Great post, well thought-out.
I'll just address your last point, it seems we misunderstood each other.
When I say better, I'm not saying "better in bed" or "having a bigger c***".
I just mean better.
In this sense: if you add up all your valuable characteristics that matter when it comes to mating, like height, fitness, looks, intelligence, compatibility, personality, potential, status, bedroom performance (yeah let's throw that in here) etc. Are you better than all her lovers or not?
Every man (and woman) has a value that's externally determined (you can't just think 'I'm great' and bam, people see you as great).
You can place any human being on a hierarchy. Studies have shown that human beings can tell their own value or someone else's value at the drop of a hat, our amygdala sort of has a radar built into it to measure it.
That's also why when a woman snatches a high-value guy, all the inferior guys around her automatically cease to exist. Women can immediately tell you who was their best lover, and with no surprise, they'll often tell you that they still love him and that it will be hard for any man to be better than him.
Above, why do people always assume I'm talking only about sex?!
Better does not (only) mean better in bed for god's sake.