Confidence And Charisma More Important Than Hair?

[SBAmerican]

And let me just take a wild guess (sarcastic), these 2 friends both had full heads of hair. It's really so unbelievable how fullheads do not even understand the true importance of looks, particularly because their looks were never compromised. Like my 80s rock boys Cinderella sing "you don't know what you got til it's gone".

And to the OP, with all due respect........why did you invest the time and money to get a hair transplant and get on Propecia if you think that confidence and charisma are so important?

Having a full head of hair is extremely important. Believe me, I know this. I was a Norwood 4 for a good year and a half. I got the hair transplant because every time I looked in the mirror I hated what I saw. People treat you much differently especially women. People don't want to get to know you as much or at all, this includes guys as well. My dating life definitely took a major hit. You could have it all(height, build, green eyes, good jawline) but with no hair they just see you as a bald guy. However, even with hair, you still need to have good social skills and confidence especially in bars and clubs. You could be a great looking guy but if you have no confidence or social skills, you're not going to get very far. Basically, you need both looks and confidence. Sure, the better you look, the more confident you are perceived, but not every girl is going to be attracted to you. Just because you have hair and good looks, doesn't mean every girl is just going to fall in your lap. Most girls have a specific type of guy they go for so that's also at play. Hope that answers your question.

 

[hairblues]

Hairblues, I think career and income matters less to younger generations.

I know a late thirties woman who earns well over £60,000 per year who recently married a 29 year old newly qualified nurse. Money wasn't that important in her decision - they fell in love for other reasons beyond the amount of pennies he has.

I also do okay with women and I have very little cash but am good company and okay looking. A lot of women have told me they prefer intelligence though (and that often comes with money - although not so much with me as of yet!)

When i was 28 my BF lived with 2 friends in a house he was 31.
here is the catch i never wanted to get married or have kids.
i worked in an exciting profession i loved--still do and i did not care about marriage/kids.
if i cared about marriage kids i would have not gone out with him.
i would not have gone out with half the guys i did in my 20s
i had a weakness for actors, musicians, writers, dancers, athletes. i had this fetish for talent and creative intellect.

 

[tellersquill]

Hairblues, they are all good things. An artist (dancers, writers etc) will always be attractive on some level.

My theory is that it comes down to story telling, and when we think about it, all art is a form of story telling. A way of expressing our vision of the world in the way in which we see it. There is something tremendously sexy about it as it either shows us a mirror to ourselves, or it offers us a glimpse into something that we have never experienced.

Also, I'm with you on the not having kids. I'm still child free and it has allowed me to pursue things of far higher importance.

On a side note - the couple I mentioned have recently filed for divorce (though it wasn't money related) they'd only just had a child as well.

 

[hairblues]

Hairblues, they are all good things. An artist (dancers, writers etc) will always be attractive on some level.

My theory is that it comes down to story telling, and when we think about it, all art is a form of story telling. A way of expressing our vision of the world in the way in which we see it. There is something tremendously sexy about it as it either shows us a mirror to ourselves, or it offers us a glimpse into something that we have never experienced.

Also, I'm with you on the not having kids. I'm still child free and it has allowed me to pursue things of far higher importance.

On a side note - the couple I mentioned have recently filed for divorce (though it wasn't money related) they'd only just had a child as well.

hmm
well it makes me think of my sister who is very very very well paid with bonuses benefits her husband job always made about half her--she was madly in love with him..they had kids late into their marraige--it was slightly rough after first one--after second one--they hated one another.

She wanted to stay home and be with kids--she could not--he was able to work flexible hours he was able to spend more time with kids--she resented this greatly. He resented her telling him 'how' to do things in regards to kids..she felt entitled as the Mother..this would be fine but she was not the one able to be there as Mother--hes not a robot so he's not going to do exactly as she wants...so the resentments build
her two close friends who work in same industry as her they hit late 30s early 40s and both got married to men who were in same industry and few years older--very successful so the women both got to stay home and be moms and live cushy lives and raise their kids. this i know bothered her. She started comparing to Joneses so to speak.
Forget it they divorced and blood bath of a divorce because by this time they truly hated one another.

 

[resu]

I've talked about this phenomenon with the girls from dating websites I dated. Their usual complaint is that that besides me and a handful of guys, they hated the attention they were getting from all these ugly guys. This attention has no value to them.

Furthermore, after getting pumped and dumped a few times, they learn the harsh lesson about dating male models. Unless they are model material themselves, the guy will just use them for sex.

Online dating autoregulates in my opinion. It's the nature of the game that guys have to play the numbers game and that women get drowned in messages. But in the end, everyone ends up getting dates with people on their level looks-wise.

No way around it.

I'm not surprised that they would get offended, it's common for women to laugh and mock the guys that show interest in them, first thing they'll do is tell their female friends and they'll all laugh and try to humiliate the guy, usually there's the mean girl in the mix and they'll have a field day. Usually with guys they get flattered and that's about it, that high-school mentally sometimes it persists until their 30's, it can't be a coincidence that more and more women usually do the first step and approach the guy, they know they're safe.

 

[scorpiolove]

Don't take this offensively, I think we all have social issues to a degree.
Being too self absorbed can kill your sex life, if you don't take interest in the people around you,people will see you as offish towards them and most likely won't give you any play at all. Also, when you go to a bar, come in the bar a bit buzzed, it brings your fun factor up a bit, your tension is a big turnoff, fashion is another factor in dating, it shows your personal style, personal hygiene is a big plus, shower up before you go out, with some soap or shampoo, wash dat *** lol(seriously).. Try some good deoderants and body sprays, spray em on before you buy em, your personal body chemistry and sense of smell will tell you what smells good on you and what doesn't, my best friends body spray type is different from mine because we have different body chemistries, true story. Most important, make room for error and find yourself. your personal look(with or without hair) style and finess. Hope this helps.

 

[hairblues]

I've talked about this phenomenon with the girls from dating websites I dated. Their usual complaint is that that besides me and a handful of guys, they hated the attention they were getting from all these ugly guys. This attention has no value to them.

Furthermore, after getting pumped and dumped a few times, they learn the harsh lesson about dating male models. Unless they are model material themselves, the guy will just use them for sex.

Online dating autoregulates in my opinion. It's the nature of the game that guys have to play the numbers game and that women get drowned in messages. But in the end, everyone ends up getting dates with people on their level looks-wise.

No way around it.

But i thought the complaints has been that they can't get dates period not that they can't get dates with better looking women then themselves.

 

[SmoothSailing]

But i thought the complaints has been that they can't get dates period not that they can't get dates with better looking women then themselves.

The question is are they swiping right on ugly fat women? About one third of women are obese. So if you're a 3/10 or lower you should expect to get a woman who is obese. As weight is nearly the number one factor for lads.


And even these ugly fat women will be picky as they can still get sex quite easily. Yes they might be pissed of being used for sex so often, but whilst their young they will still feel they can get lads like that for a relationship.

If you're young and not having luck things do get a bit better when you get to 30.

 

[F2005]

Having a full head of hair is extremely important. Believe me, I know this. I was a Norwood 4 for a good year and a half. I got the hair transplant because every time I looked in the mirror I hated what I saw. People treat you much differently especially women. People don't want to get to know you as much or at all, this includes guys as well. My dating life definitely took a major hit. You could have it all(height, build, green eyes, good jawline) but with no hair they just see you as a bald guy. However, even with hair, you still need to have good social skills and confidence especially in bars and clubs. You could be a great looking guy but if you have no confidence or social skills, you're not going to get very far. Basically, you need both looks and confidence. Sure, the better you look, the more confident you are perceived, but not every girl is going to be attracted to you. Just because you have hair and good looks, doesn't mean every girl is just going to fall in your lap. Most girls have a specific type of guy they go for so that's also at play. Hope that answers your question.

Sure, confidence and charisma can be important to a certain degree, but it just does not even come remotely close to the importance of outer looks. I think that you know this since you said how hair loss had such a negative effect on your life and that is what prompted you to get an hair transplant. But attractive, good-looking people really have the world by the balls today and lots of times, they can do whatever the hell they want. I've seen attractive people blatantly cheat, lie, have serious mental conditions, say the stupidest things, and act completely crazy; yet they still always score attractive mates and are never lonely. Why?? It's all because of the extreme importance of being good-looking in today's society. I see this happen so many times, time and time again. Yet a confident, charismatic bald guy with subsequently eroded looks cannot even come close to getting away with all the aforementioned crazy sh*t that an attractive person can. He'd be dumped to the curb in a second, assuming that he was even lucky enough to get an girl attractive girl in the first place (which is extremely far from the norm).

 

[tellersquill]

I know so many good looking people who are really unhappy - sorry to burst the bubble that beauty equal happiness.

 

[tellersquill]

Fred, you do not truly believe that pretty people ought to be happy do you?

I cant tell if you are joking?

Loads of people have personal issues with their health, they have no family, no friends, they are poor, they may have general depression.

I have a good looking friend who is depressed right now because her best friend (aged 22) and her mum died of cancer this year. Should she be happy because she is pretty?

 

[Dench57]

They're not happy because they're morons.

People can have depression or anxiety disorders for things other than looks.

 

[SmoothSailing]

Yes.

Not everyone derives their whole life's worth based on their looks alone.


When you value things, other than your looks, you can be unhappy even if you're gorgeous, and you can be happy even if you're ugly.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Fred, you do not truly believe that pretty people ought to be happy do you?

I cant tell if you are joking?

Loads of people have personal issues with their health, they have no family, no friends, they are poor, they may have general depression.

I have a good looking friend who is depressed right now because her best friend (aged 22) and her mum died of cancer this year. Should she be happy because she is pretty?

Her sadness will fade, maybe it takes a week, maybe a year. Then she will be happy and pretty again.

 

[hairblues]

if someones mother dies she's not going to be happy because she's pretty--this would be a sociopathic narcissist.

 

[CopeForLife]

Not everyone derives their whole life's worth based on their looks alone.


When you value things, other than your looks, you can be unhappy even if you're gorgeous, and you can be happy even if you're ugly.

you cannot chose what do you value

you value thing or not

you like some people or not

your consciousness dictates it

for most of woman their consciousness dictates that baldness is deformity

for me my brain dictates me I DO NOT LIKE FAT GIRLS and I cannot change it

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

if someones mother dies she's not going to be happy because she's pretty--this would be a sociopathic narcissist.

Are you saying if your mother dies you will be depressed for the rest of your life? Most children outlive their parents you know. Of course it's sad but, life goes on.

 

[Dench57]

Are you saying if your mother dies you will be depressed for the rest of your life? Most children outlive their parents you know. Of course it's sad but, life goes on.

I think i'd be considerably fucked up for quite a while if both my mum and my best friend died.

 

[hairblues]

Are you saying if your mother dies you will be depressed for the rest of your life? Most children outlive their parents you know. Of course it's sad but, life goes on.

No of course not

that is not what was originally posted

and that was not what Freds original statement was addressing.

 

[hairblues]

Time heals all wounds.

Except hair loss, you'll just get balder, uglier and more depressed.

Not comparable.

not what was originally posted.

you can adjust it as you go along but that was not was originally posted.

it was not about a time line.

Duh! of course she will eventually snap out of it.