is such that this "crisis" of baldness has spurned you to a level of dedication to your looks that you could have only achieved with the impetus of this baldness. So effectively, being bald has made you your most attractive on a cost/benefit analysis.

I will finish by saying, more of you than you think fall into group A. While a majority fall into group B, a great segment of us fall into group C. If you are in group A or C, please, be more positive, because 99% of the doom and gloom on GourmetStyleWellness don't apply to you. If you're in group B, you are the reason I'm posting this. If you're 10 is with all your hair, and you were meticulous with your looks before, what good is it to get depressed because now your looks will forevermore be a 9/10? A NW3.5 Jack Nicholson in The Departed said, and I paraphrase: "a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think 'what could I use you for?'"

zidane.jpg
 

resu

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He had one of those sub-human negative hairlines, the ones that some people on hair loss forums crave. He has the look that the SMP people wished they had so that alone makes him out of the ordinary. These guys are always exceptions, the reason we're all here is because baldness really doesn't suit us.
 

templerecess

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He had one of those sub-human negative hairlines, the ones that some people on hair loss forums crave. He has the look that the SMP people wished they had so that alone makes him out of the ordinary. These guys are always exceptions, the reason we're all here is because baldness really doesn't suit us.

The point is make the best of it. Baldness smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back.
 

bald29

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Actually, baldness smiles at 20% of men before the age of 40.

:D :D :D

Baldness before 30 makes you a freak in almost all cases. I experienced it first hand, and now with hair improving with medication and toppik I get a lot of female attention, even though I'm exactly the same person I was when I was a bald loser --in fact, maybe I'm even worse now, because I'm a couple years older--.

Another important point: last year as a baldie people always thought I was way in my 30s, with some people not even believing me when I said I was 28. A couple of girls once argued with me because they thought I was in my late 30s. Today, almost 30, with more hair, and people I meet all get surprised when I say I'm 29, they say they thought I was 25.

In other words, with hair I look 10 years younger, and that is consistent with data you may see around.

Does looking 10 years younger and more attractive give you a better quality of life? That's the question you should ask yourself. People here are negative because they were stolen those 10 years, in the best time of their lives. And trust me, this is not something to celebrate.
 

viet nom nom

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Hands down the best thread I've ever read on this site. Too bad you posted it in DebbieDownerVille.

Many of you would do well to at least open your mind to the fact that you are letting an idealized version of yourselves get in the way of doing your best with what you have....Whatever, down vote me, that doesn't change anything.

True story, hottest girl I know...been knowing her for a while, but never met her boyfriend. You know, cause who cares? Anyway, I figured this guy would have to be fully put together to snag a chick like this. Bumped into them the other day. Dude is sporting a bald spot. Maybe, just maybe, its not all about hair.
 

hellouser

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Hands down the best thread I've ever read on this site. Too bad you posted it in DebbieDownerVille.

Many of you would do well to at least open your mind to the fact that you are letting an idealized version of yourselves get in the way of doing your best with what you have....Whatever, down vote me, that doesn't change anything.

True story, hottest girl I know...been knowing her for a while, but never met her boyfriend. You know, cause who cares? Anyway, I figured this guy would have to be fully put together to snag a chick like this. Bumped into them the other day. Dude is sporting a bald spot. Maybe, just maybe, its not all about hair.

Maybe, just maybe, there's always an exception to the rule. 1 out or 1,000 doesn't really change the sh*tty situation we're in.
 

massa

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A bald spot, you mean at the back of the head while still having a full frame of his face? This doesn't mean anything. Make that guy full NW4+ and she's gone.

Also, what Norwood are you viet nom nom?


Yeah when you lose your hairline that's it, It puts your entire face out of proportion and turns your world upside down. Id much prefer Zidanes Pattern than say Jude Laws. He used to be handsome but now no-one says that about him. If he was nw1 girls would swoon still just like they do to other nw1s like gosling, efron etc. But sadly frontal loss ages you a few decades...sucks
 

bald29

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Hands down the best thread I've ever read on this site. Too bad you posted it in DebbieDownerVille.

Many of you would do well to at least open your mind to the fact that you are letting an idealized version of yourselves get in the way of doing your best with what you have....Whatever, down vote me, that doesn't change anything.

True story, hottest girl I know...been knowing her for a while, but never met her boyfriend. You know, cause who cares? Anyway, I figured this guy would have to be fully put together to snag a chick like this. Bumped into them the other day. Dude is sporting a bald spot. Maybe, just maybe, its not all about hair.

I can bet whatever you want that he wasn't "sporting a bald spot" when they met.
 

CaptainForehead

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Zidane looks great because he has a visible hair line. 99% of hair loss sufferers cannot achieve that look because their framing of the face is gone. /thread
I'll disagree with you. He looks great, and would look great with NW6 pattern shaved because he has the alpha facial features for it. Look at his eyebrows, the pronounced cheekbones, the elongated face. All extremely well suited for the bald look.

The ones who are really hit by hairloss are ones who do not have alpha testosterone features.
 

Exodus2011

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I'll disagree with you. He looks great, and would look great with NW6 pattern shaved because he has the alpha facial features for it. Look at his eyebrows, the pronounced cheekbones, the elongated face. All extremely well suited for the bald look.

The ones who are really hit by hairloss are ones who do not have alpha testosterone features.
he has a 9/10 face. baldness or not he is very attractive. same goes for all these "sexy bald men" women tick off when asked about baldness. guys like sean connery, yul brynner and kelly slater. more specifically a manly and robust kind of attractiveness

the "cute" kind of face that signals "good provider" to women is hurt a lot more by baldness. if justin bieber, pete wentz, or andrew garfield lost their hair they would go down a lot more than the manly jocks like vin diesel.

however to the OP he still has a valid point. the idealized version of ourselves (well pretty much normal since its so rare to go bald before 25) keeps us from improving and no matter what being depressed about baldness will only make it worse.

there's a rationale to becoming a loser from baldness but also to compensating for baldness, which is what the OP seems to be recommending. either way, you have gone down and can never be the person you once were. THAT is the truly depressing fact about male pattern hair loss

because even if you compensated for baldness at the end of the day you would still be better with hair. although i guess the argument could be made that without baldness you would never have gotten the motivation to achieve
 
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uncomfortable man

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What does the title of this thread even mean anyway. There is nothing good about being bald, period.
It's like the other day I saw a young mother with her four yezr old son... she looked at my head then looked down at her son with that worried look on her face, thinking god I hope my little guy doesn't grow up to look like him. Good times, right?

- - - Updated - - -

The point is make the best of it. Baldness smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back.
The only smiles you get as a bald man are from smug a-holes who like to rub your nose in it or women just blatantly laughing at you because you look pathetic to them. Please ride your positivity rainbow the hell out of here. This is not the place for you.
 

Exodus2011

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just look at his name, "temple recess"

he is only a receder, of course he is gonna be more positive
 

uncomfortable man

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How could I have missed that? Explains alot. Some folks are really full of it here.
 

Exodus2011

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i bet you thought that of me until i proved my baldie mojo on my "tell your story" thread eh?
 

templerecess

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just look at his name, "temple recess"

he is only a receder, of course he is gonna be more positive

Judging by a lot of the posts in this sub-forum, many of you were probably on DEFCON 1 panic mode when you noticed temple recession and a lot of shedding in the shower. I'm actually quite content. If NW7 is where my fate truly lies, I hope it happens quickly and not in a drawn out fashion. Sure I'm on my regimen, in hopes I'll keep my NW2, but should it be ineffective, so what. I will enjoy becoming a new person.

The women I've been with in my life, to this point, have never commented on my hair being great or attractive. And that's when I was a NW1. I regularly would keep my hair on the longer side, and most women did not like it. One ex-girlfriend would constantly ask me to cut it (she said it hid my face). When I would have a fashionable, short haircut, no one would care. Maybe the novelty of it excited girls on the first day, but that faded instantly. In my experience, women do not value hair nearly as much as you think they do. The ONLY exception is when it looks fantastic, which is 99% of the time on celebrities who have teams putting in a lot of work on their hair. We will never have access to that luxury, so even if you had thick hair, you probably wouldn't have godly hair.

GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEADS: The girls (or guys) you can't get without hair?? You couldn't get them with hair either. I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just being realistic. I'll go even further in my assertion: with a shaved head, an improved physique, a better wardrobe, and a better skin/dental care routine, there are one or two of those girls who rejected you with hair that would think twice if they saw you now.
 

Primo

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Judging by a lot of the posts in this sub-forum, many of you were probably on DEFCON 1 panic mode when you noticed temple recession and a lot of shedding in the shower. I'm actually quite content. If NW7 is where my fate truly lies, I hope it happens quickly??? and not in a drawn out fashion. Sure I'm on my regimen, in hopes I'll keep my NW2??? but should it be ineffective, so what. I will enjoy becoming a new person.

The women I've been with in my life, to this point, have never commented on my hair being great or attractive. And that's when I was a NW1. I regularly would keep my hair on the longer syide, and most women did not like it. One ex-girlfriend would constantly ask me to cut it (she said it hid my face). When I would have a fashionable, short haircut, no one would care. Maybe the novelty of it excited girls on the first day, but that faded instantly. In my experience, women do not value hair nearly as much as you think they do. The ONLY exception is when it looks fantastic, which is 99% of the time on celebrities who have teams putting in a lot of work on their hair. We will never have access to that luxury, so even if you had thick hair, you probably wouldn't have godly hair.

tumblr_lx9jb1SPMr1qdrpdr.gif



GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEADS: The girls (or guys) you can't get without hair?? You couldn't get them with hair either. I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just being realistic. I'll go even further in my assertion: with a shaved head, an improved physique, a better wardrobe, and a better skin/dental care routine, there are one or two of those girls who rejected you with hair that would think twice if they saw you now.

funny-gif-Jim-Carrey-laughing1.gif
 

templerecess

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You'll sing a different tune once you reach the deaded NW5. Don't wish for things like that, for guys who have been there like me or Exodus, you don't know what you have no idea of what you're wishing.

Sure, an improved physique, a muscular body, if he's a millionaire, has a high status, if he's a celebrity. This list could go on indefinitely. You've just fallen into the first trap newbies with minor recession usually fall in when they enter the world of hair loss. If hair loss is not a big deal, if women don't mind it, then why do we have to do all those things to compensate for our baldness, while a NW1 can just be a jobless slob and reap all the rewards?

I'm under no illusions. NW5 will be a new stage of life for me. Whether it happens by 30 or into my 30s, it will be a huge change. But so will be getting older. So will be getting wrinkles. So will be having aches and pains and losing cm of height. I also understand that self-improvement is a compensation for hair loss and general aging. However, on aggregate, I believe the self-improvement + baldness can create an even better "me." That is the goal anyway.

I suppose the knowledge of impending death also makes you melancholy? That you won't live to see life in 2114 makes you horribly depressed? I just make the best of it. I accept it and try to enjoy it.
 

uncomfortable man

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What makes us meloncholy is being subjected to a lesser life through no fault of our own and with little to No means of recourse or reconsiliation.
 
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